please i need some honest guiding, not sure what to do.

[flashcash]

SWIM KNOWS IS KIND OF A LONG POST BUT REALLY NEEDS THE ADVICE

swim's 19 and was introduced to the stuff a year ago, during the first 5 or 6 months he fell inlove with blow, started doing a line or two a day and eventually found himself scoring a gram or 2, 3 to 4 times a week, thinking only about the stuff and his life rotating around coke.
then for a period of aprox. 5 months he developed a repugnance to it and ended up clean for a long time without even thinking about it.
swim changed completely the way he thinks about substances and in no way he'll abuse and be a slave of any kind of drug again.
a month ago swim scored some just for the sake of old times, and one more time after that. and now he's kinda thinking about it a few times a day, swim thinks the "thinking-of-it" is worst than any physical craving. plus swim gets really anxious about thinking of it because hes scared of a psychological addiction or obsession.
swim's thinking of scoring some and just relax and enjoy it for a day (like the past few times) to stop the worrying and the mind thing.

the past 2 times swim got 1/2 gr, sat in his room, listened to loud music and watched porn, just that, no comedown, no craving after and one time he even threw away what was left because he hates leaving that junk around for later, he rathers getting rid of it. in the old days he would get a line every ten minutes and not sleep for 2 days, and all that addict-like behavior, feeling he couldnt live without it.

is this recreational use? in no way swim feels he needs it but what about the mind thing? any ways to keep doing some a few times a month or once a week without worrying so much?
some "hardcore-addict" example would be good to get swim in a calmer place