Want to be addicted

[HardCash21]

I guess it's good that I know of no one who can supply me with coke. Am I crazy for *wanting to be addicted to it? I don't even do drugs any more, but when i did I really DID, and a lot. I used ot be a heavy user of weed, XTC, and occasionally some coke.


What I liked the most about coke is that it made you feel nice and at the same time it didn't effect my thinking pattern. That was VERY apealing to me and still is. I guess I'm just getting bored of the standard sobriety and would actually prefer to start doing coke despite knowing I would regret it in the long run.


WTF is wrong with me? LoL

[markdahman]

You have just discoverd drugs man! Most people who try shit end up realising that drugs r funner then sobriety, This is gonna sound kinda weird but i allways wanted to do so many diff drugs that i would have psychotic behavier sometimes and haha after 3 years i pulled thru i dont knwo if it was the pcp or the coke or maybe even some rc's but i definitly realisedbeing fucked up is fun!

[searcher]

For me, it was easy to get all different kinds of "street" drugs. Living in the city there was always someone who had something they were "pushing". Because weed,crank,acid, coke were so easy to get, and my "friends" were into it to, it is really hard to resist.

[dayslug24]

Thats wonderful! Super Duper Goal, man.

I never wanted to have a happy life either, so I made the same choice your about to make.

Hand over the keys, bitch - Someone stronger will do all the driving now. Do you have insurence?

Your friends and family will see that your now just too damn cool to hang with, so they leave. I always hated having money so I just give all of it to my dealer.

Its fun to never make any sense and not care about anything but coke anymore. Its now my best friend because my other friends wont call me anymore.

You may be able to stay sharp now, but very quickly your thinking and logic will really start to suck ass, right along with your life in general.

Think real hard before you decide then ask yourself if you want to be like that cracked out fuckin weirdo 'dayslug24' who left you a post on this forum.

....Its just My opinion though......

[chronic777]

Being self destructive is in our nature, we're only human.

[dayslug24]

you is right Chronic777.

When I do something really bad and i know what it may result in, I now just say fuck it and do it anyway.

I'll know its wrong, but I feel if i want to do this then it means i should no matter the consequences. I wont be content or fufilled untill I do this.

I think I need to get over this by doing it, then you can move on. No matter how bad of an act it may seem, It is still who you are and something that will cause a problem sooner or later, so deal with it now, realize you wanted to do this /its who you are/ so there is no guilt, recoup any damage it brings, and finally move on.

Check my logic on this - make sense to you guys?



Is it really wreckless behavior?



... being honest with yourself and not hiding who you really are(good or bad)



... a lack of sophistication needed to separate humans from animals?

......Or am I just really high?

[dayslug24]

Oh, yeah -

Dude, before you decide, find everything that makes you happy now while your sober - Whatever you look forward to doing/seeing and you would miss if it was gone.(and dont say coke, smart-ass)

A Lady?

Friends? Work? favorite t.v. show or daily routine? your money? Sports? Cat?

Dog? Guinea Pig?

Would you trade all of these things for coke?

I'll Tell you what -

give me all of your money so I can buy a mountain of coke,

and I'll let you fu*K my girlfriend for a few months.

This way you get the same pleasure effect as coke for the same amount of time, and I get to prove my point of what someone will give up just for some blow.



.....attention K-Mart Shoppers:

we need a sanity check, aisle 4 please,

sanity check , aisle 4

[bride]

^^



I think if it gets to that point in a person's life, there is more going on than just an addiction to drugs, there are some pyschological problems there as well. I can honestly say I'm addicted, but I also draw the line when it will affect me losing my house (or the things in it), car, husband or the guinea pig. I weigh the importance of these things and the priority I have to keep my life as it is (just with added recreational chemical enhancement) and I act accordingly.



I have felt that way .. when I was addicted to Meth, but I was in high school, I was going through an abusive relationship, problems at home and I just plain didn't give a fu*k about too many things when I was speedy.



I suppose I am in a different place now, but I also faithfully practice harm reduction and education.I think maybe some of the hopelessness and depression that is felt is normal because of depleted dopamine levels, but maybe trying to counteract that by taking some L-Tyrosine when partying and practicing some physical harm reduction techniques can help lessen the despair that can be a result of extended cocaine usage.Maybe a trip to a head doc and getting on some anti-depressants can also help as well.



I'm not judging you ^^, I'm just making some observational comments directed toward the "addiction of coke."

[beach986]

<BLOCKQUOTE>Originally posted by bride on 16 July 2004
<HR>
^^

I think if it gets to that point in a person's life, there is more going on than just an addiction to drugs, there are some pyschological problems there as well. I can honestly say I'm addicted, but I also draw the line when it will affect me losing my house (or the things in it), car, husband or the guinea pig. I weigh the importance of these things and the priority I have to keep my life as it is (just with added recreational chemical enhancement) and I act accordingly.

I have felt that way .. when I was addicted to Meth, but I was in high school, I was going through an abusive relationship, problems at home and I just plain didn't give a fu*k about too many things when I was speedy.

I suppose I am in a different place now, but I also faithfully practice harm reduction and education.I think maybe some of the hopelessness and depression that is felt is normal because of depleted dopamine levels, but maybe trying to counteract that by taking some L-Tyrosine when partying and practicing some physical harm reduction techniques can help lessen the despair that can be a result of extended cocaine usage.Maybe a trip to a head doc and getting on some anti-depressants can also help as well.

I'm not judging you ^^, I'm just making some observational comments directed toward the "addiction of coke."
<HR>
</BLOCKQUOTE>


There are many levels of addiction along the cocaine consumption continuum. Usually progression along the continuum correlates with how bored or screwed up our lives are (the proverbial chicken & the egg conundrum kinda comes into play though, huh?)


As for going on anti-deps, while that would intuitively relieve the burden of depression, "a guy I know" found that such treatment 'levelled him out' (moods, etc.) and made the post-consumption crashes less severe. With that disincentive removed, usage increased instead of decreasing...


As far as the original post "I wanna be addicted" -- unless you're loaded like little Mary-Kate Olsen, and can afford rehab when you eventually need it (you will) I'd say don't start. Once you do it is too late.

[HardCash21]

I think I'm basically addicted to addiction. I have an addictive personality (so my former therapist said) and I will go at something for a while and will eventually stop when I'm satisfied. I guess that is a bad trait knowing that you can never "have" enough or be satisfied with the amount of coke you do....from what I hear anyway...


But with all of that said I STILL WANT TO DO COKE. Call me fuckin crazy..maybe I am..but i really just don't give a fuck. I just need my fix................!!!!

[Nicaine]

<blockquote>Originally posted by bride on 16 July 2004I think maybe some of the hopelessness and depression that is felt is normal because of depleted dopamine levels, but maybe trying to counteract that by taking some L-Tyrosine when partying and practicing some physical harm reduction techniques can help lessen the despair that can be a result of extended cocaine usage.<hr></blockquote><hr>Harm reduction *rules*. Even something as small as switching to a high protein/fat diet can help a lot... if you're eating less, eating food with more calories (more of everything actually) is important. Even crucial.[/i]<hr>


Something as simple as a daily high potency vitamin along with carefully chosen foods and constant liquids... amazing what a difference it makes. Might be tough when someone's in a space where they don't give a f*ck tho.



P.S. a few of my favorite foods: Deli meats (I'll just scarf 5 or 6 slices anytime), 2% or 4% cottage cheese, hot pockets, tomatoes (I crave 'em), yogurt (easy to get down), Ensure Plus nutrition drink (just on occasion, it's pricey as hell), high fat/protein TV dinners, sardines/tuna, others...

[exoice]

ey,<img border="0" src= "smileys/smiley16.gif">


only someone who is truly unhappy and at the end of the line would actually choose to get addicted to coke, (why coke&gt;&lt;if ure choosing), or someone who was looking to excape from the reality they are in.


I can really relate to this&gt;i'm not judging, i want to try heroin&gt;be addicted to it&gt;i'm fascinated by the lifestyle&gt;&gt;but i never will.

[OneDiaDem]

I think you need to find peyote, or some mescaline. Not only is it the cadillac of highs, but it will curb your desire for coke. Not to mention the awsome benefits it has to offer.

[Ricky.McLennan]

For sure, Mescaline is the best fucking thing in the world, and its not addictive

[P!MPJU!C3]

Its really weird because i have the same feeling as hard cash. ALlthough i have never done any hard drugs, i really feel an addiction thing going on in me. I dont understand the force of it. I know that it got me addicted to alcohol @ the age of 14, I know it got me addicted to cigs @ the age of 14 and totally addicted to ladies @ the age of 14.

14 really is a magical number.

When i watch my friends do coke in my room, in the disco or while playin pool. The white powder in the bag is like calling out 2 me like a voluptuous 35 year old lady:"Come on big boy, let me blow your mind."

My parents both have a coffee addiction and they both used 2 smoke. My father always needs his: "To take the edge off" drink. It has been said that their are genes 4 addiction. Do you think I have those?

Now I dont think I will ever ride the white horse. As Dayslug said. I dont wnat to loose the life im in now.

[TheMethGuy]

If you leave in a city its easy like shopping at walmart!

[dr ACE]

supposedly the first time some people use crack or cocaine they become addicted instantly, and thats it their just totally hooked for life,so its just not worth it because ofthe risk of jail time too.and thier is a very small ammount of people who can have an acute sensitivy to it and just od the first time they try it.lifes too short to waste it on an expensive white powder

[whitetrain]

nothing's wrong with u, im addicted to coke and i still live a normal life and only two people in my family know i do coke and thats cause they party with me. coke is the best drug because u can function on it. I like pot and all, but i smoked a joint last night and it is just so different from coke, but still awesome.sorry if im ramblin, im on a bunch o shit right now

[BCgirl]

coke and crack for me too.. I agree with whitetrain

[Crackkim]

crack for me

[Solidly-here]

It's Nice to Feel THIS Good. Please allow me to be an Addict to This stuff.


I have thought about having something SO intensely Fantastic, that I would want to Feel it again-and-again, forever. It's healthy to Dream. Many of the things that we do, are Fueled by Dreams: My Dream of being a Man ... being a Son ... being a good Friend ... living a simple Life. Certain Drugs make my Dreams come True. Lucky me. And I wish the same to others: Find a Drug that Works, and take it . . . often. Dream On.


Somehow, it makes Life simple to think that taking a substance will help allow me to live a Happy Life. It takes the pressure off of me, and plops it on this Magic drug. So ... I take it, Mmm. Wow! Now I can just kick back and enjoy it. Hmm, I can See it Now. I have the Right attitude: Life is beautiful.

[oldman]

swim can function well using many subs. but cocaine is not one of them. It gets so deep in his mind that he actually belives his own lies, (that he's got everything under control and that it helps him function better). He has only done it once in the last 12 years and knew then that it was too risky to try again. He does enjoy the benefits of rc's and the $ are much more reasonable.

[ventrue]

i believe what we're seeing is that some people SHOULD NOT DO DRUGS. it doesn't mean that nobody can handle "x" type of drug, but theres a very distinct cross-section of the population that just shouldn't do it. maybe its gene related or something, but we all have known that guy who did just as much as us, and nobody said it out loud, but he just scared the hell out of us. maybe it was some of us. but i think its wrong to use the same ONDCP propaganda message like dayslug is doing. "if you do this your life will be ruined." yeah, you might end up screwing up and getting out of hand addicted, you might not. none of us can analyze your personality enough on here to tell you that. what a lot of us would agree on, whatever your path is, if you take it as an experience, you'll come out of it knowing your true self a lot better. whether its a long winding path or a short narrow one, is your business.

[oldman]

so true dude, every bad experience that happens to me instead of freakin out I just say I'm gonna chalk that one up for experience. Igone through a lot of chalk, but I keep my head up and not repeat the same sort of behavior or bad choices that landed me there.that has at times meant giving up chems for a while.


and about the genetic stuff ventrue I have this theory that those of us, I do include myself that use find the rewards of the buzz more phenominal and the level of conscience so familiar we feel like we just came home.In addition to that I think we metabolize the matter in diffent waysto a point that we don't suffer the negative consequences like hang-overs (been very rare) as hard as othersand there is less negativity surrounding use. AnywayI've quit for several years at a time before and the benefits have been good, therefore I need to use more cognitive means of controling my behavior concerning usage.