I hold my hands up...using cocaine and need help

[bwts]

Swim thinks he is an addict now.
Got a really responsible job, with lots pressure. (that's no excuse) swim works 4 x 12 hour shifts and they are long shifts. (money is not an issue)
Swim only get an 1/8 a couple times a week, and swim never ever does coke the day before work. I have to have a clear head and no comedown.

Swim gets home showers eats, everyone in the house goes to bed, and swim does it while playing pc games.. yea it's relaxing.

Swim has stopped going to the gym cos of it, stopped running cos of it, swim has been a right d1*k.

However, swim likes it too much.

Swim relaxes and forget about the sh1t days at work... it helps.
Any suggestions....??

I CANNOT tell anyone at work or family...

[nitrogen]

Originally Posted by bwts

Swim thinks he is an addict now.
Got a really responsible job, with lots pressure. (that's no excuse) swim works 4 x 12 hour shifts and they are long shifts. (money is not an issue)
Swim only get an 1/8 a couple times a week, and swim never ever does coke the day before work. I have to have a clear head and no comedown.

Swim gets home showers eats, everyone in the house goes to bed, and swim does it while playing pc games.. yea it's relaxing.

Swim has stopped going to the gym cos of it, stopped running cos of it, swim has been a right d1*k.

However, swim likes it too much.

Swim relaxes and forget about the sh1t days at work... it helps.
Any suggestions....??

I CANNOT tell anyone at work or family...

if swiy want to quit, swim has nothing to say, since swim hasn't quit it yet. but if you want swims advice on flirting with cocaine, all i can say is try to never disregard all the facts about addiction and where cocaine can take you, and have some concern. try to use it in moderation as much as you can. sadly swim is still a user, and has been for years and swim just does it atleast once a month, and at most on weekends. don't spend all your money on it, and just try to have clean time as much as swiy can

hope that helps

Reputation Comments on this post:

Good harm reduction, also good to mention where addiction can take you.

[TinfoilxTouch]

hooked at about an eight-ball every two days for over six months. After finally realizing the toll it took on his friendships, social life, family life and workplace success, he decided to stop.

Thankfully, Cocaine is one of the few drugs people get hooked on with no physical dependence. If you quit, there won't be any ill physical feelings or withdrawal symptoms. The only thing you need is the personal strength not to give into the cravings caused by the desire for the pleasure. This is by no means easy, but at least you aren't going to be sick at home for days or weeks like opiate addicts are when they quit.

What always worked for SWIM was simple. Whenever he had a craving and wanted to call his connection, he thought long and hard about the feeling he had the next day after sleeping off the drug, the guilt he had, all the times he was lucky not to be caught by police and sent to prison, ect. The most effective thought he had was remembering the feeling of watching the sun come up, totally high and freaking out because there were only a few lines left. SWIM always felt so dirty when he'd stay up through the night and then have to sleep the entire next day, those memories helped give him the strength to quit.

He can give you an honest time-frame for your recovery. If you stop today, you'll crave it every night for the next week or so. It'll be hard, but find ways to keep busy and be social. Be proud of yourself for each day you don't use. A month from now, you'll crave it when you're reminded of it, but it's not going to be on the forefront of your thoughts when you have free time. Finally, there will come a point where you look back and are so embarrassed and regretful of the habit, that seeing a line will make you physically recoil. You'll see the dark place you were, and hate the substance for pulling you in.

You can go to recovery, or an in-patient clinic, or whatever else. The bottom line is that it's not a drug you need to detox from, and it's not a drug you need to ease off of. Quitting coke is 100% willpower. You are going to miss the euphoria, so make plans for any free nights that will keep you busy, and hopefully happy with friends/family. The first night you're at home with yourself and your thoughts, the hardest thing will be not lying to yourself and saying you can use it "once in a while" and starting again.

Cocaine is a funny drug. The feeling it gives you while you're using is unmatched, but guilt of knowing you're a user drags you down the other 20 hours a day. You can use it for months with no consequences, but one night getting popped by the police and your life is over. It's not like pot- you could go from responsible user to serving years in jail on any given night.

Bottom line (sorry for the semi-pun).... use what you have left. Delete your connection's number from your phone. Set a date for a week from now where you'll do something good for yourself (buy yourself something, go somewhere, ect) if you are clean and put it on a calendar. From there, it'll be 100% easier.

SWIM knows it seems impossible to quit. You'll look back a clean year later and realize it was pretty easy in all honesty.

If you need help at all, message me.

Reputation Comments on this post:

Good strategies to cope with addiction, supportive of anyone trying to quit.

[guntroll]

Depends on how fed up Swiy are.
The easy way is to go to 1 8ball a week or 3 every 2 weeks. This is just lowering Swiy's intake by 25-50%.

The balls-to-the-wall method would be going to a SMART Recovery or 12step when possible and going to gym the days swiy'd normally do coke.

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Good advice about going to a recovery programme

[missparkles]

OK, firstly you say no one knows about your addiction, and you can't tell them.
Addiction distorts reality for the addict, you may think you're behaving normally, but I'd bet your close family have noticed the change in you and know there's something wrong.
The first step in recovery is honesty, and you've done that, which is awesome and extremely brave of you.
But now you need support, and your family are possibly the best support you can have, after all, they love you and know you. And you'll need people to talk to when you're struggling.
Yes, recovery programmes are excellent, but the fear of meeting someone who knows you, having to make excuses to people about where you're going if you want to attend a meeting, can be extremely stressful, and can lead to relapse.
I know your family may be upset and angry if you tell them, but I'm sure if you tell them you have a problem and need help to get better (that's how others see it, an illness that needs to be recovered from) I think you'll find they'll move heaven and earth to help.
What friends you choose to tell obviously depends on you. Work colleagues, unless they can be trusted, wouldn't be people I'd tell. As long as you do your job ok, they don't need to know.
But your family will be behind you, and they'll possibly be relieved to find out why you've changed, and that you want to quit.
Also, see your doctor, a counselor, in fact anyone who can help. It's all support, and the more you have, the less chance of relapse.
Most drug counselors have excellent insight and can warn you of just what to expect.
You have done brilliantly to admit you have a problem, Sparkles found that was the most difficult part, so give yourself a huge pat on the back, you've done well.
Please, feel free to PM me anytime you need some positive reinforcement, or just an ear to listen to you, or a shoulder to lean on, anytime luv.
After all, people were there for Sparkles, so she wants to hand that on, if you need it.
Take care.
Sparkles.

[jeepack]

12 step program is good indeed...

Hold your hands up... ok, but it's gona be hard if you don't want your familly to know. If you want, there are 12 step programs out there that are advertised as self developpement programs, you can usualy call and discuss your problems with someone in a confident matter, these should be people you can trust, don't worry about that. These people usually get paid SHIT to do their job and it is realllllllly hard, so their in it for you really.

What you can do is post as going there for a depression, or a burn-out from work, or at least just try to find info for one, then maybe one day you'll have it handy if you feel like really throwing in the towel

Cocaine's main hi is from getting a 'fix'
There a novel that came out many years ago, still a classic but I don't have the name handy that has a moral: Sometimes, wanting something is better than actually getting it. COCAINE COULD NOT BE A BETTER EXAMPLE OF THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Of course it is relaxing to do cocaine, because of the addiction, your body stresses you, then relaxes you when you get the fix, nothing in the cocaine is actually meant to relax...

Many curious people will want to try cocaine in their lifes because we see it soo often in movies and it looks fascinating to snort something up your nose. I can understand that... but, it's an addictive drug with no real positive properties other than being good buisness for the dealers... if you can, quit before you actually reach a point where you family will have to know, and trust me, it would be very likely...

Seek help, and you'll do fine

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Good advice about getting support. Just remember the rules on self incrimination.

[bwts]

FFS Swim done it again today, proper shit day at work.

[missparkles]

Originally Posted by bwts

FFS Swim done it again today, proper shit day at work.

OK, so today you made a mistake. Draw a line under it and start again tomorrow, you don't have to use again, just cos you did today.
It might be a good idea to look at the possible stressful points in your life, such as a bad day at work. To be honest everyone has bad days, but you have to find new, non drug using ways to deal with problems. If not you will use every day, after all something stressful, problematic, or just bloody annoying, happens every day. And it happens to everyone, even non drug users. It's also good to remember that no one, or thing, can make you feel bad or low, we allow people and situations to make us feel this way, it gives us the perfect excuse to use.

Now Sparkles isn't saying this happened today with you, but she recognises it as one of the tactics she used when she felt she needed an excuse, or a good reason to justify her heroin use, yet again. Have you ever experienced a time/day when you felt so good nothing could bring you down? That's because you were so focused on the great time you were having, you didn't allow it to. She does realise how the cravings for a drug can seem almost like a compulsion, a drive to use that you feel you have no control over. That's just your addiction fuckin' manipulating you. You can get past this, but it takes a lot of determination and effort, but if you really want it, you can get through this. Maybe working out when these cravings are worst, and making sure someone who knows you want to quit is around to give you some positive support, would help?

Don't give control of your life over to a drug, you wouldn't give complete control of your life to someone who was gonna lie, cheat and steal from you, would you? Well that's just what your addiction is, it lies to you and cheats you out of a good, healthy life. It will steal everything you value, but being the manipulative bastard that addiction is, it will prevent you from realising it until you've lost everything. And even then it won't be satisfied, it's insidious, and won't quit until it's exacted the ultimate price, your life, then it will leave.

Don't give it the power it doesn't deserve, treat it like a deadly virus, once you quit close all back doors it can creep through, without you even realising it's there. Like the back door it crept through today, when it convinced you a bad day at work was worth using, just to feel better. Did you feel better afterwards, and how long was it before the bad feeling, the one you felt because you'd used, kick in, cos it always does. Focus on what you want, be strong, and just get through tomorrow without using, just that one day clean will make you feel so good. And it will be a big achievement.

I have to say I am impressed by your honesty, lots of people may not have admitted to using today. And honesty is one of the most important steps in recovery. So well done luv.
Sparkles.

[bwts]

Well SWIM tried for 2 weeks and did not make it, found a new guy who's coke is good. So looks like back to square one.

[missparkles]

Originally Posted by bwts

Well SWIM tried for 2 weeks and did not make it, found a new guy who's coke is good. So looks like back to square one.

OK, don't beat yourself up. It won't undo what's been done. But remember what made it easier to stay clean for that 2 weeks and what was difficult, learn from this relapse, and put what you learn to good use next time you quit.

Sparkles.

[Peter_Stringfellow]

First of all, SWIM cannot be sure of SWIY's exact predicament, but they would guess that SWIY uses coke always in conjunction with Alcohol.

Anyway, if this is the case - and SWIM is quite sure it will be - the only way out is to give up Alcohol. Why? Because Alcohol destroys self-control. As long as SWIY is drinking, all self-control, discipline, etc. goes out the window and coke will always be on the menu - it's as simple as that!

So the real problem is the Alcohol. Contrary, to popular opinion, Alcohol is really nothing more than guaranteed misery in a bottle. Why? Because when we're drunk we do stupid things like spend huge amounts of money on coke, or try it on with someone we really shouldn't, or get in a fight over something stupid, and so on...

So, in truth, there is actually ZERO enjoyment in Alcohol because it takes ten times more than it ever gives. So I would reccommend you read Alan Carr's 'No more Hang-overs', which is a book that tells you how to give up drinking. I used it and have not drunk anything in 4 years - it really works. Once you are not drinking, you will find that your coke habit just dissappears.

Furthermore, I would NOT recommend that you give up ALL drugs because I believe that it's very important to have some form of escapism from the daily grind. It's just I feel that Alcohol is one of the worst drugs there is and that most people would be better off without it.

[missparkles]

Sparkles totally agrees with PeterStringfellow that not everyone has to give up all drugs after addiction. But the psychological aspect of addiction is easily transferred from one drug to another. It's called cross addiction. Using anything in recovery has to be seriously considered.

Sparkles.