Mushroom trip where SWIM felt he had to suffer like Jesus

[jakored]

Swiy found some very potent strains of mushrooms, and had a beautiful trip, then a bad trip in the space of six hours.

Swiy giggled, laughed, cried from joy and gibbered for two hours, then, felt as if his ideal self, his most powerful, beautiful mind and body now existed. Those around him were "facets" of his mind, his personality, being caricatures of the Journey of life to finally arrive at this perfect mind / body / spirit.

Swiy felt the world was one, that all things were in order, that everyone was connected, and that, the world being fixed, the world was Gone and Over.

Meaning, swiy thought that it was now infinity, and all persons had there own lives as there own personal heaven: traveling to Europe, seeing Egypt, sitting on a porch of in a pool for days, where you were just at that brink of releasing an orgasm constantly...and it would never stop.

However, swily felt then, that to get to this level, it was up to him to purge the world, or himself. This resulted in Swiy screaming, as a very large, dangerous, loud guy (heard for five blocks) at the top of his lungs, smashing the ground with his fists, and trying to attack a friend.

Police officers came, and helped swiy into a cop car, after two more arrived and two paramedics, after swiy intentionally dragged his feet through gravel, nearly broke his foot on kicking the cop car, and suffered nerve damage in his wrists from straining against the handcuffs for three hours.

This, because, to "fix" the world, swiy had to go through this, like some sort of crucifixtion, since Swiy felt that he was going to get curbed, beat, and suffer through prison (which swiy has been incarcerated before, and wishes to never be again). Swiy had to destroy his father (who was actually his Friend in real life), and destroy the earth through the power of his voice, which would get him locked up, write, get out, and save the world (wow).

Swiy got lucky, being so insane, was taken to a hospital rather then jail (fear of swiy hurting himself? liability?) and got a very mild fine.

Swiy, on the same "trip" later, felt the same way again...infinity, the world is beautiful, gone, perfect, we are one with everyone, and God. And once again, I felt like something terrible was going to happen, but it Had too.

Swiy chugged a lot of milk, and luckily went to bed instead of driving 50 minutes home.


Swiy can't get this godlike, or, chosen (swiy feels he is the Luckiest, 1 / 20billion souls in the earth to be chosen to suffer pain, purge, and live in this infinity with the rest of the world) without doing a huge amount of mushrooms.

Swiy can't do that anymore, being that swiy is dangerous in this state, even to friends around him.


Similar experiences? Swiy, never doing mushrooms before a few months ago, has felt like he has found true spirituality, gratitude and appreciation of LIFE through these experiences (even the negative trip).

Swiy loves the "good" part of the heavy trip (doing...~1/8? depends, the potencies vary), but doesn't know how too keep his demons in check in this same frame of intense mind.