SWIM is 18 years old and have been using GBL 24/7 for the best part of half a year. SWIM is finally trying. SWIM knows all too well that SWIM is stupid to let this happen. This is SWIMS report on GBL.
SWIM developed strong social anxiety after moving to a very isolated village in spain for the most of SWIMS teenage life. SWIM believes this to be the reason, anyway. Since SWIM got back around 1 year ago SWIM have been battling SWIM tried benzos for around 1 month with little success. After hearing GBL was a great treatment for social anxiety, SWIM decided to order some from the internet. After trying it SWIM loved the buzz but didn't really notice strong effects on SWIMS confidence levels. As the story goes SWIM don't know how SWIM got into this regime of dosing, but SWIM know that SWIM started dosing say 4 times a day and gradually then anti-anxiety effects changed SWIMS mindset and SWIM fully appreciated the benefits for social anxiety. A one off dose left SWIM less anxious but SWIM still had SWIMS old shy personality traits. However, after using it several times a day every day left SWIM in a constantly having no anxieties. Along with this the pro-social effects of GBL really shone through. SWIM loved the new me. This seemed great, but was very dangerous.
The false sense of security fooled me. The more SWIM used, the better life became. SWIM does not mean the high was making SWIMS life, it was what SWIM could achieve. Alas, great things did happen, but bad stuff happened too. A lot. The worst thing is that having no anxieties means the bad stuff doesn't matter. Things get worst but in the world of G it's all the same. SWIM was living in a world of lies. It was beautiful at the time, but dreadful when sober.
It took around a month or so for SWIM to become fully aware of how myself and GBL interact. SWIM sorted SWIMS problems out and learned SWIMS lessons. However, SWIM wanted to keep using, SWIM believed SWIM could manage it. SWIM tried not to overdo SWIMS doses. SWIM would take 3 to 4 days off every couple of weeks with minimal withdrawals. This gradually became 1 to 2. And SWIM ended up ordering more before SWIM had even run out.
SWIM has been taking around 1ml - 1.5ml every hour for around 2 months now. SWIM believes SWIMS usage has peaked. Full on 24/7 dosing with a large dose of around 4.5ml maximum to send SWIM to sleep. If SWIM were to take a smaller dose at bedtime SWIM would get much less sleep before waking up craving and not being able to sleep. With a large dose before bed and a moderate dose, 5ish hours later SWIM is able to sleep a maximum of 9 hours. It does SWIM over. Having woken up hundreds and hundreds of times over the duration of SWIMS usage. SWIMS had enough.
My tolerance has obviously gradually. To get properly high or when faced with tough tasks/situations SWIM takes 3.5ml or sometime even 4ml. After this, SWIM does not need to dose for another 2/3 hours when SWIM will start at the usual 1ml/hour.
Withdrawals. SWIM is always surprised at how mild they are and is very thankful they are not worse considering SWIMS stupid and copious usage.
The first time SWIM ended up climbing a mountain 2 days in the blistering cold. SWIM had very little GBL the first day and none the second day. If your really trying to quit GBL, doing something this physical works wonders. Of course SWIM felt like shit and at one point SWIMS fingers became so swollen SWIM thought they were going to explode. Finger swelling is a random symptom SWIM gets when quitting.
Second time SWIM had to wait for the next delivery so went straight to cold-turkey from SWIMS usual 1ml every hour. It wasn't all that bad. SWIM was anxious and couldn't leave the house, sure, but a bottle of wine throughout the day and SWIM wasn't too bad except for insane cravings. The night came. What a night. SWIM drank another 1/2 bottle of wine to help sleep but it did nothing. SWIM had an adverse reaction to Diphenhydramine (standard dose) which left SWIM the the twitchies for a few hours as well. This is a shame since SWIM hears it helps a lot with GBL withdrawals. SWIM ended up fed up at 4am so went on a mad binge - downing any strong alcohol SWIM could find. Finally sleep came but SWIM was awoken some 1 hour later needing to pee and then took around 1/2 an hour to get back to sleep. Insanity it was.
SWIM is here having dosed 0.5 ml every 2 hours or so and feel fine apart from a sore throat, a head ache, and swollen fingers. SWIM really does want to quit this time. Alas, it's time for SWIM to revert to the old anxious SWIM. You wouldn't believe how annoying it is having to dose 1ml every fucking hour!
19-09-2009, 00:30
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