lasting mindf*ck of the white happy powder

[Corksil]

Hey, a few weeks ago swim was using opiates daily for recreation purposes. He did this for a few weeks on end, and it's not the first time he's done it. He used to use more frequently, daily even - then stop when he ran out and deal with the consequences. Last time he used was no different, but he decided to wait longer than usual before getting more and getting back into the shit.

SWIM read that opiate addiction can be very gradual, and serious addictions can develop even from occasional spaced out usage. (Once a month, something like that...)

It's been about one month, and swim is becoming dimly aware that every time he goes back to it he wants it more and more and does more. SWIM has decided to wait a little longer (dunno how long) before he uses again but now he's feeling shitty. Physical stuff is not too bad (inability to regulate body temp, shaking, skin crawling, general disophoria) -- but now swim is feeling the mental stuff. He read that physical addiction is pretty temporary and is usually over it in a week or so. There's no real significant physical symptoms anymore.

How long til the mental stuff is gone? SWIM wakes up every morning feeling bored and depressed, slowed down and real pissed off. He's not pissed at anything in particular, just in a shit*y headspace. Kinda like that song, some days you just dun wanna wake up, everything's f*cked, everybody sucks. SWIM is beginning to think this is from withdrawal, but doesn't know for sure. He just knows he's always pissed off now and can't get motivated to do anything (like the things he used to love doing.)

He's trying to think his way through it, and has shroomed a few times along with some other psychedelics and they seem to help make progress but not enough. He smokes cannabis daily, and is looking at his last bud right now thinking he should take a break from smoking for a few weeks until he gets his head screwed back on straight. It's funny because he can't find a solution to his low moods and general irritation. It seemed like when he was high he could overlook stuff and just be chill in any situation, whereas now everything gets on his nerves or makes him nervous. He's irritated because he's pissed off, but if he thinks about it -- he's pissed off because he's pissed off and doesn't know why. Like being angry that you don't have more but also being angry that you're not grateful for what you do have...

SWIM is wondering from others who have felt this way before -- is this a side effect of oxycontin/methadone/morphine withdrawal or is this just normal for someone his age? (19) If it could be drug induced, do any other swimmers have insight as to how long it might last or when it might end (if ever?) SWIM is trying to enjoy his wonderful life and make the most of it but the shi*ty moods seem to slow him down.

(Yes, swim does work out, take vitamins, get lots of sleep, drink lots of water etc etc. He does not take anything for his condition but smokes cannabis, cigarettes, and tobacco from the bong.)

Thanks for swiys thoughts. SWIM knows no one else can make him better but seeks guidance from others who have been here before...