Opinions - Benzodiazepines Instead of Anti-Depressants

[Powder_Reality]

Swim has been diagnosed with OCD since he was 12, and has been on a variety of SSRI's and anti depressants such as Prozac, Seroquel, Paxil, Celexa, and many others. They've never helped much, in fact sometimes they've made symptoms a lot worse. At one point when SWIM was 16, he had a period of 6 months when the prescriptions just made him extremely depressed and in a state of extreme anxiety. Swim quit going to school and almost never left his house. Swim basically had a complete nervous breakdown at age 16. SWIM never thought that the pills could be making him feel the way that he did, and of course his psychiatrist didn't make the connection, she just kept prescribing new pills and increasing the dosage of the old ones. Eventually SWIM decided to just quit taking the medications because he was sick of having to take them, and didn't notice any positive effects anyways. After an extremely unpleasant withdrawal, SWIM went on with his life and forced himself to face all the OCD symptoms and fears that he had. It was kind of like cognitive therapy. SWIM hasn't been on any prescriptions for a year and a half, but supplements with 5-HTP and Ginko Biloba. Lately SWIM has been having a lot of social and general anxiety symptoms. When he made an appointment with his doctor, he got prescribed Effexor, but SWIM doesn't want to start his anti depressant cycle all over again. SWIM had some left over Librium pills that he got prescribed for panic attacks a year ago, and after researching the chemical for a bit, decided to take a dose and see if it helped his anxiety. For the first time in a long time, SWIM felt calm and grounded, and was able to relax while he was out. SWIM's anxiety almost disappeared for the entire day. SWIM thinks that if he was able to find the right kind and dose of benzodiazepine, it would help him a lot more than any SSRI could. The problem is that SWIM is afraid to ask his doctor specifically for a benziodiazepine prescription, as it might make the doctor suspicious that SWIM just wants to get high. What should SWIM do?