More suicidal thoughts than usual...

[D.U.M.B]

Hey,
First off let me explain, I'm not suicidal at this the moment of typing this or am I generally let me explain...

I am not going to type up a long sad sob story of my life, but I have had a lot of things that have happened and effected me incl. the death of my mother and sister in the space of five years. But there is a lot more to it, but thats a story for a different day.

I am quite comfortable with my depression, I don't need any pills etc. But obviously there's those times where it all gets a little too much and I am a bit scared as more often then not lately anytime I feel a bit more down then usual, I get suicidal thoughts.

I can't really explain this, I don't want to die or anything. There's a lot to do etc.

Is there any explanation for why my thoughts lately my lead me to thinking about suicide?.

And before you ask about what drugs etc. I take. I smoke pot daily but take breaks ever so often. Haven't had anything else in the past 8 months. Acid once maybe. I know it might seem like I need to stop smoking but I don't see my smoking a problem with regards to my depression. It generally helps alot.

Anyway, a lot of waffling on there, but I dunno what I need in the sense of replies, tips? advice etc. I feel better having just typed this up