Addiction - My dexedrine story: the devil in a bottle

[Aracias]

Hey everyone this is swims first post and he does not really know where to begin but he is going to try.

Swim started using apmhetamines 2 years ago. And over that peroid he was given a bottle of pills that he was given by the doctor to control his "ADD", When swim was perscribed the pills he did not believe he had ADD but he had tried the pills once before and being new to drugs at the time really, really enjoyed the effects and kept his mouth shut and just agreed with the doctor so anyways swim used the pills at school and found out that the drugs where in his mind a godsend, they made him think better, faster and more effieciently,Swim always liked that side effect because was never a really good thinker ( not stupid..but not straight A's ) another side effect swim could probilly have done without but did not mind having was that it increased his social awarness and ability to talk to virtually anybody for as long as he desired, Swim at the time was a very social person with absolutley no problem befriending someone random off the street so the added benefit made him feel both superior to everyone around him and as if he could conquer the very stars he looked at

One year later side-effects from prolonged dexedrine use began to pop up..quiet litterly, the first thing Swim noticed was that he began to break out with acne now swim who was his entire life very sure of himself and what he was capable of..began to doubt himself and a lack of confidence became efident. he no longer could wow the girls the way that he had only a year before. Ontop of that was the ever present feeling of people watching you, swims closest friends people he called brothers seemed to hate him and ridicoule everything he said..eventhough they did not outright say it swim was sure that they where thinking it.

Six months after the first side effects swim tried to quit many times only to fail after he drained the the months bottle in only the first two weeks of the month and actually getting clean for the next two weeks only to have the devil sitting there inside a bottle on the 1st of the next month. Swims will and resolve to quit became very weak and he began to do excstasy and cocaine aswell as drinking very heavily to make the situation worse most of his friends were drawn into the same hard living lifestyle secretly adding to his guilt. the people that where not drawn into swims hell simply disapeared it seemed.

Two years now after swims first encounter with Dexedrine. Swim was no longer doing Ex or Coke but still drinking on weekends. Swim still does dex though with almost no positive side effects. After the dex high passes Swim also gets heartpalpitations, iregular breathing, complete lack of self confidence, rarley leaves house enelss to go party with friends to keep up apearences so people do not think swim is dead, Swim also cannot go into large public places without feeling overwhelming anxiety

Swim once thought he could conquer the world; Now swim cannot conquer a small orange pill... that promised him everything but only ended up taking everything away from swim


Swim wants advice from people who have used Dexedrine for a long peroid of time and if they experianced anything like this and what swim could do to better his situation.

Thoughtfull advice please I am new to this