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  #1  
Old 20-05-2012, 01:50
janedoe814 janedoe814 is offline
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Hair Follicle Test. HELP PLEASE!

My sister went on a binge. She had not done this stuff up until 8 weeks ago. She has not told me how much she's done, but I knew enough to know she dropped weight and was up as long as her body would go, then she'd pass out. Well now, crap hit the fan, so to speak. Her ex husband found out and got temp custody of his kids. She does want to to make this right, and doesn't want any further use, but she still has to get through court. At first he was saying just take a blood test, if you do that, I won't force a follicle. Well when my sister said, yes, I'll take a test (she hasn't done since last Friday I believe at the latest) Well since she offered up the test willingly, he is now saying Hair Follicle Test. Is there anyway to pass this?! I know obviously I don't want to just excuse what she did.. But she KNOWS she fucked up. And now she's trying to make this right and scared to death to lose the kids. She has had them since birth, and he's literally been gone since birth. He used to beat the living crap out my sister, so much so he had to leave the state to avoid prison time. He paid child support, and came back in their life a few years ago after he got married.. for every other weekend. And at this point, he's just using this as his excuse to swoop in and take his kids. His wife will do all the work. Not him. He just wants revenge on my sister.. SUCKS all the way around. She tests this Wednesday.
  #2  
Old 20-05-2012, 02:37
AboveDaInfluence AboveDaInfluence is offline
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Re: Hair Follicle Test. HELP PLEASE!

Well I dont blame the dad for getting HIS kids from a meth addicted mother, but I think drugs has the longest presence in hair =/. Im sorry that sucks.
  #3  
Old 20-05-2012, 03:44
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Re: Hair Follicle Test. HELP PLEASE!

I would bet there are meth addicted mothers who make descent moms. I used to know a couple of them. Just because someone is an addict doesn't they should lose their kids
  #4  
Old 20-05-2012, 03:57
AboveDaInfluence AboveDaInfluence is offline
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Re: Hair Follicle Test. HELP PLEASE!

I'm pretty sure not all meth addicted mothers are danger to their kids, but those moms that would pimp out there own kids for meth money ruined it for all the "moms". Don't you think the husband has the right to decide she can't take care of the kids? If you saw that your ex wife lost tons of weight and looked like hell what would you do, show sympathy to the ex and risk putting your kids in danger?? no way man
  #5  
Old 20-05-2012, 04:23
janedoe814 janedoe814 is offline
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Re: Hair Follicle Test. HELP PLEASE!

Does anyone know the legal aspect of this? as in if she will submit a UA or blood test, will the courts order the follicle? She has told me, and I'm not sure the 100% truth, but that she has used it more than once, less than 5. When kids have been at my moms or with us sisters (which my mom takes all her grandkids like once a month for a night. And we've taken her kids pretty much every weekend bc we weren't sure what was going on..) so I can believe she did it without them. I think we were just seeing the after effects. The with drawals an the exhaustion. But I need legal/past experiences.. please. ?
  #6  
Old 20-05-2012, 04:46
St Dismas Novitiate St Dismas Novitiate is offline
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Re: Hair Follicle Test. HELP PLEASE!

While some of here are lawyers or have extensive experience in the judicial field, it would in all likelihood by unethical for someone to give you advice without knowing the facts behind the case. besides, there is also no way that we could predict what a judge will or will not do or order in your case. Why are you even going in front of a judge without legal counsel? You should consult an attorney. In many cases, an initial consultation is free or a reduced rate can be arranged under certain circumstances. There is, however, no substitute for qualified legal advice.
  #7  
Old 20-05-2012, 13:15
Lrs721 Lrs721 is offline
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Re: Hair Follicle Test. HELP PLEASE!

to the op, did you say she hadn’t used in 8 weeks or since Friday?
actually just reread it and im pretty sure you meant that she first used 8 weeks ago until you think last Friday. As far as i know, meth is detectable in hair 90 days. so even 8 weeks would be not long enough to test clean in hair (56 days = 8 weeks). last friday is less than 10 days at this point, which is sunday 5-20.
i mean, if she held out on testing without court order (HAIR) and kept postponing her court date somehow (which is going to take something extreme im sure because youd have postpone quite a few times or pray that it gets set at least 2 months away)
if shes for sure clean and has not used since last friday, she should test clean on blood urine or saliva. blood is actually the most accurate for testing but also the shortest detection period which is believed to be 1-3 days, urine 3-5. Obviously usage and other factors come into play but thats where home drug tests can come into play. test her urine a night or two before the test date and make sure theres no surprise positive results- either based on a lie told by your sister or major major usage that could cause longer detection periods. so she should agree to both of those this week if she is clean and then argue that's enough to prove she is fit and agree to weekly testing to be sure she stays clean with her children
some places have drug testing shampoo that will supposedly mask your hair for use, but i dont recommend relying on that as they may be known by labs and tested for as well, so if they do work and she tests clean from meth she could still be considered dirty because of using those- not sure on how aware testing agencies are of these products and have no experience using them myself. I think her best bet would be to just agree to other testing methods and remain clean so that she can always test clean for her ex and the court and continue seeing her kids and eventually not worry about a hair test because she'll have been clean long enough it'll be out of her system.

not to derail, just am passionate about this part of the thread so
id like to add, that yes, there are good moms that happen to use or be addicted to meth and other drugs. ive seen a lot of moms here in this forum that have said their kids come first NO MATTER WHAT and that sounds like bullshit to some, but it's not. there are fucking sheisty people out there who are not good moms and are addicted to meth (or anything)- but guess what? They're just bad moms. drug addicton is just another trait they happen to have.
i feel like if you love someone who is truly 100% dependent on you, like a child, you will not let them fall victim to your drugs. This could mean a bunch of things, but I think that it means- they will never find you so fucked up that you can't function or guard them from worrying about you, they will not come into contact with this drug (or smoke or any thing of that nature), you will not let them go hungry, you will not let them be ignored for an unhealthy amount of time, you will spend time INTERACTING with them to help them grow up, etc. Yes, some things are innevitable with using drugs and but a mistake is not to say someone is a bad parent- even the OP's sister could have just fallen pray to something that is super easy to get addicted to and tempting to start using given the right circumstances.
if you have never seen someone with kids that uses drugs or have met a few that caused you to have such negative views- im sorry because that is a gross and horrible thing to witness and i feel so sorry for children in that sort of situation, but either having a child while using drugs or being around somone who has one that is more important to them than ANYTHING especially drugs, will change your opinion and you will understand how drug users can still manage to be great parents. its not something you can understand until you feel it or witness users w/ kids interacting with their kids.
  #8  
Old 20-05-2012, 14:34
TheBigBadWolf TheBigBadWolf is nu online
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Re: Hair Follicle Test. HELP PLEASE!

janedoe,
I think your sister should immediately get a lawyer.
Whatever she did or what she has to do to keep custody of her children someone learnéd can get out thousand times better as we here on this internet discussion board.

TBBW
  #9  
Old 20-05-2012, 22:51
zgoat65 zgoat65 is offline
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Re: Hair Follicle Test. HELP PLEASE!

Quote:
Originally Posted by janedoe814 View Post
Does anyone know the legal aspect of this? as in if she will submit a UA or blood test, will the courts order the follicle? She has told me, and I'm not sure the 100% truth, but that she has used it more than once, less than 5. When kids have been at my moms or with us sisters (which my mom takes all her grandkids like once a month for a night. And we've taken her kids pretty much every weekend bc we weren't sure what was going on..) so I can believe she did it without them. I think we were just seeing the after effects. The with drawals an the exhaustion. But I need legal/past experiences.. please. ?
It is all up to the judge. She can go the honesty route, offer the UA, and simply say that the hair test will show up as positive as it can go as far back as 9 months. I have heard the courts ordering a UA, but not the hair test, but if hubby says he is willing to pay for it (they are expensive) then the court may just take his plea. Most likely they will order the UA and if it is positive then hubby wins. It also depends on where this is all taking place. In the great state of Texas, if the mother will simply put her pipe down for the court proceedings and pass a UA, then she gets her kids, and the right to conc tinue to use. Texas gives NO rights to responsible fathers even if the mother is a lowlife douche. She would have to actually take a blast in front of the judge to really lose all of her rights in Texas. And even then, she'd get em back after completing some rehab and jumping through a hoop or two

Last edited by zgoat65; 20-05-2012 at 22:53. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
  #10  
Old 21-05-2012, 02:31
janedoe814 janedoe814 is offline
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Re: Hair Follicle Test. HELP PLEASE!

She is Lawyering up.. First thing Monday morning. If the follicle is required.. She's gonna be honest with the judge and tell her yes, I've done it, this many times. I regret it, it was dumb, but I'm not addicted. In Oklahoma, the judges are very finicky when it comes to kids. I've seen them make some weird decisions (not that it would be weird to rule in dad's favor when comes to meth) but there's a good chance it could go either way. They both have their skeleton's, so to speak. But I believe her when she saye's she's done. She sounds completely coherant at this point and expresses deep regret for putting her kids in the cross roads. I guess I should also mention she's worked in family law almost 8 years now.. And she feels pretty confident that the judge will not take her kids away, IF she is honest, owns up to her guilt, and corrects the situation, and doesn't let it go further from here. That's not 100% certain.. But thats our shred of hope for her now. Thank you for everyone's advice. This has been a whirl wind of craziness. Glad it seems to be getting better.
  #11  
Old 21-05-2012, 17:42
St Dismas Novitiate St Dismas Novitiate is offline
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Re: Hair Follicle Test. HELP PLEASE!

She may also wish to consider getting involved in some form of counseling and/or treatment before seeing the judge, as well. It is all well and good to admit that you have a problem to the judge, but he would probably be more inclined to forgiveness if you showed up with some sort of plan in hand. That would indicate that you are quite serious in the matter and are taking responsibility for your actions. Judges are, for some odd reason, big on taking responsibility and stuff like that. Just my opinion, or course, but it might be good to consider.
  #12  
Old 21-05-2012, 18:42
hux1ey hux1ey is offline
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Re: Hair Follicle Test. HELP PLEASE!

Quote:
Originally Posted by toxinreleased View Post
he would probably be more inclined to forgiveness if you showed up with some sort of plan in hand. That would indicate that you are quite serious in the matter and are taking responsibility for your actions.
THIS x 1000!

But please don't just appear in court and say you have a problem.

It might be best to identify a specific trigger, trauma or reason that lead you to indulge in this one off (I take it?) binge. If you can, in a no-bullshit fashion (Judges & Magistrates can usually smell bullshit from a mile away...) try to show that this was AN EXCEPTION to your usual behaviour (ie Statutory Declarations attesting to your character and conduct as a mother), which was set off by a specific and out of the ordinary set of circumstances, that you are genuinely remorseful, and show evidence that demonstrates you have done EVERYTHING in your power to ensure that 1) such circumstances won't happen EVER again and 2) that you will never again react in such a destructive fashion (the rehab).

Post Quality Evaluations:
good idea

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