Side effects - Did MDMA do this to me?

[Viperik]

I'm not really good at English but I'll try my best. Here's my story:

I decided to move to a diff country somewhere in Asia. Met some new people.

I was introduced to E; was doing 1/4 [pink disney(?)twin hearts] on three consecutive nights. After that, I was dropping every week (3 times on average)

After a month I've noticed I started to pay less attention on the high and be more aware of my surroundings (ie try to suppress the effects of the drug). Because of that, I slowly started to realize the new friends Ive made were talking badly behind me. I was completely hurt but I ignored it and this went on for a few weeks.

After that, I noticed I developed aspergers syndrome (WTF), paranoid psychosis, and my eyes seems like they are still slightly dilated. I'm hearing whispers of ppl talking badly about me but I'm not even sure if its really happening when I'm all alone in the room. I've become unable to trust ppl even the ones I love. I cant even look straight at ppl's eyes anymore. I feel awkward. I hated being social and when all attention gets focused in my direction, I begin to sweat profusely even when its rly cold.

How could this happen? I've only been doing MDMA for prob 3 months. Was I traumatized by experiences of overhearing friends talking shit about me under the influence?

How would I go about getting my old self back? Ive quit the drug for 2 months now and I have no confidence anymore (even though not to be vain, I get hit on alot so I think I'm not a bad looking guy), my eyes still look crazy like, I have problems interacting with ppl. So bad that I think they think Im a drug addict even when I stopped using. Now Its rly hard for me to do tasks that I would not even worry about back then. Like going outside without being obssessive over whether people around me are talking about me or suspect I'm doing drugs. There has been several occassions I've actually heard people mock, but any normal person would just shrug this off or even better confront. I'm unable to do so instead just keeping it inside me.

Note - I noticed when taking E, I dont completely get affected by it but the after effects of the drug lasts for weeks. (depression, anxiety, Ocd-like behaviour) Also, since I was new to taking the drug, I was taking Valiums for sleep aid.


HELP