You're glad I found DF - how do you think I feel lol!! Such a relief!
I'm so lucky. I have no idea what could have happened to me but I know what did happen & it was pretty F bad.
Just to be clear, the doc
put me up to about 200 (I think 210)mg/day of OC. On my own I dropped down to 105 before I went into that really nasty withdrawal
where I, well, it's all written here. I found I had to increase 20mg to stabilise (keeping in mind I'd been dropping 5mg every 3-4 days). That stopped me from being mental anymore.
So at 125mg I had a break while I got "un-mental" & found out as much as I could while getting my strength back, educating my husband & Mum.
Then a couple of weeks ago I started dropping the dose again - I'm currently on 115 & due to drop to 110mg on Weds.
You are right about my sensitivity to meds. I have various medical problems including hypogammaglobulinemia (a messed up immune system) & am on antibiotics for sinusitis as a result of that. I have a bunch of other illnesses, Spondlyoarthropathy, "Benign" Hypermobile Joint Disorder (aka EDS III), chronic pain, chronic fatigue syndrome - take a pick basically. And yeah I do react really strongly to chemical changes.
As you say 5mg is the smallest dose I can get in the contin, I'll have to switch to oxycodone
at some point - probably oxynorm since it's liquid & I can take the dose as small as needed really. Gosh to think that 18 months ago I used to ask to be prescribed OC as ON so I could cut the dose down as small as possible without having to muck around with chopping up pills.
Yes, I did tell my brother about my "issues". We get on well. I haven't told my sister & my dad doesn't really know what's going on (he told some family friends "*reetpetite* is addicted to some drug
...". Good one. Yeah. I'm not ashamed, it's just the misunderstanding. I haven't gone into full detail with everyone - not everyone knows about the psychosis & suicide ideations. That's a bit much to tell.
I definitely get the percentages thing - that as the overall dose gets smaller the amount I drop will be a bigger percentage. I really hope it was the missed dose that made me worse over the weekend. Before that I'd been saying to hubby - oh maybe I can keep dropping back for 6 weeks & then have a break...But then I got hit with this & I'm wondering how on earth I can keep doing 4 weeks before a break (I know I'm setting my own rules at the moment - tho' by mucking up my prescription the specialist has kinda put the thumbscrews on, unintentionally). I used to have heaps of stockpiled OC to the point where I didn't even collect the scripts from the pharmacy anymore & they would expire - a dumb GP (general practise doctor) who didn't pay attention. But the doc I changed to is a bit more hard arsed (which is partly why I picked him - I trust him more).
By the way, over the last week or so I also dropped back pregabalin
- I was on a dose of 225mg but managed to drop to 150mg. I couldn't get hold of my doc to prescribe smaller doses so I had to reduce by a whole capsule. I was 58kgs before they put me on it & am now 85kg (5 months!!!). Cruel that it works so well for the pain but it has such hideous side effects
. Last night the pain was really bad so I took an extra one but other than that I'm just taking the lower dose.
So maybe reducing more than one thing might have contributed...(probably!)
Argh, sorry I just realised I'm just rambling!
Hopefully this week goes better, and this one was just a blip. I've set the alarm in my phone to remind me to take the night time pills now as well as the afternoon dose, hopefully no more mistakes. It's so easy though - this morning I found I'd filled my box (I use a weekly dosette box for my pills) but had only put in 1/2 the amount of my SSRI
). I don't know if that was all week or only Mon & Tues. If it was all week that
could really have mucked me up as SSRIs need to be very slowly tapered.
I just found out I see my pain specialist in a week. That should be an interesting meeting.
I just have to say "thank you, thank you, thank you!". I don't know how to express my gratitude enough for your time, energy & support. You're just completely brilliant xxx
PS, sorry, I just had to come back to say, sometimes I think how close I came to not being here, by my own hand, not so many weeks ago & I just cry. I know I wasn't myself at the time but when I realise I could be gone & with a husband who has recently lost both of his parents...But at least now I am back, and I *hope* I know what to look for - I have to be humble about this because I have no idea what form symptoms will take when they come. I just hope I will know things are not as they ought to be & will be able to get help. Hubby has all emergency numbers plus my permission to put me into hospital/get me arrested/whatever if he has to. Because I don't know who I'll be if I go into WD like that again. Scary.