Socially Inept - Recovery Help

[Graduisic]

SWIM has abused benzodiazepines, marijuana, opiates, and DXM quite heavily for close to half of his short life so far. Slowly but surely, he is cutting down everything out of his life, he is sick of what it has done to him. He never realized how socially handicapped he would become as a result of this. He has always been a shy person, but now can't stay at work, talk to people, stay focused on a conversation, and even has lost his desire for romance. This isn't depression, it's fear and anxiety; terror even. It has been two months he has spent clean and is not noticing any improvement. He knows recovery is going to take more time considering the extent and frequency of his abuse, but SWIM needs some help getting through this. Advice, thoughts, experiences, or just words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated Thanks.

[Dickon]

I can identify with a lot of what you're saying. I remember when Cat first cleaned up from benzos, alcohol, and methadone in rehab. His general level of anxiety was incredibly high for months, and only really improved after about a year. For the first 6 months or so, he'd usually wake up with a knot of anxiety in his stomach which would take a few moments to dissipate. Socially, he was anxious as hell if he didn't get approval. This time round I still think that although for the main I am pretty upbeat about most things, there is still a residual low self-esteem, especially when I see other people who've succeeded in life.

I think you're probably facing a two-pronged attack here. One is from the fact your brain chemistry is almost certainly all over the place. After 10 years of drug use, 2 months is not a long time. Really, you "should" be barking crazy at this time, anxious as hell even to the point of terror even, especially as you were using benzos. Focus is again something that takes a while to come back. The second prong is that you probably have missed out on emotional maturing as well as learning life skills. While others were growing up, you and my cat were repeating the cycle of drug use. Opiates especially seem to stunt any kind of emotional development, making one hide from any issues rather than addressing them. There is one theory that says opiates act like a dam, and when one quits, all the feelings that have been repressed by using opiates come flooding back. Any anxiety is going to be worse in a benzo and opiate withdrawal since there are two components that will contribute to these feelings, the effect of quitting opiates, and the rebound anxiety/withdrawals from benzos which are particularly prone to induce anxiety.

It might help somewhat knowing what you feel is to be expected. As for what to do about it I think there are two ways to go. Firstly is some kind of "talking cure". Often simply talking about things helps; I'm not sure exactly why, but putting something out there may disempower it. There are NA meetings where you can share what you're feeling and most likely find others who've gone through similar experiences. Again, knowing you are not alone can be really helpful. Alternatively, some kind of counselling may be the way to go. This isn't tied up with any methodology and this can be an advantage. Depending on your situation and location, it might be expensive or it might be free. If it's an option it's worth considering.

Another method is to work with the body. Exercise can really help. I've found Yoga and Tai Chi to both be excellent for improving mood and getting rid of anxiety. I am myself a keen Yogi, and find after a class a sense of improved focus as well as reduced stress and anxiety levels. I have found Iyengar Yoga to be particularly beneficial although I go to general Hatha Yoga and Ashtanga Yoga classes too. There is no substitute for a good teacher, but at a pinch there are lots of videos on the net which you could follow.

Finally, I think one thing that has really helped me not loose the plot completely is meditation. It is not at all easy to sit still especially at first. I follow the Zen tradition, so sit facing the wall, and most days I sit for 2 periods of half an hour with a couple of minutes walking meditation in between. This is probably too much for most people, and when I first started meditating, I used to sit for between 15 and 25 minutes.

There are obvious things like diet and sleeping patterns that might be looked at.

The key thing is not to panic, and not to expect improvement to be lightening quick. It's all so easy to get anxious about every little thing. The body can be in complete "flight or fight" mode. Acceptance is a great thing. You are anxious. That's where you are. Don't get anxious about needing not to be anxious if that makes any sense. If you are mindful of your anxiety and breath into it rather than run from it it may help. Breath is intimately tied up with emotional state. When anxious people tend to breath quickly and shallowly from the chest. If you can breath abdominally so you can watch your stomach rise with an in breath and fall with an out breath this may help.

I think you've done really well getting to 2 months. That's fantastic. It will get better and easier, but it's a slow process. Have you seen the sticky thread on PAWS (post-acute withdrawal symptoms) in the opiate section. That might be worth a look too.

All the best

Dickon

Reputation Comments on this post:

	good supportive post with helpful tips
	Very helpful advice

[nutellajunkie]

I was happy to be given a link to this posting and to be honest, I completely understand.

You see SWIM has just started WD and its bloody difficult. He cannot imagine what it will be like in due course, all that he realises is the support on this group is better than first class.

The anxiety is only a small part of the symptoms and I completely sympathise having anxiety myself I understand what SWIM feels like with the knots in the stomach, and of course the other awful feelings that anxiety brings with it.

The low energy SWIM must be feeling again I understand this. Its hard to relax, its hard to complete tasks and its a bloody awful thing being socially disabled, again fully understand.

If SWIM isnt able to relax or do any relaxation do not feel guilty. Its not SWIMs fault. Its the demons fighting a good fight to try and get SWIM to medicate again.

Two months is a very long time, and im sure there have been breaking points when SWIM just wanted to take more medication. SWIM should be proud and happy that its been two months already.

There is no set time limit on how long it will take, and yes its one of the most difficult things that SWIM will encounter in his life. One just hopes that SWIM can take it easy and to know the support is here always.

I too suggest giving the PAWS a wee read. Even just reading many posts like SWIM has already done, it will keep the mind from wandering back to the cravings.

Take care.