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The euphoric body Physical sides of drug use.

 
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  #1  
Old 29-07-2011, 03:22
Arley Arley is offline
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Its impossible for me to get addicted to drugs.

I cant get addicted to drugs..
Why? Because they dont effect me..

The only drugs that have effected me to date are alcohol, Weed, DXM and nicotine. Weed and DXM weren't enjoyable, even at massive doses, and alcohol and nicotine dont really fix my problem, or even make me content.
Alcohol gives me the same effects it gives everyone else, but i dont want to be like that all the time.
Nicotine used to completely wipe my existential anxiety. Now it doesn't effect me at all, even at doses that make me puke.

You can understand how annoying it is.. Im depressed as fuck with no cure and my body wont even allow me to self medicate -.-.

Now dont put me off as someone with no willpower.. I've tried every herbal medicine for depression to no avail..

(I've taken 50+ dose tablets of both Rhodiola rosea and St johns wort, and whereas i know of people who get MDMA like effects from 10 pills, i got absolutely nothing)

Hell, when i took the 50 tablets of Rhodiola, i was on a MAOI. That type of shit is meant to put you in a hypertensive crisis. I got absolutely no effect.

I simply cant be benefited by Psychotherapy in the state im in without drugs.. I have a physical condition with my head, and i know that for a fact.

I've been on Zoloft, Celexa, Cymbalta, Lexapro, Mirtazipane, Sodium valproate, Selegiline and im now on Dexamphetamine.

The only effects i've experienced at all was that Zoloft numbed my dick. And after i got pissed (alcohol), it sent me in a rollercoaster of euphoria and dysphoria for a day. And i guess it made me mildy manic, the bad type (Aggression, depersonalization)

Oxycodone doesn't effect me, even at 40mg with Grapefruit juice.
Valium seems to lessen my existential anxiety but does nothing for my depression. It allowed me to go to my psychiatrist and talk about my problems without feeling uncomfortable as fuck, like i usually do.

Today was my first dose of the dexamphetamine. I took it with an Antacid, which is supposed to increase the effects. I havn't really felt an effect. I think it has brought my concentration back to baseline, because i was pretty burnt out from all the caffeine i've been taking this week. Im going to wait for a comedown/try snorting it.

Its gotten to the point where im just being reckless with drugs just so i can feel something, even if it is bad. I WANT side effects. I WANT a numb dick, I WANT to be so angry that i punch walls.
I want to know that drugs actually effect me, so i can try find the right one
Because right now, im pretty god damn numb.

I've been researching and im putting this down to two things.

-Im an ultrarapid metabolizer. My P450 system must be rapidly metabolizing the drugs before they have the opportunity to reach my brain. I might try get this tested. I personally dont think this is the main cause, it just doesn't seem plausible.

-Something is wrong with my Glutamate system?
Maybe i have a high ass tolerance to all drugs because of my NMDA recepter?
I was going to try nitrous oxide but i couldn't find a cracker.. -.-, and DXM basically didn't give me effects similar to that of NMDA antagonisation.

This is so damn confusing . Nothing i've been reading has provided me an answer to any of this, and i've spent over 6 months researching my condition..

I guess im looking to have a discussion with someone with a similar problem, or someone who has a lot of knowledge on the subject

EDIT:
Caffeine doesn't effect me either. I've taken 1g (10 cups of coffee) and slept fine, with no hand shaking etc.

Also, about the addiction thing. When nicotine was moderately working, i used it only when i was in a social situation. I never actually used it when there weren't people around me, and i used it for about 4 months. I even binged it. I never got one single craving, or withdrawal.

Last edited by Arley; 29-07-2011 at 03:49.
  #2  
Old 29-07-2011, 04:30
Arley Arley is offline
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Re: Its impossible for me to get addicted to drugs.

It may be hard to believe but it is true. The bottle contained 50 tablets, each containing 400mg of rhodiola extract, and 500mg of hops extract. I was on a 10mg dose of selegiline, and since i have a fucked up metabolism, im guessing that didn't have any MAOI effects at all. I actually also took 1g of SAMe aswell. (I was in a terrible numb mood and i wanted to actually feel something.. Which is why i was overdosing on shit.) But still, 50 tablets of rhodiola, And 50 tablets of SJW... you would expect them to have some sort of effect..
It either means the herbal companies are taking advantage of no FDA restrictions and putting grass into their pills, or my metabolism/brain is fucked. Valerian doesn't work either, the max dose of that i've taken is 10 though.

I have never injected a drug.. I had no problems with general anesthesia during a recent surgery though. I have no access to meth. But as i said, i do have Dexamphetamine. Im going to try snort that, and see what happens.But i mean, i cant snort food. If my metabolism is messed up than i wouldn't be getting the right amount of nutrients from food right?.

Its not a case of 'Absolutely nothing effects me from any route'
As i said, weed, tobacco, and alcohol effect me. But it just seems like theres something wrong with my head apart from the neurotransmitters they target (Serotonin, dopamine etc.)

I mean, if the Selegiline was actually working, the effects should not wear off for 2 weeks from now. And i just took a Dex dose.
MAO-B inhibition + Dexamphetamine should have me psychotic, or bouncing off the walls with euphoria. But i just feel normal... So this leads me to believe that its something to do with metabolism

But drugs that DO effect me (Nicotine, Alcohol, DXM, Weed) dont give me the effects i would expect. Which leads me to believe its something wrong with glutamate or something.

I dont think i mentioned this before, but i NEVER get euphoria from drugs. The only thing close i have gotten to euphoria is contentment with life, which i got from nicotine.

Last edited by Gradient; 29-07-2011 at 22:00. Reason: removed poor advice from a different member
  #3  
Old 29-07-2011, 04:37
Smeg Smeg is offline
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Re: Its impossible for me to get addicted to drugs.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arley View Post
I cant get addicted to drugs..
Why? Because they dont effect me..

The only drugs that have effected me to date are alcohol, Weed, DXM and nicotine. Weed and DXM weren't enjoyable, even at massive doses, and alcohol and nicotine dont really fix my problem, or even make me content.I guess im looking to have a discussion with someone with a similar problem, or someone who has a lot of knowledge on the subject
You've definitely come to the correct forum. What is it that you exactly want from here though?

You mentioned various drugs that have affected you, yet the title of the post suggests that you don't have a propensity for addiction. This is a very good thing if it's true.

Why do you describe the lack of addiction as a "problem"?

Do the drugs you listed truly cause no difficulties? I hope they really don't.

Please let us know more about what you are asking here.
  #4  
Old 29-07-2011, 04:55
Arley Arley is offline
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Re: Its impossible for me to get addicted to drugs.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Smeg View Post
You've definitely come to the correct forum. What is it that you exactly want from here though?

You mentioned various drugs that have affected you, yet the title of the post suggests that you don't have a propensity for addiction. This is a very good thing if it's true.

Why do you describe the lack of addiction as a "problem"?

Do the drugs you listed truly cause no difficulties? I hope they really don't.

Please let us know more about what you are asking here.
It would be a very good thing yes.
The main point im trying to point at here is by 'effect' i mean offer effects obviously different from placebo. I dont mean the normal effects users get from the drugs.

Like, Weed effects me, but it only makes me stupid, and zoned out. From this, i know that it actually effects me, but that doesn't mean i like the effect.

On the other hand, the other drugs that i mentioned dont effect me at all. I cant differ their effects from placebo.

The lack of addiction is a 'problem' because its basically caused by lack of positive effects from the drugs. i could binge on alcohol for 3 months, sure, id get physical addiction, but i would never get any mental addiction. Because i dont get any benefit from the drug, if you know where im getting at?

I guess this thread is not as much of a question as much as it is trying to find someone to discuss the subject with, or find someone in a similar situation to me.

Last edited by Arley; 29-07-2011 at 05:06.
  #5  
Old 29-07-2011, 07:31
InTheFade InTheFade is offline
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Re: Its impossible for me to get addicted to drugs.

It sounded like you were looking for something to make you feel better. Do you exercise? Exercise is probably the single most beneficial thing you can do for your mind and body. It's not as easy to appreciate the effect at the time as it might be after taking strong drugs (which don't seem to be working for you as it is), but I think you would see benefit from exercise if you don't do it already. People who run can get nice runners highs, and general improvement in health will have a positive effect mentally as well. Pushing yourself and giving yourself goals may also help to take your mind off whatever is troubling you.

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sound advice given
Great, healthy advice, especially for the poster and his situation.
  #6  
Old 29-07-2011, 13:27
lillianni lillianni is offline
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Re: Its impossible for me to get addicted to drugs.

I agree with the post below, try to stop looking for chemical answers, this is the route a lot of people with mental health disorders go down and is a reason why there are so many addicts out there.

It's good that you don't get addicted to drugs, I'm the same in that respect, I have used recreationally in the past but eventually get bored and stop.

To have purpose in your life is a huge rush in itself, exercise is brilliant, as is sunshine.

Find something you love to do, whether it's knitting or bungee jumping. If you have something in your life that can take over your preoccupation with your mental state then it can only be a positive thing.

Keeping active is always the best way to good mental health.

Personally I list my hobbies as live music (festivals/gigs etc), scuba diving (rarely get the opportunity here in the uk and going abroad is expensive), recently discovered surfing which requires a lot more exertion than I ever realised, yoga is really good for calming the mind.

Set your self goals and in life, there is no other high better than achieving the things you set out to do.

Hope this is of some use.

lillianni added 1 Minutes and 45 Seconds later...

Oh, I found out last year that I had been suffering from bi-polar disorder for the last 20, it's taken a variety of medications and dosages to get me to an almost normal (whatever that means) state. I learned a long time ago that drugs whether recreational or prescription, are rarely the answer, the best therapy is to live your life in a positive and productive way.

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excellent post, with a lot of good advice, especially concerning life change

Last edited by lillianni; 29-07-2011 at 13:27. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
  #7  
Old 29-07-2011, 13:57
lillianni lillianni is offline
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Re: Its impossible for me to get addicted to drugs.

From a harm minimisation point of view never EVER inject into an artery, for one thing it's extremely difficult to hit correctly (junior doctors can't do it properly) and if you do hit it the dangers of overdose are immense.
  #8  
Old 29-07-2011, 14:11
Arley Arley is offline
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Re: Its impossible for me to get addicted to drugs.

Quote:
Originally Posted by lillianni View Post
I agree with the post below, try to stop looking for chemical answers, this is the route a lot of people with mental health disorders go down and is a reason why there are so many addicts out there.

It's good that you don't get addicted to drugs, I'm the same in that respect, I have used recreationally in the past but eventually get bored and stop.

To have purpose in your life is a huge rush in itself, exercise is brilliant, as is sunshine.

Find something you love to do, whether it's knitting or bungee jumping. If you have something in your life that can take over your preoccupation with your mental state then it can only be a positive thing.

Keeping active is always the best way to good mental health.

Personally I list my hobbies as live music (festivals/gigs etc), scuba diving (rarely get the opportunity here in the uk and going abroad is expensive), recently discovered surfing which requires a lot more exertion than I ever realised, yoga is really good for calming the mind.

Set your self goals and in life, there is no other high better than achieving the things you set out to do.

Hope this is of some use.

lillianni added 1 Minutes and 45 Seconds later...

Oh, I found out last year that I had been suffering from bi-polar disorder for the last 20, it's taken a variety of medications and dosages to get me to an almost normal (whatever that means) state. I learned a long time ago that drugs whether recreational or prescription, are rarely the answer, the best therapy is to live your life in a positive and productive way.
Honestly im not having a go at you, but are you that naive?
I absolutely hate it when people say the things you said in your post.
Sure it may help for people who cry wolf when they feel bad for once in there life, but for people like me, who actually suffer true depression, its never going to work. And mate, i used to jog 5k a day, and go to the gym every 2 days. Didn't have a single effect

I can sum your entire post in one sentence
"If you want to cure your depression, be happy"

Forgive me for my hostility, but people who post shit like that really tic me off.


Update on the situation.
Okay so i took 10mg of Dex, with an antacid. No effect. Then about 4 hours later i snorted 15mg of Dex.
Let me just say, if Dex was a woman, i would repopulate the earth with her.
Its an amazing drug! i feel like a perfect human.
I dont feel like a speed freak. I dont talk people off until they dont want to listen any more. Im not jittery. I dont have ideas flowing out of my head. Im just me, with unlimited energy, and maybe very slight anxiety.

For once in my life i have concentration, motivation, and the best of all, Socialism!
Socialising is so easy on Dex. Not to mention i skate about 5x better.

So obviously i DO have something wrong with my gastrointestinal absorption of drugs.

Right now, its 11:15PM. And i have no hope of sleeping.. I guess its not a great side effect :/.
But i did rail the 15mg at 4PM. It lasted for about 4 hours, no crash, it basically left me in the state is was before, with slight jitteriness, AND normal concentration. And right now the only withdrawal effects is i missed how it made me feel, and i want to do more. I have willpower though, so obviously im not going to binge or anything like that.

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Once again you take wel-intentioned & solid advice & throwit back in peoples faces in a condescending manner. This stye of posting tends towards the troll.
For the barely cloaked hostility. Civility costs nothing on this forum.
that member's advice is solid. even people with real depression still need to make an active effort to change. medication will only help if one is willing to try to change their bad habits.
a fair enough approximation of responses in my opinion. you one sentence summary is classic

Last edited by Arley; 29-07-2011 at 14:24.
  #9  
Old 29-07-2011, 15:03
shivas shivas is offline
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Re: Its impossible for me to get addicted to drugs.

Why are you're even "self medicating"? Go get some professfional help instead.

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+3: you could have expanded your point a little more, but so far this is the only sensible and reasonable advice I have seen in this thread...
  #10  
Old 29-07-2011, 18:14
DriftAway DriftAway is offline
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Re: Its impossible for me to get addicted to drugs.

My brother has the same thing..almost. He lives pretty clean but as a US Marine binge drinking is a requirement (JK). Our family has thyroid problems and he has hyperthyroidism. That means your thyroid works over time. I can post links yet but this is from Web MD about the symptoms of Hyperthyroidism.

What are the symptoms?
Nervousness, restlessness.
Trembling hands.
Rapid heartbeat.
Feelings of excessive warmth and intolerance of heat.
Hot, sweaty skin.
Weight loss despite increased appetite.
Severe general tiredness.
Muscle pains and muscle tiredness.
Frequent loose stools.
Disturbances of menstruation.

This could be a reason for you fast metabolism. Ask your doctor about it. Say that you don't get the effects that they were prescribed for and its because you have a fast metabolism and you want to get checked out.
Whats your diet like? Do you drink alot of liquids that are diuretic? Alcohol and Caffeine are diuretics if you drink a Red Bull with your medication maybe your pissing it all out before you get a chance to absorb them? What I would do is go on a detox for a week or two from the recreational drugs and take just the minimum your prescriptions...maybe you have a tolerance and you didn't know it?
Also stop the grapefruit juice...GFJ has mixed results for people and Ive even seen that daily use of GFJ can keep your body from absorbing decent amounts of you D.O.C (drug of choice) Read this about the mixed effects of GFJ

http://www.drugs-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=32404

As for the exercise not to be lame but keep it up....working out and having a sexy body definatly helps erase my depression. And another thing I do (Kailey-Elise is gonna love this) but sex and masturbation ALWAYS help me get out of a bad mood...maybe you just need to get off more?

DriftAway added 5 Minutes and 22 Seconds later...

PS as for trouble sleeping my husband (and every guy I know) will masturbate at night if he cant sleep..he passes out within minutes of cumming.
Melatonin is great for sleeping and it helps restore your circadian rhythm, people with disturbed sleep and rhythm tend to also suffer depression. See if you can keep yourself on a schedule for waking/sleeping.

DriftAway added 7 Minutes and 13 Seconds later...

One more thing..have you ever tried anything anally as a route of administration?UTFSE Use the forum search engine on this..many people have had better results from their DOC this way...myself included when I take codeine. If you have anything with apap or ibuprofen do a CWE so you don't kill your liver.

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very good advice! thank you for finally bringing some real information and science into this thread. The OP may actually have this problem. Excellent job!

Last edited by DriftAway; 29-07-2011 at 18:14. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
  #11  
Old 29-07-2011, 20:09
missparkles missparkles is offline
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Re: Its impossible for me to get addicted to drugs.

Arley...you need to sort out your real life problems first, before even considering taking any drugs other than those prescribed. You could make the problem so much worse love. Just one more thing, remember, people are genuinely tryng to help you, so perhaps a little gratitude would wouldn't go amiss?

Sparkles.
  #12  
Old 29-07-2011, 20:39
smark smark is offline
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Re: Its impossible for me to get addicted to drugs.

I suffer from something similar, not that substances dont work on me, apart from a few benzos and amphetamines. I just develop a high tolerance very quickly. For example take MDPV, i got some to try, dosed carefully tried smoking, didnt like that and prefer to snort it. now im at a stage where i do lines from anything between 50-100mg, no real compulsion to redose.
Went for a while without and thought id be back to zero tolerance, but after about 100mg the tolerance was back up.
Even heroin, went from a bag .1 to as much as i could smoke, still got effects just took more to get there. I am and was off it for years, a litle while ago got back into it, couple of days, couple of bags and bang, 1g was like a bag and the purity here is fairly high.

i would not recommend your "Going for gold" potentially fatal experiments, you will end up doing yourself some permanent damage or worse.

Go see a doctor or an online medical forum see if theres a general opinion on what may be the problem and cause then go see your real doctor.

Its possible that these dangerous combos you have been taking in those amounts are part of the cause and not the cure.

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excelent advice and harm minimisation
A remarkably sincere, educative, candid, authentic and kind post.
  #13  
Old 29-07-2011, 21:08
DriftAway DriftAway is offline
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Re: Its impossible for me to get addicted to drugs.

Maybe your not suffering from depression but from anger issues. Even if you don't "feel" the effects of these drugs your brain is constantly adjusting and altering its self trying to normalize itself. This is copied fromhowstuffworks . com

If you're constantly being activated by triggers, however, then this state of response can start to cause damage. Chronically angry people may not have the mechanism to turn off these effects. They may not produce acetylcholine, a hormone which tempers the more severe effects of adrenaline. Their nervous system is constantly working and can eventually become overexerted, leading to a weakened heart and stiffer arteries [source: Angier]. There's potential for liver and kidney damage, as well as high cholesterol. Anger may bring along some accompanying issues, such as depression or anxiety .

Anger's physical side effects explain why you frequently see studies about the damage that this emotion can do to our bodies. In one study of almost 13,000 subjects, individuals with the highest levels of anger had twice the risk of coronary artery disease and three times the risk of heart attack, as compared to the subjects with the lowest levels of anger [source: Kam]. Some scientists think that chronic anger may be more dangerous than smoking and obesity as a factor that will contribute to early death [source: Angier].

So maybe the source of your depression is actually anger issues and not a natural chemical imbalance.

We are just trying to help but no one like to help an A Hole...take care.
  #14  
Old 29-07-2011, 21:12
Corlan Corlan is offline
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Re: Its impossible for me to get addicted to drugs.

I have taken the MAOI tranylcypromine for 30 years,And i have never heard of efective suggestion for a fast and very painful death . Given a single IV injection of Methadrine the the person goes into screaming at the top of there voice ,huge head pain focusing on the back of the back of the neck. I will NOT give you any real suicide tips. The Chemo therapy of Psychiatric Illness by Peter Dally is a good read . You might by by a copy Bipoler Disorder for dummies ONE small oral dose of oral amphetamine will not harm a healthy individual but an IP injection will kill you, please take this on trust a shot of meth will kill you. Next time you want to kill use a suicide safe one Best wishes for now s[/U]

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Please try to express your thoughts in a clearer way, I can only guess what you are trying to tell the OP.
  #15  
Old 30-07-2011, 00:53
Arley Arley is offline
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Re: Its impossible for me to get addicted to drugs.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DriftAway View Post
My brother has the same thing..almost. He lives pretty clean but as a US Marine binge drinking is a requirement (JK). Our family has thyroid problems and he has hyperthyroidism. That means your thyroid works over time. I can post links yet but this is from Web MD about the symptoms of Hyperthyroidism.

What are the symptoms?
Nervousness, restlessness.
Trembling hands.
Rapid heartbeat.
Feelings of excessive warmth and intolerance of heat.
Hot, sweaty skin.
Weight loss despite increased appetite.
Severe general tiredness.
Muscle pains and muscle tiredness.
Frequent loose stools.
Disturbances of menstruation.

This could be a reason for you fast metabolism. Ask your doctor about it. Say that you don't get the effects that they were prescribed for and its because you have a fast metabolism and you want to get checked out.
Whats your diet like? Do you drink alot of liquids that are diuretic? Alcohol and Caffeine are diuretics if you drink a Red Bull with your medication maybe your pissing it all out before you get a chance to absorb them? What I would do is go on a detox for a week or two from the recreational drugs and take just the minimum your prescriptions...maybe you have a tolerance and you didn't know it?
Also stop the grapefruit juice...GFJ has mixed results for people and Ive even seen that daily use of GFJ can keep your body from absorbing decent amounts of you D.O.C (drug of choice) Read this about the mixed effects of GFJ

http://www.drugs-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=32404

As for the exercise not to be lame but keep it up....working out and having a sexy body definatly helps erase my depression. And another thing I do (Kailey-Elise is gonna love this) but sex and masturbation ALWAYS help me get out of a bad mood...maybe you just need to get off more?

DriftAway added 5 Minutes and 22 Seconds later...

PS as for trouble sleeping my husband (and every guy I know) will masturbate at night if he cant sleep..he passes out within minutes of cumming.
Melatonin is great for sleeping and it helps restore your circadian rhythm, people with disturbed sleep and rhythm tend to also suffer depression. See if you can keep yourself on a schedule for waking/sleeping.

DriftAway added 7 Minutes and 13 Seconds later...

One more thing..have you ever tried anything anally as a route of administration?UTFSE Use the forum search engine on this..many people have had better results from their DOC this way...myself included when I take codeine. If you have anything with apap or ibuprofen do a CWE so you don't kill your liver.
Thank you very much for this. Thats the only constructive post i've gotten.
I took a thyroid test about 5 months ago. It definately came in the average range.

I do have intolerance to heat though, i sweat alot, and i can eat overloads of food and not get fat.
I guess i have overall tiredness and muscle tiredness..

I used to drink loads and loads of caffeine to stay awake for a gaming addiction. But i took a good 1 month break off that before starting my first AD. And i rarely ever drink. I have a pretty good diet, Back when i was jogging 5k a day and going to the gym, i lived off Tuna, Milk and multivitamins.

I know, i like being in shape :P. One thing i find helps me get through the day is trying to look my best. Im on Amph's now so hopefully it should be easy to excersize.

And i find it quite the opposite . Whenever im depressed i just wank, sometimes twice a day. But when i feel good, i just dont have the urge.

I havn't tried medications anally, although im completely open to it, but like, i cant start shoving everything up my ass.

Im not sure they have dexamphetamine suppositories.



To everyone else who posted, look.
How would you feel, if you had been majorly depressed for the last 6 months, dysphoric all your life, the doctors keep chucking you things that dont work, and your heads too fucked to benefit from psychology. You would feel pretty damn angry right? Especially when there's so much that could help, yet all you get is SSRI's.

Now, that vent topic was my fault, and it was pure crap.
But now im asking a simple question, and everyone who saw that topic is coming on
"Durr its obvious you have anger issues. Just choose to be happy and you will be happy''

If im not thanking you for help, its because your not giving help. I post topics because i want information and experience from other people, not to have a bunch of people post the above sentence.
  #16  
Old 30-07-2011, 00:59
Smeg Smeg is offline
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Re: Its impossible for me to get addicted to drugs.

If the OP can stand it, would it be possible to make a list of their emotional difficulties?

I don't mean necessarily on this forum, but in a personal diary. It may or may not be useful whatever route is taken. It feels (to me) that there is "true depression".

It could be that the way forward to you is to seek some professional guidance. It may also be the case that this option is not useful. There seems to be anger there too.

What is important is that you decide what are your priorities for personal happiness as well as your loved ones. Just try and think of the truest thing you know. Just that one thing.
Positive identification of the source of the sadness and pain can lead to other contingent, and emotionally survivable happier outcomes.

It is my opinion that you don't need to resort to radically chemical solutions to what can be resolved on a sober emotional level, as the whole tone of your original post appears to seek an alternative.

All best from this corner for future joy.

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constructively useful suggestions

Last edited by Smeg; 19-08-2011 at 03:15. Reason: spelling
  #17  
Old 30-07-2011, 01:20
Arley Arley is offline
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Re: Its impossible for me to get addicted to drugs.

Smeg, with all due respect, im not stupid. Of course i have tried to fix myself in my sober state. I used to bag out spiritualistic techniques, and i got so desperate i actually tried them for my depression..

Thats your opinion, but it is wrong. My issues are obviously chemical.. Im never sad, the only time i cry is because of how fucked up i am.
Your probably going to contend this, but i actually rarely get angry. I can get madly agitated, but i just dont have the energy.
  #18  
Old 30-07-2011, 08:47
Micklemouse Micklemouse is offline
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Re: Its impossible for me to get addicted to drugs.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arley View Post
Its an amazing drug! i feel like a perfect human.
I dont feel like a speed freak. I dont talk people off until they dont want to listen any more. Im not jittery. I dont have ideas flowing out of my head. Im just me, with unlimited energy, and maybe very slight anxiety...

And right now the only withdrawal effects is i missed how it made me feel, and i want to do more.
And there we have it - proof in that one statement that you can get addicted to a drug. Your belief that you have willpower (& I'm not disputing this) is not enough to guarantee that you wil not become addicted.

Arley, this thread is based on a false premise, that because you have not enjoyed certain recreational drugs & a few short courses of medication have not cured you (you never did say how long you had tried each anti-depressant or mood stabiliser did you?) then there is something chemically wrong with you. Thousands, if not milions of people do not enjoy canabis, for the very reasons you state - it makes them feel stupid & zoned out, the very effects that many are actually looking for & enjoying in their cannabis. Many people also describe little or no effects from drugs including alcohol & psychedelics, the first time they take them. There are several schools of thought on this - some believe that the taker may not know what it is they are feeling so discount it, some feel that the taker is expecting too much from the experience, & therefore feels nothing. Conversely, & this is what I feel may be happening here, the taker expects the experience not to happen, & creates a self-fulfilling prophesy.

Noone is saying that you are stupid Arley, but they are saying that you may be misguided in your continued attempts to find a chemical cure for something that may not even be there. Noone is saying that the answer is to "just be happy" - that would indeed be ridiculous. What they are saying is that sometimes you have to take responsibility for your own happiness, & as was said in your other thread, this takes commitment. At 18 I do not believe that you can have given anything the time that it needs. You have intimated that there are things in your early childhood that have led to this point,things that you haven't dealt with. I'd be prepared to lay money on these issues being what is stopping you from crying, not some nebulous chemical imbalance. I'm not saying that you are making this up, but I am saying that it is all in your mind & that you have the ability, with help, to sort it out, but you have to find the right help & stick with it, not go running from one thing to the next after a few weeks .

On the off-chance that it is a chemical issue, you may want to look into the effects of cytochromes on drug metabolising, & things that may effect that, such as diet, other drugs & supplements. And once again if the current course of selegiline proves ineffective (which it no doubt will if you continue to pile other drugs on top & refuse to do any consistent work on your Self whilst relying on a chemical to cure you), I would heartily recommend considering a period of complete abstinence, including prescribed medication, with regular contact with your therapist, GP, whoever is coordinating your care.

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Great post with sensible advice, i feel reply this hits the nail squarely on the head.
+3: good post, and I surely give you credit for having that much patience with the OP...
Fantastic, helpful, caring, informative; it's clear you've put some serious thought & effort into compiling this for the OP.
very, very well thought out post, great advice!

Last edited by Micklemouse; 30-07-2011 at 08:58.
  #19  
Old 02-08-2011, 08:39
lillianni lillianni is offline
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Re: Its impossible for me to get addicted to drugs.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arley View Post
Honestly im not having a go at you, but are you that naive?
I absolutely hate it when people say the things you said in your post.
Sure it may help for people who cry wolf when they feel bad for once in there life, but for people like me, who actually suffer true , its never going to work. And mate, i used to jog 5k a day, and go to the gym every 2 days. Didn't have a single effect

I can sum your entire post in one sentence
"If you want to cure your depression, be happy"

Forgive me for my hostility, but people who post shit like that really tic me off.


Update on the situation.
Okay so i took 10mg of Dex, with an antacid. No effect. Then about 4 hours later i snorted 15mg of Dex.
Let me just say, if Dex was a woman, i would repopulate the earth with her.
Its an amazing drug! i feel like a perfect human.
I dont feel like a speed freak. I dont talk people off until they dont want to listen any more. Im not jittery. I dont have ideas flowing out of my head. Im just me, with unlimited energy, and maybe very slight anxiety.

For once in my life i have concentration, motivation, and the best of all, Socialism!
Socialising is so easy on Dex. Not to mention i skate about 5x better.

So obviously i DO have something wrong with my gastrointestinal absorption of drugs.

Right now, its 11:15PM. And i have no hope of sleeping.. I guess its not a great side effect :/.
But i did rail the 15mg at 4PM. It lasted for about 4 hours, no crash, it basically left me in the state is was before, with slight jitteriness, AND normal concentration. And right now the only withdrawal effects is i missed how it made me feel, and i want to do more. I have willpower though, so obviously im not going to binge or anything like that.
I am outraged by your comments and will address each one individually

You are most definitely having a go
At 44 I am definitely not naive
Currently I am under the care of a psychiatrist and a community psychiatric nurse so the suggestion that I am crying wolf after 20+ of poor mental health is insulting to say the very least
I am not your mate
I am not saying "if you want to cure your depression, be happy", I know, better than most, that it is not that simple
My advice is sound and backed up by research so is not "shit", just because things haven't worked for you does not mean they are groundless

I am so angry right now and cannot forgive you for being hostile because it seems to me that you do not want to have any responsibility for your own feelings and emotions but just want a "quick fix"
If you don't want sound advice then don't ask for it

lillianni added 1 Minutes and 58 Seconds later...

I was trying to give you the benefit of my own personal experiences
I have been a self harm and suicidal at times
I have tried many illegal substances in an effort to feel better

Drugs do not cure your problems, they only mask the symptoms. If you suffer from true depression as you claim then you have to find out the reasons why

lillianni added 4 Minutes and 31 Seconds later...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arley View Post
Thank you very much for this. Thats the only constructive post i've gotten.
I took a thyroid test about 5 months ago. It definately came in the average range.

I do have intolerance to heat though, i sweat alot, and i can eat overloads of food and not get fat.
I guess i have overall tiredness and muscle tiredness..

I used to drink loads and loads of caffeine to stay awake for a gaming addiction. But i took a good 1 month break off that before starting my first AD. And i rarely ever drink. I have a pretty good diet, Back when i was jogging 5k a day and going to the gym, i lived off Tuna, Milk and multivitamins.

I know, i like being in shape :P. One thing i find helps me get through the day is trying to look my best. Im on Amph's now so hopefully it should be easy to excersize.

And i find it quite the opposite . Whenever im depressed i just wank, sometimes twice a day. But when i feel good, i just dont have the urge.

I havn't tried medications anally, although im completely open to it, but like, i cant start shoving everything up my ass.

Im not sure they have dexamphetamine suppositories.



To everyone else who posted, look.
How would you feel, if you had been majorly depressed for the last 6 months, dysphoric all your life, the doctors keep chucking you things that dont work, and your heads too fucked to benefit from psychology. You would feel pretty damn angry right? Especially when there's so much that could help, yet all you get is SSRI's.

Now, that vent topic was my fault, and it was pure crap.
But now im asking a simple question, and everyone who saw that topic is coming on
"Durr its obvious you have anger issues. Just choose to be happy and you will be happy''

If im not thanking you for help, its because your not giving help. I post topics because i want information and experience from other people, not to have a bunch of people post the above sentence.
I just found this and am astounded at how arrogant you really are.
I was giving you examples of my own experiences
I threatened to sever my femoral artery and was almost sectioned
I receive a disability living allowance for my mental health issues
I cannot work full time

For you to tell me that I don't have a real problem is beyond insulting

Last edited by lillianni; 02-08-2011 at 08:39. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
  #20  
Old 02-08-2011, 12:55
tekMiss tekMiss is offline
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Re: Its impossible for me to get addicted to drugs.

a good solution could be following a real therapy, and with real I mean you have to wait the right span of time to see some effects.: you can't expect an improvement forenight, some patience is needed.
you didn't say how long you had taken your prescribed drugs before deciding they wouldn't work, but you wrote a pretty long list of names and you've been depressed for 6 months...so I figure you didn't wait that long if you switched so many times.
I am not against drug use, but I think it should be recreational and possibly safe; it's not a way to solve problems...not like this, at least. and it's not a good idea to improve your general living with dangerous experiments like you're doing.
try to follow a therapy from the beginning to the due end, before complaining about your methabolism or whatever.

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Well balanced post that adresses all the issues in a symathetic yet honest manner.
  #21  
Old 06-08-2011, 07:07
Arley Arley is offline
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Re: Its impossible for me to get addicted to drugs.

Quote:
Originally Posted by lillianni View Post
I am outraged by your comments and will address each one individually

You are most definitely having a go
At 44 I am definitely not naive
Currently I am under the care of a psychiatrist and a community psychiatric nurse so the suggestion that I am crying wolf after 20+ of poor mental health is insulting to say the very least
I am not your mate
I am not saying "if you want to cure your depression, be happy", I know, better than most, that it is not that simple
My advice is sound and backed up by research so is not "shit", just because things haven't worked for you does not mean they are groundless

I am so angry right now and cannot forgive you for being hostile because it seems to me that you do not want to have any responsibility for your own feelings and emotions but just want a "quick fix"
If you don't want sound advice then don't ask for it

lillianni added 1 Minutes and 58 Seconds later...

I was trying to give you the benefit of my own personal experiences
I have been a self harm and suicidal at times
I have tried many illegal substances in an effort to feel better

Drugs do not cure your problems, they only mask the symptoms. If you suffer from true depression as you claim then you have to find out the reasons why

lillianni added 4 Minutes and 31 Seconds later...



I just found this and am astounded at how arrogant you really are.
I was giving you examples of my own experiences
I threatened to sever my femoral artery and was almost sectioned
I receive a disability living allowance for my mental health issues
I cannot work full time

For you to tell me that I don't have a real problem is beyond insulting
Did i ever say you are one of the ones that cry wolf?
i said you speak like one of these people that suffer a death in the family and then get sad, think they are depressed because it goes on for a month then get put on SSRI's.

You do realise that the extreme majority of studies performed on CBT and medications are people that fall into the above category? Theres not many people that suffer true chemical imbalances without comorbid bipolar/schizophrenia. So going and 'talking about your feelings' might work if your some guy who doesn't know how to handle sadness, but for people like me and you, its not going to work.

I never asked for your forgiveness, 'mate'. What if there are no causes to my problems? What if i grew up in the same conditions as my brother and he isn't depressed? What if every day is a fucking haze, where i dont want to live or die, im trapped in fucking limbo. I cant enjoy anything, and i cant feel bad about anything, i sit here, trying to fucking self medicate but all the drugs do is make me even more dissasociated?

I dont want to take responsibility for my feelings and emotions? I fucking have none .Thats fucking true depression, and its hell. Feel good about the fact that you can fucking feel. Im not living, or surviving. I dont even fucking exist.

I asked for people to come and give me advice for their experiences with 'drugs' and conditions similar to mine.

I didn't ask for people to come on and tell me 'Durr be happy'. And thats exactly what you said.

The world is such a simple place, and i know this from experiences with drugs.
I dont live in fucking congo, i live in a capital city. Life is so simple, but my head clouds everything out. And if thats not a true psychiatric depression caused up by a fucked up brain, i dont know what is.

Maybe me, and you, have to come to terms with the fact that we're both fucked for life and nothing will help us but illegal drugs? Im coming so close to that conclusion. Evolution isn't always perfect, and theres always the people like me and you who get the fucked up genes and can never be normal. Maybe accepting that is the first step to living life the best of our ability.

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contradictory rant, difficult to follow
  #22  
Old 06-08-2011, 08:06
RubyHollywood RubyHollywood is offline
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Re: Its impossible for me to get addicted to drugs.

Arley, my pet Alleycat knows how you feel. She has tried & used just about every drug out there. She has never actually been "addicted" to anything outside of coffee. And, yes, it's very annoying!!!
  #23  
Old 09-08-2011, 13:57
lillianni lillianni is offline
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Re: Its impossible for me to get addicted to drugs.

both confused and speechless

dude stop contradicting yourself and read what you have written before you post it

would respond in full but don't have the time and truly believe I would only tie myself up in knots trying to address the issues in your post

I went through a stage of not feeling anything which was why I self harmed, this has now been turned into a positive because if I feel like that I go get inked so I have something that helps me

I don't believe I will be "fucked up" for life, because, after many many years of trial and error I seem to be on a course of medication that enables me to live my life with a positive outlook and working with others who are at a disadvantage gives me great satisfaction

anyhoo, bear in mind that poor mental health is the beginning of a very long journey (20+ years for me) and you cannot know the outcome
  #24  
Old 10-08-2011, 17:23
chibi curmudgeon Gold member chibi curmudgeon is offline
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Re: Its impossible for me to get addicted to drugs.

Guys, this is kind of turning into a fight between Arley and lillianni that's going nowhere fast. I think this should be moved, either to the antidepressant subforum--since that seems to be the real issue, or maybe the euphoric mind subforum.

Yes, depression is incredibly frustrating. I've been in situations where suggestions of "find a hobby" and "get more exercise" seemed utterly insulting and akin to someone handing me a band-aid for an amputated limb. I can't tell anyone what the solution to their frustration is, but I know it's not arguing on the internet.

Arley: you said this in your 1st post

Quote:
Valium seems to lessen my existential anxiety but does nothing for my depression. It allowed me to go to my psychiatrist and talk about my problems without feeling uncomfortable as fuck, like i usually do.
and that sounds like an excellent step to take from here.

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a sensible post
  #25  
Old 10-08-2011, 17:49
psyche psyche is offline
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Re: Its impossible for me to get addicted to drugs.

Arley, since dexamphetamine seemed to work wonders, have you thought about a possibility of ADD?

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