Treatment - SWIM has a drug problem...

[3xtr4]

SWIM has had probably the worst summer of his life this year. He isn't going to bore you with details but SWIM has a 9/10 day drug habit now.

His big problem is the evenings. He doesn't really do drugs during the day, but he loves having something to look forward to in the evening. He feels almost empty and shell-like if he decides he isn't going to dose later on that night, and to be honest nowadays he rarely keeps to that decision.

SWIM loves codeine and alcohol, his main two vices. He always swore his codeine use would be occasional but now he's using 3-4 days a week, trying to keep it every other day for the sake of tolerance. He just loves the feeling so much. He is a drinker and can't seem to drink responsibly, when he drinks he is always hammered. He smokes cannabis on days when he decides his liver needs a rest. Maybe once a week or so.

SWIM has been struggling with a secret depression these past few years. Nobody knows about it in detail and the true extent of his use in unknown to anyone - he always lies to a close friend who yells at him for using drugs (very narrow minded on the subject though). Using as a form of escape seems to be his way of replacing the suicidal fantasies in his mind, it gives him something to live and look forward to.

SWIM has potential. A smart, young adult male. Barely the legal age of drinking alcohol in this country (UK - 18). He knows things will only get worse, he just doesn't know how to go from using in a such a habit to not using again. He cannot use recreationally, his personality is too addictive. He can't remember the last time he had a sober 24 hours, it has been so long.

Thanks for reading, it's quite long.

EDIT: SWIM should point out he is not physically addicted to codeine.

[coelho]

Well... swim thinks from the 3 mentioned substances, cannabis is the most harmless. Swim understands that replacing an addiction for another isnt a very great improvement, but surely swiyour health and life quality would get better if swiy could replace both alcohol and codeine by weed... and after it he could try to stop smoking, if he really wished to get clean of any mind-altering substances... stopping smoking weed is way easier than stopping drinking or taking opiates, so swiy could use weed to help to stop the other ones, and after getting clean from them, stop smoking.

[missparkles]

Sparkles ain't gonna lecture, he already knows the risks, already knows that he has an addictive personality, and already knows he's in trouble emotionally. So she's just gonna say "see a doctor, get some help with the awful depression."
Till he does that, he's gonna struggle to deal with the substances that are masking the symptoms. His doctor will understand, and he may need meds to stop the drinking, as it can be dangerous to stop abruptly.
Remember that, don't just quit alcohol abruptly, it may harm you.
No one here will judge him, the posters at DF are so supportive But please...get some help. He'll possibly find that talking to someone, someone who can offer him some hope for his future, will make all the difference.
Then decide, when he's feeling more positive, what he's gonna do about the addiction. Keep your chin up love, don't forget, there are lots of people who'll be there for him, he's just gotta ask. Stay strong sweetheart, the biggest part of any problem is admitting it, it gets easier then...honest.
Just one thing, use the search engine, look at what helped others, check it out, it might help you.

Take care.
Sparkles.

[Oxymorphone]

For the depression... of course a doctor would be the best choice for SWIY. Though I personally have a bone to pick with anti-depressants, as years back when I was prescribed them, the couple I tried made me worse... I've heard plenty of success stories to say they're worth a try anyway.. see what SWIY's doctor thinks.

SWIY's first step should be to force himself to stop the codeine/alcohol. At around 4 days per week he can still do it easier than if he keeps up his habit. He might feel like an empty shell, but that will go away. When SWIM was getting off his daily dilaudid habit he used marijuana to ease things, but eventually quit that too (though he doesn't plan to permanently). One of the biggest helpers for SWIM was distractions. Anything SWIY can do to remain slightly entertained will be a blessing. Even if he doesn't feel like doing it, whatever it is, give it a try. Opiates have a shitty habit of taking away enthusiasm even if SWIY isn't physically addicted, but it goes away.

Sleep also helps break a mental addiction, as does distancing oneself from the supply of the substances.

Just do it. Force SWIY to do it, and after a little while, interest in things other than taking codeine will return. He'll be glad he did and that alone will likely help his depression. Not feeling like he needs to do something is a bigger freedom than most realize until they force themselves to quit an addiction or habit.

[3xtr4]

Thanks for the replies.

SWIM should point out he isn't physically addicted to alcohol. He isn't physically addicted to anything, it's purely a psychological dependency.

He just doesn't know what to do or look forward to without drugs. He knows that if he could root the emotional problems he would probably use substantially less, but it isn't that simple. He wishes he could deal with things without having to get high... he just feels so ashamed for getting into daily use. He feels like a drug addict and even though his usage is nothing beside some people here's usage, he sometimes says in his mind, "Fuck it, I have a problem so I may as well use tonight". He now has so much sympathy for the stigma long term, hard drug addicts have to endure - SWIM is ashamed of who he is becoming and currently he only has himself to answer to!

As for replacing codeine with cannabis, SWIM would rather not. He used to smoke it a lot when he was younger and now when he does it just makes him panicy and uneasy. He loves codeine for the guarenteed calm and warmth, the pleasure and everything that comes with it. SWIMs mother has sported a socially acceptable, NHS funded tranquiliser, anti-depressent and anti-psychotic habit for about 15 years and he is very, very distrustful of them after seeing what they have made her into.

[missparkles]

At the end of the day SWIY is using drugs to deal with feelings he can't cope with. Regardless of the substance he's still addicted, and he still needs some help. No need to feel ashamed or embarrassed, he wouldn't feel bad if he broke his leg, this is no different. This is an emotional break, it can't be seen like a broken leg, and it's more difficult to fix, but it can be done.
Just go talk to someone, someone who can provide some much needed practical help.
Take care.
Sparkles.

[MarkyMayhem]

if SWIY does not have a habit [physical addiction], what does "...a 9/10 day drug habit..." mean then?

Reputation Comments on this post:

Good question to ask OP.

[3xtr4]

Originally Posted by MarkyMayhem

if SWIY does not have a habit [physical addiction], what does "...a 9/10 day drug habit..." mean then?

By that SWIM means he uses something for 9/10 days. Maybe 4-5/10 of those days will be codeine, the other 3-4 will be alcohol or cannabis. He does this for two reasons: help lower opiate tolerance and because alcohol is better at knocking you out.

SWIM is setting a date for which he will try to stop outright. He will still drink socially but will try and adhere to not drinking alone and not getting completely leathered. He is really going to miss codeine if he succeeds (he is confident this time) and wonders if a once in a while habit of it would work? Only lower doses, saying around 100mg. Or do people find that once in a while becomes once in a week and then it just starts again?

[missparkles]

Once you have an addiction to a drug, once in a while usually becomes every so often, then the gaps in between get shorter.
All the time you tell yourself, "I can stop if I want, it's my choice, and I don't use everyday."
The same rationalisation SWIY used before he got addicted this time. So it might be a good idea to not go back to it.
Just my opinion, that's all.
Sparky.

[BoyInTheCountry]

SWIM knows exactly how you feel, the depression, needing something to almost just pass the time, lying to a close narrow minded friend, SWIM has also had THE WORST summer of his life, the hiding of the sadness, SWIM is even the same age. SWIM has recently stopped taking drugs though after taking stimulants daily for 9 months and gbl at night to sleep, he stopped after a horrible falling out with a particularly close girl-friend over the issue. He has now been clean for a month of all substances, even alcohol aprt from the odd Friday night. SWIM still feels upset and slightly depressed over things but he now feels as if a weight has been lifted as its one less thing to hide and feels he is slowly re-building close friendships that were damaged. SWIM still gets urges when he feels down or is bored but he says no and saved himself the money.

SWIM knows he hasnt really given advice but just to let you know there is someone who is in a very similar position. Please please by all means feel free to PM me and get in contact if you would like to talk to SWIM anymore, SWIM says its comforting to find you as you are almost in a identical postion to him.

Good luck!

Reputation Comments on this post:

Supportive, relating to the OP, telling them they're not on their own, well done.