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i was talking to my friends stoner brother whos pre-med. fun
and amusingly common combo, huh? the night before, he came home stoned when i was sleeping over at his house, and me, him, and his sister were eating munch 'ems and talking to their mom (why cant my mother be like this) in a pupil-dialated stupor. the next day, we were talking about random shit and i mentioned that my great-grandmother had extremely severe schizophrenia and subsequent psychosis. to give you an idea, she did not know she was pregnant and gave birth to my great- aunt in the bathtub. [side note]ever since i found out about her schizophrenia and figured out what it meant- when i was about 9 or 10- i have been terrified of it. both my parents being doctors, i have learned fun facts about how most mental illness- schizophrenia and bipolar disorder included- is thought to be genetically linked. i seriously have a major pre-occupation with this disorder. i look up symtoms and treatments. watch movies like a beautiful mind and donnie darko for (in)accuracies. i even wrote a story called schizophrenic love affair from the perspective of the voice in a teenager's head. [end side note haaha] anyways, my friends bro decides to enlighten me about use of drugs in relation to schizophrenia, amphetamines in particular. he proceeds to caution me about the use of any hard drugs. i asked him to define 'hard.' he uses a rather constrictive but appropriate description, for someone who smokes as much weed as he does, at least. his hard drugs: anythign except weed and alcohol. he is drawing the conclusion that i have done more drugs than these and further cautions me about crystal meth inparticular. this freaks me out. the fear has also caused me to abstain from use of adderal, somethign popular and cheap where i live. i sort of have a personal goal to do a lot of stuff between now and the time i die, and i dont have the greatest self-control. it took a lot of using anything before i could accept when i was good and not turn into an innebriated, semi-conscious idiot because i couldnt pass up just one, two, five more. i was wondering if anyone else has heard of the correlation between schizophrenia and meth, and if they have, how probable is it? thanks, and sorry that was so ridiculously long. |
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