Detox and methadone.

[dr.gonzo]

"I just got back from an in-patient opiate detox. I am (was?) a student at a junior college. The detox was hard to say the least. The first day, I got some lorazepam (ativan) for anxiety. This didn't do much for anxiety so I asked if there was anything else. The doctors switched me to 25mg chlordiazepoxide (librium). This was even less effective. I couldn't sleep so they gave me zolpidem (ambien). I still couldn't sleep so they gave me another dose of ambien. They also gave me some meds I can't remember for stomach pains. My roommate wasn't helping much; he was this bulky guy with what looked like prison tattoos covering his arms.

I asked him, "So what are you in here for?"

"Suicidal tendencies with homicidal idealizations."

Great, I thought to myself. Later, the guy looked at me and asked if I said 'fuck you' to him, and I tried to act as cool as I could and told him that I didn't say anything.

Day two was much easier. They gave me 30mg of methadone at eight in the morning and another 30mg at noon. This made me feel fine throughout the day, but I would still ask for librium just for the hell of it. I tried to change it back to ativan, or to something more effective, but the doctor only talked to me for five minutes that day and only said that she didn't know much about methadone maintenance. I got two doses of ambien at night but still had a little trouble sleeping.

My methadone dose was reduced by 20mg on day 2, and this made me a little anxious to say the least. Librium didn't help, the nurses didn't help... the most helpful thing was talking to other patients, most of which were in the facility for non-drug related reasons. Nobody was in for opiate detox.

I was moved to a new unit with about four people. There was one girl there for "cocaine detox", whatever that means. I was the youngest person in there by far until I met her, she was 18, and she was the first person I could relate to. We talked a lot until it got to be around ten at night. Someone put on "What About Bob?", and I laughed to myself at how inappropriate the movie was for what was basically a mental institution.

On the third day, my methadone was reduced again. I received 10mg in the morning, and another 10 at noon. I was obviously anxious. I got librium all day, talked to the girl, and tried to keep my mind away from opiates. I played a lot of texas hold'em with the girl and talked until she got tired and went to sleep. I browsed the movies and watched an hour of "High Fidelity." I had talked to the doctor earlier and thankfully got something better than ambien. They switched me to 30mg of temazepam. I had to hide how happy the switch made me.

On the last day of the center, I was given some librium for anxiety and some meds I forgot for stomach pains. They told me that I'd be discharged, and I had mixed feelings. I would miss the girl. She was my poker buddy, and I didn't want to leave her alone with only one other patient in the unit. But I had to leave, and they let me go with a prescription for forty 500mg methocarbomal (which is useless), and fifteen 30 mg temazepam (which is a godsend).

When I got home, I took some temazepam and finally got some goddamn sleep. When I woke up at around four in the morning, my meds were gone and I almost had a panic attack. I found out later that my mom took them. After some debate, I should be getting them back soon.

Nobody has been helpful in informing me about methadone maintenance. I'm finally off opiates (I guess) but the cravings are there. I'm going through all sorts of therapy and talking to psychologists and whatnot. Everybody has danced around methadone maintenance. I just want to know if I can meet the criteria for methadone maintenance. I know being on a reasonable amount of methadone would keep me off the street and keep me from craving. Any advice would be welcome."

-Jack

p.s. sorry for the long post, it has been an eventful couple of weeks