please i need some honest guiding, not sure what to do.

[flashcash]

SWIM KNOWS IS KIND OF A LONG POST BUT REALLY NEEDS THE ADVICE

swim's 19 and was introduced to the stuff a year ago, during the first 5 or 6 months he fell inlove with blow, started doing a line or two a day and eventually found himself scoring a gram or 2, 3 to 4 times a week, thinking only about the stuff and his life rotating around coke.
then for a period of aprox. 5 months he developed a repugnance to it and ended up clean for a long time without even thinking about it.
swim changed completely the way he thinks about substances and in no way he'll abuse and be a slave of any kind of drug again.
a month ago swim scored some just for the sake of old times, and one more time after that. and now he's kinda thinking about it a few times a day, swim thinks the "thinking-of-it" is worst than any physical craving. plus swim gets really anxious about thinking of it because hes scared of a psychological addiction or obsession.
swim's thinking of scoring some and just relax and enjoy it for a day (like the past few times) to stop the worrying and the mind thing.

the past 2 times swim got 1/2 gr, sat in his room, listened to loud music and watched porn, just that, no comedown, no craving after and one time he even threw away what was left because he hates leaving that junk around for later, he rathers getting rid of it. in the old days he would get a line every ten minutes and not sleep for 2 days, and all that addict-like behavior, feeling he couldnt live without it.

is this recreational use? in no way swim feels he needs it but what about the mind thing? any ways to keep doing some a few times a month or once a week without worrying so much?
some "hardcore-addict" example would be good to get swim in a calmer place

[flashcash]

SWIM KNOWS IS KIND OF A LONG POST BUT REALLY NEEDS THE ADVICE

swim's 19 and was introduced to the stuff a year ago, during the first 5 or 6 months he fell inlove with blow, started doing a line or two a day and eventually found himself scoring a gram or 2, 3 to 4 times a week, thinking only about the stuff and his life rotating around coke.
then for a period of aprox. 5 months he developed a repugnance to it and ended up clean for a long time without even thinking about it.
swim changed completely the way he thinks about substances and in no way he'll abuse and be a slave of any kind of drug again.
a month ago swim scored some just for the sake of old times, and one more time after that. and now he's kinda thinking about it a few times a day, swim thinks the "thinking-of-it" is worst than any physical craving. plus swim gets really anxious about thinking of it because hes scared of a psychological addiction or obsession.
swim's thinking of scoring some and just relax and enjoy it for a day (like the past few times) to stop the worrying and the mind thing.

the past 2 times swim got 1/2 gr, sat in his room, listened to loud music and watched porn, just that, no comedown, no craving after and one time he even threw away what was left because he hates leaving that junk around for later, he rathers getting rid of it. in the old days he would get a line every ten minutes and not sleep for 2 days, and all that addict-like behavior, feeling he couldnt live without it.

is this recreational use? in no way swim feels he needs it but what about the mind thing? any ways to keep doing some a few times a month or once a week without worrying so much?
some "hardcore-addict" example would be good to get swim in a calmer place

[epote]

The definition of addiction in psychiatry includes subjectivity.

Id est one is addicted if one believes that he is addicted.

According to DSM IV a drug addiction is defined as:

A complex of cognitive, behavioral and physical symptoms that show that a person is using a substance despite it causing significant impairment in the persons life and happiness.

The criteria are three or more of these:

1) Tolerance (either need of increased amounts of substance for the same perceived enjoyment or diminished effects for the same amount of substance)
2) Withdrawal ( either through a characteristic for the substance syndrome or the compulsory use of the substance to alleviate or avoid withdrawal symptoms)
3) The substance is used for longer periods of time or in larger amounts than intended
4) There is a desire or failed attempt of the user to control or forgo the use of the substance
5) Too much time and effort is spent in activities related to the acquisition and use of the substance
6) Important social, professional or enjoyment activities are ignored or reduced as an effect of the substance use
7) The use of the substance continues despite the knowledge that it has a definite or recurring direct or indirect detrimental effect to ones health either physical or psychological.

So as you can see while most of the western world is "addicted" to coffee they wouldn't be actually addicts because it causes no other harm and is not perceived as one.

Ergo if swim is wandering whether he is addicted or not he probably is, mind you that is not that big of a problem...

Cocaine use at "moderate" amounts is a problem if one makes it be a problem. Its not that hard to pinpoint, and as many before me in these boards have said, if you are wandering what is normal and what is not you are at LEAST borderline not normal.

For example SWIepote has used in TOTAL no more than 15 grams of cocaine in his life (used first time when he was 22, he is 27 now), at the PEAK of his use he used less than half a gram per weak for a few months (no more than 2-3). He considered that as a problem though because he was obsessing with weather it is or isnt a problem, so it WAS a problem. In contrast a friend of swims uses half a gram every couple of days for 4 years straight, he is perfectly fine condition, he doesn't think its a problem and thus its really not (besides the legal one...).

There is no "hardcore" junky type of thing, some one that spends 40 danhars (the type of money used in danharia:P) a day for half a gram of coke that makes 40 danhars a day working and has no house is much more "hardcore" than a millionaire spending double that and living a perfectly fine life.

Obvisly there is a physical threshold, no one can sustain too much of anything actually, five grams of coke is too much plain and simple, it will probably send you to the hospital, but assuming thats not the case the point to remember and always enforce is this:

Make sure you are healthy both mentaly and physically, thats the priority

Reputation Comments on this post:

good,detailed informative post.helpful to OP.well done

[JesseXTC]

Agreed^ swim would also like to add.
he was never addicted to coke, but is currently addicted to opiate painkillers, and also hates the psychological aspect. he also wants to occasionally use when he does quit, but not for months after, and possibly none at all. but the thing one has to remember is, there is always a thin line inbetween recreational and addiction when it comes to these hard drugs, as one may think they're in control, and everythings ok and theyre not goin to get addicted. because this is exactly how swim felt when he was first doing pills, etc, and down the road look where he is now-addicted.
The thing is, swim thinks swiy understands this and wont let use get into the way of ones life again, just be sure when one says only one day, it is only ONE day of use, and to stick to that no matter what. Its mind over matter in this game, and ya gotta keep swiyour head straight, or the drug will overtake swiya again.

Good luck

Jesse

[flashcash]

any tips on how to overcome the mental obsession??
maybe some words or phrases to remember and turn to when swim feels his mind is locking on the drug and cant go trough the day.
BTW swim does benzos very often, never too much, just the prescribed ammount for his GAD (general anxiety disorder), he has valiums, k-pins, xanax and ativans... do they help when craving or obsessing about the drug?
sometimes swim found the sedation to be a good start for a coke binge, given the fact that benzos avoided all the sketchy, jittery effect
but at the same time the obsession is a form of anxiety, which benzos would be useful for... ::confusing::

[Scarface88]

Good luck.. SWIM used coke, 6 or 7 grams per week for over a year, then went from that to a country where it's impossible to find. SWIM has gone from that, to having it once in 11 months and the constant thinking, talking about, dreaming about and searching for coke have just, JUST began to subside.

[jgarlopa]

Also keep in mind that there is a difference between dependent and addicted. Addiction is psychological, whereas dependence is not. E.g., Cowboy depends on weed, but this is not a bad thing because he has to depend on something or else he can't fall asleep on his own. Mentally, he doesn't feel like he has to smoke a bowl so badly that he goes out to steal cars.

[epote]

Actually dependance and addiction are synonyms, and used interchangeably in the DSM-IV (diagnostic and statistical manual for psychologic disorders).

What you are saying is the lack of definitive withdrawal symptoms vs the compulsion to perform the action

[Bubbakush3069]

Just stop if you fear an addiction. Maybe start exercising more and using a steam room or sauna sweat out all your toxins..

If you really like cocaine and you dont want to stop. You must be reponsible and take control of your own life. Limit yourself to being a weekend warrior.. Just work harder make strides for your own success. Maybe coke could be a reward for good week at work.

Also the more you do the higher your tolerance is going to be so if you love it so much you must control your craving or else your just gonna be doing it to feel normal.