So, I'm an opiate junkie... Who knew?

[bonkers419]

Ya, so, I'm an opiate junkie... Who knew? Not me. I had no clue I was a junkie when I first tried oxycontin about 10 months ago. I traded a dime bag of weed for a 40mg pill. I didn't even know what oxycontin was at the time. Without delay, I crushed it up with my lighter, chopped it a bit with my bank card, rolled a bill up and hooted the whole in a second.

Oh, what a f*cking rush. Nothing will ever compare with that first time. I sat back on the couch with a huge grin on my face as after a moment I was hit with a f*cking freight train of euphoria. This is what I always imagined what people meant when they shot up heroin. The f*cking rush! Oh my god, everything was just fine with me for the next few moments.

After the rush died down, I was certainly buzzed unlike ever before. I began to drive to my girlfriend's house. On the way, I started feeling nauseous and actually had to rush to the bathroom upon arrival, at which point I definitely hurled.

The rest of that night is foggy, but since then it's been a f*cking mission to me. Retrieving opiates, doing opiates, finding money for opiates. Since that night of OC, I've done morphine, fentanyl, heroin, Roxycontin, and more OC whenever I can get my hands on it. It's f*cking up my life big time and I'm drowning in debt. I've done all the stereotypical things to score: lying, stealing, borrowing money left and right. It's not pleasent and it's going to blow up in my face soon, I know it.

Right now I'm miserable because it's been 4 days since any opiates. I had some heroin last Thursday, and now I'm feeling like shit. I hate withdrawal, but I know it's for the best. If not to quit, but to lower my tolerance so I don't have to spend as much when I score next. If you'd like to read more about this self-torture, feel free to read my blog. Link below.

http://bonkers419.blogspot.com/

P.S. This is one f*cked up smiley. (in more ways than one)

[raven3davis]

Not good mate! SWIM wishes you the best of luck. He has never experienced opiate addiction but hears it is the worst. If you have gone 4 days try to go longer. You will have to eventually stop taking these drugs or they will eventually bite you in the ass harder than they ever kissed you on the cheek.

[bonkers419]

Thanks for responding. Let me tell you, it sucks when you're trying to quit and your girl calls you up, saying she just got $100 from her mom and wanting me to see if we can get something for tonight. Although I did call my dude(yes, I know I'm weak ), he was on his way out of town, so it was a no-go. Lucky, I guess. I'm really feeling a lot better. The physical withdrawal is much less evident on the 4th day as compared to the 2nd or 3rd.

Anyways, I really need to have a talk with my girl and get some sh*t sorted out.

Peace.

[motorhead]

Ya if you got 4 days in might as well take it all the way, since you dont seem to be enjoying yourself anymore. I mean sure drugs feel good, but once you get to a point of self realization where overall youre making yourself feel like crap and you're bemoaning your situation you might as well stop.

Originally Posted by bonkers419

If not to quit, but to lower my tolerance so I don't have to spend as much when I score next.

In my experience this never works, its kind of an opiate addicts pipe dream. Anyway, good luck with whatever you do.

PS: o ya find out who swim is. he's kinda cool in a 3rd person sort of way. lets not incriminate ourselves.