Cocaine Dreams

[Scarface88]

SWIM used to live in the UK and could obtain fairly decent quality cocaine, dirt cheap. SWIM used to use 4 to 6 grams per week, and SWIM didn't realise it was becoming a problem until January, when he moved away from the UK to Australia. This certain part of Australia where SWIM moved to.. Well, he wouldn't discuss prices, but he said that the cocaine where he moved to was over 12x the price of where he had moved from, and wasn't as high a quality. And that was when it was around, 90% of the time, it wasn't.

After pining for the stuff for a couple months, the (Withdrawals?) pretty much subsided. SWIM got coke a couple of times, and had the first time feeling all over again. But the price hindered SWIM so the usage stayed to isolated occasions. This was an indication that SWIM wasn't addicted - SWIM could obtain it, and could afford to obtain it, but the price completely put him off.

However, despite coming to this realisation, SWIM has noticed that AT LEAST four times a week (and that is when he can remember them), SWIM dreams about cocaine. SWIM dreams about next year when he is going back to the place he left for a holiday. SWIM dreams about finally getting cheap and decent gear in the place where he has moved to. Every single dream contains Coke, old dealers, old binge partners. All conversations SWIM has with friends which he left behind, pretty much consist of discussing how "sniffed up" they are all going to get when SWIM goes back next year. SWIM gets angry when he sees a coke bust on the news. SWIM gets jealous when he meets someone who has been on coke but has none left.

SWIM has gone from close to an ounce per month for a year solid, down to 2 grams in 10 months. But the dreams just don't go away.

Is this a degree of addiction? Or what is it? Does anyone else experience any of this? SWIM is very confused about it. Normally people who are ex users try and advise people of the dangers etc of the drug they used to use. SWIM doesn't. SWIM spends his time telling coke virgins about how coke is the drug of the gods and they should stop buying ecstasy and go out and get some.

[deadhead89]

SWIM doesn't. SWIM spends his time telling coke virgins about how coke is the drug of the gods and they should stop buying ecstasy and go out and get some.]

bad advice lol

mdma > coke

[chinpokomaster]

Coke is only better than mdma, in SWIM's opinion, if you're hooked, which SWIM kinda was/is, so satisfying the addiction was at least half the fun.

For SWIM, MDMA was a revelation. Cocaine is more of a dirty little secret.

[junkville]

Swim has the same issue, he moved to another place to get away from his hookup. It has been almost a year and he is still haunted by dreams and periods of intense cravings/memories of good times.

Swim thinks the dreams are the worst though, because he always wakes up after shooting some coke and never gets the rush. This makes him extremely depressed and fiending badly on those unfortunate mornings.

I think this may be the price we have to pay for experiencing the ultimate high. I guess Pandora's box may have been better off left closed.