Off the methadone and scared....

[kailey_elise]

Try to get into some counseling if you can, to help you with learning new coping skills.

SMART Recovery meetings are supposed to be really good with that, and they actually have a LOT of them online. My wife's therapist runs an online meeting she attends & she likes it very much. IIRC, SMART Recovery is basically group-oriented cognitive behaviour therapy - it's not anything like AA/NA/12-Step programs. You might want to check it out:

http://www.smartrecovery.org/

Other than that, just keep doing what you're doing - keep busy, get into things that give you some pleasure & occupy your time (like painting, perhaps spending time with the kid - taking a walk with him or something). The craving *WILL* pass, and over time they come less frequently.

As LH said, do be careful with the benzos, but I also know what you mean - both my best friend & my wife (and many others, to be honest) have stated that the anxiety is the main thing in early recovery that will send them back to the dealer lickity-split. But do be careful - you don't want to get addicted to the benzos too, because benzo withdrawal can be hard, plus rebound anxiety sucks shit. So take the lowest dose you can get by with and try not to take them every day if you can get away with it.

Best of luck, JSC! It's hard work, but it can be done.

~Kailey Elise