Cravings - Worried about possible addiction, ways to control?

[FilthyMarkus]

Hello all. I would like to thank the admins of this site for providing such a useful place to discuss illicit substances openly. It is invaluable, thanks.

I have just started to get back into coke but this time ive started craving it more than the last time months back where I only did it occasion and when I wanted to.

Because of my shortfalls in financial income I am unable to afford a habit, SWIM is barely able to afford a gram, most of SWIM's money goes to parents to keep a roof over SWIM's head.

The other night after a week of doing some lines, SWIM started to want coke (none left) and couldnt think about anything else and found it hard to sleep. SWIM even craved it the next day and SWIM looks forward to soon when he can get another gram. SWIM didnt get this the previous time when he regularily used.

SWIM has had bad experiences, such as caked up nose and insomnia (understandable) and also headaches and sore throat (maybe because of little water intake that night). But now it seems to SWIM like it is neccessary. Also SWIM is trying to lose weight and has learned that being addicted to coke is a good way to lose weight but SWIM doesnt want to die and fears he may become known as a chronic coke abuser.

SWIM wants to be able to manage his cravings and make the coke last longer, and when life improves, such as getting a job, SWIM wants to cut down on it or cut it out completely.

The problem is that the variable quality leaves SWIM depressed if it does not give him a buzz and other times it really hits him. But this cant be controlled from SWIM's point of view.

But if it does become a persistant problem and SWIM does stop eating and taking part in everyday activities, what is the most pain free way to dull the cravings? SWIM has not been considered clinically addicted before and all other coke use in the past was not because of cravings.

Any help and advice is greatly appreciated.

[nitrogen]

swim relapsed again.. the cocaine is starting to make him hallucinate (other sounds, mind fucking with him)

just last night man, swim had no sleep, HUGE soar throat..

i know what swiy is going through man, swim has been craving cocaine for about 2 years now, and it's only getting worse..

swim called CA (cocaine anonymous) the local one, swim was talking to a guy and he was nice enough to offer to give swim a lift to tonight meeting..

sorry that i don't have much of a response or way to help swiy i'm just saying swim knows what swiy is feeling and swim feels helpless

time to go clean.. again... for swim

[Baked.]

Please watch out for self incrimination in your posts. No one on DF does drugs, we only know others who do drugs. When making a post, use SWIM instead of any personal nouns.

[FilthyMarkus]

I hear ya man, I recommend sipping on pure mineral water and not eating anything for 6 hours for the sore throat.

Just remember this, coke is expensive and not worth it, I decided today. SWIM had a good half gram left over and decided to cut some lines. SWIM's mirror isnt big enough for the job (previous one was which SWIM stupidly binned) and has chips on the side, which defeats the purpose because a mirror is supposed to be infinately flat, and the coke gets stuck in those chips. When SWIM snorted the lines, all he got was a numbing feeling and only a baby high compared to his previous yesterday. SWIM also forgot to chop it up and it had been resting in the bag a while so it was all clumpy, so what SWIM received was a load stuck in the back of the nostril (because it ended up in balls getting stuck to mucus), it was numbed for ages, even beyond any form of noticeable high. SWIM has been ripped off on this occasion. Or maybe he's lost the willingness to care about "treating" the coke before snorting it?

Just think, what are SWIY and SWIM acheiving? Spending time SWI-everyone could be using to cure diseases or better SWI-everyones lives, on cutting up powder with the thing we want only being 5% of it?

SWIM has lost all desire for coke based on this bad experience. It has turned into a dead end for SWIM and SWIM hopes SWIY will think the same way.

Peace friend.