The Misty Mountain - A decade of DXM abuse

[0skornenicholas0]

SWIM said....

III have been a drug user since III was thirteen years old, III have managed to consistently fly "under the radar" for all of that time. III have no criminal history or any kind, not even a speeding ticket, III live off the grid as much as humanely possible. When III was a teenager the net had just burst into the mainstream and few states had laws regulating the sale of research chemicals to individuals, and those that did really didn't pay much attention. I started the way most people do, drank a bottle of Robo because I read that it would make me trip. You all know how it went from there. I moved from syrup to powder, at the height of my addiction I was purchasing it by the kilo, seriously. 99.99% pharmaceutical grade powdered dextromethorphan. I bought a pill creation machine, the cheap kind people use when they make their own vitamins and such. I was averaging 1 gram per day for nearly six years. ::Please note that we are discussing doses of a lifelong addict and my tolerance is exceedingly high DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME:: The highest dose I took was 3 grams of DXM while I was camping in the Appalachian Mountains. It was the summer before my senior year of high school and I wanted to push the limits of everything. Unlike many users I can move about quite freely on DXM and experience no nausea past the initial coming up, I get a numb tounge but can otherwise talk and perform basic tasks. I am a champion swimmer, so by whatever means, I cannot recall, I slipped away from my 'friends' and into a large trout stream, I floated on my back and literally have no recollection of a two day span of time in which I apparently floated down a f'ing river. I will never know how or why I survived, I am a non theist so I don't believe in angels or Gods watching over me, I just quite simply managed to stay afloat and half conscious for two days. I ended up washed up on a camp sites man made 'beach' and of all things it was a Christian church holding a baptismal meeting. Life is exceedingly strange sometimes, this was NO exception. They saw it as a miracle and as the drugs wore off I was quite hungry so I joined them for dinner. Cool story, true story, but it was the highlight, next came Hell. I'm a smart guy but I ended up trapped in a local YMCA working for pennies, got married, and completely blew it. I was an addict, no matter how long I tried to stay away or what I did it ALWAYS drew me back in. After a year of marriage my wife left right after which I got a new job, a real job, white collar. The kind of job you can support a family on. I stayed away from it for a while and then my father was diagnosed with lung cancer, he has approx. two years at most left to live. I am still doing nearly 900mg a day at night and if I skip a day I get muscle spasms, blinding headaches and occasionally seizures. I am completely and utterly terrified that I am can't beat this thing and I just had to let someone out there know. I can't find a hospital with a treatment program and coming out as an addict is likely to cost me my job, I don't know what to do or where to turn.

Reputation Comments on this post:

The poster incriminated himself.

[Alias: V]

swiy should be ok, although if the tremors get any worse, swiy should see a doctor immediately. That sounds like a really heavy addiction and I'm not sure what withdraw would be like. swiy should cut back though, there may be some risk of brain damage, but no more than a concussion. How long has swiy been able to go without it in the past week or so?

[0skornenicholas0]

SWIY hasn't been able to last longer than three days, after which point SWIY usually ends up throwing up SWIY's guts and experiencing rapid muscle spasms until SWIY usually doses. SWIY is fairly sure there is a mild degree of brain damage, memory loss, loss of coordination, vocabulary, etc. SWIY can't find a local hospital or neurologist who will take his problems seriously, generally dismissed as another junkie.

[Kamuix]

Has swim thought of trying to wean himself off?

[guntroll]

I agree, weaning sounds like the wisest idea, SWIY would have to be able to commit himself to a long term schedule though, but it would be otherwise easier then any other method I can imagine.

[fnord]

Have you noticed whites looking brighter? Communicating with to others more difficult? The inability to speak as well as you used to in social situations? A loss of empathy?
My grandma had a extensive addiction/use and was using a few grams a day for a hwile and suffers from such symptoms that shes balmes on DXM.

[0skornenicholas0]

SWIY Checklist:
Sensitivity to white light: X
trouble communicating: X
No empathy: Unsure, SWIY is an extremely empathetic person but there does seem to be a "barrier" SWIY was a MENSA child with a unique ability to "shadow" or take on the persona of a twisted individual.