Well actually, Sparkles is the parent, and there's nothing her kids can't talk to her about. She was only telling someone this morning, her kids once asked her why she couldn't be boring and old fashioned, like the other mums. However, now her 23 yr old son is quite pleased she's not, cos she had the cannabis connections he needed when he came to live with her.
Sparkles's mum is awesome, she knows all about Sparkles addictions in the past, and having that honesty between then makes her mum her first line of defense if ever she's tempted to go back to heroin. Cos they can talk it over, and any problems can be dealt with, together.
My cat has always been very open and honest with her mum about drugs. Her mum has always had the attitude that she is not able to control what her kids do with their bodies, and that she would prefer that they are safe and feel comfortable coming to talk to her if they have any problems. She is not all the experienced with drugs herself, so my cat has spent a lot of time educating her about them and reassuring her that she makes the effort to stay safe. Recently she has found herself advising her mum about drugs as she has begun to dabble in a few herself!
She does feel very lucky to have this kind of relationship and realises that it's somewhat of an oddity compared to a lot of her friends who wouldn't dream of being so open about it.
My pet bunny actually can't talk about any kind of drugs with her parents. You see, she has a lot of former/current addicts and alcoholics in the family, so her parents have never even touched any drug. Even as far as drinking, her mom has a wine cooler maybe once a year, father has never drunk. She has gotten caught for smoking weed, and her parents were veryyyy disapproving and told her that they will never look at her the same, they lost a lot of respect for her and they don't know if she will ever get it back, and they feel like they did something wrong in raising her. She very strongly wishes they were like some of her friend's parents who let them smoke in the house, and know about their drug usage. But with her parents, they are in the dark about everything she does.
Swim got caught, so no excuse, during nasty withdrawals. Family cool tho and helped out, so whole drugs thing while not accepted is at least in the open.
SWIMs parents are very, very conservative. They see drugs as something from outer space. SWIM remembers how one day his brother told them that he had tried MDMA and some cannabis, well, they were not thrilled about it, but it did not seem like a big confrontation or something. About a year ago a conversation between SWIM and his parents turn out to the topic of drugs, and SWIM just said out loud, that he is an occasional user of cannabis (he did not mention anything else from his usual "fridge"). They did not take it too badly, some jokes followed (SWIM was like "what? I share my experiences with you and you take this as a joke?". After a while SWIM realised the joke was a self-defence and denial mechanism).
My parents just said - watch yourself, stay safe and moderate yourself. They also added they'd like to see some grandchildren, well, considering SWIMs sperm count.. lol. So SWIM doesn't really know what to say - the fact is out there, well it's only about the cannabis, which is like telling your parents you robbed a store and took a candy while you took.. well, a whole bottle of scotch. But SWIM is happy it is out there. Though they are heavily in denial.
Last edited by convalescent; 05-07-2010 at 23:57.
Reason: removed some left over self-incriminating words
There's such a range of different attitudes and reactions from parents. I assume we would all want open-minded parents who would be interested in a dialogue about drugs and willing to listen to real evidence and things like that. At least that's the kind of parent I want to be myself. Hiding these aspects of one's life is no way to develop a strong bond. I will tell my kids that we can talk about anything and I will respect everything they do as long as they can provide good reasons for what they do.
With my mom I've noticed the following problem: She has an idea about who she is as a person and that includes being anti-drugs (but pro moderate alcohol and extensive caffeine use). It's more important for her to maintain that image than to challenge her current views with intellectual curiousity. It's such a conversation stopper and I hope that I will never develop such a 'identity over reason' mindset.
SWIM's parents definitely know about her drug use, especially her mother. Her dad is seriously against it and sees it as a personal attack or something...who knows. He used to be an alcoholic himself, which he admitted once out of the blue but doesn't like the idea of drug use one bit. He's not religious in the least, but is just really uptight about some stuff.
SWIM's mom is pretty open-minded about it, though she doesn't really do it herself. She grew up in the '60s, so nothing's too shocking really. On occasion, she will go off on a tirade about SWIM's drug use, but it's more out of concern for her well-being than criticism or non-acceptance. Like everyone else, she's been a bit brainwashed about the risks of drug use...
SWIM'S parents know he has a slight drinking problem, but aren't aware of the scale of it. However there completely unaware of his other drug use and wouldn't stand for it should they find out. When his parents found out about his occasional cannabis use he was given the ultimatum, stop doing it or find somewhere else to live. SWIM'S parents aren't the type to ever understand drugs. As far as there concerned if it's illegal it must be bad.
SWIM told his parents about his cocaine addiction. They were both drug and alcohol users themselves although less drugs in recent years. He thought they would be understanding and help It didn't end well. SWIM got totally shafted by his parents who stole and sold his pride and joy motorcycle and sold it and kept the money, phoned his landlord and had him evicted and even tried to have SWIM arrested on false charges of dealing which he didn't all under the guise of "Help" even now if SWIM's had a few drinks and family ring he doesn't answer as they will spread rumours he's back on drugs.....If your family are cool great but SWIM thought his family would understand and instead the things that happened still hurt. BE VERY CAREFUL WHO YOU TELL! !!!! That said family can be a great help if you have trouble with drugs and doing them can be fun as you know who your with really well
Pen the pencil asked me to tell you that he says " No, I do not talk to my parents about drugs. I can't and every time I try to talk to my mother about her crack cocaine addiction I get shot down " for say ". I can't talk to my father either because he is whipped by his new wife. So, nope I really can't talk to anyone about drugs except here on DF, thankfully . "
Last edited by Johnnynapples; 06-07-2010 at 20:22.
Reason: Spelling Errors
Swim talks to his mom about drugs. The get high together, well in the sense that they both take something together, it's not like partying, and drink sometimes. Swim's mom was using heroin occasionaly when swim was strung out and swim actually shot up in the car with her once. She just snorted though. His folks used to bust him for smoking/drinking until he was like 16. That's when him and his dad smoked pot together for the first time.
The only time swim's mom will get on him about using is when he starts drinking daily or using opiates daily and she knows he's gonna get strung out and she doesn't want to see him sick. She gets on him if he's drinking too much 'cause she hates alcoholics and says it's really embarissing. Swim often shares pain pills or benzos or poppy pods with his mom and she does the same if she gets some pills or something.
They've drank together, done coke together, heroin, pills, poppy tea, and pot together. It's a good way to relax and be more open. Helps you get to know your parent more as a person.
Last edited by Moving Pictures; 06-07-2010 at 21:22.
Reason: 2112
I cannot talk to my Father about drugs whatsoever, he's pro, typical, rush limbaugh conservative, but on the contrary, my mother knows of my occasional Cannabis and as long as I stay out of trouble with the coppers then she's A-Okay. Anything beyond that is out of the question though.
I had a fairly deep convosation with both or my parents about the "youth of today" and the drugs i know my friends take.... managing to avoid incriminating myself at all =] (smoke to much weed and take mdma) however they do always comment of my having red eyes even though it is normally due to hayfever and contact lenses..... =p
I cannot talk to my Father about drugs whatsoever, he's pro, typical, rush limbaugh conservative, but on the contrary, my mother knows of my occasional Cannabis and as long as I stay out of trouble with the coppers then she's A-Okay. Anything beyond that is out of the question though.
How one can approve of Rush Limbaugh and at the same time not approve of drugs is beyond me.
SWIM can speak to his mother about it. She knows what he dabbles in and has helped him out when he was being a fucking idiot and should have gotten his ass kicked. She's a very understanding woman, however; she does not approve of any drug use at all besides that of beer. She had bad experiences with LSD when younger and that put her off. SWIM's father is completely oblivious to anything SWIM does so he doesn't mention anything to him about it. Although, his father can be quite fun to drink with.
I cannot talk to my Father about drugs whatsoever, he's pro, typical, rush limbaugh conservative, but on the contrary, my mother knows of my occasional Cannabis and as long as I stay out of trouble with the coppers then she's A-Okay. Anything beyond that is out of the question though.
My Cheshire Cat has a similar relationship with his parents. His dad is a Conservative Southern Man and is completely against any type of intoxicant, while his mother is a little more open-minded. Although barely. My Cheshire Cat believes that his mother at least knows of his DXM abuse as he has come home to find his stash 'disturbed,' but isn't sure if she is aware of all his other drug use.
My Cheshire Cat tells me he'd like to tell them someday though. Just not today.
My dear friend Dr. Raoul Duke has a great relationship with his mother, and they both happen to be alcoholics. Not pass-out, stumbling, slurring words drunk (ever), but they both drink daily, so thats obviously out in the open. Dr. Duke smokes cannabis around his mother, and that is accepted as well. Dr. Duke's mother was a drug user in her younger days, but no longer partakes. As far as 'harder' drugs go, Raoul has never admitted to anything, and his mother has never asked, he's sure she knows, but doesn't want details. However, lets put it this way; Raoul's mom waters his San Pedro and Peyote for him when he's not around, and she's not an ignorant or naive woman, she knows her son doesn't give a good-god-damn about gardening.
SWIM's mom is pretty open-minded about it, though she doesn't really do it herself. She grew up in the '60s, so nothing's too shocking really. On occasion, she will go off on a tirade about SWIM's drug use, but it's more out of concern for her well-being than criticism or non-acceptance. Like everyone else, she's been a bit brainwashed about the risks of drug use...
Among the responses so far, this parent seems to be the most reasonable one out there.
I think it's sad that the communication problem teenagers often have with parents doesn't go away with age. As we enter our 20s and 30s we just learn that certain things (like drugs, but not only limited to that) are not to be talked about and so we stop.
I have this idyllic vision of the older generations regaining the status they allegedly had in preindustrial societies and being able to provide wise life guidance to the younger generations. It just seems kind of utopian with the rigid I've-already-made-up-my-mind attitude many parents have. To me, open-ended dialogue should be a foundation for wisdom.
We should promise ourselves to stay cool as we grow older, if we want the generations after us to respect us.
SWIM never discussed drugs with his parents in the past, but he is on his own, 22, and going to graduate school, so he opens up to them. They don't approve or disapprove and always are interested in SWIM's ramblings on pharmacology and such. The only thing they don't know if SWIM's propensity to insufflate many of the substances he enjoys.
Due to SWIM having a brush with the authorities SWIMS parents know, though they kind of guessed anyway.
SWIMS parents come from a history of drug use (but never long enough for SWIM to use the term "abuse") and so are quite excepting in the fact they don't punish SWIM. However they still say never in the house etc and make it clear they are very disappointed, which is annoying as both parents smoked (cigarettes) for 30 odd years!
My pet wompus thought his parents would be cool with his pot use, seeing as how, he didn't even use it until he was about 16. His parents were cool with him getting drunk the year before (age 15), so he figured they'd be alright with that. One day, my wompus' mother "cleaned" his room while he was at school and found his stash of weed and pipes, and cigarettes, etc. Laid it out like an evidence lineup! Asked him some questions, the young wompus obviously denied any "despicable" pot use.. then "pop" the trunk opens... apparently, he was told he would go to jail for using illegal substances and they never wanted it in their house again...
He wanted me to add that after that point, his father would constantly ask him if he was "on that dope", erroneously referring to weed... course, in their mind, they know the facts that marijuana isn't anything like the other drugs, they are just still stuck on the old refer madness ideals... if that makes sense at all.
So, he talks to his parents frequently about drugs, but most of the time it involves one question and one answer... my pet's answer always includes "I am not using any drugs"
Back when those stacker pills actually amped people up, my pet took more than the recommended dose and told his parents he was on cocaine, just for shits and giggles. They flipped out and for a bit didn't believe his story even after he showed them the pack..
God no!!! SWIM's parents are the most conservative couple in the world.
They are loving and SWIM adores them, but they would faint if they knew she drank alcohol several times a week (Btw, she quit alcohol 2 months ago! Completely) and it would destroy them if they knew she tried "light drugs" and developed Methylphenidate dependence.
Once SWIM's mom asked her if she still takes Ritalin for her ADHD and she said no, because the anti depressants help her focus.
Otherwise SWIM's mom would google "Methylphenidate", read horror side effects and stories and would drive SWIM insane by saying she must quit and "chemistry is bad for your body".
