Top 10 Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

[Richard_smoker]

Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

Reputation Comments on this post:

Fun. :)

[polloloco001]

in my opinion religion is one of the worst inventions of human history. many people find it stylish to hate on christianity, but islam, judaism, the ancient pagan religions and religion in general are all delusional sets of beliefs created by men no more qualified to do so than you or i. at one point they served a purpose, that being to give hope to people who had to survive without knowledge or the workings of the world, but now science has solved many of these mysteries. there is no bearded man in the sky, certainly all of the "good" dead are not flying through the clouds on feathery wings. maybe these belief systems describe the truth in a paralell universe unfathomable ligthyears away, but they are, for all purposes relative to our own lives, totally outdated and detrimental to society. if you have a problem, do not pray for a solution, try to find one. religion is an escape. heroin for your mind.

[motorhead]

^Egads! its Karl Marx incarnate!

[StigmataLectron]

I think that religion was an evolutionary tool. People who belived in God, and organized themselves over something sacred, and believed that somehow Humans were a superior animal to the rest had some kind of drive, or bigger reason to stay alive and fight for their survival as a species than others or atheists of the stone age. It's served it's purpose. Today it's really supposed to be replaced by solid scientefic fact, now that society is established.

There's my two cents.

[Nature Boy]

I firmly believe that religion has been used for thousands of years as a form of population control but naturally that has spiralled out of control over the past 100 years or so with the advent of scientific learning.

Great top 10 though. I must email it to a Bible-bashing buddy of mine.

[Sky Walker]

Originally Posted by nature_boy_liam

I firmly believe that religion has been used for thousands of years as a form of population control but naturally that has spiralled out of control over the past 100 years or so with the advent of scientific learning.

I'd have to say I agree with that. In a day and age where the likely hood of receiving punishment for your crimes was low and easily avoidable something more had to be done to keep society in order. Having an ever present observer to ones actions will obviously make you check yourself. Just the thought that anything you do or say or think will be noted and may, one day be used to condemn you to the fiery depths of a hellish eternity was enough to make the majority of sane people at the time conform and be good, job done. Now the unruly citizens were under the Churches control and were generally behaving themselves, trying to exercise their new set of moral values. The people compelled by fear sought guidance and reassurance from the Church on how to live the way God wanted them too but this came at a price, not an outright charge for services obviously but a more subtle gesturing for donations and such. It seems that through the years those donations have built up to quite a hefty amount I think somewhere in the region of $40-$50 Billion and to think, they donate yearly to charity in the margins of a few mealsily million.

Reputation Comments on this post:

Good posting.

[falsereality]

Originally Posted by polloloco001

religion is an escape. heroin for your mind.

nicely said

[BEEKSc1]

"Religion is the sign of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people."

"Religion is not identical with spirituality; rather religion is the form spirituality takes in civilization."

Nice! a good 11 might be:

You have just incurred a near-death experience. And you describe shaking hands with God, and after that you saw a white light, where Jesus was beckoning you. When when you reach "Jesus," he manifest wine out of thin air; and you have a glass of wine with Jesus.

I just am disturbed when ppl w/ taunted unconscious describe similar outragous experiences as pertaining to OOBE and NDE.
My point is there is definately validity to these experiences because the pituitary gland produces Dmt. Dmt is released when one passes through the birth cannal and when one's bodily functions cease. Dmt can be released when someone experiences trauma w/ extreme intensity and the person truely believes they are going to die.

[Pinkavvy]

Religioun is a needed step in social cultural evolution that helps give people purpose and reason and answers questions. it also helps uphold the social contracts that soceity needs to survive; the basic of any religioun is to be good to others, the golden rule. Also, many people need icons and mythology and symbolism to make sense of it all. Just like you use drugs to get high, they use symbolic icons that are entrenched into their minds to release chemicals to make them feel high.

Hating religious people is just as stupid as religious people hating atheists. Everybody has their own path.


BTW, Thanks Richard, that's a very funny top 10

[old hippie 56]

Found this little deal about the number of people killed by God compared to number killed by Satan.