Dear Drugs-Forum readers: We are a small non-profit that runs one of the most read drug information & addiction help websites in the world. We serve over 2.9 million readers per month, and have costs like all popular websites: servers, hosting, licenses and software. To protect our independence we do not run ads. We take no government funds. We run on donations which average $25. If everyone reading this would donate $5 then this fund raiser would be done in an hour. If Drugs-Forum is useful to you, take one minute to keep it online another year by donating whatever you can today. We just need 1% of our readers to donate. Donations are currently not sufficient to pay our bills and keep the site up. Your help is most welcome. Thank you.
I do try to keep it real all of the time, but obviously that depends on the other person doesn't it? Say they're feeling extremely vulnerable, it really wouldn't be the right time to get honest with them would it?
I don't think any of us "keep it real" all the time or even some of the time. We are constantly assessing and reassessing our surroundings. These are primal instincts and are ingrained within our DNA. Self-preservation is our primary primal objective. And we will often do what it takes to achieve that.
These days that doesn't necessarily mean having to fight off a tiger or crocodile (mostly), but it does mean dealing with people on a daily basis about a range of issues. If we are threatened in any way then our self preservation mechanism kicks in and that's when I think we don't "keep it real." We do what it takes to survive.
Well, just a few thoughts anyway. Interesting thread btw.
I pretty well say what I think around here and in real life. I'm not mean or rude but I don't bullshit people. I've "kept it real" on here several times and gotten tons of red dots and banned, so I mean, some people can't handle reality.
Now if someone is really in a bad way, I'm not going to be as straight foward as I would with someone who is just being an idiot. I will sugar coat shit and even lie to make them feel better.
I have to agree with sparkles, that I try to keep it real all the time. Generally I say what I mean and mean what I say. I have some said some stupid things though. The more I thought about your question, the deeper the hole went. I started to think about all the times I pretended, almost acting through parts of my life. Especially when I was at my worst, I would manipulate people to get my fix. It was a double life for me then. From the outside I looked like I was fine, since I have been a functional addict, meaning I've always worked, held down my jobs, now have my own business. There is this whole other side of me that most don't see. There are a handful of people that actually know me.
I think I would be lying if I said, I always keep it real. I grew up in a circumstance where, I couldn't be myself. I had to act or pretend, in order to not be punished. I know this has followed me into my adult life. These last years have been the best and worst years for me. I once didn't care. These last five years have been teaching me about this. Keeping it real is what I try to do. Since I'm a performing musician, its very important to keep it real. Music has taught me things I never would have imagined. When I preform, I notice when I'm feeling what I'm playing and giving the raw emotion to the audience, that they respond with feeling. The audience feeds my energy and I do my best to give it back. When that happens its like an explosion of energy and vibrations turning into an intangible thing into something magical. It's almost like sex, nobody wants a selfish lover, who goes through the motions and is a taker. Blah! The more I give, the return is always so much better.
So for me I try to 'keep it real'. I am still learning and don't plan on stopping, but I'm finding that giving is often required of me. In order to 'keep it real'. Peace.
I guess i try to keep it real as often as i feel brave enough to . I think i do this pretty much most of the time . I think its a practice thing really , but at the same time its also an exercise in tactfulness .
Learning to balance honesty with tact in order to keep it real without either overly hurting someone's feelings or compromising one's own sense of self (assertiveness) seems to be the way to go .
Obviously there are times when someone is being a complete prick , and tact doesn't seem to register so quickly when dealing with them , but even then , i think its better to keep it real to the best of one's ability .
I also think that there is something refreshingly positive about people who keep it real . I am not confusing this with aggressive behaviours .