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  #1  
Old 09-04-2012, 02:14
fullmetal fullmetal is offline
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xanax blackout

A few years my monkey blacked out on xanax and went to a friends house. well his friend is bi so when he woke up and saw his zipper was undone he freaked out. well years later his friend sent him pics he took of what happened. the picture showed my monkey was passed out with another monkey performing fellatio on his limp penis. there were over 30 pictures. now my monkey is worried, because he doesn't know if anything else could have happened. he knows that he himself didn't do anything, but it is possible his friend attempted to force his dick in his mouth? i know there was no anal play cause there was no discomfort in my monkeys ass. My monkey's friend was 17, having his first sexual experience. Is my monkey taking this over his head? There was no recollection other than the drive on the way of my friends house. I believe I had nothing to do and was being emo and wanted to hang with someone. Unfortunately he changed his story many times, at one point when I made fun of him for being bi/gay, he told me that the gay acts went both ways that night. Months after, when my monkey was depressed, he showed him the pictures and confessed this to not be so, the pictures clearly showed my monkey with his eyes closed. I'm just worried, what if he tried to face fuck me! I'm straight myself.
  #2  
Old 09-04-2012, 02:31
Phenoxide Phenoxide is offline
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Re: xanax blackout

Quote:
Originally Posted by fullmetal View Post
A few years my monkey blacked out on xanax and went to a friends house. well his friend is bi so when he woke up and saw his zipper was undone he freaked out. well years later his friend sent him pics he took of what happened. the picture showed my monkey was passed out with another monkey performing fellatio on his limp penis. there were over 30 pictures.
Well that's sexual assault. Report it to the police and have those involved arrested if you're not happy about it.

Quote:
now my monkey is worried, because he doesn't know if anything else could have happened. he knows that he himself didn't do anything, but it is possible his friend attempted to force his dick in his mouth? i know there was no anal play cause there was no discomfort in my monkeys ass.
Yes he no doubt got you to fellate him and there was probably some well lubricated sodomy too. Feel better now? Thought not, so why speculate?

Quote:
My monkey's friend was 17, having his first sexual experience.
Well that makes all the more criminal in most jurisdictions. And I wouldn't say that it counts (unless of course you want it to count) if you were not a conscious and willing participant.

Quote:
I'm just worried, what if he tried to face fuck me! I'm straight myself.
What if he did, and why does it make any difference if you're straight or gay? Even if you were gay you'd feel just as violated if someone effectively raped you while you were fucked up on drugs. Something that may or may not have happened while you were unconscious has no bearing on your sexual orientation, so I wouldn't sweat it. As long as you weren't injured and haven't contracted some horrible disease as a result of what happened then there's no damage done really unless you choose to dwell on it.

Valuable lesson learned about the dangers of amnesiac episodes too.. while the person with you acted inexcusably at least it wasn't a total nutcase that may have seriously injured you or worse.

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You are genuinely amazing Phenoxide. Somehow you integrate humor and rape appropriately and teach a lesson all at the same time. You walk a fine line well.
  #3  
Old 09-04-2012, 02:32
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Re: xanax blackout

What your "friend" did to you was rape, plain and simple. If you were blacking out, then you couldn't give consent.

I have to say, you're bloody lucky. You're bloody lucky that this is the worst thing that happened on the night you went driving while blacking out on benzos. You're very lucky you didn't die.
  #4  
Old 09-04-2012, 02:51
SpatialReason SpatialReason is offline
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Re: xanax blackout

Quote:
Originally Posted by fullmetal View Post
A few years my monkey blacked out on xanax and went to a friends house. well his friend is bi so when he woke up and saw his zipper was undone he freaked out. well years later his friend sent him pics he took of what happened. the picture showed my monkey was passed out with another monkey performing fellatio on his limp penis. there were over 30 pictures. now my monkey is worried, because he doesn't know if anything else could have happened. he knows that he himself didn't do anything, but it is possible his friend attempted to force his dick in his mouth? i know there was no anal play cause there was no discomfort in my monkeys ass. My monkey's friend was 17, having his first sexual experience. Is my monkey taking this over his head? There was no recollection other than the drive on the way of my friends house. I believe I had nothing to do and was being emo and wanted to hang with someone. Unfortunately he changed his story many times, at one point when I made fun of him for being bi/gay, he told me that the gay acts went both ways that night. Months after, when my monkey was depressed, he showed him the pictures and confessed this to not be so, the pictures clearly showed my monkey with his eyes closed. I'm just worried, what if he tried to face fuck me! I'm straight myself.
I hate to say this friend: this is why you don't go to excess among people, ever. You can't do this in college even as a male. You will get raped. You can't do this anywhere, you will get raped. Just remind yourself of that and you won't have this happen.

I have had this happen before sadly. I won't lie. I just admitted to myself that I made a mistake and chose to binge drink and do painkillers at once. So basically there were rumors that I sucked a guy off. All I could say to myself: "Wow, I did NOT know that about myself. Damn..." So with that being said, you are boohoo'ing over your own issue that you created. I am telling you now: you might get raped if you do this again regardless of the people around. There are guys looking for quick pleasure: straight, gay, bi, alien, etc. You have to learn about this early.

Laugh it off, pray he used a condom and had no transmittable diseases/infections, get checked, learn from this experience why you can't be completely disconnected from reality, and move on with life. If you think you still have a problem with it, go find a councilor. You may have more issues to discuss. I hate to be seemingly unsympathetic. If you were a girl, this is the same thing that would be said: don't get obliterated on pills. Yet that does not matter: gay experience or not... Your issue is in the fact that you need to learn a lesson from this. I know this person was a sick bastard and is at fault, but you can't possibly choose to ignore the fact that Xanax and ANY benzo will make you far more relaxed than you can ever imagine: to the point of blacking out and being inhibited entirely is far into the regions of dangerous excess. There is even a chance that you were being secretly consenting and never knew since there is no way to either way. That is what happened with me apparently. I don't remember, but the bastard told me that I was definitely consenting. Oh well... I might have been at the time. I won't yell at him or get him in trouble for what I should not have been doing in the first place. This is the same sort of situation you are left to deal with, sadly.

Go get checked for STDs just in case. Your health is priority numero uno. In this day and age, there is never a reason to not be safe and do this.

Edit:
I didn't want to seem to harsh with the onslaught of my words. You need to understand: at least you didn't blackout, drive, and kill a family. I lost a near and dear friend to a guy heavily sedated on beer and benzo (as they both were driving home). So I give little sympathy to these situations any more it seems (and I may have let that out on you, for which I am sorry). The least that could have happened is that you woke up with all of your cash ripped out of your wallet. This form of "rape" happens all the time. People WILL take advantage of you when they can, and I don't think there is anyone that can debate that. Rape is simply the sexual form of taking advantage of you. The most we could ask is that you never land in that position ever again where you will have this happen. Secondly, I think that you were looking too harshly into this situation just to pick a fight, and it will cause animosity to seek legal avenues. He didn't attempt to hurt your body or fight you to get what he wanted, which is traditionally formulaic of rape cases. It seems to be a horrible joke turned bad for everyone. If you can find some solace in that fact, you may be better off looking at it with the perspective that "at least something worse did not happen." So I apologize for seeming rather obtuse with my humor. I am not good with humor, so I will let Phenoxide best me at that. I hope the points that I have made hold valid meaning to you, fullmetal, as that was my only intent.

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scare-mongering

Last edited by SpatialReason; 10-04-2012 at 17:45.
  #5  
Old 09-04-2012, 02:56
fullmetal fullmetal is offline
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Re: xanax blackout

I mean should I really press charges?? I got the pics not to long ago.. I forgot to add that I got a ride from my dad. I'm just really mad that he would think of me in that way, he was my best friend. I don't want to speculate but the thing is that ever since he said that we did gay shit, even when he showed me the pics and confessed, I still couldn't get the "what ifs" out my head. The uncertainty is eating me =/
  #6  
Old 09-04-2012, 03:06
coolhandluke coolhandluke is offline
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Re: xanax blackout

Quote:
Originally Posted by SpatialReason View Post
I hate to say this friend: this is why you don't go to excess among people, ever. You can't do this in college even as a male. You will get raped. You can't do this anywhere, you will get raped.

.
really? im not sure where you are from but where i live people, myself included, go out and get black out drunk at bars or parties all the time, and do not get rapped. ive never been raped, and ive blacked out on drugs and booze more times than i could imagine, around friends gay and strait, and have never been raped.

i guess if you make hanging out with sadistic rapists and people you dont know and take strong drugs mixed together with or without alcohol than thats another story, but really saying if you black out your going to get rapped no matter where you are is ridiculous, sure there is some situations where your putting yourself up to be rapped, robbed, or be drawn all over, but saying that there is no where you wont be rapped if you drink to much is scaremongering in my book.

im not encouraging anyone to use drugs to excess, but it happens a lot, and if your going to do this be with real friends you trust.

potter makes a good point, the worst thing that happened to you was sicko put your limp dick in their mouth and too a picture while you were passed out, you could have easily passed out driving and killed yourself, woken up in a jail cell or hospital only to learn you are being charged with killing a few kids and their mom driving home from church.
  #7  
Old 09-04-2012, 03:08
SpatialReason SpatialReason is offline
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Re: xanax blackout

Quote:
Originally Posted by fullmetal View Post
I mean should I really press charges?? I got the pics not to long ago.. I forgot to add that I got a ride from my dad. I'm just really mad that he would think of me in that way, he was my best friend. I don't want to speculate but the thing is that ever since he said that we did gay shit, even when he showed me the pics and confessed, I still couldn't get the "what ifs" out my head. The uncertainty is eating me =/
It is hard to prove the case. It is a lesser form of a rape charge and VERY hard to argue since you were extremely inhibited and amnesiac. He could claim you consented fully during your black-out. So with the charges being pressed and him having the right legal team, it could just be a lost cause for you. Also if those were illegal narcotics, you can have a lot more trouble on your end. You might have also been drinking, maybe? If that is was the case, there is even more trouble for your case. You are 19 and popping benzos, so this whole thing is just condemning itself.

I have met girls who go through this. They learn about binge drinking effects for the first time, and they also learn about rape concurrently. The end-of-the-road of their charges were dropped because they did not have proper proof and they admitted to heavy sedated drinking.

How can you claim rape? You may have mumbled words like "yeah baby" or something you don't know you have said. There is no winning in this matter sadly with regards to a legal battle. Lawyers will make this a losing battle for you.
  #8  
Old 09-04-2012, 03:14
coolhandluke coolhandluke is offline
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Re: xanax blackout

Quote:
Originally Posted by fullmetal View Post
I mean should I really press charges?? I got the pics not to long ago.. I forgot to add that I got a ride from my dad. I'm just really mad that he would think of me in that way, he was my best friend. I don't want to speculate but the thing is that ever since he said that we did gay shit, even when he showed me the pics and confessed, I still couldn't get the "what ifs" out my head. The uncertainty is eating me =/
why is this eating you? because you were taken advantage of by a friend, because you were sexually abused/raped, or because you are afraid you are gay? it its the latter than you need to get over it man, you were blacked out someone raped you and thats it. if this guy is going around telling people your gay than call the cops and show them the pictures. tell them you were backed out on boozed and this person raped you, you didn't know but now you have the pictures. im sure if this guy comes from money you could also get a nice little chunk of change for the whole thing as well.

if your truly bothered by this than yes, call the police, if you simply thinking your now gay you need to do a little soul searching. gay is just a word for people who prefer others of the same sex for relationships sexual, romantic, whatever. you were black out drunk and taken advantage of, thats not gay. is someone who gets raped in prison gay? when you jack off are you thinking about guys, if you are than maybe you are gay, if not than you are strait.

do you have some feeling of confusion regarding your sexual orientation in general or is it just because of this situation? if its just this situation, move on man your not gay. and if you are it has nothing to do with being raped.
  #9  
Old 09-04-2012, 03:18
fullmetal fullmetal is offline
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Re: xanax blackout

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Originally Posted by coolhandluke View Post
really? im not sure where you are from but where i live people, myself included, go out and get black out drunk at bars or parties all the time, and do not get rapped. ive never been raped, and ive blacked out on drugs and booze more times than i could imagine, around friends gay and strait, and have never been raped.

i guess if you make hanging out with sadistic rapists and people you dont know and take strong drugs mixed together with or without alcohol than thats another story, but really saying if you black out your going to get rapped no matter where you are is ridiculous, sure there is some situations where your putting yourself up to be rapped, robbed, or be drawn all over, but saying that there is no where you wont be rapped if you drink to much is scaremongering in my book.

im not encouraging anyone to use drugs to excess, but it happens a lot, and if your going to do this be with real friends you trust.

potter makes a good point, the worst thing that happened to you was sicko put your limp dick in their mouth and too a picture while you were passed out, you could have easily passed out driving and killed yourself, woken up in a jail cell or hospital only to learn you are being charged with killing a few kids and their mom driving home from church.
Do you think thats all that happened? He was a virgin and didn't have any sexual experience at 17.. He said he kissed me on the forehead goodnight. He also told me he didn't want to fuck my ass or anything, because he wanted to do it together consenting. (he had gay fantasy's with me)

fullmetal added 2 Minutes and 5 Seconds later...

and no I'm not gay. I can't even fathom the act of having a guys dick around my mouth even when knocked out cold. I'm very heterosexual, it affects my self image.

Last edited by fullmetal; 09-04-2012 at 03:18. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
  #10  
Old 09-04-2012, 03:21
SpatialReason SpatialReason is offline
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Re: xanax blackout

If you have some sexual confusion, we can be nice and supportive about that. It is a very difficult, confusing, and difficult situation for sure. No one is fully sure about this stuff. If you did not like this and hope it never happens again, then make sure you have some control from now on. If you see that this guy is making a fool of you and spreading this, then YOU DO have a case. That is illegal. He can't spread that stuff and demean your character. He also can't send those pictures to others without your explicit permission.

So you have to look at your options. You have no option with just claiming rape. Yet you need to figure out the true demon in all of this. If it has any root of sexual confusion, then maybe there are ways of helping this topically and immediately.

SpatialReason added 2 Minutes and 20 Seconds later...

Quote:
Originally Posted by fullmetal View Post
Do you think thats all that happened? He was a virgin and didn't have any sexual experience at 17.. He said he kissed me on the forehead goodnight. He also told me he didn't want to fuck my ass or anything, because he wanted to do it together consenting. (he had gay fantasy's with me)

fullmetal added 2 Minutes and 5 Seconds later...

and no I'm not gay. I can't even fathom the act of having a guys dick around my mouth even when knocked out cold. I'm very heterosexual, it affects my self image.
In this case, from what I have gathered now, you need to seriously have a heart-to-heart with your friend and explain to him why this was wrong and not fair. You need to be nice to him as this shows that he is very stupid and new to the world. What he did was wrong and if he gets a chance to fully apologize and admit his fault, you may get more comfort from HIM than anything. Please be as professional and friendly as possible to him. He may be a very confused young gay man with a very warped perception. He needs to know his fault, learn from his mistake, and try to be given a little bit of support as this will end up hurting him more than it will hurt you. Young gay men are confused and sometimes far more "relaxed" than they should be with their sexuality... and overstep boundaries greatly... He needs a friend to be the one to tell him that he may end up getting into a world of shit, whether legal or through someone's vengeance, if he thinks that is acceptable.

He kissed you on the head. It appears obvious that he may just be EXTREMELY confused. He needs to be "set straight" about his acceptable actions. Be the reasonable one and tell him.

Last edited by SpatialReason; 09-04-2012 at 03:24. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
  #11  
Old 09-04-2012, 03:25
coolhandluke coolhandluke is offline
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Re: xanax blackout

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Originally Posted by SpatialReason View Post
It is hard to prove the case. It is a lesser form of a rape charge and VERY hard to argue since you were extremely inhibited and amnesiac. He could claim you consented fully during your black-out. So with the charges being pressed and him having the right legal team, it could just be a lost cause for you. .
as far as i know you CANNOT give legal consent to sex while under the influence.

having pictures is going to make the charges stick. taking drugs is not going to do anything to the case aside from giving a defense attorney a feeble attempt at smearing you character and call into question if your testimony is credible, and if there are pictures, than that will not work.

the police are not going to do anything about drugs when you say that you were messed up and raped, they cant do anything, they cant charge you with a crime. like i said in cases lawyers will use stuff like this to raise doubt in the jurors mind wether a persons testimony is credible because of character flaws, prior convictions, ect.

coolhandluke added 3 Minutes and 30 Seconds later...

you would know if your ass was penetrated, even if his penis was small it would still be different down there, slimy from lube, ect.

talk with your friend, tell him what he did was fucked up and you want an apology or your taking those pictures to the police.

Last edited by coolhandluke; 09-04-2012 at 03:25. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
  #12  
Old 09-04-2012, 03:28
SpatialReason SpatialReason is offline
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Re: xanax blackout

Quote:
Originally Posted by coolhandluke View Post
as far as i know you CANNOT give legal consent to sex while under the influence.

having pictures is going to make the charges stick. taking drugs is not going to do anything to the case aside from giving a defense attorney a feeble attempt at smearing you character and call into question if your testimony is credible, and if there are pictures, than that will not work.

the police are not going to do anything about drugs when you say that you were messed up and raped, they cant do anything, they cant charge you with a crime. like i said in cases lawyers will use stuff like this to raise doubt in the jurors mind wether a persons testimony is credible because of character flaws, prior convictions, ect.

coolhandluke added 3 Minutes and 30 Seconds later...

you would know if your ass was penetrated, even if his penis was small it would still be different down there, slimy from lube, ect.

talk with your friend, tell him what he did was fucked up and you want an apology or your taking those pictures to the police.
From what I have gathered from this situation, legal matters should not be the path chosen. This needs to be discussed among two friends and done cordially. If that is the case, maybe he will get a heartfelt apology and possibly get some "reasons behind it." If they work through this together, it may result in a fair resolution that doesn't go hurting both.

I think this is the best advice quite honestly fullmetal: please talk to your friend and try to keep your cool. I have a feeling that this resolution will produce the best results.
  #13  
Old 09-04-2012, 03:54
fullmetal fullmetal is offline
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Re: xanax blackout

Hm the talking to him thing isn't really an option. I told him that I would have to send the pics to his family to really know the truth. He blocked my number and shit.
  #14  
Old 09-04-2012, 04:30
SpatialReason SpatialReason is offline
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Re: xanax blackout

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Originally Posted by fullmetal View Post
Hm the talking to him thing isn't really an option. I told him that I would have to send the pics to his family to really know the truth. He blocked my number and shit.
Eh, this is going to get right shitty very quickly with you two. You better work towards opening up an avenue for conversation, or he better see the light and come plea for your forgiveness and grace.

This is sad for both of you. Sorry that you had to go through this.

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alprazolam, alprazolam blackout, alprazolam overdose, benzodiazepines, date rape, drug induced amnesia, xanax, xanax blackout, xanax overdose

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