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This is my PERSONAL story and experiences on ecstasy and I have my own views and opinions on it which I’m stating in my story. You have the right to agree or disagree with what I say because not all opinions and experiences are the same. This article is not for everyone, so if you already don’t like the idea of reading about someone’s personal experience with a drug, then leave and
go do something productive instead. I’m writing this just for everyone
to see how powerful this drug is and so that people can make the right
choices about it and be responsible users if they are going to be using
it. Most of you have had your first time and experiences and many know
what it feels like, so feel free to post your own experiences and
respond in accordance to my article.
SWIM's life has never been the same anymore ever since taking that first hit of MDMA (ecstasy). SWIM thought nothing of that drug as he gladly accepted to give it a try at his FIRST rave (which also happened to be a massive). SWIM did it just because "everyone else was doing it". SWIM didn't give it any second thought and in the heat of the moment from all the peer pressure, he also forgot about all of his morals that he always had about drugs. SWIM bought a cap of ecstasy from some random dealer that he found at that rave and popped it.
INTENSE peer pressure made SWIM do it and he was happy that he popped
it and totally forgot about it... when 45 minutes later... the drug took CONTROL OVER his ENTIRE brain. SWIM could not stop dancing all night and had the MOST AMAZING TIME OF HIS ENTIRE LIFE - experiencing a variety of different feelings and emotions - amplified and made 500 times stronger than in real life. After the rave was over and the pill's "magic" was gone, SWIM was really tired and had no energy left. SWIM was also REALLY depressed because the "good times" were over and he no longer felt the ecstasy paradise.
The next day, after getting some good sleep, SWIM reflected back and
recalled all the good moments that happened at that rave but forgot that he took ecstasy that night.
Some time later, SWIM started attending more raves (mostly undergrounds) but he never had the same amount of fun as he did that one night at his first rave. SWIM realized that something was missing from his last few rave experiences and then remembered why he felt so GREAT at his first rave - it was the ecstasy that he took.
Little did SWIM know… he was MENTALLY ADDICTED to ecstasy. SWIM
started having cravings and mental “lust” towards taking that drug again in order to experience the “good times” again (FIRST REAL sign of addiction). SWIM also started thinking about it more and more and couldn’t wait until the next big massive would roll around the corner.
Finally the “glorious” moment came – a massive rave was due that night. SWIM came prepared this time… he actually bought a cap AHEAD of time
this time because he was planning on doing it. As midnight strikes, SWIM pops the cap and then an hour later he starts rolling pretty hard. The incredible feeling repeats itself again all through the night as the first time that SWIM did E, but 3 hours later it starts to wear down on him. HOWEVER, SWIM finds another random dealer right at that rave and buys ANOTHER cap and pops it as he’s coming down from his first one (SECOND REAL sign of addiction).
SWIM got high again and rolled pretty hard for another 2 hours and when he came down again he felt like utter shit because the “thrill” was over again. Feeling all sad and depressed for a few days after – SWIM realized that he is addicted to the INCREDIBLE sensation that ecstasy gives him and started planning other future events at which he could take E (THIRD and FINAL REAL sign of addiction). That is how SWIM got caught in the trap of the ecstasy trend - first thinking that it is nothing major and that he
can do it just that one time and forget about it – and ending up being a SLAVE to the pill, constantly and non-stop thinking about taking another hit in order to feel the emotions and have that empathetic experience.
SWIM’s story is one of many real life stories about first trying ecstasy and then becoming addicted to it due to its power and ability to alter a person’s way of thinking about life. There is no physical addiction as the body doesn’t depend on it after you take it once or twice, but there is a STRONG mental and psychological addiction to its wonderful effects. One pill of E and 2 hours of its effects is like one full year of anti-depression treatment (if you have a positive experience from it of course). However, it is never guaranteed that you will ALWAYS get a positive experience from it, and that’s what SWIM has already experienced. One cap can make you feel incredibly good
and/or extremely bad – all in the SAME pill. SWIM would not recommend anyone to even THINK about trying ecstasy if anyone has depression or any clinical conditions as it may harm you for the rest of your life. SWIM was mentally stable when he first tried E, and he still is, in fact…
SWIM is now MORE mentally stable because he takes his experiences and applies them to his personal life and tries to see how he can “LIVE his life as IF it were a drug – without the actual drug”. SWIM is having success in changing his daily lifestyle and living a more active and interesting life ever since taking his first ecstasy, but SWIM still cannot get the cravings and the mental lust out of his brain as he already has caused permanent damage in that area of his brain. The feelings and emotions that SWIM has once experienced
will NEVER leave his mind, and the tendency to want to repeat those experiences will always stay with him… FOREVER. SWIM dreams a lot about taking E, thinks about it constantly during the day, talks about it
with his friends a lot, reads and studies a lot about it, and generally lives a life that seems to be completely influenced by it.
As SWIM thinks back and tries to figure out whether it was worth taking
that first cap of E at his first rave – he cannot quite figure it out. WITHOUT E, life would seem pretty boring and SWIM would never have been able to feel so close and connected with the world; but WITH E, SWIM is having troubles not thinking about his past wonderful experiences with it and wonders whether it is worth living a life which is controlled by an external force – one that is called ecstasy.
My friends, fellow ravers, guests and visitors of this board, and anyone else who read my story – please take it into consideration and tell others about it. Ecstasy is not something that will leave you unharmed – as long as you do it RESPONSIBLY and LEARN from it each time you do it. Do not take its power for granted.
P.S. Part 2 (which is going to be a resesarch article on the do's and
don'ts of E) is coming soon as I’m still putting together all my
research and observations on ecstasy and will be writing it up in the
next few days.
Last edited by Nnizzle; 24-11-2010 at 15:55.
Interesting story you have there. It seems like your problem is that you think you can only have fun while on mdma. This isnt true, however mdma does enhance any fun experience. It is without a doubt swim's favorite drug. However, swim knows to moderate uses. And the reason he moderates his uses is because if you do this, each roll will be just as good as the last(also if you have good pills.) So the way swim looks at it is, "why would he roll now, when this situation isnt even that fun?" Swim will only roll when it will really be special. It took him about7 rolls to realize this. After the 4th roll the other 3 just werent as good, and he understood that its all about moderation. It has been a month and a half since swim has rolled now. He takes suppliments daily, for 2 reasons. To be healthy, but also to enhance his next roll, which will be taking place in Las Vegas with 4 friends. Thats a perfect example of a good time to roll. So just remind yourself, each time you roll, the experience will get weaker, and you wont be able to hold onto that feeling. So moderate uses, and do it only during special times.
i was taking E very regulary about 2 years ago, pretty much everyweekend. im pretty sure i felt exactly what you described in your post, but im gonan say that you can overcome the "addiction" as i was al ldepressed when i didnt have E, but then id just go out with mates and get stupidly drunk, and thatd get my mind off it, and now im not a regular user, i only do it like once a month, but i know deep down if i wanted to really stop, i could. i agree that it is a psychological addiction, but it can be overrided!
Tbh as far addiction goes, MDMA is one of the least addictive drugs ive tried. The feeling crap for 2 days seem to put me off from using it for at least a few weeks. Havent popped a pill in at least 3 weeks now (think 4 even) and so far i havent got any interest in taking one again any time soon.
Its got no physical addiction whatsoever and the mental addiction is alot lower then say nicotine (trust me ive been there).
So far ive been addicted to nicotine, computer gaming (laugh all you want it was my worst addiction) and i got real withdrawl(lasts a week)from sugar each spring when i go on a diet. XTC addiction is almost non existant compared to those in my experience.
But i guess different people make for different addictions.Edited by: xpr´k
I have something to say about this topic you have going here, and I am going to put my two cents in here, whether you like it or not "bassdrum". As you say, you have your opinions and view, and I have mine......
First I want to say that you explained to all of us here, that youcouldnt have "FUN" unless you were on E, and that E was the only thing allowing yourself to have a good time with friends and strangers! Well here is some advice for you, Maybe you should stop blaming a "DRUG" for your lack of enthusiasum, and start looking at your ownself and your personality, I am sure it has a lot to do with your past problems. If you can't enjoy yourself and have fun at a rave, club, house party or what have you without having a drug to make you have fun, then it's a good job you have come to the realization that you are not the kind of human being to be taking "ANY KIND OF DRUG". Honestly, how did you ever survive before placing "THE EVIL XTCY PILL INTO YOUR BLOODSTREAM?" How did you have a good time?
Another thing I really need to say is a comment you made:
Originally Posted by bassdrum
SWIM's life has never been the same anymore ever since taking that first hit of MDMA (ecstasy). SWIM thought nothing of that drug as he gladly accepted to give it a try at his FIRST rave (which also happened to be a massive). SWIM did it just because "everyone else was doing it". SWIM didn't give it any second thought and in the heat of the moment from all the peer pressure, he also forgot about all of his morals that he always had about drugs. INTENSE peer pressure made SWIM do it and he was happy that he popped it
Peer presure,......Peer presure....YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!! If you were "Peer Presured" into taking this pill, with your "OUTSTANDING GOOD MORALS" then you really dont have "True Friends" and what I mean by that is....NOBODY held a gun to your head, forced your mouth open, held you down, and shoved this "PILL" down your throat!!!!! Come on man, you've got more willpower than that!!!! And you "FORGOT" you took the pill that made you have a good time, that made you extremely close with everyone, that made you dance for hours upon hours....Nobody "FORGETS" that. You are your own person, with your own mind, you could have said NO, NO, NO....but instead you said YES, and now blame your terrible experience on others, and a pill.
Originally Posted by bassdrum
(FIRST REAL sign of addiction). SWIM also started thinking about it more and more and couldn’t wait until the next big massive would roll around the corner.
(SECOND REAL sign of addiction).
(THIRD and FINAL REAL sign of addiction).
You took these pills a total of 3 TIMES....3 TIMES....ADDICTED, this gets more and more pathetic as the sad, sad story goes on...Do you know what ADDICTED MEANS? Really, do you? Look it up somewhere!!!
Originally Posted by bassdrum
The incredible feeling repeats itself again all through the night as the first time that SWIM did E, but 3 hours later it starts to wear down on him. HOWEVER, SWIM finds another random dealer right at that rave and buys ANOTHER cap and pops it as he’s coming down from his first one hard for another 2 hours and when he came down again he felt like utter shit
Your hit lasted 2 to 3 hours......?
I have nothing further to say ..... honestly, we all have our own minds around here, we all have something called "willpower" and to tell you the truth, I am not going to tell someone NO to try E or even do E, because we all learn and grown on experiences that have been thrown on our path, a path called OUR LIVES. Also stop knocking those that do it...everyone is different and yes we all have seperate encounters so stay away from any kind of drugs, as I dont think your mature enough to handle whatever it has to offer you...or NOT OFFER YOU
The thing is, people feel strong connections like this towards almost anything that makes them feel good. Some people are able to control these urges, for others they are just too powerful. Almost anything can be mentally addictive, but it is easy to paranoid, especially with asll the anti-drug hype about, that"oh my God, I'm addicted, my life will never be the same, I will never be able to quit!". The truth is bud, you don't have to let it control you, it just takers a bit of will power and a bit of stability and happiness in the rest of your life (this is key - is there anything in your outside life that you aren't hap[py about?). You've probablyjust forgotton about all the stuff that made you feel great before you took the pill, and the fact that long-term, stable happinessis actually a lot better in the long run than one single snap shot of happiness (trust me, it wears thin after a while, and if you do it too much the whole scene just seems completelyfalse). E is great, but it's justa recreational tool, there's no need to let it take over your life.You can be in control, but you must feel happy and content within yourself and you must use E to help you get to know yourself and other betters on occasion, whilst not relying on it to make you feel happy. Of courseyou have amuch more intense super happyroller coaster ride of an experience at a rave whilst on E. Realising this doesn't make you addicted. You can still exercise self control and keep it to special occasions, knowing that not doing so could have disastrous results.E can be a very useful tool for self exploration, exploring empathetic connections with others etc., but it has to be used sparingly. If you can't do this now, give it a rest and take it up again when you know you can.
sorry about any spelling errors, I'm in a bit of a rushEdited by: ramjet
Take it easy guys... that story was written about my past WHEN I WAS addicted. Nowadays, I barely ever do E anymore - only 1-3 times a year and on very special occassions. I'm good at controlling myself now and don't give in its temptations. I've worked on my will power ever since I realized I was having cravings for it, and now I can don't feel the need for it anymore.
I hope my story helped others who might be going through the same thing - but don't be let down - this drug is not that hard to stop having cravings for. Just find something to do when you get a craving. Oh, and just give it some time... you know what they say - "Time is the healer".
SWIM has had a similar experience after his first experience of E.
SWIM tried pure MDMA with a close friend who has taken e many times and so swim felt in good hands. Swim was in his own home and listened to some great music and danced with his friend. Swim had the MOST INCREDIBLE EXPERIENCE, absolutely no negatives, total love, euphoria and a new way of seeing life and people. Swim at the time of taking e was going through and had been going through for many years previously a period of depression. The strange thing is, the memory of the feeling of love for people and especially himself has stayed with him. Previously swim was a very angry person but since taking MDMA has found that his anger has disappeared. Swim had tried three different types of antidepressant in the past but without any success.
It only takes swim to hear Groove Armadas' "At the river" for all those beautiful feelings to be experienced again, although obviously not to the same intensity.
The only problem comes through experiencing a bitter sweet sensation of longing very similar to the kind of nostalgiac yearning for a lost lover. This leaves swim with an intense desire to take e again. Fortunately the logistics of obtaining e prevent too frequent use. Swim has decided rather than treating e as a bit of fun at the weekend, swim will treat the incredible experience e has given him with respect and make mdma an infrequent but very special occasion of spirituality and personal insight. Swim feels this is the way to get the most benefit from this wonderful drug as opposed to cheapening it by taking too much too often. Swim thinks e should be used as a catylist for introducing new ways of thinking and attitudes in peoples STRAIGHT lives as it is impossible to be constantly under the influence of any drug however nice. Swim feels this is the best way of avoiding any disillusion about the e experience. Take what you can from the e experience, recognise that it is a temporary effect and try to assimilate it into your life.
That's what I've been trying to tell people for years. Analyze what that place is in your mind and live it without the drug. Then pass it on. It requires a willful act to accomplish, but it's within grasp. The more one attributes to the drug, the further one gets from the truth.