The Meaning of Life

[Silence_Inc]

swim hates looking for the meaning of life on drugs - cause you end up with this idea that is as big as a point - and he's like focussing to put this little point/thought into something in the room untill it fits.

i have a friend that saw the meaning of life in a wiggling insence thing ... he was wiggling it for already 30 minutes - looking at the little flame going left to right ... focussing until he suddenly said. oh my god - that's it! ... what's what? ... this - this insence beholds so much meaning man! ... yeah? explain ... pretty hard to explain ...

it was something that when wigglin it moved from left to right - so it passed between two dualities - while never being in the middle constant - BUT - when you wiggle an insence like this - the middle is the most illuminated thing you see ... try it ...

anyway - while he was doing that already 1 complete magnificent album of the doors passed by - and i bet he didn't hear it because he was to busy thinking...

that's why swim don't like to find meaning on drugs - he likes to listen and look arround.

but the insence thing was funny though

[Antidote]

SWIM's main belief has always been that the meaning of life is life itself... that this plane of existence is a training ground we are sent to to prepare us for the next, and our inability to completely grasp the nature of our reality is testament to our role in that reality.

Reputation Comments on this post:

articulate and intelligent, it would have taken me 2 paragraphs of babble to express those opinions.

[Phungushead]

Isn't it crazy that there is so much in the world that we don't know... and
that so much of it is about ourselves...

My personal belief is that the meaning of life is to find meaning in life...
meaning is a concept of your own human mind and you are the one most
qualified to discover it in yourself during your existance... I do not believe
there is one true meaning to life - after all, there is more than one life, eh?

Perhaps my life is one big joke that I will one day get the punchline to...

Reputation Comments on this post:

	I like your thoughts on this subject
	Great explination of the meaning of life. Phungushead and I have many of the same ideas and he knows his shit about shr...

[CrookedEye]

Swim has figured it out numerous times, but only through repeated efforts can he begin to explain it, unless he is in that state.. The more high dose LSD trips he experiences, the more "real" it is each time, confounding his views on the whole thing everyone calls reality, but he'll leave it at that before he gets laughed off the forum.. BTW, as stated earlier, the only meaning is to find happiness/fullfillment, in swim's opinion...

[blue_eyes]

Very interesting comments everyone!

I like what Phungushead said. SWIM hasn't discovered her own meaning of life, nor does she feel the need to find it right now. SWIM feels that maybe she is meant to discover her meaning of life when she is ready to depart from this life! Maybe finding one's meaning of life happens in the last sentence, in the last paragraph, in the last chapter of the book that tells the tale of their life. Like Phungushead said: The punchline!

SWIM has, however, had many pivitol moments while on drugs. She often discovers a much deeper understanding of various situations/people/people's motives/how other people percieve her own motives & actions (among many other things), to the point where her future actions/thoughts/emotions on the subject become much more productive/constructive/useful in her life, and the lives of other people affected by the situation.

I know that's all a bit wordy to read, but putting it any other way would fail to describe the massive scope of how drugs assist SWIM to discover deeper meanings and better ways to handle situations. The way I wrote it just then doesn't even describe how impactful the whole concept is in SWIM's life.

Oh, and SWIM usually remembers these things after the high too. She may not have all the details in her head to start with, but usually, when she's dealing with the said issue/topic, the thoughts she had while high usually come back to her. For SWIM, realisations that are real and justified don't change when she's straight. They are still real, and she usually remembers them. SWIM can't undo knowledge that she gains from her experiences (except by amnesia of course, which hasn't ever happened)

That's why SWIM has grown so much as a person because of taking drugs.

That's not to say that SWIM hasn't had completely stupid notions pop into her head during a high. She has thought up some rediculous ideas about situations, but afterwards, she realises that they are stupid ideas. I guess that gives SWIM even more conviction that she can differentiate between a true realisation and a nonsensical (brain warped) idea!

[bewilderment]

Originally Posted by TheTrueBlackMeat

Remember, a stupid person will always be stupid until they decide to stop being stupid. Until then, everything they do will just add to their stupidity.

Until they "decide" to stop being stupid? I wasn't aware anyone could due that. One could decide to no longer be ignorant, but I don't think anyone could decide not to be stupid. No one chooses their IQ. Although one can take nootropics and perhaps become more sharp and score higher on IQ tests, but that's really just the drug and once it wears off the person would be "stupid" once again. But it seems most people with lower IQs are unaware of nootropics, ironically enough.

[bewilderment]

“The first study for the man who wants to be a poet is knowledge of himself, complete: he searches for his soul, he inspects it, he puts it to the test, he learns it. As soon as he has learned it, he must cultivate it! I say that one must be a seer, make oneself a seer. The poet becomes a seer through a long, immense, and reasoned derangement of all the senses. All shapes of love suffering, madness. He searches himself, he exhausts all poisons in himself, to keep only the quintessences. Ineffable torture where he needs all his faith, all his superhuman strength, where he becomes among all men the great patient, the great criminal, the great accursed one--and the supreme Scholar! For he reaches the unknown! ....So the poet is actually a thief of Fire!” --Rimbaud (I believed that to be a fitting quote in this thread)

Swim has had many epiphanies whilst under the influence. Most are those sort of worldview-shattering sorts of which some stick, some don't, and some are still funny little fantasy ideas that are fun to toy with if you can remember them. Swim sometimes has more practical epiphanies if there's a particular problem in her life that's bothering her...drugs can sort of take her out of her reality and give her a more objective view and make changing things/behaviors which need to be changed easier. The truth is, swim doesn't remember many of these specifically, but she has noticed more radical thinking now when it comes to her general outlook on things.

As for the meaning of life? Who knows? We're not meant to know, look at our puny little human brain, do you think it's a suitable device for comprehending any sort of real "meaning" (meaning is a very abstract term) for existence? Of course not. We just have our earthworm's view of reality and that's it. Try as we may, we're all inside our little bubbles where our range of knowledge is extremely limited. Our brains have been evolved to ensure maximum survival rates which means that it is most adept at figuring out how to take care of the basic necessities and reproduce. But, we also are informavores and take pleasure in finding knowledge that may or may not be useful to us in a practical sense. Very strange creatures we are indeed.

All in all, the best thing I can come up with for the "meaning" of life is simply the experience of life, that's it. Life is an exploration where the journey is the destination.

[Montgolfier]

Originally Posted by bewilderment

All in all, the best thing I can come up with for the "meaning" of life is simply the experience of life, that's it. Life is an exploration where the journey is the destination.

SWIM agree's entirely with this, it's all about the journey, there is no final result.

SWIM has done much thinking on the subject and has come to the point where he feels that the answer to "what is the meaning of life" is the same as the question - IE the meaning of life was, is and allways will be (in all dimensions) 'what is the meaning of life'.

It's a question that cannot ever be answered, no being, god or intelligent entitiy can ever evolve itself to the point where it understands itself completely, there will allways be just one small question remaining. (like, but how did I get here in the first place?)

There is no start, end or meaning to life simply the beautiful journey within.

Reputation Comments on this post:

Exactly!

[Nagognog2]

"Stupid people talk about other people. Smart people talk about events. Brilliant people talk about ideas."

[Voices]

Originally Posted by Nagognog2

"Stupid people talk about other people. Smart people talk about events. Brilliant people talk about ideas."

If you were an Extraterrestrial anthropologist that came to earth to collect said ideas, how would you catalog them? What would define good and bad? What would define brilliant or just plain dumb?

Fiction. Reality is something we just made up. It's a control, a situational, episodal level that we can use to share our more mundane sensory constucts with others.

All the rest, everything we think about and believe is fiction. May I wax poetic?

Reflecting on a thought
About the thoughts that never mend
Is it choice or mere subconscious
That guides the hand and pen?

Or with hand and pen
Do we write ourselves
As authors of our souls?

Constantly rewriting all our troubles and our woes
Wondering why our problems never mend

Or are we just to stupid to write a happy end?

Reputation Comments on this post:

Nice!

[bewilderment]

Originally Posted by Voices

Constantly rewriting all our troubles and our woes
Wondering why our problems never mend

Or are we just to stupid to write a happy end?

Have you seen the movie waking life? Just curious because there's a scene with it exploring the idea of writing one's own life and existentialism. There's a guy sitting there writing a novel and a woman comes up and asks him what he's doing and the following brief conversation ensues:

Girl: What are you writing?

Guy: A novel.

Girl: What’s the story?

Guy: There’s no story. It’s just … people, gestures, moments, bits of rapture, fleeting emotions. In short, the greatest stories ever told.

Girl: Are you in the story?

Guy: I don’t think so. But then, I’m kind of reading it and then writing it.

[Voices]

Originally Posted by bewilderment

Have you seen the movie waking life?

Yes, that was a great movie. Second only to The Baron Munchausen in which the Baron is known to have said "And those who had the talent for doing so lived happily ever after."

Originally Posted by hh339

Meaning of life? Heres what I think:

I dug your post and you made your point very clear. One point you may have not considered is that meaning in an individual's life is subjective. It can be unique to the individual which would make billions of meaning all equally real and empirically true.

I lived in the mountains without electricity (ie no tv or radio or electric light) for a spell when younger. I loved sitting outside at night. Where I was located the sky was so dense with stars that it almost looked milky. I also noticed I learned to hear nature differently. I heard the wind in the pines like a million keys being gently played over the tune producing needles; and water, the trickling stream that was near by was beautiful on all levels I am capable of observing.

I am glad for the experience I had, and I am glad for the experience I'm having- in the city full of loud busy people. Most (imo) look sad and/or anxious but that is a part of the beauty of the tune of the city; it has it's own special music.

That is my reasoning behind saying that meaning is subjective.

[bewilderment]

I'd also like to add though that during particular delusions (are they???) of grandeur, swim likes to fantasize that one day we will take our own evolution (and we are now controlling our own evolution) to a certain point where we transcend and become "transhuman". We connect up everyone's neural networks and blam! collective consciousness with accesss to everything everyone in the world knows, then knowedge expands in a line straight upwards and we all "know" whatever it is that is now hidden.

Now, would that be "better" than things now? I don't know, but it would still be an exciting event for a bit.

[nametaken]

SWIM realized that SWIM was gay and in love with SWIMs best friend... SWIM went home while SWIM was still rolling... and since SWIM was feeling so open SWIM told SWIMs whole family. Lots of tears and anger. :/

[bewilderment]

Originally Posted by nametaken

SWIM realized that SWIM was gay and in love with SWIMs best friend... SWIM went home while SWIM was still rolling... and since SWIM was feeling so open SWIM told SWIMs whole family. Lots of tears and anger. :/

I'm not sure how this is related to the thread, Edit: nevermind I forgot this thread was about epiphanies

but swim came out about two years ago (although not under the influence), lots of tears and general confusion but it all subsides after some time. Swim had been aware of her sexuality since around the age of 14-15 but was too afraid to act on anything or come out until she was 19 and away at college. Although, I will say that the use of drugs during that particular time period helped swim realize that this was something she simply had to do or else she was going to spend the rest of her life miserable. She had spent a lot of time under the delusion that it was a mind over matter thing and she could change her orientation and live a somewhat "normal life" if she just tried really hard and dated guys and played along. She did a lot of tripping during this period of time and realized that idea had been absurd and she needed to be true to herself and quit worrying about others because she was sure that all those others knew that swim was unhappy and they would eventually come to terms and then perhaps swim could actually live a happy life with a companion. Swim's family was upset and people cried, but it was simply due to their ignorance because they thought swim had made some sort of bad decision in "choosing" to live her life that way. But, they have all lightened up a lot since then. Especially swim's mother. Right after swim came out, she rented a movie with homosexual themes although she didn't realize that was what the movie was about and watched it with her mother who completely flipped out, threw the DVD, took away swim's car keys and blockbuster card, and went to her room and sobbed loudly for hours. Things have really changed, she called her mother up the other day and found out her mother had actually rented "Brokeback Mountain" to watch. She knew it was a gay movie, but still wanted to see what the hype was about. She didn't like the movie, but the point is that people that truly care about you will eventually come around. About a month ago, swim and her partner visited Swim's mother and they all watched Transamerica together and although swim's mother thought it was "weird", she had a few chuckles and was not upset in any way. It also seems to get much easier once you are in a long-term relationship. Swim ended up marrying one of the first girls she dated (not legally, but we're very very serious about it) and yesterday was their one-year anniversary since the day they exchanged rings (everything is still as wonderful as it was during the very beginning of the relationship, actually it is better). Anyway, swim's family now realizes that this isn't sort of weird phase and they all see how much happier swim is now that she is open about her sexuality and has a life partner. So, I think that for a lot of them, it has changed their views of homosexuality drastically. I know that swim's mother was once openly homophobic, but there's an election coming up soon in which there is a gay marriage amendment. It would redefine marriage in the state and also put it in writing that the state will refuse to acknowledge any unions for non-residents while they are in the state. It's a sure bet that swim's mother would have voted for this amendment before swim came out, but now I know that she thinks very differently about the issue and actually would like for swim and her partner to be able to have a legal marriage. I went off on a tangent, but all I wanted to say is: it's rough during the first few months (or until you have come out completely, people usually "come out" gradually) and emotions are high-charged. But, for most people (and there are those with crazy conservative families who will never, ever be accepting...swim thought that her's may be one of those, but she was quite wrong), after it all blows over life is good because you can be yourself and people will come to accept it.

[Nagognog2]

When I have run into foaming-at-the-mouth hunks of American Christianity calling for the removal of all civil rights for gays and lesbians, I have come up with one question I like to ask them: If you woke up in the body of a woman (assuming the idiot is male, and they usually are), would you continue to be straight and now have sex only with men? Or would you change your tune and become a Lesbian?

It usually works to shut them up.

You can also tell them that there is a group they might like to join that also condemns gays and lesbians. Then turn them on to this bunch:

http://www.afa.net/

That generally gets them to wonder who the fuck they'd been listening to.

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totally agree

[hh339]

Meaning of life? Heres what I think: I do not believe that any person with just a high IQ who aces every test would come nearly as close to the answer to that question than, lets say, just about every other animal on the planet! Or someone who has been living close to nature with great respect for it and learned to FEEL the way it works. People focus to much on their brain capacity, trying to adjust the true meaning of life to whatever fits best at the moment, disregarding that maybe we dont even know how to find this meaning of life because the answer is something we simply just can not understand yet. Anyone who has heard of the theories, or maybe philosophy, about the intelligence of our and everything elses cells, you know the type of cells that hang out in billions in our bodies. For instance, the "phenomenon" of twins being able to feel each others pains and deaths, could it be explained by just thinking logically? Or would one have to learn to understand a more spiritual language beyond most peoples way of reasoning? I would say yes to the latter. Could it be that when you during a trip feel that you know the meaning of life, but can not explain it in words, you actually really have got the answer? Why must we be able to put it in words? Why can most people not accept that there might be another form of intelligence? Fear of losing control, fear of being CRAAAZY? I dont know. I just thought myself braindead. Good night!

[bewilderment]

Originally Posted by hh339

Meaning of life? Heres what I think: I do not believe that any person with just a high IQ who aces every test would come nearly as close to the answer to that question than, lets say, just about every other animal on the planet! Or someone who has been living close to nature with great respect for it and learned to FEEL the way it works. People focus to much on their brain capacity, trying to adjust the true meaning of life to whatever fits best at the moment, disregarding that maybe we dont even know how to find this meaning of life because the answer is something we simply just can not understand yet. Anyone who has heard of the theories, or maybe philosophy, about the intelligence of our and everything elses cells, you know the type of cells that hang out in billions in our bodies. For instance, the "phenomenon" of twins being able to feel each others pains and deaths, could it be explained by just thinking logically? Or would one have to learn to understand a more spiritual language beyond most peoples way of reasoning? I would say yes to the latter. Could it be that when you during a trip feel that you know the meaning of life, but can not explain it in words, you actually really have got the answer? Why must we be able to put it in words? Why can most people not accept that there might be another form of intelligence? Fear of losing control, fear of being CRAAAZY? I dont know. I just thought myself braindead. Good night!

I agree with most of what you're saying, you have some nice insights. Sometimes emotions prove more useful than reason in finding a meaning. I think this is most likely because when using logical reasoning to figure the "meaning" out there are far too many missing variables that one has to guess at and with each guess, the meaning loses more validity. "Meaning of Life" is a term that is very broad and perhaps this is too far above our (our meaning the human species) heads. I think that suggesting that the meaning of life is subjective could possibly be false, how do we know. Maybe "What is the purpose of each individual?" would be a more appropriate question and a question with a more reachable answer. But, then again, the purpose of each individual's life would connect up with the whole and be related to the "meaning of life" but it would help to break up the question up in order to make it more feasible to answer.

[hh339]

Of course Voices, I totally get your point and I agree with you. I was thinking more along the lines of the meaning of all life, and not the individuals personal purpouse for himself, if I may call it that. I think everything is part of life, an elephant, a grass straw, a cell, an atom, it is all energy and I think it all connects somewhere. It is that connection I believe could be what people can sometimes feel but not explain in words. To be one with the universe. Note that I am not claiming to know the meaning of life or how it works, it is just an idea, I am not a know-it-all megalomaniac who think I was sent by God haha! From your perspective I would have to agree.

[Voices]

Originally Posted by hh339

I was thinking more along the lines of the meaning of all life, and not the individuals personal purpouse for himself, if I may call it that. I think everything is part of life, an elephant, a grass straw, a cell, an atom, it is all energy and I think it all connects somewhere.

Someone else here on this forum mentioned reading "The Presence of the Past" and I think you'd enjoy it, if you haven't already.

It sort of sounds like you're talking about a Unified Field Theory, like the body that contains your life is made of orgnas and cells and molecules and atoms that themselves are somehow functioning and living systems. For example: how can I define 'my life' when my life is made up of 100 million other living systems that I cannot begin to comprehend(?)

Sort of like thinking (antediluvian like) space and time exist outside of, or separate from gravity, when we now know that space/time is contained within the Field we know as gravity. And for all I personally know, gravity is a smaller part of some much larger Field. (Physicists know this stuff and I pretend I know it because I read their books. )

[bewilderment]

Originally Posted by Voices

Someone else here on this forum mentioned reading "The Presence of the Past" and I think you'd enjoy it, if you haven't already.

It sort of sounds like you're talking about a Unified Field Theory, like the body that contains your life is made of orgnas and cells and molecules and atoms that themselves are somehow functioning and living systems. For example: how can I define 'my life' when my life is made up of 100 million other living systems that I cannot begin to comprehend(?)

Sort of like thinking (antediluvian like) space and time exist outside of, or separate from gravity, when we now know that space/time is contained within the Field we know as gravity. And for all I personally know, gravity is a smaller part of some much larger Field. (Physicists know this stuff and I pretend I know it because I read their books. )

Yeah, I think you'd be interested in pantheism and string theory. Also, there are other cool things out there like this: http://www.thefinaltheory.com/
which I want to read, but haven't yet. And also you may be interested in the idea of a holographic universe and a somewhat suitable starting point may be here: http://fusionanomaly.net/holographicuniverse.html

I want to say more, but I'm in such a state that my philoscientific (is it word?) thoughts would come out more than a bit jumbled.

[Voices]

Originally Posted by bewilderment

Yeah, I think you'd be interested in pantheism and string theory. Also, there are other cool things out there like this: http://www.thefinaltheory.com/
which I want to read, but haven't yet. And also you may be interested in the idea of a holographic universe and a somewhat suitable starting point may be here: http://fusionanomaly.net/holographicuniverse.html

I want to say more, but I'm in such a state that my philoscientific (is it word?) thoughts would come out more than a bit jumbled.

Nice, if it ain't a word then you just telepathized with me.
I actually met a beautiful young woman months and months ago who was a math major with intent to specialize in the study of string theory. I believe she may actually be studying at Cambridge right now.

Meanings in life: I've felt I've made critical errors in allowing meaning to be found in the hearts of beautiful and smart brunettes; errors I will probably and gladly make several more times before my ticket out is punched.

[bewilderment]

Originally Posted by Voices

Nice, if it ain't a word then you just telepathized with me.
I actually met a beautiful young woman months and months ago who was a math major with intent to specialize in the study of string theory. I believe she may actually be studying at Cambridge right now.

Meanings in life: I've felt I've made critical errors in allowing meaning to be found in the hearts of beautiful and smart brunettes; errors I will probably and gladly make several more times before my ticket out is punched.

ha, that's funny. I actually consider myself to be an intelligent and somewhat attractive (well, I've been told I'm rather good-looking from a variety of people including some "beautiful" ones) as well as a brunette. But, I'm also a married (not legally, but meaningfully) lesbian.

Just a couple of years ago, I wanted to go into biopsychology or neuroscience, but I've had some mental problems that have caused me to go on medical leave from college twice so I have yet to graduate even though I graduated high school at the tender age of 16. The workload for such studies put me under a great deal of stress which seemed to trigger severe depressions so I've basically given up on that idea. I switched to philosophy briefly because I wanted to be a professor, but I've abandoned that as well although not because the workload was stressful because it was not but rather I just decided I didn't want to be a professor as they seem to spend most of their waking hours working and I want more time for myself. Right now I'm considering IT work because I don't find working with computers particularly stressful and it seems like a cozy job which pays well and one can basically leave their work at work instead of taking it home with them like so many have to do. I'm still regretting that I can't study more science formally, but I suppose I'll keep it as a hobby. I believe my love for science (as well as growing up with my nuclear family and also my extended family who use drugs excessively plays a role as well) has increased my interest in drugs...swim loves learning about them almost as much as taking them. Working on string theory would be majorly cool, but mathematics is not my forte so I'll just keep reading my books. Such a shame and yet really not. I used to think I could be great one day, but realized that such would require sacrificing any life outside of work and possibly sacrificing my sanity as well...I've also realized that being "great" isn't what it's all cracked up to be. One would get money and respect, but I don't care a whole lot about getting massive props and I don't need a lot of money. Life is usually (except during my moods) pretty great already so I don't need all that.

[bewilderment]

I had a conversation with an online friend about this shortly after posting on this thread and I thought that I'd share since I believe it to be relevant:

Friend: (regarding the meaning of life) In an analytical sense, there can be no finitely derivable answer to the question, by virtue of the simple fact that any given answer can be questioned further. In other words, if someone proposes that the meaning of life is X, you can always justifiably ask "Why is it X?" If they answer that question with "It is X because Y," you can ask "Why Y?" Et cetera.

Hence, any genuine, ultimate meaning to life can only be experienced subjectively, and cannot be precisely articulated in any language, no matter how verbose or sophisticated the explanation. This explains why altered states of consciousness are conducive to spiritual revelations-- they offer the user intense subjective experiences that shed light on a variety of perspectives, many of which are difficult (if not impossible) to accurately describe to other people.

My reply: "In an analytical sense, there can be no finitely derivable answer to the question, by virtue of the simple fact that any given answer can be questioned further. In other words, if someone proposes that the meaning of life is X, you can always justifiably ask "Why is it X?" If they answer that question with "It is X because Y," you can ask "Why Y?" Et cetera"

I can see how this works with everyone's own subjective meaning of life. But, when speaking of an objective "meaning" (I don't really understand "meaning" of life, so when I say that what I really mean is an answer to the question, "what is it of the unknown that would make the known all make sense." It's possible that the variables to could all be figured out in some very far-off time-period. It probably couldn't be understood with our current intelligence however. We're also limited by our senses, and our senses were evolved to make it easier for us to hunt and/or survive and not so that we could use them to discern the underlying reality to all of this, whatever 'this" is. I think it's somewhat possible, albeit far-fetched, that we could one day evolve extra senses...or rather senses that have been oppressed because they are not useful. I think this could be what people tap into with the use of hallucinogens...either that or it's simply the derangement.

"Hence, any genuine, ultimate meaning to life can only be experienced subjectively, and cannot be precisely articulated in any language, no matter how verbose or sophisticated the explanation. This explains why altered states of consciousness are conducive to spiritual revelations-- they offer the user intense subjective experiences that shed light on a variety of perspectives, many of which are difficult (if not impossible) to accurately describe to other people."

You're right in the general usage of the word "meaning", "meaning" seems to imply subjectivity which is why I don't necessarily like it when used in the phrase "meaning of life". But, I think the term "meaning of life" may be interpreted by many people in many ways. I'm only interpreting it in my own subjective way...of which, of course, one could always say "why do you define it as X" and I would reply "Y" and so forth as you said. But, for now, "meaning of life" does indeed have a different subjective meaning for every individual.

I think you're right-on about why altered states are conducive to ineffable spiritual revelations.

[hh339]

Wow, The final theory sure looks interesting, got to look into that when I have some money. This thread is quite amazing, if I were to discuss the meaning of life with most people I talk to IRL I bet their answers would be along the lines of: "Um, like drinking beer and getting laid", haha!

I think being humble and keeping an open mind goes a long way. My mom works with taking care of a retarded kid in pre-school and she has been doing that for a long time with different kids and she has always loved her job. I used to hang out there sometimes because I found it fascinating to observe and learn more about this kid. None of the other teachers wants to work with this kid full time, because they think its a waste of time from a teachers perspective (idiots). Now what I find really interesting is that when the other teachers touches him or talks to him he mostly gets furious as hell, spits on the floor and even starts swinging his fists sometimes, but when my mom enters the room he calms down and focuses his attention at her instead. That is not because he has adapted to her, it has been that way since day one. Its like he can scan people in a split second by just sensing them in some way. Remember that this kid is considered next to braindead by many people, but he seems to be very intelligent emotionally and I personally feel that I can connect with him in a way (No, I am not retarded). Another example: I went there to hang out one day after a night of hard drinking and partying. I was very dehydrated and felt like I was going to pass out any minute. This kid reached for his bottle of water and managed to throw it my way even though he has severe spasms. Its like he felt I needed it, it was so amazing, he has proven to me that he is very smart and understanding in a way, even if his IQ is way down.