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  #1  
Old 01-07-2012, 01:12
Somniferabbit Somniferabbit is offline
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Can a meth addict have a successful relationship?

I'm not sure if this is in the right category, but here it goes. I'm totally in love with a fellow who I will call "Joey" (I've talked about him on here before). Sadly, he's been hooked on the crystal for a while now...I've read a lot of horror stories about meth addicts and what they've done to their partners, but Joey is possibly one of the most passive people I've ever met (even on the tweak). I personally don't use meth (and never will), but a rabbit I know has used a lot of painkillers and is growing opium for pain management.

Anyway, if some of you could provide some insight for me, I'd appreciate it. I'd like to hear from both swimmers in meth and partners of addicts--details would be appreciated (sex, fidelity, abuse, love, etc.). I guess you can't pick who you love, really, and I know Joey is SUPER lonely... I feel for him, because my heart is very huge, and I HATE to see such a beautiful person disintegrate before my eyes, you know..? Bah, maybe I'm a fool... please help?
  #2  
Old 02-07-2012, 23:18
corse32 corse32 is offline
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Re: Can a meth addict have a successful relationship?

It sounds like you're basically concerned about things that will depend entirely on the person in question.

I would give a couple of general tips, as I see things:

1) The PRIMARY factor in determining any outcomes from using is the *person* taking the meth, not the drug. Where they end up will be a result of both, but IME their underlying personality is still at the controls.

A borderline psychotic may well go over the line after a week long meth bender, he could also easily have nutted out while drinking whiskey for 3 days, or being in the Army for a few years, who the fuck knows? he's a Psycho!

A big teddy bear who likes to play the guitar with his pals for days on end while chuffing away and joking around, well maybe he just gets tired for a few days, and forgets to do his washing for the coming week at work... you get my point - The only way to REALLY see how it's affecting your friend is to spend a whole lot of time with him, BE HIS FRIEND, and see what makes him "tick".

You'll see what he gets out of using, if anything, what he's focused on achieving / dreaming of doing, and also maybe get a sense of how he views himself, his prospects, and his lifestyle.

Some people have more developed coping skills, they could deal with all the stuff meth brings proactively; use the time awake to achieve a complex goal, or brainstorm (aka talk shit) with other motivated peeps… They might develop ways to counteract the sleeplessness effects (it's been shown that in general people make MEASURABLY WORSE decisions when they've been up too long) and function highly within their addiction,

If he's a good guy, then he's a good guy, in my completely unqualified opinion - meth might turn him into a pile of wasted potential, but it won't turn him into a bad guy.

If he has some underlying personality problems, then it might exacerbate them, so I guess it might be hard to tell… I don't know how well you know him, or your ability to evaluate people.

Being super lonely might not be a good place for a meth-head - if he's someone who needs social contact to "live", not a well practiced loner. Being up for hours by yourself might be hard going for someone looking inwardly… If he's keeping himself busy, waiting to make some new friends, then maybe he's fine with it.

Use common sense.

corse32 added 2 Minutes and 6 Seconds later...

lol, so to summarise my answer to your question is "yes"

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Caring and informative answer.

Last edited by corse32; 02-07-2012 at 23:18. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
  #3  
Old 04-07-2012, 05:17
Somniferabbit Somniferabbit is offline
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Re: Can a meth addict have a successful relationship?

Thank you for your answer...I was beginning to think that no one would reply to this thread. Your explanations are really concise and I appreciate you taking the time to give them to me. Yes, Joey is a death metal drummer (and he's breathtakingly good), and he's EXTREMELY quiet, shy, and reclusive. He's also had a lot of emotional trauma in his life, but essentially he started up the dope because he was in the metal scene around here, and metal is synonymous with drugs (at least, it is here). He chose to use, and in that sense, it is his fault, but well, meth's claws are sharp and barbed.

I want to talk to him about his addiction, but well, as a lot of addicts are, he tends to get a bit touchy about it whenever it's brought up. Not many meth addicts are proud of their shackles, after all. My dad was hooked on that shit for about five-six years, but he's kicked the habit and has been clean for eight... I just want to tell Joey about him, so that maybe he can see that meth is NOT invincible and he can be free of it...

Anyway, thank you again for your answer; I'm very grateful.
  #4  
Old 04-07-2012, 05:55
Sargent Leper Sargent Leper is offline
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Re: Can a meth addict have a successful relationship?

Hey Somniferabbit,
I know you don't want to hear this but, I really think it's best if you stay away. Obviously I know nothing about you or him but I think you should quit before things get bad.
If I were you I would tell him how you feel and that you care about him a lot but (as you said) your not gonna sit around and watch him fade away. Try to get him help. It's a bitch to kick but it can be done and if he's worth having you, he'll clean up.
Now I am an addict myself. Heroin is my thing, though I did go through a meth phaze. The thing is, Meth will always come first to him. Again I dont know him or his particular situation but if he is anything like most addicts I know things will get ugly. I'm not talking about physical abuse, which I hope never happens to you, but it's the mental shit, trust issues, etc.
The last girlfriend I had while I was using I put through hell. I constantly lied to hear. I stole her ATM card and withdrew hundreds from her account. Pawned gifts she gave me. It's like cheating on someone in a way.
He will always have this "mistress", and I cannot say this enough, you will always come second.
Good Luck and I hope things work out for both of you

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  #5  
Old 04-07-2012, 22:24
molly molly is offline
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Re: Can a meth addict have a successful relationship?

his problems with his emotional trauma need to be addressed before his addiction can be controlled. don't ask him to quit any time soon, work on getting to the root of his addiction. ask why he uses. ask him if he is open to seeing a psychiatrist to find a less destructive way to deal with his problems. ask him if he is open to going to na meetings. dont come off as aggressive or demanding. dont try to be his reason to quit, he needs to find a reason to quit for himself. ask him if hes ever thought about quitting or if he would ever consider quitting. meth was around much longer than you have, so just like people, meth is who he will trust the most right now. its helped him for five years and who are you to tell him he doesnt need it after all this time? its easy to give up and move on, but someone has to be the better influence in his life and if you think you have the strength to stand strong and help him fight this addiction, be there for him and dont give up. if you don't have what it takes, stop now before you get yourself into something that you weren't ready to deal with. its really not worth it, unless you are fully prepared to do what it takes.
  #6  
Old 04-07-2012, 23:53
profesor profesor is offline
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Re: Can a meth addict have a successful relationship?

I just read a similar post about someone dating a coke addict, and answered like this: Recovery involves re-examining one's life (including "Making a fearless and searching moral inventory") And it is nearly impossible to do that while staying in a relationship. Somniferabbit, you didn't mention if you were together before his addiction started, but if not, he wouldn't know how to be with you while completely sober. Not only for yourself should you seriously think about leaving, but understand that separating may be an essential step for him to quit substance abuse. I wish it didn't usually work that way, but that's what addiction counselors have told me, and from friends went through, it seems to be true.
  #7  
Old 05-07-2012, 01:11
Makeup_Junkie Makeup_Junkie is offline
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I've talked about my boyfriend a bajillion times on the forum and I've always said the same thing. To sum up my experience, he helped me quit my drug of choice. For two solid months, I was actively using and he was the reason I decided to quit. Maybe if Joey feels the same way about you that you do for him, maybe he'll make the decision to quit. However, like others have said, while he's actively using, the drug will always come first. I love my boyfriend more than life itself but when I was using, my drug always came first despite my love for my boyfriend. Maybe you could have a talk with him and see if he's ready to take that step and quit. If he's not ready to quit, you might have to end the relationship, but then again, every situation is different. I wish you all the best and I just don't want to see you get hurt over him and his drug use.
  #8  
Old 13-07-2012, 02:43
Somniferabbit Somniferabbit is offline
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Re: Can a meth addict have a successful relationship?

Many thanks and blessings to you all for your kind responses. I've done some research, scary research, into meth use. It sort of arms me to go into battle with this addiction of his. I know what to say, what NOT to say, and well, I guess no one is really 100% prepared for what's to come, but at least I have some of an idea. Joey is a person who feels things very deeply, and the meth masks those feelings. He's had a lot of sadness in his life, and he just can't handle feeling it. Sadly, meth sort of acts like compound interest, you know? I admit, I love him so much, so fucking much. If I had a wand to shake and make all that go away, but alas, the only one who can really help him is...him. I know he's tried to quit, but well, I don't know...he hasn't really had a good support system during those times. I want to help him any way I can. I might be a fool on a fool's errand, but I don't care. I love him...and if it's a mistake...well...it is a mistake that I will have to make for myself. Hey, at least I'm poor and don't have anything of monetary value in my home for him to take, haha! And all my gifts to him would be art, so...no pawning that. Thank you all again so very much for this.

@Makeup_Junkie: Thank you so much for telling me your story...it sort of gives me hope. <3 You have all my respect for everything you did to get clean. For REAL.
  #9  
Old 16-07-2012, 21:34
Makeup_Junkie Makeup_Junkie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Somniferabbit View Post
Many thanks and blessings to you all for your kind responses. I've done some research, scary research, into meth use. It sort of arms me to go into battle with this addiction of his. I know what to say, what NOT to say, and well, I guess no one is really 100% prepared for what's to come, but at least I have some of an idea. Joey is a person who feels things very deeply, and the meth masks those feelings. He's had a lot of sadness in his life, and he just can't handle feeling it. Sadly, meth sort of acts like compound interest, you know? I admit, I love him so much, so fucking much. If I had a wand to shake and make all that go away, but alas, the only one who can really help him is...him. I know he's tried to quit, but well, I don't know...he hasn't really had a good support system during those times. I want to help him any way I can. I might be a fool on a fool's errand, but I don't care. I love him...and if it's a mistake...well...it is a mistake that I will have to make for myself. Hey, at least I'm poor and don't have anything of monetary value in my home for him to take, haha! And all my gifts to him would be art, so...no pawning that. Thank you all again so very much for this.

@Makeup_Junkie: Thank you so much for telling me your story...it sort of gives me hope. <3 You have all my respect for everything you did to get clean. For REAL.
I'm so glad I could help. It's hard dating an addict. Though I was on the opposite end you are on now, I understand my boyfriend's frustration when I was using now that I'm clean. The whole "I'll get clean in one more month. Just one more month!" God, I put him through hell and he still stayed with me because he loved me. In some situations, love conquers all, and like I said before, I wish you all the best in your journey to help Joey. I hope he can realize that you are more important than some stupid drug. If you ever need to PM me just to talk, I'm here. I'm on here quite often so I can get back to you quickly. ::
  #10  
Old 16-07-2012, 22:32
alienesseINspace alienesseINspace is offline
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Re: Can a meth addict have a successful relationship?

Greetings!

I do not think that it is possible to have a successful relationship while having a meth addiction. Drug addicts can often find it hard to find their emotional compass. I watched a former roommate struggle with cocaine and meth. She did not have any luck in relationships namely because she was inconsistent with how she viewed her partners. Although you may be able to cope with someone's addiction, the person you're dating may not be able to assess the relationship accurately.

Also, people who use will often feel alienated if their partner does not. Are you feeling any sort of distance due to not using meth while your partner does? Do you notice a difference in behavior from your partner when meth isn't being used?

I would be really hesitant of investing emotion into something that has a statistically high probability of going wrong beyond repair. In the case of my ex-roomie, she would often have sex binges and then tell her partner it was the drug's fault. When she stole my rent money, again, it was meth's fault...

Certainly, it is your decision if it's a risk worth taking.
  #11  
Old 05-09-2012, 04:42
chaosisbeauty chaosisbeauty is offline
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Re: Can a meth addict have a successful relationship?

I wouldnt say my pet hedgehog is a METH addict per say but she is a drug addict and its caused much stress in all her relationships. She doesnt let people in at all anymore because she refuses to let anyone drown with her. As much as she loved her ex she couldnt ever stay clean for him. Mostly because she didnt want to do it for herself so why do it for someone else. I've wondered a million times if she'll ever have a healthy relationship with doing drugs. She'll probably never quit using really. I hope you guys can work it out. Just dont get sucked down with him. My hedgehog kinda has this idea that anyone with a drug user ultimately either turns into a user themselves or cant deal with the stress anymore and leaves.
  #12  
Old 31-10-2012, 06:14
squid squid is offline
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Re: Can a meth addict have a successful relationship?

I'm in the same boat. We've been together for a few months... I knew she used prior, but had no idea how much until recently... or rather, I did but chose to ignore it until now because I was blinded by the awesome sex and good company in general. However, this last month has been rough. We're at the point where we spend at least 5 nights a week with one another. Obviously I'm going to notice more and she's going to find the need to sneak off or show up late so she can do her thing. Finally told her she needed to clean up if she wants this to go any further.

She says she wants a long term and stable relationship. She says she'll quit for me (what a horrible thing to tell someone... no need to tell me how bad that is), but she a plan to quit when I first met her over a year ago. She doesn't want to do any treatment (she attended NA for friend once and knows what its about). I guess we'll see if she can stick with it this time... I'm trying to be patient and non demanding. I'm fully aware you can't make someone quit or even pressure them into it. She's either going to do it or she isn't. If she chooses meth over me... well... sucks to be me.

I've been best friends with a number of tweakers so she won't be able to lie about it. I don't expect her to quit cold, but I do expect her to ramp it down. My hope is that she'll eventually get into counseling. I will say she's never stolen anything from me or asked me for money. None of my old friends did either. I personally think the stereotype is overblown and has more to do a particular person and how much they're using. Sure, at some point too much of anything will totally fuck your mind and morals. However, at that point they're likely to be jobless and living off of someone else. She's doing neither and she knows I'd never put up with that.

But fuck, I love her so much. I foresee a lot of heartache ahead. I asked her the other day what one thing would she want most in the next year of her life... and she said a "stable long term relationship". It made me happy to hear, but it also made me sad she didn't say "quit meth". I didn't have the heart to say that one would not happen without the other.

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  #13  
Old 19-11-2012, 02:29
squirrel36 squirrel36 is offline
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Re: Can a meth addict have a successful relationship?

Swim would be wrong not to reply to this post. Even though it's a few months Old and don't know the status of you and this guy. I hate to say but please stay away. Trust swim. Swim was a great guy with a big heart to love, swim just wanted to be loved. Never done drugs in he's life never wanted or even dreamed of it. Swim did struggle thru life but always knew the positive outcome in any situation. Anyways, let's just say swim was a guy of rare breeds. He was in it for all the right reasons. Until he meet he's bf... Now swim isn't trying to bash on he's bf or anything but swim meet him n was very attracted to him. He had great qualities in him and he would do so much for swim for no reason. However swim didn't know how bad of a meth addict he was until he moved in with him... Swim has only himself to blame, Bcuz after 8 months of living together and being and being and crying for him to s stop he never did..which made swim so curious to know why he wouldn't give it up.so tried it behind he's back....a month later, swim has now been doing it daily with he's bf and finds himself so disputed and ashamed of himself. Swim wants to stop so bad but doesn't seem like he can. Only way he can think of stopping is to really give up on he's bf...so for you swim is telling you please gold strong and do what's right. Don't give in..u seem like a very nice lady and I'm sure very pretty. So id say don't settle, find the guy who's right. Please..

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  #14  
Old 28-11-2012, 03:47
Somniferabbit Somniferabbit is offline
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Re: Can a meth addict have a successful relationship?

Thank you,everyone, for replying to this post. It is a bit old, yes, but things have changed a little. I told Joey how I felt about him, but he was of the mind, at least, that he cannot date anyone at this point in his life. I made a beautiful drawing that was a metaphor of his addiction...I was so scared that he might be offended, but he said words couldn't describe his gratitude. I'll be his friend and I still love him very much, but well, that's where it ends. I wish the best of luck to you all who are dealing with similar situations. I'm also getting a pug on Saturday, and nothing beats a loving friend to keep your spirits up! *sigh* Still single...
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Old 28-11-2012, 04:50
trdofbeingtrd trdofbeingtrd is offline
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Re: Can a meth addict have a successful relationship?

Quote:
Originally Posted by corse32 View Post
If he's a good guy, then he's a good guy, in my completely unqualified opinion - meth might turn him into a pile of wasted potential, but it won't turn him into a bad guy.

If he has some underlying personality problems, then it might exacerbate them, so I guess it might be hard to tell… I don't know how well you know him, or your ability to evaluate people.
I am not meaning this as a challenge to what you wrote (in fact I think it was pretty damned good) or to say that you are wrong. I would agree to this up to a point and please feel free to reply back because I could be wrong.

I have known a LOT of people both close and in passing who used drugs (meth in specific for this thread) and I myself have the experience I lived through as a methamphetamine user for years and now as an ex meth user for years. I would say that for the most part what you put down is correct, sound, and it seems that at the core of a person is true.

However, while maybe the core of a person would always stay the same (if they were a good person then they would still be a good person and the meth don't change who they are, I do think that it's possible for after many many years of abuse, they could change to not be a good person anymore.

It seems that you are saying that the meth does not change a person or at least who they really are. So if you are a good person, you are not all the sudden a psycho. It's more of if you let yourself change into a bad person but with meth (other drugs as well, but meth is a major substance for this instance), if you can accept doing bad things to people and toss away that part of you that feels guilt to a certain point, I do believe it's possible to change for good. I have known a couple people that at one time were basically honest good people and through major abuse and them letting things they did wrong to continue, they were not the same even after they stopped using meth.

Do you know what I mean? Do you disagree?

Again, your reply was great. To the OP, please don't let what I am saying shadow this members reply to you, it was a really good reply. I just think this is a valid debate because as I said, I could be wrong, and to not hi-jack the thread, if you want to talk about this further I can make a new thread about it.

Welcome to Drugs-forum both of you
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Old 28-11-2012, 16:19
molly molly is offline
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Re: Can a meth addict have a successful relationship?

Quote:
Originally Posted by trdofbeingtrd View Post
I am not meaning this as a challenge to what you wrote (in fact I think it was pretty damned good) or to say that you are wrong. I would agree to this up to a point and please feel free to reply back because I could be wrong.

I have known a LOT of people both close and in passing who used drugs (meth in specific for this thread) and I myself have the experience I lived through as a methamphetamine user for years and now as an ex meth user for years. I would say that for the most part what you put down is correct, sound, and it seems that at the core of a person is true.

However, while maybe the core of a person would always stay the same (if they were a good person then they would still be a good person and the meth don't change who they are, I do think that it's possible for after many many years of abuse, they could change to not be a good person anymore.

It seems that you are saying that the meth does not change a person or at least who they really are. So if you are a good person, you are not all the sudden a psycho. It's more of if you let yourself change into a bad person but with meth (other drugs as well, but meth is a major substance for this instance), if you can accept doing bad things to people and toss away that part of you that feels guilt to a certain point, I do believe it's possible to change for good. I have known a couple people that at one time were basically honest good people and through major abuse and them letting things they did wrong to continue, they were not the same even after they stopped using meth.

Do you know what I mean? Do you disagree?

Again, your reply was great. To the OP, please don't let what I am saying shadow this members reply to you, it was a really good reply. I just think this is a valid debate because as I said, I could be wrong, and to not hi-jack the thread, if you want to talk about this further I can make a new thread about it.

Welcome to Drugs-forum both of you
I believe that a good dose of LSD or shrooms can turn a bad person into something good, so I would have to disagree that drugs can change a person permanently. The only truth is that some people do change permanently, because they do not want to change, or are not influenced by the right people or things.

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  #17  
Old 09-09-2013, 11:55
squid squid is offline
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Re: Can a meth addict have a successful relationship?

Quote:
Originally Posted by squid View Post
She's either going to do it or she isn't. If she chooses meth over me... well... sucks to be me.

...

However, at that point they're likely to be jobless and living off of someone else. She's doing neither and she knows I'd never put up with that.

...

But fuck, I love her so much. I foresee a lot of heartache ahead. I asked her the other day what one thing would she want most in the next year of her life... and she said a "stable long term relationship". It made me happy to hear, but it also made me sad she didn't say "quit meth". I didn't have the heart to say that one would not happen without the other.
Well, nearly a year later and I had no clue how right I would be. At least I knew what to expect. Suffice to say things are much worse for her as well as myself. Things were getting better for me, but unfortunately all the energy I put into trying to make things work was at the expense of nearly everything else.

I wish I could say I did everything thing right and have been the better person the whole time, but unfortunately it isn't so. I've watched her turn into a hurt woman with a lot of hope, to a generally negative and bitter person. We're still together, but I'm at a complete loss.
  #18  
Old 11-10-2013, 01:35
mkultra402 mkultra402 is offline
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Re: Can a meth addict have a successful relationship?

I tried for 3 years to love a meth head.
I thought I could love him enough to persuade him into sobriety.. not a chance..
I bet you wish the good times could outweigh the bad, but eventually, meth is like another person, a girl that fucks him and doesn't say anything before/after. Meth especially, ever try to be a close or good friends with a meth user? They don't really mean to be awful, addiction is a disease, but meth just changes people into unreliable liars.
Good luck getting the monkey off your back.
Love yourself first, do what you know is right.
  #19  
Old 13-10-2013, 03:02
ReynoldWrappin ReynoldWrappin is offline
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Re: Can a meth addict have a successful relationship?

Ricky Bobby feels same way. He just shuts everybody out for fear theyll see who he really is and doesn't want to lead them on, all the while lying and manipulating to keep his crystal habit going. Also we have to remeber, The ice takes away users personality and their personal traits that make them themselves.

Kinda hard to love someone when truly they dont even know who they are, or how they even used to be. Meth makes for a mentally wearing addiction
  #20  
Old 17-10-2013, 06:05
corona corona is offline
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Re: Can a meth addict have a successful relationship?

Please do NOT take the following as advice but I have a friend who is in a loving committed relationship (3+ years) with a meth addict and she wouldn’t trade it for the world! However, she is an addict as well so theres that factor… But in general I believe (and my friend has seen from experience) that it really is the person underneath the drugs not the drugs themselves. Drugs can really bring out a side of someone you never would have seen otherwise and very possibly never wanted to see but it’s still that person, not the drug. She doesn’t agree with the people who say that meth robs you of your personality and inevitably turns you into a thief and a liar… well maybe a liar… but who knows you might have been a liar already! It is possible to an emotionally gratifying, caring, mutually respectful relationship with an addict and the sex is incredible (or so I’m told).
There is always the feeling that they’re slipping through your fingers though and that maybe you’re watching the one thing you love most in the world self destruct and you’re so scared you won’t be able to stop him so… if you can’t beat um join um? Just don’t have kids.
Thats what my friend did anyway….
  #21  
Old 20-10-2013, 14:15
twkkhore twkkhore is offline
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Re: Can a meth addict have a successful relationship?

IME it's never worth trying. I loved a meth addict who had a disturbing childhood. Mom was heroine junkie and she saw it all. I was her best friend and tried my best to just love her. After we hooked up I noticed that things became really off. Long storh short she would lie, steal, and ditch her kids to get high. She would stay up for days having brutal sex (bdsm), and be emotionally cold after returning. She was 100% incapable of admiting fault, and had a false sense of pride and superiority for being "enlightened" with her choices. Basically she turned into a sociopath. Super nice to lure you in, then chop off your head by ignoring, lying, cheating, stealing, and flipping blame on you in tye most bizarre of rationalizations.

I recently sent an email to her PO informing her of use, and recommending hair folicle testing. Eitger she uses the years locked up to rewire her brain and truly clean up, else at least she was incapable of damaging more guys with her shennanigans. I admit it was a final payback for all the suffering she caused me and many more ovef the last decade. Bitch deserved it.

Don't date a hard drug addict. They are almost always using because they're too damaged and weak to process their issues. The drugs will just amplify their deficiencies. It turns then into sociopaths.
  #22  
Old 21-10-2013, 21:05
3rdParty 3rdParty is offline
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Re: Can a meth addict have a successful relationship?

I have a stepdaughter in her early 20's who was a previous meth user. She has been clean for about a year now. However she has since hooked up with a guy who is still using and he has her wrapped around his finger. She has a very bad track record with guys. He repeatedly relapses and has never really attempted rehab (he has lied about going to rehab and simple left the state for a month to stay and party with other friends). He has been fired from his job, taken back and sold every gift he has given her. And to top it off, he has recently gotten ahold of her bank card and drained her account to the tune of -400. And because he has not hit her, she still says "he hasn't hurt me" and stays with him. Even after his dealers have beat him up and come to his mom's home threatening to kill someone if they don't get their money. There are many kinds of hurt (physical, mental, emotional, financial). You have a lot to take into consideration when you think about the kind of baggage you are looking at. If he is awesome 80% of the time and a nightmare 20%, is that something you are willing to live with? Are you prepared to alienate the rest of your family for this guy (I doubt they will want him around). Food for thought.
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Old 22-10-2013, 23:24
corona corona is offline
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Re: Can a meth addict have a successful relationship?

Quote:
Originally Posted by 3rdParty View Post
I have a stepdaughter in her early 20's who was a previous meth user. She has been clean for about a year now. However she has since hooked up with a guy who is still using and he has her wrapped around his finger. She has a very bad track record with guys. He repeatedly relapses and has never really attempted rehab (he has lied about going to rehab and simple left the state for a month to stay and party with other friends). He has been fired from his job, taken back and sold every gift he has given her. And to top it off, he has recently gotten ahold of her bank card and drained her account to the tune of -400. And because he has not hit her, she still says "he hasn't hurt me" and stays with him. Even after his dealers have beat him up and come to his mom's home threatening to kill someone if they don't get their money. There are many kinds of hurt (physical, mental, emotional, financial). You have a lot to take into consideration when you think about the kind of baggage you are looking at. If he is awesome 80% of the time and a nightmare 20%, is that something you are willing to live with? Are you prepared to alienate the rest of your family for this guy (I doubt they will want him around). Food for thought.
Very good advice. Especially the 80% great 20% nightmare example. At least you can wake up from a nightmare. Very simply and eloquently put.
  #24  
Old 26-10-2013, 08:23
dankplantgrower dankplantgrower is offline
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Re: Can a meth addict have a successful relationship?

It is not advisable for a non-tweaker to try and bring a tweaker into their life for a long term relationship. I say this as a former meth addict who was left by my love of 8 years and mother of my 2 kids over meth addiction. She tried every thing she could do to save me before she finally just took my kids and left, but at that point I was stealing from her dad and aunt (and childhood friends, gotta love meth) and she must have just been so embarassed.

The thing is, we will never be able to put you first before our drug. We are all sunshine and daisies when we are spun, however when the meth is dry our true personality is shown. Ever come across somebody coming down from a stiff dope bender? Ill tell my own mom to buzz off until I can sleep it off and catch a new one.

Sex was always beter on meth because my sex drive is hyperstimulated and I couldnt really cum so easy so it would just be super energetic until my partner had climaxed enough and would become sore from rough sex. However there were a couple times where I either couldnt get it up, or could barely achieve like a 75% erection even with a sexy naked woman in front of me. I have a sex tape on my computer where my dick looks like 5" long, because the bloodflow was there enough to get some penetration but not enough to really expand to my normal size.

Another downside to meth is promiscuity. Meth hyperstimulates some peoples sex drives, and can lower inhibitions, so your boyfriend could be at his dope house to score and a meth using girl who needs to get high could be there at the same time. "If you give me a couple hits, Ill make it worth your while..." Id ask a girl to borrow their pipe when I picked up at my old connects, and 20 minutes later wed be having unprotected sex in the backyard with people still walking in and out of the garage next to us picking up their dope... This would be outrageous amongst many other drug use types. On meth, this stuff happens.

Dating an addict means theres always a bit higher of a risk. A meth adict would be a huge risk though IMO.
  #25  
Old 05-11-2013, 03:45
Somniferabbit Somniferabbit is offline
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Re: Can a meth addict have a successful relationship?

Wow, this thread got pretty big. Well, it's been a long time since I talked to "Joey." He pretty much stopped talking with me, because I'm not part of the world he lives in. He prefers the company of other tweakers and those who live to party, and I'm not that kind of person. I've moved on with my life, and not looked back. I really appreciate all of you taking the time to tell your stories and give me advice! Such honesty is really a gift. Thank you.

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