advice really needed badly. Thankyou

[Jim82]

Hello all. There is slight paranoia so its my friend i speak of but i speak as if it were me to make it easier.





Ok, here goes.





To give you a brief background focusing on amphetamine. Ive always
enjoyed taking drugs recreationaly (mainly Es and weed). I started
taking Amphetamines (base - the piss smelling slightly pasty stuff)
every weekend around last september and by november was spilling out
into weekedays and I was taking it all the time. I had a full time job
so from what I can remember my regime back then was to get (if any) a
couple of hours crash time per night before starting my shift. I was on
it pretty much constantly maybe getting the odd week off it until
Feburary I think but my memories are very vivid for obvious reasons. I
know at one point I was going off my head and was near breakdown
especially one particular evening due to goings on at work (things
which normally wouldnt have bothered me and id dealt with) - at this
point I told my mum what id been up to - it was that bad.





Since then I went a good 1-2 months off it and have then been on it every weekend aslong as I could get it.





Right I dont think im cool or anything, far from it, but its 4:58AM
August the 12th, Ive been up since the 10th I have been on it
constantly since the 8th of June apart from a 3 day period a week ago.
On average ive been staying up 2 days, crashing, then doing the same
again but ive gone 3+ days many a time. Ive actually been keeping notes
in my planner since I started, some of the stuff I have written in
there is mind boggling beleive me! which now was 35 days ago. I had
been up 2 days when I recieved a phonecall telling me that a friend had
died in her sleep, I fell apart we had lost touch for almost a year,
she phoned me on a friday night, was so happy to hear from her, we
arranged to meet the next day but the same night we finally got in
touch was the night she died. The 3 days i was clean was around the
time of the funeral. Regarding that tradjic subject I am ok now and
getting on with life. I have friends but none know the full extent of
what ive been up to.





My general health isnt too bad but i must admit ive turned into a
hypocondriac alot of the time, I worry about my health more often than
not, especially when I get the kind of stress headaches, not a thumping
pain but more tight and uncomfortable, can feel hair kind of prikling -
can anyone relate? The main reason I am posting is for some sorely
needed advice, ive looked at loadsa sites but these just drive me mad I
sorely need advice from people who have a bit of experiance





Has anyone done this or similar? What is best to eat\drink at certain
times during/coming down. What can I do if ive been up for a day or 2
and get the ringing\tight etc etc stress head - is it ok to take
painkillers such as ibuprofen? Also if I told my doctor think I could
get my head scanned to make sure theres no permanent damage?





I take a vitamin pill a day, make sure I eat as healthy as I can
altough quantitys are less obviously. Ive been eating the odd raw egg
lately as I know they are rich in protein, what vitamins foods drinks
etc should I focus on? I am a semi-heavy smoker.





I 100% welcome any advice atall especially on nutrition but anything, please!, I can also answer any questions.





Oh yes and remember im on about a friend.








Thanks a million folks, much appreciated, much apologies fr the huge post, had to get off chest I suppose.

[swanprincess75]

Hey Jim. I have no experience on this subject but just hold on there....Im gonna find someone to help you!! Everyone here has been awesome since I joined, and I know that they will help you like they have helped me with questions!! Hang in buddy

[polloloco001]

look in the addiction and recovery section. in fact the moderators will
probably move this thread there. there is some advice there about
things to substitute for speed in a thread called "quitting aid for
amphetamines", although i didnt notice anything about which foods to
eat to remain healthy, but i just looked through quickly. also that
little thing you did with the "this is 1st person but its about a
friend". we are all a little paranoid about that sort of thing around
here. a lot of people use the acronym 'swim' meaning someone who isnt
me and tell it like a 3rd person story. good luck.

[Nagognog2]

Jim, you have to clean your system out from the speed (amphetamine) and get checked out by medical folks. Your symptoms are very much common with someone who is on a binge of amphetamines.


I am glad to hear that your subconcious has been telling you that a physical problem may be in the works - it is: Unless you stop this as soon as possible. This may well require being detoxified under the care of a physician. You will need your electrolytes restored and made comfortable so you can relax and rest as you heal. Likely you will be given a benzodiazapine like valium to slow your mind and make you a bit drowsy so you can get some rest as you come down from this. You must attend to this. Those messages you have been getting are not some weird joke - part of your mind is trying to save your life. Pay attention.


As regards the paranoia you are feeling, there is a clinical name for it: Amphetamine Psychosis. It has nothing to do with your person, character, toilet-training, or your loving your mother more than your father. It is a given for anyone who takes speed over a long duration. It will go away as you get this crap out of your body. So put your head up and go get medical assistance. That's what they are there for. You can kick yourself in the butt later. First get detoxified. And promise yourself you won't make this mistake again. You'll be alright.


Okay? Now go and take care of it. Let us know when you are feeling better.Edited by: nagognog2

[Pinkavvy]

you're about to burnout. swim has been there with meth, way back in the day, and will now always advice against the abuse of speed.

[ventrue]

when it happened to me i laid in bed for 3 days i made myself believe i had the flu. it was exactly like a case of really bad flu. my friends all knew what was up, and just let me make myself believe it was the flu. after about 4days, sleeping 20 hours at a time sometimes more, i woke up and was fine. and since then although i still do speed i curtail it and stop when i feel like i need it. regardless of how it makes me feel.

[PooSniper]

Originally Posted by polloloco001

look in the addiction and
recovery section. in fact the moderators will
probably move this thread there. there is some
advice there about
things to substitute for speed in a thread called
"quitting aid for
amphetamines", although i didnt notice anything
about which foods to
eat to remain healthy, but i just looked through
quickly. also that
little thing you did with the "this is 1st person but its
about a
friend". we are all a little paranoid about that sort of
thing around
here. a lot of people use the acronym 'swim'
meaning someone who isnt
me and tell it like a 3rd person story. good luck.

Huh, I know this is an old thread, but don't you think
that talking in the third person is a bit paranoid? I
mean come on are the internet police gonna come
after us or something? (but hey if you have personal
information linked in your profile, I understand)

[wertfun]

I think stoping at all this suddenly is not good for person. But stop it for this time, dont take anymore clean your system by drinkig much and a little alcol is good also, couple glass off wine or beer.


Read this for the next time, next must not be soon, put things in order after you are cleaned 4-5 days. No hurry. Dont take more tomake things better. It will just burn you out. Just stop it for this time. This is as sure as 2x2= 4. Some time ago in mypost(up) I wrote an adwise about your problem.

[JimmyD82]

Hello everyone.

It is infact Jim82 here (account screwed up), And have comeback to say how im getting on keep in communication with you all ,avoid implosion. Thats the first time I read my original post since typing, It actally helps me realise things. I typed this myself, by my own admission stating the fact yet completely holding back the words "YOU MUST STOP", fragments of rational thought shining through pinholes - a battle.

WOW, I just looked at the date, I infact carried this on until 5 weeks ago until I finally stopped. Jesus, I went 3 and a hald months from that state, man..........


Im thinking of my onward downfall from then for the first time as I type this....well, lets see...ah yes the book I was using to keep tabs on the way I was, I decided to do this so I could actually remember unlike the time a year ago when I kept no records atall. Well if you went to the start of this book, July the 8th to be exact, entries were more of a scientific nature, a short note on dosage taken etc. The week after and onwards varied from sleep deprived ramblings to meaningful poetry. I think some of the stuff will no doubt be a bit shocking with regards to my descriptions of health allong the lines of my previous post and worse - I have not looked at it in a couple of months atleast. Anyway I was pretty much reguarly making entris into this but I know one night(will need to look), at a guess maybe october I was sitting after no doubt being awake for a couple of nights with a fair dose of speed in me, and I just sat and wrote the illegal thaughts crashing through my brain - This was to the point I was scribbling evrything down in big clumsy lettering taking up page after page (1 page=4 days calender space) and ended up filling the remainder of the book with absolute nonsense. Im sure I put a more meaningfull entry at the very back a few days letter basicly giving a final comment to finish it, im sure i was on a more level playing field.


Ok, To get more to the core of things here, I eventually stopped, not because of the stress headaches or the hypocondria or any certain event. No, It came to a point I REALLY had to stop, I was ROCK BOTTOM, It couldnt be more obvious to the people who cared around me., Im not a believer in the whole heaven and hell after you die thing but oh yes, I was in HELL, my soul drowning more and more as each day went on.

I would go on a night out and be totally paranoid and not even realise it. Ive learned that thats the weird thing with true paranoia, you couldnt comprahend yourself when in that mode within social situations. With me it was all totally real, when I look back the errors in thinking and judgement where seriously wrong - its unpleasant and just as much later on.......


Thanks if your still with me and your eyes havent melted, almost done. To cut a long story short, coming off this shit was bearable but the worst ever. The first week seemed ok, like the thaught of getting back to normal being my motivationto feeling ok. The second week, im thinking thats it all right out my system, is when you really land back to earth. For me it was total up and down. Motivation is non existent, I got little wisps now and then to carry on and get myself up to date with my life but most of the time feeling low.

Come the 4th week im generally ok. Been off it completely.

I went and got more, I beleive I wont let myself slip again after the ordeal, ive far to many reminders on whats at stake, These posts, the knowledge of close ones what i done and of course - the book, this is a good thing, as my memory is not very good at present. I think aslong as I take what I NEED to take to help do what has to be done I can beter myself. Ive made it a RULE not to have any before 6pm to ensure sleep. Its 3am now but believe me im totally knackred and am looking forward to crashing out after this. Weed can help take edge off any comedown feelings.

Im in Britain , and its amphetamine sulphate I always get. There seems to be no sites with GOOD info on this particular makup of amphetamines. I would love to get some good info\comparisons\experiances\dangers for this particular kind. Am I right in saying sulphuric acid is part of the chemistry hence the name "sulphate"?

Apologies for this huge post, im at the point where I badly need sleep, I tend to go off course and ramble a bit in this state but all is from the heart. I have friends and family I have spoke to but especially right now where im back on it but at moment and in control, I intend or WILL rise but I can't be coming out with all this right now to anyone, it wont work, thats why any advice now is priceless. Im gonna hang around and be a social part of the community. Social life is more important than Id previously thought being one of my many hard-earned lessons. Well there you go. Id better get off to bed.

Thanks allot everyone


Oh ye, poosniper, I must admit, that line at the bottom of my first post "Oh yea, remember Im on about a friend" - That is sheer paranoa like, I know, like, the internet poliice gonna come get me or something? Lol , great stuff mate, youve got to laugh!!!!

[JimmyD82]

Wow, what a mess. Im sure theres another thread I started when i was outta controll which was even more insane than this one - can't find through conventional search. Anyhoo, I hope ive not forced anyone to read all that who didnt have to before getting down here, I know I didnt! Heres an entry which i actually typed on MS Word as more of a record for myself due to lack of a log for the past 6 months or so, remembered about this good site, thought it may be appropriate to add to the madness which is this thread! here goes, I would like to think ALL if not the majority of posts made by myself at such dark times would make people think twice and be much more carefull before the sweet amphetamine becomes evil powder eating at your soul - not to be taken lightly. I know because I have learned - THE HARD WAY

Here goes

03:45am , 5th March '06

So here I am, creating the first record of this kind in a long time. So what to say....well nothing especially. Im aware of the problem in hand - that being in one word, BASS. I prefer to reffer to it as amphetamine or 'sulphate' for entrys such as these but cut it any way you like, slang as it may be, its BASS. Well in prevention of going off on a tangent, I shall move on........the idea that things should be written without second thought has entered my head, i feel a bit more apprciation for the philosophy all of a sudden, due to me pondering just there. OK so a "meat and potatoes" verdict of the situation, I shall try not to go (too) poetic and (try) to stick to the point. Continuing from where I think I left off from the infamous Planner which I last wrote in probably November the latest, well no, most likely much earlier as it was for 5 weeks ending the earliest December when I was last clean of the sulphate and recovering in a proper fashion with full intent. Yes I finally came off the foul smelling paste around then for over a month, and basicly fell into the trap coming closer to christmas. Timing couldnt have been worse, it rarely can after such borrowed time comes round and hits you like a sledgehammer. the rollercoaster ride of physical weakness rapped up with anxiety without motivation - this description not to be taken lightly, in my case anyway. From the past, 3, times I think of full on wihdrawl from amphetamine, I have learnt that good company can be as good a healer for the mind as any. With the last, or more accurately, this time around, coming to after being on it for months is quite overwhealming when you see the pieces of your life shattred around you. When the much needed tonic of social life has itself been damaged through past chemical events has been hit, this makes the comedown to end all comedowns all the worst. I know what I just went through although easily forgetten due to my psyci, Jesus, it was not nice. 4 days into being off it, I attempted smoking weed to ease my feelings. weed has done me wonders the past week but at the time of first smoking, with my head being the fragile way it was with my conscience just beginning to shine through, it turned out to be a bad plan of action. Rather than relax, the ganj done the opposite, with the past year of my life coming home, very hard-hitting, this realisation of events.

Ok well im gonna call it quits on this one now. This is for me, so high detail isn't required, just a general outline's what I think I was after. Impossible to be more specific, I could probably sit for the next 24 hours typing nothing but differant ideas which have lead me to such projects.

Lets say theres no Reason, It happened, such as life...

PS the fact remains im back on this shit, I must try my hardest to keep under control. I am certainly confident I shall stop before any mental decay, I truly believe this afterr last weeks mental angiush - At the peak at one point I can remember asking whatever force which may be above us for a second chance, It was that bad I went beyond any self-bleifs of time and mortality, as if a yound child, praying to god for something to happen, I was praying for my life. When any mental safety valves become non-existent, times like these are un-immaginable, one feels exposed. I was truly in fear for my mental health - never again, I make this vow now. If I was to compare this writing with an entry from almost a year ago, Its probably a safe bet that this one would be dry in comparison, I can sense a slight chill as I type this, I know im am trespassing on dangerous ground now, the previous adventure has lead to chaos. I must be strong and prevent myself from falling into the coma. My mind hasn't had enough time to properly heal, and now the sulphate runs back through my veins. One must be carefull, Ive been down that road before, the saying "a man would have to be mad to make the same mistake twice" seems appropriate. Yes mad, or weak, there ain't no excusing it, especially with such a Psycoactive drug such as the one in question, as opposed to the Physically craved horrors of opiates and crack. The ball is 100% in my playing field, there is no-one else who can truly fix my mind, other than my own man.

A note to myself - be carefull man.

Reputation Comments on this post:

[Beltane]

SWIM has a tendancy to get way into something for a time, do it to death and then move on to something else- be it drugs, food, sex, meditation, hobbies, whatever.

When he got into meth it lasted about a year. He went from a weekend user to daily user in the first month and used almost daily for the rest of a year. On average that year he'd sleep every 3 days, very rarely sleeping 2 nights back to back or staying awake that 5th day.

He quit working out, to which he attributes an overall atrophy and softening of his frame. Other than that, and about 2 months in bed to catch up when it was all over, no long term side effects have appeared.

He still stays up all night occasionally on such substances as cocaine, adderall, provigil, desoxyn or whatever's handy. He's done meth 3x (all in same week) since putting that particular substance down 7+ years ago with no particular emphasis.

He's fond of saying, to the few people who know these parts of his story and can appreciate the sentiment, "Most people have no idea the extent of abuse the human body can withstand." Evidenced to him by routinely staying awake for up to 5 days, eating very little and after sleeping a little at the end of a year to catch up, basically being fine. Of course he was around 25 at the time and therefore indestructable.

- B