desperate cry for help. oxy/perc add.

[DAZED&C0NFUSED]

my friend told me this today:

i've never felt so stuck in my life, i don't know how so many people on here can live w/ addictions for 5-7 years of thier life. i've been dealing w. oxy/perc addiction for the past year and i'm sick of it. it all started the summer of 08' a few perc tens here and there, than i started doing percocet 30's and now i do whatever i can do to get messed up. it got really bad around march this year i'd have to do a 30 before i went to school, when i got home, whenever i went out. i wouldn't want to go anywhere unless i had some kind of pill. this summer i've tried to stop about 4 times, i stop for a little bit and than just manipulate people into them thinking im okay enough to do them again. i broke down to my mom and told her everything and told her if i can't stop this time to send me away. i'm trying to get suboxones from a doctor but i'm not sure on how to go about it ? it's ruining my life, seriously im 18 years old and more stuck than most people i know. i feel like i've been hanging out in rock bottom, and i think i'm seriously sick of it. i've been beating myself up about it just thinking about how it's going to cross my mind for the rest of my life, ill always be thinking of these pills. theres been a few nights where ive been scared to go to asleep b. i'm afraid i won't wake up. im tired of crying to my friends about how badly i want to stop, and than not following through with it, i know theyre sick of it too. and the withdrawl? the runny nose, constant yawning, throwing up, i can't eat anything without it going right through me. my nose always burns, b i them up and snort them. i wouldn't wish withdrawl upon my worst enemy thats the main reason i haven't been able to stop i can't take being sick.. my addiction isn't some little drug problem, i weigh about 110 pound and stand at 5'1, i can do an oxy 80 and be completley okay, most grown men that mess around w. drugs can't even do that much. i feel like i'm looseing hope minute after minute.

my friend appreciates any advice and support.

Reputation Comments on this post:

Please swim and remember not to selfincriminate

[rokman nash]

Hey D&C your in the right place to get started with something that can work for Swiy. To begin with you have recognized that there is a problem. You know that Swiy can not go on this way. As someone who is in the beginning of prolonged sobriety, my friend Dave can only say that it can be done, and it can be done quickly.

If Swiy can get ahold of some subs, via a doctor or the street it can be done relatively painlessly. Dave does recommend seeing a licensed doc to begin to verify Swiys health to begin with. There are a number of threads in R&A to help with this process regardless of what route swiy chooses. Check the stickies at the top to begin with, and if Swim can help he would be happy to provide any support he can.

Dave's threads are Descent into oblivion, and Dave's going to rehab. There are many more here that can provide info/help/answers to questions that Swiy will have.

PM anytime and Swim will help Swiy in any way.

Good Thoughts

Reputation Comments on this post:

Supportive and helpful, giving the OP some practical advice and options.

[cra$h]

Swim's in the SAME exact position. Barely begun living life and he's already caught in a rock and a hard place. What first started out as a little vacation became stress relief, to self medication, to money issues, to fear of w/d. As much as he hates the drugs he loves it. What do you do when not even the "best" drug doesn't help anymore? To the best of luck, and it'll be interesting to see how we both turn out in a couple months. Make sure you keep us posted on how recover or lack there of progresses, and swim'll do the same.

[Dickon]

Dazed and confused,

First off, you're not going to die. Well, we all are going to die, and I can't guarantee that when you drift off a piano isn't going to fall through the ceiling and dispatch you into the afterlife, but you know what I mean. Opiates, especially pharmaceutical ones for which the strength is know, are very safe drugs. The only real danger is if you suddenly dramatically increase your dose, or you add significant amounts alcohol or other drugs into the mix, or if you do manage to quit for some time and resume using at previous levels. This last one is particularly dangerous, so if at any time you do have a relapse do not start gobbling oxy 80s like there's no tomorrow.

You may feel like shit and be anxious as hell about the future but you are not in immediate danger. You say you have made 4 attempts to quit this summer. How far did you get? Did you ever manage to make it through the withdrawals or was it the severity of the withdrawals that drove you back? Some people seem to be able to get through withdrawals but can't stay off, but for others it's simply getting through the withdrawals that is all but impossible.

There are several options for you to get off the drugs. I suggest you have a quick look at A how-to guide to opiate detoxification. You need to consider initially whether you want to quit everything or get a maintenance script (usually either buprenorphine/suboxone/subutex or methadone). I freely admit I tend to suggest that people come off altogether if they are capable, in which case getting some clonidine might be the way to go. This dramatically reduces the severity of withdrawals, but is not a recreational drug in any way. More details are on the how-to thread.

Also, I get the feeling you might need some help. There is an awful lot more to addiction than simply being dependent on the drugs, and for nearly everyone some kind of support is needed to get clean. There is of course rehab, either full residential or a day programme. Less intensive would be counselling or going to 12-step groups such as NA. Have a look here for some information if you are interested: Narcotics Anonymous, Alcoholics Anonymous. Information on 12 step fellowships.

You are not the first to walk down this road and neither will you be the last. My cat has spent about 16 years of the last 21 addicted to opiates and a host of other things too. He's been off everything for over a year now, and feels infinitely better for it. Life is fantastic. You can do it!

Oh, and what's a Percocet 30? Surely you mean something else here? I'm confused.

All the best

Dickon

Reputation Comments on this post:

Important point about keeping it real, offers practical advice and reminds the OP about lowered tolerance dangers.

[DAZED&C0NFUSED]

i'm sorry ii forgot about the last rule in these posts, so..

" my friend rachel well call her " is that better ?


thank you, guys at first i thought i wasn't going to get any responses even that started making me feel helpless.about these subs' rachel doesn;t know where to get started she's \ not sure which doctor to go to or anything. i watched her break down to her mom last night.. i've never seen her mom so disappointed and that just made me wanna punch her but they agreed to go to the doctor on weds they just don't know where is it a regular family doctor? the reason theyre goiong on weds is b. her mom is like a care taker and she stays at this ladies house to take care of her and this week she left this morning and isnt comming back till weds and until than rachels told me shes been looking for soboxins on the street but she cant find them, so she's just been doing what she has to do not to get sick, taking little lines off an 80, not the best way to go but her getting sick is pretty severe, it happens honestly the next morning after a night of drugs.. but the thing is rachel's mom has a problem w. alcohol as well. so they made a deal, rachel cleans her act up and so does her mom. im not sure if that's a good idea, like you said dickon there's a lot more problems that go w/ this addiction than just drugs, there's a lot of problems, she comes from a pretty messed up family. she's a strong girl, she never talks about it to anyone but feels safe saying it on her since there's not really anything ayone can say about it. cra$H YOU are so right, this startd as a weekend thing, no one even mentioned to me this is where it could end up.. and dickon that's what i mean rachel makes every single one of hose mistakes, thts why shes' scared to go to sleep sometimes, i know thier dumb decisions, but when we go out to party she'll take more than the regular dose just b/ she wants " to be fucked up " and on top of that vodka w. it. it's a scary mix, and it's even scarier knowing you put your lifeon the line justto be fucked up. during the summer w. those four attempts 2 times i got one week clean and than the other two i couldn even go through w. it all she could think about was busting out lines and putting themup her nose. she tells me she has no motivation to do anything, she's called out of work when she hasnt been able to get drugs before work. she wont go out w. her friends. i think as you ask more question this situation unravels to be more and more complicated.. i just feel even more confused after writing that entry than i did yesterday.


p.s a percocet 30 is a roxicodone 30, on the street thier just called perc 30's.

[kailey_elise]

Dickon, 'perc 30s' are 30mg instant release oxycodone pills. they're kinda new(ish).

D&C, Rachel's family doctor should be able to find her a referral to a Suboxone doctor and/or clinic if s/he isn't certified to 'script it out personally.

I'd be worried about this:

"...rachel's mom has a problem w. alcohol as well. so they made a deal, rachel cleans her act up and so does her mom. im not sure if that's a good idea..."

Only because I wouldn't want Rachel to say 'fuck it - mom used, so I might as well too' or 'fuck it, mom's drinking again, with my genetics there's no hope so why try' or anything similar like that. Addicts are good at finding any excuse to use their Drug Of Choice. So conditions like that kinda scare me.

Oh, and if Rachel relapses, then mom relapses, don't let mom blame Rachel either! It doesn't work that way - no one make people get high, & no one else can make someone stop getting high, either!

~Kailey Elise

Reputation Comments on this post:

Very good point and great information!

[sikk66]

Very good point Swi Kailey!

Many times in the past swim and his best friend would make a pact to quit together. Every time we did this one of them would end up using, which gave the other one an excuse to use again.(Addicts love an excuse to start using again)
And many times at the end of the day once they were out of money and dope they would start blaming each other with the whole "This is your fault!" thing.
this is not a good scenario and definitely not an effective way to get clean in Swim's opinion.