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Opiate addiction Support for coping with Opiate addiction and Opiate addiction treatment.

 
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  #1  
Old 12-08-2012, 01:21
reetpetite reetpetite is offline
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Oxycontin withdrawal - help me please

Hi,

I'm a newbie, I've had a look at the "how to" threads on how to detox from OC. I'm physically dependent, not addicted. My doc put on increasing doses up to more than 200mg. Since it wasn't working he said to come off. He gave me pregabalin for the pain instead. Of course now he wants me off that as well (the weight gain is horrendous).

I was a bit nonchalant about reducing OC at first, reducing each week 15mg. Later the doc said no no way & said 5. We negotiated 10, but by then it was too late & I was in serious withdrawal.

No-one had given me any info or support about withdrawal from OC, not what to expect, nothing. I nearly died. It was only once I got to the point where I had my brain telling me to string myself up & that I must die by the end of the week that I realised something was seriously wrong. I got hubby to google OC withdrawal.

When we realised what was going on I took an extra tab (20mg) & by the afternoon I was back to myself. A couple of days trying 10mg extra, 15, resulted in withdrawal symptoms before next due dose so settled on 20mg.

Since then I've had another run of sinusitis & am on Doxycycline & supposed to be on prednisone but can't face more drugs.

My hubby has begged me not to cut anything else out until I'm stable. Today is the first day in a week I've made it to lunchtime without tears. I skipped my morning doxy, but I doubt that is it.

I have enough health troubles - I have immune deficiency (hypogammaglobulinemia) & no immunologist in my area). Spondyloarthropathy & other stuff.

I just need to be able to keep reducing the OC without high risk of death.

I've put a list of emergency numbers on the fridge for hubby if he's having to deal with severe suicidal ideation or psychosis.

Can someone here give me some clues - I'm now willing to follow the doc's advice on 5mg/week. Am I going to survive this? I have to.

Please, please help me.

I'm not using 3rd person because I'm not doing anything wrong & I am not interested in doing so. I'm no angel but I am (otherwise) clean, can't even drink due to allergies.

But I do also have Stilnox (ambien) for sleep (works less well these days) & diazepam which I am willing to help me use come off OC unless it's likely to lead to benzo dependence.

I'm so frightened but determined to beat this.
  #2  
Old 12-08-2012, 01:58
Smeg Smeg is offline
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Re: Oxycontin withdrawal - help me please

There's quite a few issues (both physical and psychological) that are mentioned in your post. In fact there's veritable list.

What are your priorities at the moment?

Even though you've mentioned some self harming ideation (which is way beyond the remit of Drugs forum, reet) there's also a healthily expressed need for surviving all of this. Also, you don't sound psychotic. Your needs are well and coherently expressed.

I really have to return, though, to what you actually want to happen?

It sounds like there's a good supportive team of people there (including yourself).

Perhaps prioritising what you want, and (more importantly) need would be helpful to you. You've mentioned internal and external protective resources.

There are elements of definite wisdom in your aspirations for a better future, reet.

Keep talking, and listening to yourself and others.

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Last edited by Smeg; 12-08-2012 at 02:26. Reason: Additional
  #3  
Old 12-08-2012, 03:37
reetpetite reetpetite is offline
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Re: Oxycontin withdrawal - help me please

Thank you. You are right. I thought after to write more but I had put so much already & I don't want to overload people.

I want to get off the oxycontin. Mostly I want reassurance that it can be done safely, slowly. I would love to hear that it is not going to be all horrific. I don't care if it takes 6 or 12 months. I just want to be free. And to know that can happen safely.

I want off the pregabalin, but having read other posts on this forum about use of pregabalin to prevent opiate WD symptoms I am concerned at doing both at once as my doctor would like.

I have no history of mental illness, any current experience I am thoroughly aware is drug induced. I am rather used to working in the field of mental health that being on this side is the more frightening for the knowledge I have.

I currently do not/cannot work so all this is done at home - of course this has the benefit of never having to call in sick.

My Mum called to check on me today (she is the one who found out more information including the name of a drug support agency in NZ who I will call on Monday if I am up to it). Between her & my husband I have good support & care, though I have concern for the level of care my husband has to take on. He has been my carer for 6 years while working full time, we've moved so that my health can be more easily managed & he can care for me more easily here while continuing to work. He also gets little sleep as I snore (drug related) so I have concern for him though he says he is fine.

I need to hear from people that I can do this. That I am not necessarily always going to feel awful. That by reducing 5mg every week, 10 days or 2 weeks will get me off Oxycontin.

I will not fail but I am afraid that my brain will start telling me to hurt myself again, and that I will have to suffer that. I am scared I am letting people around me down, though I know they are proud of me & do not think less of me for what I am going through (depression, WD etc).

I am scared & want reassurance. Support - though I am new here & it is a lot to ask of strangers. Information.

Could trying to reduce pregabalin have put me into oxycontin withdrawal for example? It felt like it. That's how I found this forum.

Are there other supports I can put into place to help get me through? I have twice written to the specialist who put me on OC & have had no answer (though in the past he has been prompt). I told my GP what had been happening, I will see him when I can & ask him what support he can offer & what else is out there.

Am I the only person in the world who has had this? Am I alone? Sometimes I think so.

Thank you for listening xx
  #4  
Old 12-08-2012, 03:46
Fentiful Fentiful is offline
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Re: Oxycontin withdrawal - help me please

Feet,

I'm on my mobile but I wanted to say I have been in a similar way. If you go to some of my posts i go into detail about withdrawing off of high doses of opiates and pain meds, including gabapentin which is similar to pregabalin. You can get there through clicking on my name. If is possible to get thru this with a lot less ordeal than your expecting if you prepare yourself. I'll be around to help if and expound if necessary.
  #5  
Old 12-08-2012, 04:05
Twizal Twizal is offline
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Re: Oxycontin withdrawal - help me please

Hello ,see someone closer to home. Tapering down off oxy can be done but slowly . Talk to dr. And find what suits your body. You may need 3 weeks to adjust to the drop.maybe longer. Everyone is different and you have other medical issues. It's not a race , why did the dr. want you off the pain meds?
In Australia high dosages are usually prescribed after seeing a pain management team, then monitored by G.P. have you seen a team yet? I would advise you to ask G.P. if you have this service.
You are going to make it through , you are strong and doing all you can to fix this. You are most definitely not alone .....keep reading DF and posting you'll soon see.
I'm concerned about the suicidal thoughts... Could be the anguish of W/D s first time around, can make you feel you are dying and then wishing you could. If you are on other anti-depressants /sleep meds etc depends how you use these can also effect your emotional stability. Let your dr. Know what happened. Remember we are here for you. Lots of love ,post soon.x

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great on topic useful info
good questions, good info, good support
great advise
  #6  
Old 12-08-2012, 04:10
Shigeru Shigeru is offline
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Re: Oxycontin withdrawal - help me please

Quote:
Originally Posted by reetpetite View Post
I need to hear from people that I can do this. That I am not necessarily always going to feel awful. That by reducing 5mg every week, 10 days or 2 weeks will get me off Oxycontin.

I will not fail but I am afraid that my brain will start telling me to hurt myself again, and that I will have to suffer that. I am scared I am letting people around me down, though I know they are proud of me & do not think less of me for what I am going through (depression, WD etc).
If you can manage to stay on that schedule I would think that you should be able to come off Oxycontin with very little discomfort. That's a pretty slow taper and you should have an easy time of it. Just take it slow and give yourself a change to stabilize at each dose before dropping the next time and you should be fine.

This is something you need to do for yourself, for your own good. In this instance put yourself first and be good to yourself both physically and mentally. Treat yourself to warm baths and things like that. Don't concern yourself with what other people think or worry about whether or not you're living up to their standards. You need to come first, at least while you're coming off Oxycontin.

Good luck, I know you can do it.

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So reassuring
  #7  
Old 12-08-2012, 04:27
Euphoria Ruby Euphoria Ruby is offline
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Re: Oxycontin withdrawal - help me please

I have a relative through my only child, his paternal grandfather on the evil side of the family, has been a Morphine and Oxycodone as long as I've known him, which is the past decade. I've seem his script ages ago because his GP is a family friend, hence a "dodgy" GP, whereas my relatives especially my uncle are legit and truthful GPS. We call doctors GPs in Australia, not sure what you call them in other countries? MDs? Anyway, I can't remember how many mg but I remember his script was for 15 tablets/capsules per day. I thought that was really high. His daughter, my son's aunt yelled at him one day and called him a Morphine and Oxy junkie and addict. He also take Oxycodone with the Morphine too but I'm not sure how much, but the combination if Morphine and Oxy prescribed by his dodgy doctor is excessively high.
On the few occasions he tries to reduce like 30 pills a day to a few less, he's been so bad. Shivering, sweating, aggressive, stumbling over, bumping in to furniture, super anxious, feeling pain and very sick. And this was only trying to reduce it, not come off it. He will never ever come off it.
I haven't been on Oxy, only Lyrica and Panadeine Forte which is nothing compared to Oxy.
I'm glad you realise that you need to wean off it. When addicted, it's an evil drug to be stuck and dependent on. I guess, get advice from your doctor about the process of weaning. I think you have to do it gradually and never ever cold turkey. You will feel sick, but maybe take Panadeinen Forte to help with that. If you gradually reduce your Oxy intake, it will be easier to get it out of your system and not be dependent again. Your body, emotions, work, relationships and life will improve. Eventually you won't need it and you'll be free! Also maybe have half a mg of Xanax occasionally it times of stress and crisi when you're reducing the Oxy. My relatives are doctors and know the addiction to Morphine and/or Oxycodone is awful And it's a battle to come of it, but you CAN do it. Good luck!
  #8  
Old 12-08-2012, 06:15
reetpetite reetpetite is offline
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Re: Oxycontin withdrawal - help me please

Thank you so much again, you are all so generous.

Yes, I am being seen by a pain management team. It was the specialist from there who prescribed the Oxycontin. The reason I am coming off it is because it became clear it was not helping my pain. I am not good at following doctors orders so I thought I could be clever & come off them faster than he recommended.

Because I have other chronic conditions & became ill with an acute illness, the fatigue, hot flushes etc went un-noticed for a very long time. I've actually been bed-bound 4 months in part from illness but I now realise a great part was the fatigue from WD. I became depressed, which was odd, but given i had been so long in bed again I ignored it as normal & only when the depression became all consuming, overwhelming & created these thoughts did I realise something was wrong.

I entirely blame the thoughts I've had on OC WD.

I was actually living in Aus until 18 months ago . When I moved here digesic was banned & the new GP I saw didn't know what to put me on. So even though it was just for severe headaches I was sent to the pain clinic. They diagnosed benign hypermobile joint syndrome & central sensitisation (pain). They were right but I'd managed without any meds for that for years.

I've just found out you can get digesic (equivalent - capadex/paradex) in NZ under special conditions & my new GP is prescribing it. I'm allergic to codeine, tramadol etc so it was a bit complicated.

I had 2 good weeks after my initial intense WD symptoms, but suddenly the depression hit hard again - some was self doubt but I think some was messing with my meds (trying to cut the lyrica).

I forgot to say I am on escitalopram (lexapro) - antidepressant. It's an SSRI initially prescribed for my IBS-C (irritable bowel syndrome) but the dose was upped after the death of my mother in law. It was the 3rd family death in 18 months & I was not coping. I had cut the lexapro back down since I was coping again but put it back up as I became depressed this time. I thought I was just still grieving & messed up but it was the WD & I didn't realise.

I told my GP exactly what happened & what I was thinking etc so he's onboard, but he needs kept in touch & needs to know I need help. He's actually the GP I had as a kid & teen so kind of weird but I figured why not him after my last GP was really unhelpful. She was sick of the specialist not sending her updates on the OC & management & said she would no longer prescribe it. She'd never kept track of how much I'd reduced & kept over prescribing so there were repeats left at the pharmacy that expired as I never collected them. I was pissed that she would be so unsupportive without even speaking to me about it. So I switched GP. It's much harder to do that here than it was in Aus. Over there I could see a different doc every day of the week if I wanted to.

Hey I want to say thank you especially for letting me know that my reduction goals are achievable & that I can do it. I've been reading a magazine article that came out over here (OC was only released in NZ in 2010 so we're being called "the first victims"). It did worry me a lot after reading that.

My hairdresser is an ex user & has been really supportive but I only see him every 5 weeks for 1/2 an hour or so. Plus his detox was cold turkey in a centre, so his experience is different. He's an angel though.

And my husband is such an angel. I used to do everything for him when we got together, but he's been brilliant. I do nothing, he works & takes care of the house, the cat, the worm farm, me, everything.

My Mum too is so fabulous. She's never judged me or raised an eyebrow, she knows it's not me it's the drug. She told my dad off the other night because he told some family friends that I am "addicted to some drug". She understands the difference between physical dependence & addiction.

One thing I am lucky is that I'm not addicted. I never crave it even when I'm at the very worst. I hope it stays that way. I've never been addicted to anything except sugar!

Today has been a "good" day - made easier by reading your posts.

Thank you again, I'm so touched xx (& hi to my Aussie friends )
  #9  
Old 12-08-2012, 09:16
tassadar tassadar is offline
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Re: Oxycontin withdrawal - help me please

I guess it would depend on how long you were using and what dosage. You said they have only been available since 2010 in your country so that would be less than 2 years, which is good.

I would say first get to the lowest effective Oxycodone dose possible, using the 3 week taper method mentioned in above post. I'm not sure what is available in your area, but here's what worked for someone I know who was on Oxycodone for about a year and at about 60-80mg per day. You mentioned problems after 2 weeks so maybe there were also other medications involved with what was happening with you. Physical withdrawal shouldn't last for more than 3-5 days.

You will need one 8mb Suboxone( Buprenorphine ) sublingual strip. Cut it into about 10 equal pieces. They are also available in tablet form. You may also need a 2mg xanax or another benzo to help sleep the first night. You should wait around 24 hours after your last Oxycodone dose before taking Buprenorphine, but try to wait as long as possible. Do not take before this time period because it could lead to precipitated withdrawal. Take 1/10 of the 8mg dose, and wait about 15 minutes to see if you feel better. If not, take another one. Everyone is different, but for my friend, it only took about 2/10 of a Suboxone strip. This has similar opiate effects as Oxycodone, but a much longer half life, so the dose tapers off naturally over a much longer period of time, which should mean less physical withdrawal symptoms are had. This isn't the normally prescribed method (I hear doctors around here tend prescribe this drug over a very long "maintenence" period, which leads to dependance on the Buprenorphine. In my opinion that is not ideal for someone who hasn't been a long time daily user for more than a few years.

You may need take one more portion of the strip after a few days, but that should be it as far as physical withdrawal if the Oxycodone dose was ~60-80mg per day. You shouldn't need anything else after that. My friend says after about 5 days off everything, he woke up very tired and unable to function normally. Amphetamines helped with that for a couple days but depending on your other meds, may or may not be a good idea for you.
  #10  
Old 12-08-2012, 11:29
Twizal Twizal is offline
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Re: Oxycontin withdrawal - help me please

Hello petite, you sound good. You said you were on Lexapro , another one that needs to be slowly weaned down. This is supposed to be a mild med, but some people have ugly reactions ( similar to your experience in your first post) if they stop it without weaning down. Not saying you should stop it , just wondering if you had stopped this one when you started the oxy taper?
Don't worry what anyone thinks ofyou, not important right now. Hang in there , you are going great. You must be pretty special to have that man of yours.
  #11  
Old 12-08-2012, 12:48
Aberdonian Aberdonian is offline
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Re: Oxycontin withdrawal - help me please

hi how are you, im on oxcontin but also on gabapentin,was on lyrica too but i was able to start stop using these as required for scitica even after 6 months solid use at 3.6 grams a day, the oxy itself has a disgustin filthy withdrawal, i get 2x40 oc 2x20 oc and 4x20mg ir caps a day last week id screwed up and ran short and ended up with no where near enouf contin left to do me till my refill, anyhow i woke on wed,refill ue on thurs and crushed n took 60mg of oc , by midnight i was puking ith wd , cycling round my bed soaked in sweat and really struggled to et to chemist onthurs mornin for my oxy knowing how quicly id be well , i may be different but i got no wd from lyrica or gabapentin but the oxy wd makes me go loopy !

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  #12  
Old 12-08-2012, 22:24
reetpetite reetpetite is offline
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Re: Oxycontin withdrawal - help me please

Hi again (new day here)

Thank you again. I hoped this would be the place to come & you are all so kind.

For extra info the dose I was on when started reducing was about 210mg/day.
I got to 105mg when the WD symptoms became wicked.
I'm now on 125mg (45,45,35) & haven't dropped for a while because of infection & other meds - didn't know which reaction was from dropping & which the new meds so have backed off.

I've been on the drug a bit over a year now and been cutting back for about 6 months, more or less (I haven't kept track). There's no rush, my supply is not in danger - my pain specialist is so far comfortable with everything (though I haven't heard from him since I increased). But with my GP onside I know he will prescribe it if the specialist doesn't.

Hey Twizal, I did halve my lexapro dose while I was cutting the oxy (I did it v slowly, tapering it though). But yeah, I think you're right. I think that the crisis point hit when I'd got the lexapro down to half & while also reducing OC & then I reduced pregabalin as well. The reduction of all 3 might have overloaded (underloaded?) the system.

Just knowing I can do it if I keep slow is helping me & hubby feel better about this. Beforehand both of us were terrified of me cutting another 5mg (obviously since it's contin I can't cut tabs as it's slow release & I'd mess my dose up).

I think now hubby's getting used to the idea again I'll plan to drop again within 5 -7 days (he's more scared than I am even). Will let the antibiotics do some of their job first.

I don't think I'll use any of the quick methods - if it takes 6 - 18 months, so long as I'm off it I don't care. As long as I can keep away from danger.

Thanks again xx

Last edited by reetpetite; 16-08-2012 at 01:58.
  #13  
Old 13-08-2012, 00:12
Twizal Twizal is offline
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Re: Oxycontin withdrawal - help me please

Hello petite,you are really cracking this,up you go! It might be an idea to wait until the anti-biotics are finished and add a day to make sure they are out of your system. You need to be as well as you can be while doing this. You have a mix of health issues to deal with and any extra stress on the body or mind can directly affect some of these conditions. I know it's hard, you want it over ,you are going great though so don't lose sight of your main goal. A little time now can save a long time later. Look at all the new mates you have made here, and in the future your honesty and story will help others . Give your man a hug from me and tell him he's brilliant.X

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Simply fabulous and heartfelt encouragement. A joy to read!
  #14  
Old 13-08-2012, 21:46
reetpetite reetpetite is offline
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Re: Oxycontin withdrawal - help me please

Yeah, but I couldn't have done it without your thoughts & support. I would still be scared.

Now I have moments of anxiety about it but feel ready to face it again. And feel I can beat it.

I spoke to a counsellor yesterday. They mostly dealing with benzo addiction so slightly helpful but most of the stuff I'd already got from here or had planned myself.

I did give hubby a hug from you & passed on your message . He never gets that what he is does is above & beyond. The number of people I know whose partners have cut & run well before anything like this hit - I know how lucky I am. And the little silly fella still thinks he's the lucky one *rolls eyes*.

So...I guess I'll wait a couple more days, then go for it (slowly). I'll be in touch.

Just to let you know the last 2 days have been good! And today feels like a good day too!

Thank you so much. Definitely wouldn't be managing nearly as well without the support of people here. I'm so grateful xxx

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Thanks for keeping us updated.
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Old 15-08-2012, 20:12
cockney cockney is offline
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Re: Oxycontin withdrawal - help me please

Hey Reet how are things going with you ?
If you are concerned with the next 5mg drop you can split your tablets as the contin formulation is within a special matrix throughout the tablet so splitting one in half should not mess up your dosing. I am not aware of a contin 5mg in the UK just the instant release in a gelatin cap, can you detail who makes your tablet and is it in-fact a tablet or a capsule.
Splitting a tablet isnt going to be an exact science but your safe in the knowledge if one half is a little too small and you start to feel withdrawals you can always take the other half and no harm has been done and you know for next time that you would need to be more accurate.
Please detail exactly what the pills you have are before doing this though just to be completely sure about the splitting as you dont want to be ingesting a full dose, But the coating on the contin tablets plays no part in the time release system.
I can only talk from the perspective of a cronic pain patient who for personal sanity checks cuts right down from time to time but you may find moving your dosing times around a little helps. It seems logical that a strict dosing regime and therefore a strict withdrawl onset, would become part of the overall withdrawl scenario from a psychological perrspective. I can offer no evidence or fact to back this up other than it helps a chronic pain patient here.
You may also use the words duty of care in discussions with your pain management specialist or GP should they become unresponsive and appear to not be listening to you.
Let us know how your getting on.

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thanks for the advice
Your advice to split the OxyContin tablets into smaller tabs is not necessarily true. The new OxyContin OP (US) and OxyNEO (Canada) will retain its time release mechanism if split, the old formula, still available in most of the world, will not.
  #16  
Old 16-08-2012, 00:32
reetpetite reetpetite is offline
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Re: Oxycontin withdrawal - help me please

Hi & thanks.

Cockney are you saying you can really split the oxycontin even though it's slow release...rather I gather it's part normal release & part slow release? Mundipharma is the only trade name I can see on it. It's manufactured in the UK but I can't see who by.

The counsellor I talked to on the phone the other day I thought was a bit of a numpty - she suggested crushing it & taking it in juice!!! I thought that sounded pretty stupid unless I wanted to get addicted which, naturally, I don't.

I've had 5 good days running, I'm really pleased. Today was the day I was going to start reducing the dose again, but I dropped 5mg yesterday. It's a bit tricky because hubby is nervous of me dropping & wants me to put it off & put it off, so I haven't told him, which is really bad. But it's my body & I get tired of arguing about things...that said he's the one who has to clean up the mess afterward so I do feel that it's unfair that he not know. I figure if I have anything bad happen I'll tell him then. Not good I know.

But I dropped from 125mg to 120, so I bet I don't notice it. The only thing I can say is I'm back to having trouble waking up & want to sleep all the time. I haven't had that since after the withdrawal last time. I reckon I'll be fine this afternoon but I just can't wake up this morning.

I did a hypnotherapy tape the other day (I do loads of meditation & hypnotherapy) & instead of visualising the whole 125mg as a dragon as I have been, I suddenly saw it as lots of mosquitos which I could just squish one at a time. It was a really helpful session & concept

Cockney, I think I get what you're saying. I'll ask the doc if that's his understanding (or whether he can find out) but so far the prescribing doc has not been in touch in spite of my 2 emails informing him of the situation & 1 asking for my next refill. I know he's getting them because I also email him for scripts once a month & he's done the scripts for tomorrow, according to the pharmacy. I think he's just inundated. I saw my physio yesterday & she was saying sometimes it gets too much for doctors - and physios when they've tried everything they know.

I know that 5mg is the lowest pill form available here & I was told you can't cut it...but I used to be on a liquid & I figure that would be the way to go once we get to the hard bit at the end...not sure though because it doesn't last as long as the tabs.

I know the doc meant well but I don't think I should have been put on this drug in the first place, knowing what I know now. And I think I ought to have been better informed about how long it would take to get off it & what that would involve. Especially once he said to start going off it - he said "as long as you're not getting symptoms" which I took to mean pain, seeing as that was what it was prescribed for.

I'm so grateful for the support & info I'm getting here as it has given me the confidence to do it on my own again. And I think that on my own is better than under strict doctors rules if they don't have a complete understanding.

Current plan is to reduce 5mg a week over 4 weeks, then take a 2 week break to check how I'm coping & give my body (which already has other health issues to deal with) a rest. After that, start again. Once I get to the stage I'm finding difficult to manage on the pills I have I will make sure the doctors are giving me all the information they have & all I can get from other sources.

There is a private psych centre here that runs a programme for addicts but I'm leaving that for the moment. My sister in law's brother died there (by his own hand) after going in for P addiction. So it might be better to go public as my brother & his wife and her family might find it distressing for me to be in the same place. Not to mention hubby is not too thrilled at the idea of me going there after hearing that.

I've gone on enough - I'm all good, feeling strong, not scared anymore thanks to you guys (though I'm still cautious, I don't want to think this will all be easy & stuff it up). I'm so excited to have had several good days running & yeah...what more can I say?

Thank you & massive *hugs* to you all. You've no idea how precious you & this place is to me. Best wishes all xxx

Last edited by reetpetite; 16-08-2012 at 01:56. Reason: to make things make sense
  #17  
Old 16-08-2012, 01:42
Twizal Twizal is offline
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Re: Oxycontin withdrawal - help me please

Hello flower, how s it going? It takes at least 3 days to feel effects when upping a dose , here they quite often double the dose because of the tolerance factor . Same going down. See how you go but take it to 10 days or whatever you need.you have other medical issues to consider. Your immune system is taking an extra hit as you go through this, part of your tiredness is due to this. So don't rush. Any added stress puts a bigger load on everything. It's ok to do this slowly , you have nothing to prove.
We are getting major problems here and you nailed one of the reasons.......not enough info given to patients. Or misinformation. You are not the only one going through this, but You are dealing with it so well. This will seem an impossibly long journey for you some days but look how far you have come already. I would try to be honest with hubby, but ask him to be the one to let you gently know if you are spiraling out . Make a list of behavior /symptoms that you consider indicate this. Sometimes having it in black and white helps when your mind has temporally gone for a short walk.
Cutting releases your own natural endorphins (but it's not a great way to deal with the anxiety), but at least it explains the why you are wanting to do it. When folk are using ,then detox, one of the things that causes relapse is the constant craving. You don't have this because your mindset isnt in that place but the cutting is the same thing. Watch out for this. Jump on line and tell us why you need to do it before you do.
Hang in there flower ,you can do this . Give your husband a huge hug and here's one for you. X
Just re read your post and realized I took cutting for self harm sorry I think you meant cutting down your dose. Oops!

Twizal added 20 Minutes and 39 Seconds later...

Back again, forgot to say , cutting the tablet in half if long acting ( we don't have 5mg tabs here-only short acting ones ) is usually considered not a good idea as you can get odd dosages and it can mess with the long acting component in some people. Check with your dr. As there are a few ways to deal with this. X

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Last edited by Twizal; 16-08-2012 at 01:42. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
  #18  
Old 16-08-2012, 01:53
reetpetite reetpetite is offline
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Re: Oxycontin withdrawal - help me please

Totally my mistake.

I meant reducing my dose! What a twat I am. The language - it all makes sense in my head but when I write stuff down I forget that it doesn't necessarily say what I think, or what I meant!

No, I don't self harm. Sorry for scaring you *hug*. I am a dickhead.

I think reducing the 5mg is what has caused the sleepiness today. It's no problem for me to sleep all day if I need to. Hubby just told me he wants to go to a movie at the film festival tomorrow. He loves movies but hardly ever gets to go - even though I organised his film society membership. So I just have to make sure I'm well enough for him to leave me alone for a couple of hours. I think it should be fine. At the mo the worst that can happen is I sleep through it lol.

Ok thanks, good to know it will take a few days to feel full effect. I wondered about that - I wanted to make sure that if there were any probs they'd happen over the weekend when there's less problem getting hubby to stay home. I wasn't sure whether Weds or Thurs was the best day for that. What do you think?

I originally planned to do it today but me being me, I went for it yesterday. As the dose gets smaller I won't be able to do that though. I should probably take the opportunity now to learn more self discipline. There aren't any bonus points or prizes & there could be negative effects if I rush things - well there definitely will be bad things happen if I rush - past experience tells me!

I've decided that once I get to the end & have been clear for a few weeks I will give myself a reward - I'm thinking about getting a dragon tattoo. Have never had a tattoo before.

Along the way I thought I'd get myself new piercing jewellery as small rewards. I already have the piercings, just some of them don't have anything in them at the mo.

Anyway that's just my thoughts.

Thanks lovely & I'm sorry for the stuff up - I'll edit my post to make it make sense.
  #19  
Old 17-08-2012, 03:01
reetpetite reetpetite is offline
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Re: Oxycontin withdrawal - help me please

Ooooo, I am cross!!!

I think I mentioned that the specialist prescribing the Oxy has not been in touch with me since I let him know things had gone wildly out of control, even though he usually responds quickly to email.

Today was the day to pick up my new script. I wrote to him last week to let him know what I was on after all the adjustments. He had all the information in writing. 45, 45, 35 I told him.

And today hubby picks up the scripts. And the scripts? They are for 40, 35, 35.

WTF? PLUS, instead of a script for 50mg caps of pregabalin which I asked him for, he gave me a script for valium! I am on valium, but I take hardly any - usually 1/2 of a 5mg tablet at nights. No script for pregabalin at all (fine I don't need a new script but he wanted me to reduce & I explained I got withdrawal dropping a whole 75mg at once & could I do it using smaller doses). I did not ask for valium, I don't need valium! Argh!

I think he's lost the plot. I think I'll have to go have a chat with my GP & see if he'll be happy to do my scripts instead. I can outline my plan to him & I am sure he'll be comfortable with it. He's comfortable as long as I am reducing my oxycontin.

i'm just so pissed that the doc who got me hooked on OC in the first place (by hooked I mean physical dependency) is out of contact & is way off track with my scripts.

I'm actually really pissed with him for getting me hooked on OC in the first place, though I know that was not his intention. But to muck me around now . And what's with the valium? Tempted to ask him whether he wants me to try out benzo addiction or if he'd prefer me to sell it on the street.

I won't be on that amount of OC for another fortnight. Luckily I have a stockpile from my previous GP who had no clue - but the stockpile is smaller since I had to increase after my withdrawal symptoms were so intense.

Meanwhile *deep breathes*, it's Friday here, I dropped my OC by 5mg on Weds. I do have 1 WD symptom - sleepiness. Unless you count the dream I had last night where I was trying to get out of a car & woke to find myself repeatedly pushing my husband in his side (thinking that's where the door lock was lol). So yeah, I just want to sleep all the time, which isn't too bad. I just hope that it tails off though & by mid next week I don't have it. I don't want to add more WD symptoms each time & since the doc has given me scripts for less than I need it makes me feel as though I have to successfully cut back each week to reach his target, rather than taking it at my own pace. Pressure I do not need after the episode that brought me to this site & started this thread.

It's probably an error on his behalf but since it's all by email I really don't know what to do about him. He's not responding so I have no idea what he's thinking. He's fairly ancient so maybe he did just muck up. But I find when I email him that I have to keep it really to the point because he doesn't seem to be able to take in more than 1 or two points.

I don't know. I guess I'll have to let him know that what I got was not what I was expecting, and see if he prescribes extra. I'm pretty certain I have enough to do the month anyway. But geez I don't need stress.

Sorry for the rant - and the ramble. It's just all happened & I'm frustrated & cross. There's a limit to the number of people I want to tell about my experience with OC so I didn't want to get on the email or phone to a friend about it, though I'll talk to Mum tonight if she's about. She's used to doctors & will know how best to get him on track (if possible).
  #20  
Old 22-08-2012, 08:58
reetpetite reetpetite is offline
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Re: Oxycontin withdrawal - help me please

Just a quick update, I've dropped another 5mg today. I do get withdrawal effects - I end up very very sleepy, which is fine as I just sleep.

I meditated on this & this will sound dumb, but I was seeing this whole thing as a dragon I needed to beat. In my meditation it showed me that the dragon was in fact made up of mosquitoes & all I have to do is squash one at a time. I don't know if I already mentioned this, but it's helping me.

I'm working on squashing another mosquito!

I don't think I could have done this without the support from members of this site - thank you so much lovely people.

xxxxxx
  #21  
Old 22-08-2012, 21:57
patman patman is offline
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Re: Oxycontin withdrawal - help me please

Quote:
Originally Posted by reetpetite View Post
Just a quick update, I've dropped another 5mg today. I do get withdrawal effects - I end up very very sleepy, which is fine as I just sleep.

I meditated on this & this will sound dumb, but I was seeing this whole thing as a dragon I needed to beat. In my meditation it showed me that the dragon was in fact made up of mosquitoes & all I have to do is squash one at a time. I don't know if I already mentioned this, but it's helping me.

I'm working on squashing another mosquito!

I don't think I could have done this without the support from members of this site - thank you so much lovely people.

xxxxxx
Just to mention a few things on this post plus the one you wrote previously.

First of all, the "dragon" or rather now "mosquitos" that your mind has created as manifestations of the oxycodone is an excellent way to think of what you will defeat. Personally (and perhaps you as well) I have always had a hard time really truly accepting/admitting to myself that my entire life revolved around being weaker than a tiny pill and how I felt completely powerless to something that seemed so insignificant (but never is as we all know). The fact that you already meditate is a great sign that you have control over your thoughts enough to slow them down and focus on your unwanted dependence without going crazy with worry and fear. I'm not saying that it hasn't been hard, you and I (along with anyone who has battled addiction and/or dependence) both know how hard it can be and the feelings that reside in us can sometimes make us feel worse than we actually are. But hell, if you can personally own your own issue and take responsibility for the mosquitos you are fighting then that leads me to believe that you will have the mental strength to beat this, even when you might hurt. More power to you my friend. Seriously, I wish I could have done this when I had to taper oxy the first time.

I have some personal experience with dependence on oxycodone. I never felt I was mentally addicted to my medication. I took them for several back injuries. But man, when my doc suggested we try a taper, I severely underestimated how painful it was gonna be. From reading your posts, my taper looks like it may have been faster. However, the lesson remains true. I went from two 60mg Oxycontin and six 15mg Roxicodone (The total amount being 220mg a day and based on a taper that was designed to last 4 weeks) to 2 60mg OC's and 3 roxis, then still 2 60mg OC and 1 Roxi and by the forth week I was at only 2 60mg OC. While 120mg of oxycodone a day may not seem like a big drop to some, I had been taking 220mg a day for over two years. Every week of the taper I started feeling like I was dying more and more on the inside and outside.

By the forth week, my back was hurting so bad I couldn't walk up the simple stairs in my house without having to stop and rest my back/leg (sciatic nerve pain was also an issue). I was always feeling cold, achey, stiff and I felt like I wasn't even getting any relief from my meds. My mind also started to feel like a trap. I was depressed and anxious all the time. I never wanted to leave my house, I felt like I was pathetic and broken. I regretted ever taking any medication and was furious with myself and my doctor for originally never having any qualms with my ever escalating dose of oxycodone. Needless to say, it was not a good time and I'm sure you can relate and my heart goes out to you over this.

As far as your post about picking up your prescription and being frustrated over the addition of more Valium, I'll suggest something. I do not know what your prescription is for, but if you can take the benzos up to a certain extent carefully, It might seriously help you with your taper. I know the last thing you need is a benzo dependence too, so if you can take it only when the taper gets bad enough that you feel like you wont make it, it would probably do more good than harm.

Bottom line, (and I apologize for the lengthy post, I tend to personally get my own emotions involved in matters like this, and it clearly leads to a lengthy reply) You can do this, and everyone here believes in you. I gain faith for humanity every time I see that a persons day gets even a little better from the care and support the members of this forum give. It would also really help to make sure you are surrounded by people that love you and show you compassion wherever you may be when things get really hard. The times that were always the hardest for me during my taper were when I had a bad day at school or work and everything seemed to just pile up. It usually brought on a fucking horrible feeling of being alone. If I had known that I wasn't really alone, it wouldn't have been as hopeless. You have to let the people you also love know what is going on and look to them to give you the hug, support or just the extra time out of the day to just be with you. My last honest though, I nor anyone else can promise that there won't be days where you want to give up the fight, but I can promise that the people here or in your life will do the most we can to show you you're not alone.

love and concern,
Dante (yes my name isn't pat, but this is personal... or something I guess.)

pm me if you need anything.

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  #22  
Old 27-08-2012, 05:21
reetpetite reetpetite is offline
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Re: Oxycontin withdrawal - help me please

I read your message the other day & wanted so much to say thank you - I was really sick & had nothing else to add to what I'd said already so I left it. But now I'd really like to say thank you so much. It meant a lot, and thanks especially for sharing your own story.

I wanted to come on & give an update. I've just finished squashing another mosquito (2 down, 23 to go). This one was much harder than the first. I don't think it was helped by the fact that I completely forgot to take my night time OC dose on the Thurs, having dropped 5mg on the Weds.

So on Weds I felt a bit sleepy, on Thurs, same with a bit of pain etc, Friday I felt really fine. Then Saturday came along & OMG. Nowhere near the sickest I've ever been on this journey but awful. Yesterday (Sunday) wasn't flash either & today I am beginning to feel human - just about in time to drop the next dose.

I'm a bit worried about the next one as I've been dropping 5mg on Weds. This Weds hubby flies out to inter his Mums ashes , and on Thurs my brother comes into town for work & to stay for the weekend (luckily with my parents & not with us). But I really want to enjoy seeing him & not be in awful withdrawal the whole time he's down. That said, I also don't want to stop this for any reason. I want to keep pushing. One of those traits that always gets me in trouble.

If anyone can share any thoughts - did missing that dose really mess me up that much? And what should I do when I've got other stuff on, like visitors etc?

Thank you all so much for the support. I can't believe I get more here than from anywhere.
Love to you all xxx
  #23  
Old 27-08-2012, 05:58
Twizal Twizal is offline
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Re: Oxycontin withdrawal - help me please

Hello flower, first you are doing great, you sound so much stronger now. You have a few days before your brother comes and who knows you may be having an ok day then. If not , have an excuse to leave or go out you can use if you feel crappy. Migraines are good ?!
Does your bro know anything about your situation? Brothers can be amazingly supportive. If he isn't aware only you know him ,and it could be bad timing to tell him while you are still going through wds though. Just a thought .hang in there ,huge hug X
  #24  
Old 27-08-2012, 07:24
baZING baZING is offline
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Re: Oxycontin withdrawal - help me please

I just want to pop in with a quick suggestion!

It sounds as though you are incredibly sensitive to withdrawals. You're doing great so far, really great. What I'm about to suggest would mean extending the process a little longer but it might be helpful given how sensitive you are to symptoms of WD.

Even though I read this whole thing I'm not 100% sure what dose you're on right this moment, but it doesn't matter in terms of my suggestion. If you ask me, as you get down to even lower doses than you are on right now, you should consider an even smaller decrease (if possible). You may need to switch over to immediate release to get the correct dose and take them multiple times a day to last for a whole 24 hours, but it may make you more comfortable.

The reason I suggest switching to a slower taper near the end is because as you get to lower mg amounts, the percentage you drop off becomes greater, and thus can still cause a great deal of discomfort and misery despite the total dose being smaller.

I am using these numbers purely as example. Say someone was on 40mg per day and began to taper. They decide to go down by 5mg. That's a 12.5% decrease in dose, not too bad. By the time they get down to 20mg per day and are comfortable on that dose and decrease by another 5mg, it's a 25% decrease in dose. That's a big jump, and the bigger the jumps, the more you MAY feel it. Some people find that they can continue to decrease by the same mg amount throughout and have no problems. Some find what I described, that towards the end it gets rough as the percentage is bigger.

I know you're only decreasing by 5mg as is so you could only go down to 2.5mg at a time in terms of decrease. Even though the immediate release oxycodone only last 3-6 hours for pain, they SHOULD last for up to 12 hours if not more just to stave off withdrawals during a taper. I don't think you're there yet, but once you get to the 15mg range or so you could consider asking your GP about this thought and what he thinks. I'm not a doctor, it's just something I know can sometimes help. It's probably worth trying to stick to the 5mg decrease at first, anyway, and keep this thought in your back pocket if it starts to get sticky again.

Anyway, that's all. So glad you found DF and you're getting so much good advice. Keep up the good work, you're doing so well!
  #25  
Old 27-08-2012, 08:52
reetpetite reetpetite is offline
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Re: Oxycontin withdrawal - help me please

You're glad I found DF - how do you think I feel lol!! Such a relief!

I'm so lucky. I have no idea what could have happened to me but I know what did happen & it was pretty F bad.

Just to be clear, the doc put me up to about 200 (I think 210)mg/day of OC. On my own I dropped down to 105 before I went into that really nasty withdrawal where I, well, it's all written here. I found I had to increase 20mg to stabilise (keeping in mind I'd been dropping 5mg every 3-4 days). That stopped me from being mental anymore.

So at 125mg I had a break while I got "un-mental" & found out as much as I could while getting my strength back, educating my husband & Mum.

Then a couple of weeks ago I started dropping the dose again - I'm currently on 115 & due to drop to 110mg on Weds.

You are right about my sensitivity to meds. I have various medical problems including hypogammaglobulinemia (a messed up immune system) & am on antibiotics for sinusitis as a result of that. I have a bunch of other illnesses, Spondlyoarthropathy, "Benign" Hypermobile Joint Disorder (aka EDS III), chronic pain, chronic fatigue syndrome - take a pick basically. And yeah I do react really strongly to chemical changes.

As you say 5mg is the smallest dose I can get in the contin, I'll have to switch to oxycodone at some point - probably oxynorm since it's liquid & I can take the dose as small as needed really. Gosh to think that 18 months ago I used to ask to be prescribed OC as ON so I could cut the dose down as small as possible without having to muck around with chopping up pills.

Yes, I did tell my brother about my "issues". We get on well. I haven't told my sister & my dad doesn't really know what's going on (he told some family friends "*reetpetite* is addicted to some drug...". Good one. Yeah. I'm not ashamed, it's just the misunderstanding. I haven't gone into full detail with everyone - not everyone knows about the psychosis & suicide ideations. That's a bit much to tell.

I definitely get the percentages thing - that as the overall dose gets smaller the amount I drop will be a bigger percentage. I really hope it was the missed dose that made me worse over the weekend. Before that I'd been saying to hubby - oh maybe I can keep dropping back for 6 weeks & then have a break...But then I got hit with this & I'm wondering how on earth I can keep doing 4 weeks before a break (I know I'm setting my own rules at the moment - tho' by mucking up my prescription the specialist has kinda put the thumbscrews on, unintentionally). I used to have heaps of stockpiled OC to the point where I didn't even collect the scripts from the pharmacy anymore & they would expire - a dumb GP (general practise doctor) who didn't pay attention. But the doc I changed to is a bit more hard arsed (which is partly why I picked him - I trust him more).

By the way, over the last week or so I also dropped back pregabalin - I was on a dose of 225mg but managed to drop to 150mg. I couldn't get hold of my doc to prescribe smaller doses so I had to reduce by a whole capsule. I was 58kgs before they put me on it & am now 85kg (5 months!!!). Cruel that it works so well for the pain but it has such hideous side effects. Last night the pain was really bad so I took an extra one but other than that I'm just taking the lower dose.

So maybe reducing more than one thing might have contributed...(probably!)

Argh, sorry I just realised I'm just rambling!

Hopefully this week goes better, and this one was just a blip. I've set the alarm in my phone to remind me to take the night time pills now as well as the afternoon dose, hopefully no more mistakes. It's so easy though - this morning I found I'd filled my box (I use a weekly dosette box for my pills) but had only put in 1/2 the amount of my SSRI (lexapro). I don't know if that was all week or only Mon & Tues. If it was all week that could really have mucked me up as SSRIs need to be very slowly tapered.

I just found out I see my pain specialist in a week. That should be an interesting meeting.

I just have to say "thank you, thank you, thank you!". I don't know how to express my gratitude enough for your time, energy & support. You're just completely brilliant xxx

PS, sorry, I just had to come back to say, sometimes I think how close I came to not being here, by my own hand, not so many weeks ago & I just cry. I know I wasn't myself at the time but when I realise I could be gone & with a husband who has recently lost both of his parents...But at least now I am back, and I *hope* I know what to look for - I have to be humble about this because I have no idea what form symptoms will take when they come. I just hope I will know things are not as they ought to be & will be able to get help. Hubby has all emergency numbers plus my permission to put me into hospital/get me arrested/whatever if he has to. Because I don't know who I'll be if I go into WD like that again. Scary.

Last edited by reetpetite; 27-08-2012 at 09:35.

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