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Opiate addiction Support for coping with Opiate addiction and Opiate addiction treatment.

 
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  #1  
Old 29-03-2011, 02:58
tryinmybest tryinmybest is offline
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Trying to get off methadone alone

Hi all, I'm new to this forum, and trying to get it to work, and not having much patience, so I hope I'm not doing anything wrong posting in this thread.

I suffer from severe chronic pain, (CRPS) and have been on disability for the past 7 years because of it, and have been on methadone for the past 3 or 4 years now, can't even remember.

All I know is that there are SO many things wrong with me now since going on all these meds I'm fed up with it all, and since we just had our 1st baby, I need to be there for my wife and child, and right now, I'm NOT there for anyone.

I am on 3 X 25mg per day, and have slowly over the past 2 weeks whittled it down to less than half of one 25mg pill, tomorrow, it will be a quarter of a 25mg pill.

Quite frankly, I'm crawling out of my skin, my severe pain is out of control, I am shaking all the time, and the hot cold flashes and sweats are horrible. I feel like I'm going to lose it soon, and I don't know what to do, as I want OFF this garbage SO badly.

I cannot go to the doctor for help, as they are the ones who EXPECT me to be on the methadone because og my pain condition, and disability will frown on it severely if I do not follow the doctor's instructions, S I've decided to get off it alone. I need help though, as it's really making me crazy right now.

I've decided to start taking my diazepam again temporarily to help with this, but I still cannot sleep, been up for 2 days now.

My wife is totally exhausted doing everything with our baby alone, I need to get back in the game as soon as I can to help her, I feel so guilty and bad for her right now, I really hate myself for it.

What are your suggestions? It's taking everything I have to sit up and write this.
Thanks
Chri
  #2  
Old 29-03-2011, 05:41
your1guy your1guy is offline
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Re: Trying to get off methadone alone

I sure have a lot in common with you. I'm also on methadone. Been on it for 7 years now. I really want to be free of all pain killers. I started about a month ago
weaning myself off of it. I was taking 115 mls three times a day. I realized I would have to come down slowly. So I started by dropping each dose by 5 mls.
I would do this 3 times a day 5 mls with every dose for 4 days. I felt very little withdrawal symptoms. After each 4 days I would come down by 5 more. I would do this for 4 more days and so on. Right now, I have come down to 70 mls. It's not easy, but It has made such a big difference in my life. Two weeks ago I told my doctor, I wanted to come down a bit. We agreed on 5 mls a week. He doesn't know about me weaning myself off. He believes I'm starting now. Which is good.
The reason for doing it this way. He's on board with me withdrawing. He just doesn't know what my dose is.

I seem to have more energy. So I help out around the house more. Plus I'm doing more with the kids. If I did it cold turkey, I would be in shambles. I have a tough road a head of me. I look at it this way. I have a great women, and 2 kids I love more than anything. I realized I have to change for me. By doing it and getting clean. I can show them how much they mean to me! I truly wish you the best! You've made the biggest step of all! By deciding it's time to quit! Joe
  #3  
Old 29-03-2011, 06:45
tryinmybest tryinmybest is offline
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Re: Trying to get off methadone alone

your1guy,


Thanks Joe.
This is definitely weird for me to come online and tell all my crap to strangers.

I feel like I have no other place to turn, so here I am.

I just want to get it over with, but don't know what I' m doing, and cannot turn to doctors for help, they are pushing this stuff on me, and I feel like I'm trying to escape from them.

I just want this to end, I don't know how much more of this I can take.

Chris

Last edited by Dickon; 01-04-2011 at 08:18. Reason: quoting whole post
  #4  
Old 29-03-2011, 06:52
Dickon Dickon is offline
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Re: Trying to get off methadone alone

Have you had a look at A how-to guide to opiate detoxification. ? You could also have a look at my withdrawal journal from methadone: Screaming in the night air as I came off methadone about 2 1/2 years ago, cutting down fairly rapidly like you did.

I have to dash right now, but just wanted to give you these links and wish you all the best

Dickon

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straight to the point and giving a reference to useful information in the forum
  #5  
Old 29-03-2011, 08:04
tryinmybest tryinmybest is offline
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Re: Trying to get off methadone alone

Thanks Dickon,
No, I haven't seen them, I'm SO scrambled right now, and since I suffer from a brain injury, I have a REALLY hard time finding things, reading them, and remembering them, so my situation is harder than ever, that's why I'm asking specific questions, as I get information overload immediately, and cannot read volumes of info, I just can't.

Thanks, I'll try to read it though.

Last edited by Dickon; 01-04-2011 at 08:19. Reason: qwp
  #6  
Old 29-03-2011, 08:44
SickOfSick SickOfSick is offline
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Re: Trying to get off methadone alone

In the past 3 years, my boyfriend and I have both gone through what you are experiencing, multiple times, with methadone and Suboxone. We've gone cold turkey, we've tapered. All by ourselves. Most recently we went cold off methadone. His dose was higher (100mg daily) than mine (approx. 30mg daily). Needless to say, he had a MUCH worse time than I did. I understand wanting to STOP taking that garbage, but why push yourself so hard? It's been a long time building up in your system, maybe taking the tapering a little more slowly isn't such a bad idea? From my experience tapering too quickly puts you in withdrawals, and then d r a g g s it out so much longer. You probably want this to be over and done with asap. Who wouldn't? I hope your wife s understanding. It's a difficult time for you both. This s my first post/reply. I just wanted you to know that I've been in your shoes, and I've been in hers. It WILL get better.

SickOfSick added 17 Minutes and 12 Seconds later...

Be careful taking Benzo's for too long on any kind of regular basis. We've been clean from methadone/opiates for two months now. My boyfriend started taking those Meds a few years ago to help with withdrawal and found that they were wonderful sleep aids. He'd taken alprazolam diazepam clonizapam etc. every night to sleep. Coming off the methadone he started taking more and more, and during the day. After acute physical withdrawal from the methadone subsided, he'd taken the months worth and ran out. Poor man was (he said) in worse hell than opiate withdrawal. I brought him to the doctor, but the tremors were so bad they referred him to the ER. He wouldn't go, so we came home. 3 hours later he said "take me to the hospital". I just spent this entire weekend with him in the ER waiting for a bed to open up at a medical detox facility. Apparently withdrawing from benzodiazepines can be life threatening. We sure didn't know that!! Anyway, he went in today for a min. 5 days. I'm happy and sad all at the same time....
Have you read about PAWS? it's SO SO true. There is no quick fix for this problem. None that I've ever discovered. It sucks. It takes a while. Be patient with yourself
My boyfriend said that to me several weeks ago and I wanted to strangle him!!

Post Quality Evaluations:
good sound advice , optimistic and accurate
Very good first post, mentioning the idea of slower tapering and the risks of benzodiazepine addiction.
Excellent first post, great harm reduction advice.

Last edited by SickOfSick; 29-03-2011 at 08:44. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
  #7  
Old 29-03-2011, 10:51
Oneiromancer Oneiromancer is offline
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Re: Trying to get off methadone alone

be patient with your self tryinmybest I agree with what SickofSick has said as well. i think you might be cutting down too quickly. whilst im very proud of you and what you are setting out to do (i certainly encourage discipline in all types of drug use - recreational and therapeutic).you have a genuine need for pain medication and should not be too hard on yourself. i would also suggest that you keep in mind the "long game" and have some kind of contingency in place, what are you going to use instead of the methadone when the pain is bad ? if at all possible i do recommend coming off the methadone and on to something less addictive and less potent. but its so important to set yourself an achievable goal.if you set yourself an easy goal (like a tiny reduction in the opioid dose every week) and you achieve that goal then this will give you strength - hope - and confidence in your ability to achieve set targets and you will be more LIKELY to succeed with the NEXT goal that you set yourself.if you set yourself a goal which is not realistic , too difficult and too taxing to achieve , then you might fail in your endeavour and instead of putting yourself in a winning frame of mind - actually end up in a losing frame of mind - this will increase the possibility of failure. and will ultimately be counter-productive. if your disheartened because you fail to achieve your goal - you wont put as much effort in to your next attempt as you may think "whats the point - ill fail anyway...."i have quit using several different substances myself. i did this gradually and with my doctors help.i was firm with my doctor i told him im coming off these substances and it was not optional - but at the same time i used his advice and experience in order to achieve my goal as swiftly and SAFELY as possible.please dont get me wrong i think you are doing the right thing, im just trying to offer the best advice to make sure you succeed and find true happiness.best of luck - if i can help further - drop me a line
  #8  
Old 29-03-2011, 15:34
ex-junkie ex-junkie is offline
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Re: Trying to get off methadone alone

Hi there,

Taking into consideration your pet's pain condition, it could be argued that your pet is going to be less useful to baby and partner when in pain, than on methadone. I understand methadone has its drawbacks, but on the brightside, your pet is on a low enough dose to convert to buprenorphine now. People on buprenorphine appear to be happier, and have more energy and lust for life; than methadone. I know a pain and opioid addiction specialist, in South Australia, who prescribes some of his cancer patients buprenorphine, and it seems to be working quite well for them.

If you like, I can ask him if he thinks that buprenorphine would be suitable for your pet's condition. He is a well respected specialist and he helped write our national opioid prescribing drug policy, so if your pet has a genuine interest in options better than methadone, I'm more than happy to ask him on your behalf.
  #9  
Old 30-03-2011, 05:12
tryinmybest tryinmybest is offline
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Re: Trying to get off methadone alone

ex-junkie,

What do you mean my "pet"?
It's ME with the withdraw issues!

tryinmybest added 6 Minutes and 46 Seconds later...

By the way, what's so weird is that I've quit the methadone cold turkey a few times for over a month or two in the past 4 years I've been on it, and nothing happened at all, yet THIS time, I am in the worst agony I can remember.

I don't know if the pain is my CRPS chronic pain condition without pain killers, or if it is withdraw. I'm not even sure what I'm feeling, but I'm going nuts with the way I'm feeling!

I also start and srop the alprazolam many many times with NO side effects at all, it's strange.

I started also taking 1/2 of a 5mg diazapam pill 2 - 3 times daily, which is the only thing that's helped me feel a "bit" better, and a full pill before bed at around 12 midnight, but I still don't sleep, just lay there half awake.

I don't know if I can take much more of this, I ALMOST took my methadone again today it was SO bad!

But, I didn't.

I don't know if I'm gonna make it.

Thus far, it's just been tapering down, tomorrow is the first day with NO methadone, so I'm expecting a complete melt down.

If just the tapering is this bad, what will happen to me with NO methadone at all??

Last edited by Dickon; 01-04-2011 at 08:19. Reason: qwp
  #10  
Old 30-03-2011, 16:10
Der Alte Kreiger Der Alte Kreiger is offline
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Re: Trying to get off methadone alone

Quote:
Originally Posted by tryinmybest View Post

If just the tapering is this bad, what will happen to me with NO methadone at all??
My little dog Dixie says:

Bad, real bad, I ain't going to try to tell you different. But not a whole lot different from the misery of a methadone taper.
The first methadone taper I did was in '67 and was sick for the whole taper and still seemed like full WDs after I took my final dose. Since then I have gone off several times CT and my philosophy now is not to postpone the inevitable.
The scarey thing about WDing the first few times ( and trust me I'm a conesuoir of opiate WDs) is that you don't know how bad its going to get. there you are , laying there covered in sweat and puke, every nerve screaming, wondering, "Jeez, how bad is it going to get? I already thought it couldn't get this bad, how bad CAN it get? Holy shit what have I got myself into?".

One thing it helps me to reemember is that the only thing to fear is fear itself. It just gets just so bad and thats as bad as it gets, nobody dies from opiate withdrawals alone. Fear feads on fear and for me the nerves are the worst part of WDs. Its nothing you cant handle if you keep a handle on it. You can do it, its not that bad
Best of luck and welcome to the forum. Somebody will take you in hand soon and show You around the joint and explain the "pet" thing. Be careful in the yard and messhall.
  #11  
Old 30-03-2011, 16:21
Oneiromancer Oneiromancer is offline
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Re: Trying to get off methadone alone

Quote:
Originally Posted by tryinmybest View Post
What do you mean my "pet"?
It's ME with the withdraw issues!
what ex-junkie is trying to do tryinmybest , is help you preserve your privacy by using creative writting... if you read the rules , you will see how this method is described here. its not necessary to use creative writing when talking about taking drugs (especially if there prescribed- its not illegal). but it is necessary when talking about extracting/creating/ supplying drugs - and other similair Illegal activites. this forum wishes to keep running in the light of harm reduction and does not wish to be closed down by the authorities and i believe this is why it insists on these rules, also ex-junkie was probably just being polite man ..... please dont get me wrong im not having a go .... im just trying to explain thats all .... if you wish for any advice on how best to tackle this situation then i would suggest checking out what ex-junkie says re-garding the use of bu-prenorphine - maybe this would be a better choice for you? if you have genuine pain - i must stress again - its ok to take pain meds - if you feel its a problem then there is a lot of info already offered on how best to tackle it...... if none of it appeals to you then please feel free to PM me and I will try my best to offer all the knowledge i have on the subject of pain management (i have an extensive ammount of it) take care man - and peace O

Oneiromancer added 8 Minutes and 32 Seconds later...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Der Alte Kreiger View Post
One thing it helps me to reemember is that the only thing to fear is fear itself. It just gets just so bad and thats as bad as it gets, nobody dies from opiate withdrawals alone. Fear feads on fear and for me the nerves are the worst part of WDs. Its nothing you cant handle if you keep a handle on it. You can do it, its not that bad
great advice here - i think tis completely posssible and real that fear and negative emotions in general actually INCREASE pain in all of its connotations - not just withdrawal pain...... fear alone cannot kill us ..... and as has been quite correctly said by D A Kreiger - neither can opiate withdrawal on its own...... never under-estimate your own strength tryinmybest - never

Last edited by Dickon; 01-04-2011 at 08:20. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
  #12  
Old 30-03-2011, 18:51
Der Alte Kreiger Der Alte Kreiger is offline
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Re: Trying to get off methadone alone

Quote:
Originally Posted by Oneiromancer View Post
i think tis completely posssible and real that fear and negative emotions in general actually INCREASE pain in all of its connotations - not just withdrawal pain...... fear alone cannot kill us .....
Dixie says:
"Fear is half of the WD experience for me. Fear exists, you can feel it in yourself, percieve it in the air, animals sense it the same as they sense fresh blood. Its real shit but it only exists on a mental level. You can only defeat it with mental effort.
After decades of WDing hundreds of times from poly drug addictions I feel I can speak in an educated manner on the subject. I believe I know about as much about it as the man who invented WDing and once you realize the fear is the result of a drug all you have to deal with is the body symptoms which, at the risk of opening a can o'worms, much like a bad case of the flu.

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excellent post- honest, brave, and positively addressing the heart of addiction - bravo
  #13  
Old 30-03-2011, 19:49
Oneiromancer Oneiromancer is offline
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Re: Trying to get off methadone alone

Der Alte Kreiger,

i can so identify with all of that

i see fear as something far more tangible then the ethereal - incorporeal - feeling that many think it is

fear can define us - in the form of addiction fear hides behind its own shadow and turns us against ourselves - we think that we are trapped - we think that we are a slave - we think fear is our master and we are to scared to face fear and stop using...

fear is just a emotion - it is a part of us - and necessary for survival

the successful recovering addict - who manages to quit any substamce
is not controlled by his/her emotions when it comes to withdrawal..

...he dominates them

Last edited by Dickon; 01-04-2011 at 08:20. Reason: qwp
  #14  
Old 30-03-2011, 20:53
tryinmybest tryinmybest is offline
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Re: Trying to get off methadone alone

Thanks everyone for your advice.

You know what's funny, I didn't know I was a junkie until I tried to stop taking the pills.

My doctors made me this way, and I was stupid enough to let them. I was, and still am desperate.

I failed, I took a 5mg pill this morning. At about 6am, I just couldn't take it any more, I either started screaming and wake up my wife and baby who are sleeping in the next room now, or take the pill. The choice was obvious.

This will never end, its either the pain from my condition PLUS the pain of the withdraw, or the severe pain of my condition alone, either way, I can't stand living like this anymore.

Something has to change, but there just isn't a way out.
  #15  
Old 31-03-2011, 09:20
Oneiromancer Oneiromancer is offline
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Re: Trying to get off methadone alone

tryinmybest,

this doesnt sound so good to hear you say this man...

...listen , you can get through this ....the fact that you have come on here and started talking about this is a good thing , it really is. i think you have already mentioned a very good point. you have said that you can either have the pain from your condition AND withdrawal pains - or JUST the pain of your condition...

...its easy for me to say because I am not in your position - but for me the decision is an easy one... I think its better that you just deal with your condition rather than forcing your self to withdraw ASWELL....

im putting my neck out a bit by advising this - but i really think that you should speak to your doctor about ALL of this ... and say to him/her ** I dont want to suffer; i want to manage my pain effectively , but i want addiction to be kept to a minimal because its affecting my self esteem **...... if you say this to a good doctor (if you havent got a good one - then get one!) then the doctor will help you - no decent doctor will let a patient suffer if they can help it all (its part of their hypocratic oath) and they will do the best to alleviate pain whilst keeping addiction potential to a minimum (another part of their oath is **Primum non nocere**; - which means **First , do no harm**

I hope you find this advice helpfull man....
... ... like i say to everyone who is suffering here.... my inbox is there for you.........

take it easy (seriously)

Last edited by Dickon; 01-04-2011 at 08:21. Reason: qwp
  #16  
Old 31-03-2011, 11:33
ex-junkie ex-junkie is offline
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Re: Trying to get off methadone alone

Quote:
Originally Posted by tryinmybest View Post

This will never end, its either the pain from my condition PLUS the pain of the withdraw, or the severe pain of my condition alone, either way, I can't stand living like this anymore.

Something has to change, but there just isn't a way out.
You should discuss alternative methods of pain relief with your doctor. There are other options available that do not make one feel like a zombie, or depressed with life.

Morphine springs to mind. It is very mild compared to methadone, though it can't be dosed once daily. Buprenorphine is another option. If your pain condition is genuine, then stopping pain medication all together just seems a bit counterproductive to me.

Speak to your doctor. If you don't like what he/she says, or if he/she shrugs you off, then find another doctor who will listen. Making phone contact first is essential, so you're not run around in circles having to pay through the nose. Ring around, see who actually gives a fuck enough to listen to your issue, and see what they recommend. No point paying for a service that isn't going to deliver.

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excellent , honest and straight forward advice
  #17  
Old 01-04-2011, 00:06
Oneiromancer Oneiromancer is offline
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Re: Trying to get off methadone alone

ex-junkie,

this is f*cking excellent advice (pardon my language.

seriously tryinmybest , please dont make yourself go without pain relief - you genuinely need it... i urge you to speak to your docotor about all of this

if its affecting your self esteem and you feel like an addict taking meds - then tell your doctor

come to an arrangement and medication regimen that does the following :

1 - provides adequate - but not excessive , pain relief
2 - does not make you feel completely f*cked up
3 - enables you to enjoy your life

You only have one life - make the most of it - this is not a permanent thing that we have here. Our lives have a beginning and an end.

all we can control is the bit in the middle - make it worth while tryinmybest - fill your life with peace, fulfilment and happiness

Please don’t waste it with fear and suffering

i hope what i have said helps

if you want further advice PM me if you like

Last edited by Dickon; 01-04-2011 at 08:21. Reason: qwp
  #18  
Old 01-04-2011, 07:26
tryinmybest tryinmybest is offline
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Re: Trying to get off methadone alone

ex-junkie,

I can't turn to my doctor for help, and I'm not going to tell him when I'm clean, I'm going to just keep getting the prescriptions and save them for a rainy day like I did when I quit before for a couple months.

The doctor is an ass. He is responsible for this, because I'm disabled, and on disability. If I go against his advice, disability can cut me off, then my wife and our baby will starve because of me. I'm barely hanging on as it is on my disability for all 3 of us, I cannot jeopardize that.

If I can ever work again, I will, but I doubt it, I don't want this, I want to work, and I can't, and I'm not much of a man anymore, reduced to being a useless tit now.

I probably should be on the meds, but I can't live with myself when I am, I hate myself, and what I have become, and what I am like when I am in pain or on the meds. I have nothing but guilt for letting everyone down. No, I'm no man anymore, just a shell of the one I used to be.

I've talked to my doctor many times about alternative medications, but this is the last ditch attempt to bring my pain under control, and it failed. It helps, but not much anymore, it just makes life go from wanting to blow my head off from the pain, to being able to exist as a shell. What great choices I have.

I cannot change doctors, as I likve in a small community in Nova Scotia, and have to travel an hour to them as it is, and cannot find a better doctor than him, because at least HE will prescribe pain meds, when the others will not.

The pain clinic is useless at the hospital, I waited 3 years to get in there, went to 3 appointments and then quit, because they just told me to go to support groups, who would not even return my calls. Screw them, screw them all.

Nobody wants to help me, they are all arrogant, and couldn't care less about me.

I'm just stuck here, stuck in limbo with no way out.

My wife and new baby daughter are all that keep me going to be honest, before I met her, I walked up to the bridge, stood there, ready to jump, but the bridge patrol seen me on their cameras, and drove over to see what I was up to, just standing there at the 400 ft height looking down on the harbor below, I pretended to be taking pictures, when really, I just wanted to video the way down. That;s how low I've been with all of this.

I'm not at that point in my life anymore, but I'm afraid if I ever get that bad again, I might. I know I'm a burden to my wife, but she just says with a tear in her eye "I chose this", which doesn't make me feel any better about how I effect her life, and wear her out.

Don't worry, I'm NOT suicidal, I'm just sharing where I've come from, and where I never want to be ever again, something inside me burns, a tiny flame that no matter how hard it gets, something just keeps me going, and I can only imagine it's because I have unfinished business here still.

I just don't know what that is, aside from being there for my family, which is the thing I'm just trying to do, but not doing very well, in fact, since I started trying to make thing better, I've made them a hundred times worse.

I don't know what to do next.

I can't stand living ON the pills, nor without them, how can I create an alternative choice? Can I?

Or am I just screwed like I feel I am?

tryinmybest added 23 Minutes and 32 Seconds later...

By the way, if any of you have noticed, there are ALOT of changes coming in the word that we are familiar with, and only the strong will survive. I am not strong.

Not anymore.

Last edited by Dickon; 01-04-2011 at 08:22. Reason: qwp
  #19  
Old 01-04-2011, 07:44
Killa Weigha Killa Weigha is offline
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Re: Trying to get off methadone alone

Bruh, it cannot be sugar coated. Methadone is a fucked up substance to be hooked on. My "pet" had to get back on heroin to get off methadone. that''s how fucked up methadone and it's ilk are. Also, hate to say this but my pet felt it necessary to send his wife and new child to grandma's house for a month whilst he cold-turkeyed. Unfortunately, your situation is diff cuz you have real pain issues so it seems. You got two choices it would seem. get on some real opiates or cold turkey and deal. There's really no in between on this. good luck ya - I feel ya.
  #20  
Old 01-04-2011, 08:18
Dickon Dickon is offline
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Re: Trying to get off methadone alone

People - you don't need to quote whole posts in replying to people. It makes the thread difficult to read, and it adds noise, since the post being quoted now appears twice. It also makes work; I've had to edit out 7 whole posts quoted in a total of 18 replies in this thread! Quoting small relevant pieces of posts is absolutely fine. These I have left in.

Thanks for bearing this in mind

Dickon

Last edited by Dickon; 01-04-2011 at 08:23.
  #21  
Old 02-04-2011, 02:39
ex-junkie ex-junkie is offline
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Re: Trying to get off methadone alone

Quote:
Originally Posted by tryinmybest View Post
ex-junkie,

I can't turn to my doctor for help, and I'm not going to tell him when I'm clean, I'm going to just keep getting the prescriptions and save them for a rainy day like I did when I quit before for a couple months.
This statement is flawed. If your doctor does not know what is going on with you, how is he supposed to know how to treat you appropriately? Saving prescriptions for "rainy days" is another issue in itself. Does this mean that your definition of extreme pain equates to a "rainy day"? I find that odd.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tryinmybest View Post

The doctor is an ass. He is responsible for this, because I'm disabled, and on disability. If I go against his advice, disability can cut me off, then my wife and our baby will starve because of me. I'm barely hanging on as it is on my disability for all 3 of us, I cannot jeopardize that.
It sounds like you are blaming your doctor for being disabled, and on disability. It is not his fault. Heavy duty opioids ARE addictive. They DO tend to make people feel like shit, once addicted. They ARE difficult to get off of. None of this is your doctor's fault.

I'd also like to point out that if you can't speak to your doctor about your psychosocial issues, then he can only continue to treat your biomedical symptoms= with methadone. When doctors prescribe drugs for pain, they need to assess your psychosocial condition also. I think you'll find that doctors are a lot more understanding when a patient comes to them and tells them, "My pain management medication is getting in the way of me being a good partner and father. It is affecting my psychological health and I don't like the person I am on this drug, but I need to manage this condition effectively."

Methadone is known to make people feel the way you are describing, so it's not like you're chasing drugs to get high from. There is scientific evidence to back up what are you saying. Doctors are aware of these symptoms, and if they're not, they have access to the internet and literature to confirm this. I honestly cannot see why this doctor would not listen to you, and if he's tried other medications in the past, then he shouldn't have an issue switching to something else.

There is nothing wrong with calmly speaking to your doctor about feeling like you're in a shell. At the very worst, you should just walk out and still be on methadone yeah? You sound like you're going to stop taking it either way, which is going to make you feel worse if you're in pain. At this point in time, I think you've got nothing to lose. Just talk to him. It's not everyday that we have to worry about looking after a newborn baby and I honestly think that this would make him more understanding.

Post Quality Evaluations:
Very helpful suggestions, despite the somewhat inconsiderate response.
  #22  
Old 02-04-2011, 05:50
tryinmybest tryinmybest is offline
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Re: Trying to get off methadone alone

I didn't think anyone would understand. Guess I'm on my own.
  #23  
Old 02-04-2011, 06:54
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Re: Trying to get off methadone alone

^ ^
That is a somewhat thoughtless thing to say since a lot of people have been trying to help you on this thread.

Perhaps it would help it you clarified what we don't understand. It would be useful to know what you would like to happen in an ideal world.

You have mentioned a brain injury earlier on, it would be useful to know more about this, and understand a bit more about your chronic pain condition. If you feel you can come off the methadone then are you going to need some alternative pain management therapy.

The need to stockpile methadone "for a rainy day" seems very iffy, at least if you really want to get off it. It seems to me to be tied in with some kind of not letting go. Maybe you are holding on to certain things you don't need to?

Again, if we don't understand, it's most likely because you've not explained yourself.

All the best

Dickon
  #24  
Old 02-04-2011, 20:41
tryinmybest tryinmybest is offline
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Re: Trying to get off methadone alone

Great, now I'm thoughtless.
I didn't come here to be attacked.

You expect me to have the ability to be careful and thoughtful of other people's feelings and sensitivities in the way I say things when I cannot even stand or understand my OWN feelings.

i can't possibly explain everything when I cannot even think, the fact that you got as much info from me as you did amazes me that I was able to type it.

Saving my meds for a "rainy day" has nothing to do with letting go, I WISH I could let go of all of this, the pain, the meds, ALL of it, but I cannot, I didn't ask for any of this shit. NONE of it. And I'm angry about it. VERY angry. I don't want the pain any more, and i can't just one day decide to let go of it, that's not how it works.

I ONLY mentioned saving the additional meds in case my doctor tells me to get lost when I have it out with him, so I'll have at least SOME comfort for awhile.

You seem to take it for granted that there MUST be good and understanding doctors out there when there are NONE. This is Canada, and doctors are terrible here. Our medical system is in real trouble.

Sorry to have offended anyone, maybe this was a mistake.
  #25  
Old 02-04-2011, 21:19
Killa Weigha Killa Weigha is offline
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Re: Trying to get off methadone alone

No, you came to THE right place. There are tons of threads about your situation and if you haven't had your specific question answered to your satisfaction try and rephrase it. No one here takes your situation lightly. Try a search of "pain management" in the search engine above.

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