cocaine has completely taken over my life.. damn

[JaWill88]

swim must admit cocaine has COMPLETELY taken over swims life. swim used to think the heroin was the main problem but thats bs. heroin isn't even damaging to the body at all. swim was able to finally quite shooting heroin by getting on suboxone last year the day after christmas. swim always thought the opiates are what was destroying his life. but when swim thinks about it... its cocaine. cocaine is such a worse drug. soooo much more psycologically addicting it's rediculous. it is an obsessive compulsive disorder. swim hates it so much. every morning when swim wakes up he thinks about how hes gonna get his blow. swim used to only shoot it. that was the only satisfying way. but then swim started to rock it up so he could get needles out of the picture completely. now swim has even gone back to snorting it like he did years ago. but its still completely destroying him, his family, and his relationship with friends and everything else. swim used cocaine tonight and regrets it so bad. swim has to turn in an employee handbook tomorrow and will be getting scheduled to work for the first time ever. swim finally got the job he always wanted. electricians apprentice. swim really wants to become an electrician and if he screws this up, he is screwing his whole life up. anyways swim is mostly just trying to vent as its really bothering him more and more each day (his addiction that is) and is wondering if anyone has any advice. swim really dislikes 12 steps and would rather use than be one of the more miserable with the false sense of hope. and swim does not believe in any certain higher power or anything but doesn't really hate on it either. basically swim is wondering what others have done at the very beginning of quitting cocaine to get through cravings and stuff. swim just CAN NOT do this shit anymore. thanks for letting swim vent. any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. thanks.