2 years of mephedrone addiction, getting out of control

[orano]

my friend wrote the following and asked me to post it here:

I'm oironically writing this whilst high,.. as its the only time i have the drive to seek help ironically!

I could write for YEARS about my experience over the last 2 years.

I'll summarize it briefly highlighting main features

Spring 2008..... loving legal high use for weekends to bring out the confident jokey me that everyone begins to love

Summer 2008.... gettingh high more often to try to imrpess this girl i began to like

Do however go through a desoxypipradrol stage,..... didnt sleep for ages and was hilluscinating and going mad

late Summer 2008.... we start going out, and i begin to be able to love spending time with her and feel like i dont need to impress her with the drug mask when around her....

Yet continue enjoying boith love and legals....

Autumn 2008.... this time last year was the best time of my life.... I spent £1,500 taking us on holiday to a suite in barcelona for 4 nights.... it was perfect (did sneak 4g through customs though, which kinda helped)

Late autumn 2008.... Oooh, GBL.... this is new..... i know what... ill do it every night because i find myself so i need of a relax from my company which i used to run, and make £45,000 profit in 2009.... whilst only being just 17 years oldf then and still juggling education

Winter 2008..... Oooh dear.... im GBLing whenever i get home now just to feel nice and ontop of stuff. sometimes i dont feel like it though, so have plenty of mephedrone instead on the nights of the week when im in!

Week before Xmas 2008.... GBL is too much of a problem! I'll go cold turkey..... 8 hours later i regain consciousness in room, bloody everywhere, ended up going to hospital and dont remember it..... had a cracked vertebrae and broken nose to show for it though.

Xmas 2008..... jittery and disjointed..... feel very self conscious about my nose now and im very much so in pain always. GF visits me plenty whilst im bed-bound.... and i just can't believe how i didnt feel the connection we had emotionally then because i was still taking her for granted and thinking about the drugs

Janurary/Feb 2009 have quit GBL for good now.... started taking ambien though.... had 2 nights where ive woken up after taking about 15 and hiluscinating like mad, then waking up in hospital

Feb 2009 - i pay £4,000 to finally get cosmetic surgery on my nose


March 2009 - me and the GF have a big fight about how my drug use has got worse again, and i say i love them more than her.... and we go on a break, whilst on this break for the first week, i go away on a school trip... and meph it lots.... i have a seizure 2nd day in, and the school isnt besty pleased after i go to hospital!

get back together with the GF a week after

April 2009 - i get suspended (let off easy seing as they found benzos, speed, MD and crystal meth, only due to substrates of amphetamine)
I promise to work hard in the exams..... and they let me continue out of worry for my wellbeing

..... and i keep using the drugs, I got kicked out of my house for a week after my parents hid all my drugs.... so i hid my dads medications... which he went bezerk over. During the week i stayed with the GF i just fell in love with her even more and her family as well!!!

June 2009.... AS levels start..... and my benzo use starts!! Wohey.... what were most of my exams about in my head?? .... Clonazepam!! Here, i spend lots of free time just getting high on my own whilst everyone else revises..... and im still high when the exams come!

benzos..... benzos.. dont remember too much in detail till early august.

August2009 is when me and the GF have big fights agin (that i can remeber at least)

i go on a family holiday at end of july and after we officially broke up in July 2009, yet continued on secretly till 7th august, she didnt come on the holiday as planned. i took maybe 4 clonazepam and a few grams of meph and got through them in the first 2 days. I ran out.... i got angry and grumpy.... i foughht with my dad and watched him cry just as everyone had over me recently!!! I didnt care though.... i had 50g mephedrone sitting at home and 100 clonazepam!!! i was set.

I paid £150 to get home on my own, and stayed with the GF for a week. every day id meph in the morning, day and evening.... then drink and benzo myself to sleep...... the gf was nearly sick of it, and officiallty broke it off as we wouldnt see eachother for month as i went off to newquay first ..

in newquay i take meph every day.... takes 600mg to get a hit now though!! So get through it fast.... then run outy of benzos on the last couple of nights....
Last noight of newquay i just get drunk, and end up getting back to the lodge and being so busive to guy who tried to get us to go to sleep that he calls the vcops, who i got in a fight with, and then spend the night in the cells over

rest of summer is just self pity feeling alone and missing the ex....looking forward to reading... a chance to get back together?

Reading fest (sep 09).... WE GET BACK TOGETHER, things get worked out whilst i was high. i promise to quit drugs for her... 24 hours later, she sees me high as a kite and then we're through..... 24 horus after that im psychotic wondering around clueless, have fotos of me covered in pot noodle sitting on my crushed tent.... pretty muchj sums it up!!! didnt sleep all reading

september 2009...... mephedrone every day..... 600-700mg doses just to try and feel happy again, i canty stop thinkinbg aboput her!!!!!!

october 2009...... mephedrone, xanax, coke, freebase once or twice.... he k.... pills, ket, whatever. just get them in my blood stream, and theni can live in my decluded world that drugs are helping me cope..... people begin t just not bother inviting me places or tryin 2 help.... because its always the same income, and now others are doing just what i do.... and the effects rte good for them

late october.... i have serious talks with the school after i walk in every day unshaven, bag-eyed, and clueless... yet didnt even realize i was so obviuous!! Id reak of mephedrone and look dead. I'd tyurned up to a headmasters detention high as hell.... i turned up to lessons with pupils looking like 2 pennies..... id just drifty in and out of eratic moods.... so i p[romise them ill clean up over half term.

Half term.... i abruptly taper xanax. yet still do mephedrone as im now accusttomed to..... so on sat night, i have a seizure alone on a train, regain blurred consciousness and dont know what happened, but deffo a seizure and some angry passengers

sunday night i end up havcign more;..... take 5 cops to hold me down as i just look for fights at hospital apparently. have cuts from the cuffs on arms etc. im usually a non violent person at all, was chatting with all the cops and etuffr afterwards and they all dsaid they were amazed!!

i walk out on tuesday feeling exhausted, com pletely not with it, and hellish.... this continues for the next week, etc.

i find thoiugh that mephedrone just perks me up and makes me right thoygh..... so still do it....

AND UP TILL NOW.

earlier in the week, the school expells me!

Im now going to take this year off and try to work, then finish a2 level year in sep2010.

Im now sitting round the house all day..... mephing it each day just so i get the motiovational buzz to try and think everythings gonna be okay!! But i need sleep more often!!! I cant use benzos of gbl to make me sleep.... so i drink copious aounts of vodk *actually, got a 10am appointent with the counsellor who says imvery lucky to be able to go to outpatient rehab in just 3 weeks time..... just gotta survive till then*just to stop the tightnessz in muscles, and calm the shakes.

when i wake up feeling like shit,i meph

My heart make the weirdest hollwo beats and like collapsing npoises when i lie down, can feel it flutter too.

hate this.....
i hate where ive got but everything just get worse and wose for me!

Im meant to be at school... enjoying my yoiuth! Now iv ruined my family, my parents are in tears and despair with me

im in etars and despair with myself

all i want uis the ex gf back..... she was everything to me!!! Compare my life to how it was at this point last year and what have i got now!!!

--------

above is a serious case of legal loving on my behalf!!

Every day i get through is just making things wors for me health wise, but i just cant get back up on my feet because drugs are all i say that will make me happy now a days, awith all this stress.... theyre what i naturally turn to!!! what can i do!?!?!? PELASE!

[theendperson]

Originally Posted by orano

Week before Xmas 2008.... GBL is too much of a problem! I'll go cold turkey..... 8 hours later i regain consciousness in room, bloody everywhere, ended up going to hospital and dont remember it..... had a cracked vertebrae and broken nose to show for it though.

Did SWIY pass out from the gbl withdrawal? Were the siezures from taking too much meph or withdrawal.

SWIM reciveved his first purchase of meph yesterday morning, well strictly the morning before looking at the time (more on this later). After taking a tester dose (very very low) to check for allergies (as far as SWIM could tell this drug is amphetamine related? SWIM is experienced with lots of other drugs inc coke, but no amphets - Thought I'd throw in a bit of safety) After having no bad reactions after 24 hours SWIM decided to take a decent dose (Scales not arrived yet - maybe not so safe but SWIM guessed a quantity of about 50mg and insufflated it through a crisp £10 note. It wasnt what SWIM expected, he wouldnt describe it as euphoria as he has seen other people call it, al least not in the way that coke gives. SWIM just felt very healthy, not on top of the world or invincible, but not that far away either. SWIM felt very energetic and positive which SWIM really enjoyed as he is usually pretty low on energy and in a low mood. Also due to a recent accident SWIM is in constant pain and moveing is hard. SWIM still felt pain, but he didnt give a shit, movement was free and easy, SWIM ran about the house and up the street for the fuck of it, which he only ever does when dosed up to the eyes on tramadol!

Sorry that bit wasnt exactly neccessary, but like you SWIM is on mephedrone when writing this reply and he has already found it makes him ramble on a bit.

Firstly SWIM would like to wish you all the best in your recovery. SWIM would also liek to know if the addiction to meph is physical? SWIM only had his first dose earlier today and its now 6.15am and hes getting readdy to take his 6th dose. PLease PM me to let me know how the recovery goes.

theendperson added 2 Minutes and 57 Seconds later...

Oh I meant to add that SWIY sees his GP about the insomnia he may be able to be given something none addictive to treat it (As SWIY obviously has an addictive personality, no judgement, just a statement) SWIM has chronic insomnia and has been put on amitryptiline and promethazine for it. Does SWIY think he would have a problem with Z-drugs?