Antisocial behavior and rebellion

[William_Again]

my friends gathered around me and started chanting "One of Us, one of
us, one of us" so i tried pot. I thankfully am not heavily into drugs
and hopefully wont ever get addicted, but I will continue to try them
in order to feel something new.

[windtraveler]

Ha ha elio...you got that right...

I first tried beer when i was very young, 10 or 12 or even younger. My dad always had a stash around, and he had us trained to bring him beers....and when no one was looking, we would take big swigs of it. Then when i got to be 15, me and my best friend got into my dad's giant ice chest of beer in the garage. We each drank one, then decided four wouldnt be missed, then six, and so on and so one until we were piss drunk. The next day i had such a bad hangover that for the next two years i didnt touch the stuff, even though everyone around me was getting drunk every weekend. Back then i said fuck peer pressure; i'll do what i want to do, not what others want me to do.

The same thing with pot. There were lots of tokers around me, but i didnt want to use just because they wanted me to, and there were many chances for me to try it back then. But the people that i saw smoking it i didnt like at all. So i actually tried a couple of haevy duty rc's before i ever tried marijuana, and i tried those because.....they were there, to simply see what the effects were, to expand my mind, to experience altered states, or just why not? etc etc.

Anyway, it was anything but rebellion against parents or government or society.

[Inferno13]

For those of you that answered something like this "Because other people around me did, so I tried it" do you think you would have discovered it anyways if you hadn't hung out with the same crowd? Or would you have just stayed away from it entirely?


My situation was the same as those people's. But I think that through my constant curiousity for traversing different states of consciousness, I would have discovered them eventually (at least I'd like to think so). But then the question always remains, did my curiosity for these hightened states and my love for the counter-culturestem from my initial proximity to drugs? It seems sad but true...

[max17]

About pot : I was just curious. I'm always curious about the things that are "dangereous" and illigal. Actually during 10th grade I was too shy and didn't know anybody, so I didn't have connections


Dealing with alcohol - I started drinking in 7th grade or think. I didn't drink much though. First time I tried vodka was my freshman year in HS. I don't consider alcohol a drug - I consider it as a drink.


After few visits to erowid.com and other web sites I decided to try something more cerious - DXM.


Oh yeah I do drugs because it's fun, it helps you relax and it makes your problems go away for a while

[Inferno13]

Originally Posted by max17

it helps you relax and it makes your problems go away for a while

The only thing that I would have to discourage from my own personal experience. Having suffered through a morphine and methadone addiction I could never again look at drugs as a means of escaping your problems. If anything, it makes them worse. I think that drugs should be used for relaxation, personal insight, experimentation, or because they just make you feel good. Responsibility comes with taking drugs. It's important to always excersize your responisibility to yourself and others when dealing with them. I used to look to drugs as a means of escape. I didn't know what I was escaping from in the beginning but soon it began to evolve into a cycle of me trying to escape my drug problems by forgetting about them by doing drugs...sounds a little ridiculousbut that's how I felt at the time.


If I gathered anything from my experience it was this: Some things in life are meant to be dealt with in this reality. Whether you like it or not, at some point you will have to face your life. I learned the hard way and I hope that no one ever has to go through the shit storm thatI endured.


I'm in no ways trying to lecture anyone however lol far from it. Just my own personal views. Everyone screws up once or twice along the way. That's what makes things that go right seem so much better.


BTW: On your DXM note, SWIM knows someone that is combining NyQuil gel caps and sucrets and extracting the DXM. SWIM thinks it should be pretty intense. Thought you might like to know as it's SWIM's first time trying this.Edited by: Inferno13

[Inferno13]

God I sound like a fucking old man...I hope that didn't come across with too many cliches dripping from it...

[searcher]

Some excellent comments. I am not a cop or journalist. I came across this forum just surfing one day. Seemed like an interesting place, interesting people, lots of interesting topics...so, I decided I'd just start being a contributing person here... thats all...

I tried drugs because I thought they would contribute to my "life experiences"... thats all..

[The_Great_Sage]

I don't know why or when i started drugs i dont remember but i do know
it was goo din a way and it was bad in like one way but im here now and
i cant look back and regret but i can look back and think "Dam nice
times man" so maybe i do them because they arent bad its just people
who think they are bad. i see drugs in everyones life so there will
proly be a million different reasons someone could do them.

[dr ACE]

its a good feeling to do something ppl say you cant an then get away with it,its kind of saying a big fuck off with out actually say it lol Edited by: dr ACE

[Inferno13]

I'm with you Sage. I think I fucked up once or twice (probably more) but in the long run I don't think I would have come this far with the experience I have if it hadn't been for drugs. And thinking back to how I was, I don't think that I'd like the person I would have become without drugs. It changed everything for me.


The only regrets I have are when I loved drugs too much. I ended up losing friends and relationships because of my passionate love. But what I thought was a love turned out to be an addiction. But the things I took away from that part of my life will stay with me for the rest of my existance. As much as I lost from those times, I think that I have gained so much more from it. Those "fuck-ups" made me who I am today. I'm more than thankful for the opportunities that were available to me and the experiences that molded my perception. I only wish I could have taken some of my friends with me...

[grecian]

when i was younger like 11 or 12 years old i believed everything the media and my parents and my school had told me about drugs. all the bullshit basically. And then i got a bit older and saw my friends start and there was me thinking that they were on a downward spiral towards homelessness etc. anyway as the months went by more and more ppl i knew were doing drugs and they didnt wanna rape ppl or steal from old ppl or any of the other shit i'd been told


if anything they were better people, more thoughtful and more concerned with morality than the people who had been telling me for years not to touch drugs.


if im honest i think seeing how it affected my friends was the main reason i started but i would probably be lying if i said there wasnt a bit of resentment at the lies i'd been fed by society's institutions ( family, school, church etc). so maybe i also started as a way of rebelling against all that hypocracy

[rna153]

SWIM started using drugs like this:


1) tobacco- just to try it


2) beer/liquor- just to try it


3) weed-SWIM's boyfriend and friends would do it soSWIM started to do it too


4) coke- just to piss off some people ex. boyfriend


5) coke and weed-just to getthe feeling


6) primos- SWIM thought fuck it i've done coke and weed now let's just add some coke on top of the weed and roll up the joint

[Creeping Death]

Before i actually knew anything about drugs (other than what the school told me) i hated them. I thought all people who take drugs are assholes and everyone ends up a homeless junky sucking cock and stealing for a hit.

But that was when i was 10 or 11 years old or something. Then i grew a brain. So i needed something to take me away from something i hated. I smoked weed (after doing reserch on the internet :P), and hey, i liked it. And it didn't make me stupid, didn't make me criminal, and i wasn't homeless. Drugs really opened me up towards everything, and now i use a variety of them for many different reasons. Not to rebel, but because i like them and they improve my life. And fuck everybody who says otherwise. I guess it is a kind of rebellion, but so is everything that includes forming your own opinion about anything.

[reptile]

FUCK NO.


That's gotta be the stupidest reason for takin drugs right next to peer pressure.


Drugslooked fun. And they are.

[uqlfy]

My first time getting high was off my moms stash. When she
came home and realized I was stoned she promptly gave me lecture on how
drugs were satans work and how she had never touched them.



So I guess after that it was rebellion that got me truly experimenting
with other drugs. Later it was for recreation. Today it is more an
exploration of mind that compells me to keep going down the rabbit hole.

[wann]

I started with other drugs after alcohol, because I realized that there
were possibilities to experience different 'realities' (whatever you'd
want to call them).



Now I use some drugs as tools ((meth)amphetamines mostly) for doing my
work better or something to that extent, other drugs for relaxing my
mind (alcohol, weed) and other drugs for exploring myself (mushrooms,
DXM).

[Diphenhydramine]

Hooooooooly shit, inferno13. Your first two posts made me reflect
a huge deal. What am I doing? Are drugs really interfering
with my life? You question topics that I feel similiarily
about. Am I going downhill? I have lost many friends due to
drugs, abused friends because of drugs, denied myself opportunities
because of drugs.



Swim takes drugs to escape the monotony of his life. I am lonely,
stranded in an environment with no friends, escape. No driver's
license (it was suspended due to underage drinking), no high school
graduate certificate, no money, what little I do have, buying
drugs. I live at home with my parents. I have not had
contact with someone other than them in 5 weeks. Lately all I
ahve had in life is music, my dog, and what I am beginning to see as a
blossoming opiate addiction. Is this wrong? Is my entire
life wrong? I can't help it though. I cannot imagine my
life without drugs; they have become necessary.



I was expelled from my boarding school, and am unable to currently
recieve a diploma. My best friends are either in jail, or are
dealers, something that they promised themselves never to do.

[Alfa]

I see psychedelics and weed as tools which can be used for self exploration. To open inner doors or capabilities. To learn things that otherwise would need decades or might never have come. Shortcuts on the road of mysticisme. This is why I started with weed & LSD. Only later I started to use drugs for pure fun as well.

[billbong]

for me personnally, i used to be antisocial, and rebelled a lot. when i was in nursery my best mate at the time (i have no memory of him or the accident) got run over.
from then on it was a downward spiral, getting arressted all the time getting kicked out of schools putting my mum and sis through shit.

Shortly after my first acid experience (i'm not saying acid caused the change, but something did) things changed and i am making up for my mistakes

[boomer0]

i was always kind of an uptight kid, so when i started to chill out and smoke bud and stuff it sort of went along with a more relaxed and happy lifestyle that i was reaching for. someone said it above, but it was like rebeling against myselfbut alsoin the same way it was like rebeling against the factors that made me the way i am (like parents, school, other control structures, general society). that wasn't the only reason, but i'd definately say it contributed.

[afromonkey]

I didn't consciously, no, and i'd like to be able to say for sure that
i do that sort of thing because i enjoy many different aspects of the
experiences, but i always feel a nagging doubt that maybe I *am* doing
it to rebel.



Who knows...



does anyone else feel that, maybe, they are rebelling subconsciously?


Edited by: afromonkey

[Sky Walker]

I think the main reason for my drug use is largely due to the fact that I was brought up in a drug using household. My Mum and Dad both smoked marijuana and occasionally (not to my knowledge, at the time) used magic mushrooms. Being brought up in a healthy drug using environment does wonders for your perception of drug use and abuse, rebellion, childhood problems or escape were never motivators for wanting to try drugs, just simple curiosity to explore all that life had to offer.

Curiosity at such a young age, 8ish, is a highly powerful emotion that is practically unshakable, especially if you think it's all good and are unaware of any negative aspects of drugs, then add on the fact that I had an extremely wonderful and fantastically beautiful trip, that's right a psychedelic trip when I was somewhere between 5-10 years old (really can't remember the actual age, I'll ask my Dad next time I see him, then edit later). After my first experience with intoxication and different plains of consciousness I knew that I wanted to do it again and again and again. I actually remember asking my Dad if we would be able to acquire a tank of that wonderful gas the dentist had given me as I wished to use it at night before going to sleep. When my Dad told me that it was "special" gas only to be given out, too and by a qualified dentist, I was disheartened to say the least but still determined to achieve that feeling again.

On went life and at the young age of 11 I finally got a high that I had so desperately craved, at my sisters 18th, her mates who all thought I was a bit older, were sneaking me bits of joints and filling my glass up with their beers, spirits, wines and even the dreaded cider. Obviously without my sister realizing all her friends were giving me these copious amounts of substances there was no regulator for my consumption, which as we all know resulted in a very drunken and stoned child. Knowing what happens to very drunken and stoned children it would seem pointless to retell the inevitable end of that night but hell I'll do it anyway. After finally getting to bed the spins hit and they hit HARD, moments later I was projectile vomiting straight into the air, barely mobile I rolled over sluggishly and pointed my face between the wall and my bed where I lay all night completely fucked vomiting all over myself, my bed, my wall and finally the floor. The morning came and I felt better although at the same time terrible. I couldn't wait to smoke some hash without the sickening effects of alcohol but didn't REALLY get into it till about a year later, I think.

So yea, suppose it was just human curiosity that got me into drugs, seeing as I was brought up with it, I was cool with it so I wasn't rebelling or attention seeking (which my bastard of a step mum would always say, very straight edges, 4) I wasn't trying to escape any pain and definitely not crumbling to peer pressure, I've always seen myself as the Peer-Pressure-Police, have stopped many a timed sheep from doing things they didn't really want to due to peer pressure, shit man it's pretty amazing how powerful peer pressure can be, some people really need our help, they just wanna fit in. I just wanted the experiences, life experience.

[LowExpectations]

I've always found my drug interest to be of the healthiest sort, bereft of peer pressure or rebellion. I started because of fascination, fascination with my mind and how far it can travel in so many different directions. Even when I was little I loved to think and just get lost in myself, that never ending introspective journey that has built me to be who I am and will continue for years to come. Getting lost in a book is little different from getting lost in a drug, and my love of pushing my mind to its limits and examining the results and reactions has improved me in countless ways.

The first real trip I had was the classic substance for a growing psychonaut, morning glory seeds. I was safe about it even then, I watched for the treated seeds and my tripping buddy and I, a friend since 5th grade, ate 300 each. It was a life changing experience.

I for one hate being out of control of myself, hate being fucked up, but the degradation of my being to its core, and then the rebuilding of everything that I am today was a wondrous experience, positive in every way.

Ahhh, the joy and the humanity
Freedom of profanity
Society
Has got nothin' on me.

Let the exploration of yourself commence and follow your soul to its depths. Self-awareness is a gift that should never be taken for granted, truly a gift of the divine. Drugs are a tool, a way to pry into yourself, they can only inspire what already exists. They can only extract you, and no one else. Thus they are more true than anything anyone can tell you, just keep them in perspective and understand your place in society and existance. Addicts and the disillusioned show themselves as those that cannot handle themselves, not those that cannot handle the substance (or simply that aspect of themself, in particular cases.) And you should never do anything for any reason but your own.

[Silence_Inc]

started weed early followed by shrooms arround 15.

from that point on i started to rebel more and act a little more antisocial - it was US (trippers) and THEM ( people that don't undertsand what it's all about).

later on, after more drugs - the drugs kicked my bud and showed me another concept - instead of rebeling and being antisocial - be in harmony.

so it hink they learend me the opposite in the long run.

but it's only on what point of view you look - cause i would still be at the front row when the revolution starts for freedom of truth!

[quili]

It's hard to say what the initial push was for swim. Swim actually began her earlier years hating any form of drug usage- using the age-old argument of "chemical maniuplation=inherently bad." She never even drank for a very long time, probably relating to the fact that she disliked how her dad drank. It seemed like a crutch. Swim still hates the idea of dependency on anything.

Swim got into drugs very quickly. It was the combination of exploration, curiousity, a changing "life philosophy," and a sort of general "right place at the right time" situation.

When her interest in drugs was aroused, she had to actively seek out new friends to do it with because many of her friends also did not partake in those activities. She still has a mixture of friends, some who are staunchly against drug usage even. Since drugs are a significant part of swim's life now, she feels like it's a pretty big separation because it suggests that some fundamental views are very different. All swim's drug usage and life choices in general are connected with how she views life/her general philosophy.