Holidays coming closer, facing family????

[adam7050]

Just bought an airline ticket to make the xmas trip to visit the family, with little expectations of using it.

last xmas, swim was almost 6 months clean( 4 1/2 months clean but had 4 minor slips from halloween til xmas) The main concern was to make sure that swim showed up without his nose running all over his face cause he got his family involved for the 2nd time, partly because they were aware of the situation and were very concerned. Mission accomplished for xmas 2008, pretty stressed about 2009.

Most years, swims parents come to visit in florida in the spring, but that got skipped this year, so 12 months between visits is not the norm.

last year, swim was traveling, looking healthy working out, playing basketball, in the gym, etc..., but this year looks like 9 miles of dirt road, health deteriorating, down 20 pounds, just over all not good. . He accomplished his goal of seeing the family last xmas, looking good, but since it's been cocaine more days than not, especially the 2nd half of the year. His parents are aware that he is not clean, but have no idea the severity of the situation. Swim is very concerned that the problem is now obvious and would be embarrasing to his parents, with the extended family seeing the condition he is currrently in. ( swim's appearance has deteriorated considerably in 12 months, and would be very obvious to people he has not seen since) More importantly, seeing him like this would make his parents worry more than they ever have.

Simple solution: Quit now, and spend 3 months getting healthy? Most would think that swim made an attempt and failed, but he only got as far as thinking about running out of supply, and almost started to panic. The problem is severe at the very least, the usage is to the point that most would assume swim was making it up. The stress is building and swim needs a plan.

[Scarface88]

SWIM cannot offer a solution because he's no expert on the situation, far from it, he has read SWIY other posts and SWIY usage is far ahead of anything he is used to. However SWIM feels for SWIY and wishes to help in any way he can.

Maybe SWIY could let the Cocaine meet the rehabilitation half way? SWIM knows that when he got bad on the stuff (Not to an extreme level but enough to cause concern), he retreated to a method used for Canine training - reward schemes.

SWIM would tell himself OK, if you can go for 14 days without then you can spend X amount on it after that period.

Or if SWIY can save up X amount then he can spend Z amount. It sounds helpless but for SWIM it turned cocaine from a habit, right back to a REWARD for a good weeks hard work.

So why not set SWIYourself targets? Tell SWIY that if you can spend an hour in the gym each day then SWIY can have an 8 ball on friday, and if SWIY doesn't pull their weight in the week then they get nothing on friday, simple as.

I'm probably rambling, but SWIM said that it makes sense in his head when he ran into patchy ground. I'm just trying to share with SWIY what worked for him.

Also, regarding SWAY parents, I understand your concern that SWIY does not want to worry them, but just remember, a problem shared is a problem halved. Even though it worries them, they may be able to help SWIY.

The important thing is SWIY did 6 months which means SWIY has it in him to do it again.

[guntroll]

SWIAdam should... maybe spend all of his time and money volunteering and getting healthy?

Setting oneself goals like Scarface reccomended is the wisest thing. Try to set times Swiy can and times Swiy can't. Things Swiy has to do before you next time. Make sure SWiy eats full meals that are healthy and trys to keep his time filled with something else.

If Swiy want to quit and think Swiy'd gain something from a rehab, Swiy could even humble oneself enough to ask if they could finance a stay in a center for Swiy. It'd be wisest to sincerely try to control Swiy's situation on Swiy's own and if Swiy can't then nothing would make Swiy's parents happier then to help Swiy get clean, to state it optimisticly.

[Dickon]

Please don't post contact details in posts. Use PMs if you want to exchange them. I've deleted the relevant posts.

Thanks

Dickon

[adam7050]

sorry bout that

[Vein_Banger]

Come on soldier, dedicate swiy's self to swiy's health and physical appearance the same exact way swiy dedicates swiy's self to using!!! And swim doesnt even have to tell swiy how fast swiy could make a complete about-face, because we addicts dont do anything half-assed lol! swiy can do it man, we both know it!! Swiy has got 3 months, thats 90 days to whip it up into shape!!!!! Thats plenty of time if swiy starts NOW!!!