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Opiate addiction Support for coping with Opiate addiction and Opiate addiction treatment.

 
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  #1  
Old 22-08-2003, 18:39
lost lost is offline
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Boyfriend with heroin addiction and multiple relapses- what can I do?

My boyfriend is a heroin addict. I have accepted that and am trying to support him as much as I can however, I am starting to lose faith.He has tried to kick it on several occasions. He went to rehab, tried cold turkey, and even took valium for a few days and made it through 4 days of hellish withdraw. As soon as he began to feel well again he used again and turned into a monster until he got some. I know it is up to him to get clean. I know he is the only one who can do it and he has to do it for himself. He tells me night after night he is never going to do it again because he sees how much he hurts me and us and that he doesn't want to be a prisoner to the drug. He wants to get married and live happily ever after. Does anyone have any suggestions for me? I am at rock bottom and I don't know if I can take anymore.
  #2  
Old 24-08-2003, 23:12
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I do not want to give you much hope as there usually is not much hope, if youre realistic. There is one remedy that probably will work, but it may be lethal. It is Iboga or eboga, an African Shrub. Strong psychedelic and strong anti-addictive. XXXXXXXX

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  #3  
Old 31-08-2003, 06:12
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I used herion for many years and it's hard to beat. The withdrawls are so painfull. I'm sure he wants to quit but it's so hard. Be carful of methadone, it's more addictive than herion. Get him in a good rehab then get him a shrink that deals with additcs. Addiction recovery or something like that, that is if he really wants to quit. Good luck.............................................. ..................
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Old 31-08-2003, 15:59
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Thank you for all of your responses. My friend is currently quitting cold turkey for the second time. He uses valium, sleeping pills, and ibuprofin to get through the pain. He says it is the worst thing in the world. After not doing heroin for 4 or 5 days he says his body no longer craves the drug at all. He says it's his mind that makes him want to do it. He feels so bad about all of the pain and suffering he has caused his family and friends that he goes straight back to getting high to relieve his guilt. He can be crying about how moch he hates his life and heroin and how much it is ruining everything. He will swear this is the end this time and then half an hour later be looking for some. Is this ongoing circle typical? Will it ever end?The informative web sites only tell you so much, I want to hear from people who have been there. Thanks everyone!
  #5  
Old 16-09-2003, 04:18
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Lost. Yes. This is clasic behavor. I used for over 20 years. It took me 13 times in rehab and several years in prison to finially stop. I even used in the joint. But every day of those 20 years I wanted to stop. I went through what he is many times"alot because I couldn't find any dope", and one day I said No More! That was the best thing I ever did. He has to really want to quit, not just say it. He can say he is useing for any reason, a million. The test will be when the demons come. If he can beat them he will be OK. Best of luck. Keep me posted. You can send me a PM and we can talk more...................
  #6  
Old 15-01-2004, 12:48
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lost


i feel exactly the same as u my brother is just like your boyfriend wanting to give up but u know he is back on it again


for the second time now he is relapsing and it is hell for ther whole family.
  #7  
Old 18-04-2004, 18:29
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I've heard very good things about Ibogaine treatment for addicts. It isn't easily available or cheap (I believe their are off-shore clinics due to legality). There are some risks, but it is surely worth consideration. There have been reports of the Ibogaine experience (which is hallucinegenic) removing both the physical craving, but more significantly the mental also. erowid.org will have more info
  #8  
Old 14-05-2004, 15:49
lost lost is offline
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I want to thank everyone for all of their advice. The update is that he has quit sooooooooo many times and then relapsed. One time he even stopped for over a month. He is at a breaking point right now. He says he is so tired of being a slave to heroin. He hates it. He says that he doesn't even enjoy it anymore and only does enough so that he can function at work and not feel sick. He just wants to be free. I actually believe this time that he has had enough of this lifestyle and all of the shit that goes with it (losing friends, no money, car accident, court, etc...) Unfortuantly he can't get off of work for a few days to go through the withdraw process. He tries but then has to give in because of the sickness he feels. Any tips on how to detox and still function during a 6 day work week? Is there any way to?
  #9  
Old 15-05-2004, 07:19
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Lost,



Some employers offer recovery pograms via medical benafits. Since your b/f is apparently f/t (full time) he may qualify.



I recommend you examine his employment data regarding medical benefits.



If he IS covered, then he's going to have to make an unbreakable commitment to quit as he will likely be subject to regular testing.



I wish I had better news. It has been nine months since your original post. Your loyalty is commendable, but if all continues as it has then sooner or later you'll have to leave him for your own good.



I know it's a lot to say not knowing the contingencies of YOUR particular situation (joint property, accounts, kids, etc.), but you WILL eventually have to acknowledge that this is a problem that YOU have no control over, and you will need to take defensive action.



Sorry if this sounds harsh. Maybe I don't have the brain right now to make it sound the way I mean it.
  #10  
Old 17-05-2004, 03:44
lost lost is offline
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Thanks Woodman. Your response wasn't too harsh. I appreciate your advice.


He is going to take a few days off this weekend and go through with the process on his own. Hopefully all will go well!!!<img border="0" src= "smileys/smiley1.gif">
  #11  
Old 05-12-2008, 00:15
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Re: Boyfriend with heroin addiction and multiple relapses- what can I do?

Suboxone, if this drug is used correctly you can get swiy's boyfriend off heroin. You should look up the nearest doctor on www.suboxone.com
You should try to make sure that he quickly figures out a dose that is good for him, probably about 1 8mg pill a day, then have the amount cut down a 1/4th of a pill a day until he is on about 1/4 an 8 mg subo a day then he can taper off that very slowly. Swim has been on suboxone for about 7 months and that was my mistake. The doctor told me to plan on staying on the drug for 6 months to a year but from what iv read people with a short stay on suboxone are much more successful. Everyone that has been on it as long as I have say that it is nearly impossible to get off. But this is a good option you should definetly consider because it blocks the effects so using is pointless and makes you feel great. done right this can cure heroin addiction.
  #12  
Old 05-12-2008, 13:59
dyingtomorrow dyingtomorrow is offline
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Re: Boyfriend with heroin addiction and multiple relapses- what can I do?

Sometimes heroin addicts say they want to get off for the sake of their family and friends, but inside have no intention of doing it, for the simple fact that for many people even though it has destroyed their life, it is the only way for them to cope with the present (especially after ruining so much) or think of a future for themselves.

Does your BF have a history of depression? The only possibility might be going to a shrink (many can be found with a double specialization in addiction and depression), and get him on something else to make him feel normal first before trying to get/stay off heroin.

Sorry to hear your dilemma. Please let us know how it continues to go.
  #13  
Old 05-12-2008, 16:40
ScorpioSunshine ScorpioSunshine is offline
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Re: Boyfriend with heroin addiction and multiple relapses- what can I do?

Swim isn't sure if the OP will answer since this thread is four years old.

Very nice of you two to step in, though.
  #14  
Old 10-12-2008, 18:21
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Re: Boyfriend with heroin addiction and multiple relapses- what can I do?

Hmm, never check that and didn't even notice. Maybe someone will search for it in the future and be glad they found some responses. I have found so many old threads on google searches before I came here that I wanted the answer to sooo bad but were long dead.
  #15  
Old 24-12-2008, 09:42
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Re: Boyfriend with heroin addiction and multiple relapses- what can I do?

I used heroin for 10 years. Through that time I never wanted to stop. I thought I would always feel this way and had accepted it, I never lied to family about it just that I couldn't stop because the heroin was so much better than the depression. Then one day about a year ago the depression stopped and I no longer wanted to use heroin. After I wanted to stop it was so easy. However previously when I wanted to stop, only for lack of money it was impossible. If he really wants to stop it is easy, if he doesn't then you have to decide whether you want to live with an addict or not while you wait until he changes his mind, it may never come.
  #16  
Old 07-06-2010, 15:53
sammy123 sammy123 is offline
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Re: Boyfriend with heroin addiction and multiple relapses- what can I do?

I have the same problem my boyfriend keeps having relapes. and he lie about it to me after i caught him doing. i had enough i didnt ever want to see him again but i love him too much to just leave him i want to help him. but everytime this had happened he talks about how much he hates that stuff and he never wants to touch it again, its ruined his life, he wants to get married and have children and i want that with him too. but i can not trust him and i can not believe that this time he really does mean what he says because it only last for a week and then he go back and does it. in the past every situation he has been in has made him need it like getting a new job, making new friends, getting bad news, not liking his new job, getting scaked from his job, having daily arguments with his family and me, not having a job for 6 months and not looking for one everything all these things make him go back to using. i know this wont be his last time its because i know when he gets a job it will happen again even more because he has a job and money. i cant marry this man and have children with him but i loove him too much too leave him but then am i holding my self back from having a life beacuse i am holding on to him. I dont know what to do. i cry myself to sleep and i feel like i am depressed because of it.
  #17  
Old 07-06-2010, 16:54
ImALumberjackAndImOK ImALumberjackAndImOK is offline
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Re: Boyfriend with heroin addiction and multiple relapses- what can I do?

There is a HUGE problem with the way addiction is handled in our culture. Once a person is labeled an addict, it communicates to them that it is who they are, and they will create a sense of self around the label. For most, this creates a terrible negative-feedback loop or a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You mentioned that his depression is fueled by guilt, and this leads to relapse. This is exactly the kind of problem that arises under the current social system and medical model for addiction treatment. This doesn't mean that the terms "drug addict" or "addiction" are rendered meaningless, but it has severe implications for the way we discuss the process for recovery.

Step one: STOP thinking about addiction as a disease. Yes, the body functions abnormally. Yes, addiction is associated with many negative symptoms, including pain and compulsive behavior. If we follow this logic, then "withdrawal" is a "disease," when clearly it isn't. Addiction is a constellation of symptoms associated with many discrete underlying causes. These are the diseases. These are what need to be treated. Focusing on "addiction," especially this early in recovery, will only exacerbate the feelings of guilt.

Step two: Identify the TRUE disease. Does he have compulsive tendencies? Is he suffering from drug-related psychosis? These are the things that professionals are truly capable of treating. More importantly, they are things that YOU can help him with. Surely your relationship has a lot going on in it, and hopefully a lot going for it. Focus on these things, and his life in general, and identify areas where he might have wrong assumptions. Help him cope with the external and internal stress. (SWIM enjoys many herbs and supplements to cope with stress: passionflower, valerian, chamomile, B-vitamins, L-theanine, and copious amounts of marijuana.)

Step three: STOP USING HEROIN. Help him find something else to fill that void in his life. Research something called "Rational Recovery" or "Addictive Voice Recognition Therapy". Clearly he has enough willpower to fight the addictive voice, but winning or losing a few battles is less important than the outcome of the war. More importantly, YOU need to learn how to recognize the addictive voice, and find creative ways to get it out of his mind. Maybe you can call the voice a silly name and treat it as though it's a ghost. Ghosts can be scary until we get to know them, learn what they want, and be comfortable with their presence. The important thing is to MAKE PEACE WITH HIS GHOSTS. Believe me, it's not easy, and sometimes you take two steps forward and three steps back, but then you need to take four steps forward.

I wish you and your boyfriend the best in the recovery process. Hopefully this has helped.

Peace and Love.

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Fantastic first post!Opens the topic up to a wider perspective & offers several coping techniques for OP. Excellent!
I do not entirely with some of this, but nevertheless think it's a well thought out post with a clear and interesting perspective.
  #18  
Old 07-06-2010, 18:41
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Re: Boyfriend with heroin addiction and multiple relapses- what can I do?

Lost, I am rather sorry to hear about your situation. Seeing someone try to fight off the "heroin demons" through withdrawal and recovery is a very sad sight as well as a very difficult thing to deal with.

In these situations I would use SWIM as an alias but it will be easier to help you by referring to myself as myself.

I've spent 5 years of my life telling myself every day that I am never going to shoot heroin again, soon followed by me losing my control and going out and getting some. In my time doing dope I've spent well over $40,000 on drugs and it has completely turned my life upside down. I've burnt almost all my bridges to all those who once loved and cared for me due to my total lack of self control. I've have had a lot of bad things happen to me that I've used as excuses to continue to get high as opposed to seeking therapy instead. I've been to several detox's, 90-day programs, more NA meeting than I could ever try to count and it's all come down to me learning only one thing about this addiction that holds true: The only way your going to quit is if you want to quit. After spending however much time doing the drug, it becomes part of you. Without the high you feel incomplete- like your missing part of your identity almost. After spending all that time getting high you it's very difficult to remember how to fill in the pieces. While most "normal" people have an agenda, things to do, and an idea of what to do in their free time, dope addicts spend all their free time getting high, being high, or trying to get high. It's when you decide that you don't want that feeling as a part of you that you can begin recovery. I know that I personally haven't made that decision yet and I pay for it every day physically, mentally and especially monetarily.

I do wish you and your boyfriend the best of luck. I suggest you have him look into Suboxone as it is a good starting place. It helps with the physical cravings as well as the mental cravings. It also blocks the opioid receptors in your brain which also makes it nearly impossible to shoot up and get high. With that and someone to help him find something to do in the void of spare time he is going to have, he should be well on the road to recovery. Best of luck.

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  #19  
Old 08-06-2010, 22:43
chunkmanshaun chunkmanshaun is offline
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Re: Boyfriend with heroin addiction and multiple relapses- what can I do?

swim went through alot of shit to get off but was only addicted for 2 years slamming after about 7 months ago swims friends family started growing apart from swim so what swim did was take off for 6 months and refused meds after an ongoing mental psychosis that lasted 3 months swim began feeling a vibrant normal feeling gradually taking hold as if the physicle feeling of pain gone exceedid the heroin high and tell your bf that it is going to be a ruff half year aint gonna lie its harsh for the first months but if he gets away from his surroundings mentally he will show some effort cause the mind will go through alot of regret and he will begin a thinking phase on what he can do better in life and how he doesnt need it anymore after about 6 months everything grows slowly back to normal and his mood will elevate better than when he never did heroin at all he if thats the case the reason why the mental problems arise is because your emotions were on vacation for a very long time when ur on the stuff so when the emotions and brain thinking functions come back it will cause a huge mental crash swim thought he was going mental for a little bit for the first months and had no advice to tell him its normal anxiety and addiction is a horrible thing but if u do things right he will succeed with 89% guarrenteed with this method after hes gone through withdrawl physicle pain exorcise is a must it will release seritonin and endorphins that were once paralyzed during use of the drug but dont rush its alot of patience and effort that takes some time to heal but this is my method swim has quit 7 times before he did this method and although at times overwhelming swim lives in his town still knows active users but has no desire to use cause the amount of time and mental/physicle pain swim went through was unbarable to go through again i hope this helps cause i never got any advice or help to get off heroin
  #20  
Old 17-06-2010, 01:01
onzero onzero is offline
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Re: Boyfriend with heroin addiction and multiple relapses- what can I do?

The mental part, particularly for heroin, is the hardest part to overcome.

That's the biggest misconception about addiction, most people think that once people get over the physical agony of withdrawal, it'll be easy to just "go back to the way things were" and "snap out of it" in fact, the temptation to use is much greater once a person has broken free of the acute withdrawal phase and is no longer dependent on the chemical.

Because then the mind starts playing tricks on the person, it says "well now you aren't dependent on it, so you can use it recreationally and not be a junkie, just like before you became dependent!"

Which is, for lack of a better phrasing, just not the way it works. After going through the physical withdrawal the person is left with a feeling of increased confidence, euphoria (particularly a cavalier attitude towards his own drug use) alternating with feelings of emptiness... in other words there is still a lot of psychological re-balancing that has to occur..

It's wrong to think that a person will never want to get high again, especially on heroin, since it is just a fantastic drug. People don't want to be junkies, addicts, or experience the turmoil and depression of addiction, but that doesn't mean they dont want to get high, they just don't want the drug to control their life, which is an inevitable consequence of use.

It usually takes several detoxes for a person to really understand how it works, and that once a person becomes addicted/dependent they are hardwired to relapse under subsequent exposure to the drug.

This is why you mention that after he withdrew, tried heroin again, he became a "monster" and had to get some more... because when he took that first hit after being free of the dependency (and I use the term "free" loosely in this sense, as you will realize in a way he will never be truly "free" of it again) his neurological systems underwent a rapid restructuring that put heroin use above all else, he wasn't yet physically dependent again, but the "psychological" aspect of addiction kicked in and put him in a position that will essentially cause him to use compulsively until he is fully dependent again.

This is why addicts are referred to as "in recovery" perpetually, because the potential for relapse is always very high, and even isolated exposure to the drug typically results in a full blown binge relapse.
  #21  
Old 17-06-2010, 01:13
PapaSmokes PapaSmokes is offline
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Re: Boyfriend with heroin addiction and multiple relapses- what can I do?

Have him start trying more psychedelics. DMT, LSD, Psilocybin. Iboga if you can find it. Swim used XTC to kick his crack cocaine happen, totally different i know.

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