I need advice regarding SO's use of methamphetamine

[shangray]

I have been clean from meth for almost 8 years..my boyfriend of 4 years has a current meth problem. After lots and lots of empty promises to stop and not leave anymore(as he'll go somewhere and just not come home for a day or 2) I have made ultimatums left him..etc. I dont know what to do anymore. He has a 9 year old that i raise and I am also 6 mo pregnant. Any advice???


Help

[Tweak]

I think you really need to point out to your boyfriend that by him continually doing meth, against your will, he is putting unnecessary stress on you.

Stress and pregnancy dont go hand in hand as im sure you know, so I think that is a key point.

Another is the fact that you guys have a 9yo boy/girl, and im sure you want to set a good example.

If 9yo is boy, then he will look up to his father and follow his example, so it thats the case, your son will will not benefit from seeing his dad tweakin off his dial and behaving like spomeone whois tweaking.

I think you also need to analyze the situation and really think whether the relationship is worth saving.

Obviously if you love him to bits, then a solution is required. Although if not, I feel the best decision would be to make a final ultimatum and follow through!

Oh, you mentioned that 'he' has a 9yo, but 'you' raise him. If he is not putting any effort into raising his boy/girl then then that is enough grounds to really rip into him about his responsibilities and how much he is stuffing things up. Basically you need to confront him and ask him which he considers more important:

His meth addiction or his girlfriend & child (family).

On top of that, whilst you are staying clean, him using is prolly making you crave for it and putting you in awkward positions, which cant be good for lil baby inside. Be firm and dont take his shit

[Alfa]

I agree with Tweak. Be realistic and stick to your ultimatum.

[discobloodbath]

i think u need to think about yourself and the children.. living in that kind of relationship/enviorment is not good for you or the kids. If he doesnt want to stop, than i'm sorry but hes not going to. ultimatums are useless to someone who doesnt have the slightest intrested in quiting.. yes there could be a chance that he stops and realizes what hes doing but do you really want to wait that long for something that might not even happen?i do think that careing enough for someone can help but there also has to be a reaching point... tell him that one last time if u must but only once.. you need to live your life, thats how u can help him... he might realize what he's loosing

*from the movie Red

The Judge : Leave. It's your destiny. You can't live your brother's life for him.
Valentine : I love him. If only I could help.
The Judge : You can. Be.
Valentine : What do you mean?
The Judge : That's all: be.