Am i addicted?+ questions on withdrawel...

[Fantasian]

It all started last August when i got appendictus(sp) was rushed into hospital and the nurse there gave me an injection of morphine, she injected it what i now know to be way too fast. Ill never forget it, that orgasm that raced up my my spine and lasted for nearly a whole minute. Followed by that warm, 'nothing can hurt me feeling'. I remember waking from the operation thinking, i am gonna search for this for the rest of my life.

After my operation i began to get abdominal pain which rapidly got worse, still noone knows today whatcauses it. It did however allow me to proceed down the opiate path. Firstly codeine, then tramadol, the hydrocodone, then morphine. Finally i had achieved my goal.

Diagnosis after diagnosis revealed that there seemed nothing wrong with my physically yet still i suffered from massive abdominal pain that had me crying on the floor in pain. Numerous times (i have lost count but over 50) i was rushed into hospital and given morphine IV.

A little more down the line where i am now, i am prescribed oral morphine to deal with the pain but its already too late. I feel sick all the time and i cant sleep and im always tired. I feel like i need that rush and the feeling. Im strong willed enough to not take the oral morphine but i long to be in hospital again. Ive faked the pain before i could do it again so easily and get it all so easily.

Im so lost on what to do, im a student and yet mylife already is being ripped from my grasp by drugs.

Then other times im not even sure i am addicted, i crave the feeling of a drug yes but not nesserily an opiate, id be quite happy to go to hospital and have a 100mg cyclizine injection which is an anti-emetic. It's almost like i crave being intoxicated with something particularly IV.

Thats my story....

Any words of wisdom are welcome and please help answering the few questions that follow.

1) Do the following symptoms sound like a withdrawel from opiates?
Headaches,
shaking (like shivering)
Inability to sleep
Craving of intoxication
constant sickness
tenseness and anxeity

2) How long does withdrawel last? and while on this topic where is the best place to obtain accurate information on withdrawel (i dont think this counts as a source if it does please dont post on here)

Reputation Comments on this post:

	touching personal account. tnx for sharing. good luck!
	good explanation
	You can do it mate, just find that balance, but again, be careful of the psycholocgically addictive stuff(ket) they can ...