Girlfriend Addicted To Cocaine

[phas3d]

SWIM said....

Hey all, I've been a frequent viewer of the forum for a while now, and I must say I've gotten some pretty good advice from the members here. Thanks again everyone!

So, I figured this would be the best place to ask my question, after all of my friends gave me answers that I didn't want to hear. Anyways, I recently broke up with my girlfriend of like 5 years because of coke. I've done it before, but didn't really care for it. I found out that she was lying, going behind my back, and cheating on me with a toothless 'head in a trailer. She wasn't always this type of person. Yeah, we do smoke cannabis quite often, but nothing so powerful like coke.

I guess I'm just wondering...should I just forget about her and let her figure stuff out for herself? She has the right to make whatever choices she wants, but I just don't see this as like her. I know she's addicted, but I don't know how [or even why] I can help. Advice?

[radagast]

firstly you should edit your post which is incriminating use swim "someone who isnt me"
as for your ex wait move on yourself and let her see life for herself and be there for her as a friend.
dont give her money she will or wont come back that is up to her.
a couple of months or years and who knows?

and remember whatever doesnt kill us makes us stronger

Reputation Comments on this post:

Good advice!

[IHrtHalucingens]

This is a tough one. If you really care for her and want to do everything you can to get her back then id say go for it, love is a tricky thing and 5 years is a long time to just give up that quickly. Drug addiction can be a horrible thing for both the user and their loved ones. But there is help out there, the only problem is the only way it will work is if you can convince her that she needs the help. Sit her down and tell her exaclty how you feel and how the drugs have changed your lives and relationship. Although often times it takes hitting rock bottom for people to realize they need help. If she doesnt react well to the confrontation about the drug use, then id say you should tell her you dont want to see her again until she is clean or ready for you to help her get help for herself. Like i said its a tough situation and is going to be just as tough on you as her, but there is help out there and im sure it would make things alot easier for her to have a loved one by her side for support. I hope she will realize the consequences of her actions and decide to make the right choice both for you and her, either way things go i wish you good luck and let us know how thigns go. =)

Reputation Comments on this post:

	Compassionate & insightful reply.
	better than my post

[Nagognog2]

It might require that you can offer a replacement for the drug of choice that your friend is using. Cocaine is a very difficult one to replace. A toothless-wonder from the trailer-park with coke beats four aces in these situations. Can you take the friend on a nice vacation somewhere far away? Show her a beautiful, new part of the country? And then relocate her there with yourself? It may well require such drastic action to untangle her from this winner's net. It would be a full-time job. You must understand that she is not rejecting you. She is manifesting the same behavior as monkeys who are given the choice between a lever to pull that gives the monkey cocaine, and one that gives food - the monkey will starve to death everytime.

Or you could get Gummy-Boy arrested! Set him up with a cute 12 year old. LOL!

Reputation Comments on this post:

better than my post

[radagast]

listen to ihrt and nagognog i think their advice is much better than mine above and probably more what you need to hear
positive ratings to them all round methinks

also swim recommends lsd or mdma with her on a little caravan holiday with a good dose of either one can have a life changing impact

[Ant-Man]

Sorry to hear your going through this......You have two strong and wonderful things going for you, youth and intelligence. Removale and/or relocation of her from these current triggers she has is your surest option. If you allow her to continue in her current environment your chances of saving her are slim. You seem to be a sensative and genuine young man.....your worst case senario is closing that chapter of your life and moving on, very painful I KNOW. At your age, those years you can write off as a learning experiece, and start a new chapter, being wiser to the degradation that can befall some people who experience cocaine. I sincerely hope you can influence her enough to correct her current corse of life, however, if you cannot always remember, "You did your best and its NOT YOUR FAULT".
Be strong and use the two things you have going for you.

[INodHardOhYeah]

Geographical relocation rarely works as a means to end addiction. As to whether or not you should stay with your woman is entirely up to you. I am going to tell you now that you are in for hard times, If you're going to stay with her you need to be there for her 100%. This means tough love though, don't ever giver her money, and don't bail her out of trouble. Emotional support is what she needs from you.

If you do choose to stay with her there is a great deal of literature available on the subject, I reccomend "Get Your Loved One Sober" by Robert J. Meyers and Brenda L. Wolfe

*Link to very famous online bookstore removed*

Best of luck to both of you.

[bunk8017]

i somewhat disagree with the comment that removal from the area doesn't help...i have seen it work...and also seen it not work...if she's ready to stop and you remove her from the situation, its possible that it can be benifitial...but if she's not ready to stop or admit her addiction, she will find another dealer asap!! trust that...so really, only you can answer that question...good luck...and as someone above me stated, please let us know how it goes!!

[phas3d]

I appologize for the lack of response(s) to everyone's post, I've been adjusting to a new job. I've decided that the energy invested in such a task wouldn't yeild satisfactory results. Maybe I'll just let her rot in a self-created hell hole. More people fall through the cracks every day, right? What's another statistic in the record books. natural selection sucks. ;(