Put on the spot by friends; the center of intervention

[dr.gonzo]

Swim has been using H weekly for about 8 months, but has recently lost his connection, so has resorted to using benzos and alcohol to sway him until he finds another resource.

Well, about a week ago, swim got pretty drunk at a friend's house. There were about eight people there, and only three of us were drinking. They are straight edge (they don't use drugs).

Now, while drinking with my friends, a bottle of temazepams fell out of my pocket, and my friend Will decided that this was the perfect opportunity to call me out on my bad habits. He kind of put me on the spot in front of everybody. He was the only person I told of my usage, but everybody seemed to already know, so I guess everybody had sort of been talking behind my back.

We got into a pretty heated debate, and he made me feel pretty shitty, saying things like how he would rather kill himself than resort to using heroin, and how he thinks I'm just wasting all of my potential and not thinking about the future. I countered with some nonsense about how our society has bred a state of mind that holds certain drugs to be much worse than they actually are, and that he wouldn't be having this talk to me if I had a vicodin problem.

I don't remember too much, as I got completely wasted, but I remember finally getting my pills back and swallowing the rest of them in front of everyone, and giving a almost teary eyed speech about how I don't really give a shit anymore. In short, I made an ass out of myself.

I really wish my friend hadn't called me out in front of everyone, especially with me being as drunk and messed up on sleeping pills as I was. But I really don't feel like losing friends over this. Any suggestions on how to go about patching things up? Maybe I should just lie and tell them that I'm off the stuff...