Health - was fun for a lil bit not n e more

[CHRLIETHEUNICORN]

Okay so iv bin kinda paranoid for a while now thinkin iv might have aquired a lil brain damage due to use of XTC. Im 20 so really i shouldnt have any health or mental issues. I wasnt a heavy user but sum weekends and festivals i took them. After about 20 times taking it i didnt like it anymore. i would be on it but not like the feeling it felt like extremely fake happiness. All i could think about when on it was how shitty i would feel the next day.

After sleep paralysis a few times and night sweats. I thought i better stop taking it before i did n e damage cause i was normal and happy when not on them. It worked untill i got drunk and sum 1 gave me a pill. I took only one pill it messed me up on the night only bad thing i noticed on the night was i was talking on the phone to this girl i know and she was talking and i could hear wot she was saying but i couldnt understand the sentences no matter wot i did i could understand her so i handed the phone to sum1 else to talk to her. it was really scary and freaked me out.


It all started the next day when I Had sever anxiety and paranoia. i was scared of talking to people and couldnt look them in the face for no reason. It lasted about a week intensly but still is sort of lingering. its been 5 weeks and the anxiety and paranoia is sorta gone but i still feel heaps awkward talking to people. Still cant look them in the eyes. I cant really think straight n e more i feel kinda dumb. I used to be moderately smart and used to have a sense of humor but cant seem to make jokes n e more and im depressed and have never been like this. Used to have mad conversations with people but i cant seem to keep one going now for some reason they usually end up with me saying sumthing stupid and not being able to think of n e thing to say when this never used to happen.


When sum one asks me a question its like the words dont register and i have to say wot? and they say it again and i have to listen really carefully to understand wot their saying even simple questions. its making life kinda difficult and awkward. and this is making me more depressed and feel anxious cause i think iv done damage. Im really scared now dunno wot to do iv neva felt dumb before and its making work hard being that m a sparky. Really had to ge tthis off my chest cause its eating me i hope i havnt wrecked my life.

Any way so i was wondering
(1) could this be just lingering affects of a PMA pill or could it be at the point where i have do pills too many times and caused damage
(2) does anyone think this will go away?

also...............im very passionate about not taking it eva again and neva will, i just hope i get myself back and regret it all.