Setting up a Family Support Service for Relatives of Addicts. What Would be Useful?

[Dickon]

The organisation I volunteer for is setting up a family support service to help relatives of substance misusers, and is currently looking at how best to implement such a service. I thought it would be interesting to see whether people on here have had any experience with any such service or have views as to what such a service might usefully provide and how it might do so. Also, any input on what can constructively be said to families members to help them better support the addict (I'll use this term rather than the more PC "substance misuser" as it's easier, and I'll use it to include those with alcohol problems) would be great.

To set the ball rolling I'm going to put out some ideas as to the kind of things that might be considered and some of the questions that might be asked. Remember, any practical details here would be useful, such as whether to have child care support or what is the best time of day to have meetings.

So, what sort of things might be provided? I guess some obvious things would be peer support groups, 1-1 sessions for individual family members, awareness raising sessions [information on what to do in the event of an overdose, what treatments are available and general information about addiction etc], sessions with members of a particular family and "mediation" sessions in which the addict is involved too if communication is difficult.

Would it be useful to provide a visiting service to those who find it difficult to travel, i.e. a mother of a young child with an alcoholic/addicted partner?

The service doesn't plan to adopt any particular ideology, but what do people think about "tough love" v "soft love". Do addicts/alcoholics fare better if their relatives refuse to enable them, kick them out of the house, and make them face the consequences of their actions or is a gentler more loving, perhaps harm minimisation based approach better? What kind of harm reduction could usefully be delivered to families? For example it seems like basic first aid might be a possible life saver in the event of an overdose. Is it likely that if family members were taught about safer injecting they could then pass this information on to the addict. Would it be useful if they understood more about addiction?

Do relatives need to at least be taught the basics of codependency so they might more better see what they are and what they are not responsible for? Is the support in itself the most valuable thing, and is peer support better than professional support or would a mixture of both be optimal? Do we need to think about providing relapse prevention tips to help the addict if he does seek treatment (either substitute prescribing or abstinence based)?

These are just some of things anyone replying might consider. I'd really value any replies and, who knows, I might even throw a bit of reputation out as an incentive!

All the best to everyone

Dickon



P.S. I have just checked, and there are each week currently 5 Al Anon meetings in the county I live in, and 2 in Oxford itself. This, for those that don't know, is a 12-step family support service for relatives of alcoholics. I should try to attend one of their meetings to get a feel for what goes on. If there is anybody here with any experience with Al Anon or Families Anonymous (which is to NA as Al Anon is to AA) I'd be grateful for any reports, positive or negative. There are no Families Anonymous meetings in Oxfordshire at the moment.

I found this and figured this might be useful as something to discuss when it comes to what advice / information might be provided. It comes from the Families Anonymous UK web-site.

Dos & Don'ts

DO Focus on your own reaction and attitudes.
DO Allow other people to accept their own responsibilities.
DO Manage your anxieties one day at a time.
DO Invest time reading helpful literature.
DO Learn to be open and honest.
DO Involve yourself in Families Anonymous.
DO Encourage all attempts to seek help.
DO Seek the good in others - and in yourself.

DON'T Accept guilt for another person's acts.
DON'T Nag, argue, lecture or recall past mistakes.
DON'T Overprotect, cover up, or rescue from the consequences.
DON'T Neglect yourself or be a doormat
DON'T Yearn for perfection.
DON'T Manipulate or make idle threats.
DON'T Overlook the growth opportunities of a crisis.
DON'T Underestimate the importance of 'release with love'.
DON'T Sit at home feeling depressed, when you could be attending a Families Anonymous meeting, helping yourself and others.