Honor.......or expediency?

[mick mouse]

SWIM was sitting out at the bonfire most of last night, consuming mass quantities of his favorite adult frosty beverage and towards the end of the night (the sun was about an hour from coming up), he had a terrible thought.

Did he fulfill honor in accepting a plea agreement or just satisfy expediency?

First, some background.

As some of you may know, SWIM accepted a plea agreement which will send SWIM to prison for 5 years, said agreement to become effective on Dec. 8th of this year. LE couldn't get SWIM straight up, so they threatened SWIMs wife and children. The terms were: SWIM does 5, wife walks, son walks, sons fiance walks, SWIM's two girls (10 and 11) as well as his grandbaby are not taken away, and a few other things. The alternative was: go to trial, face 18 1/2 to 24 3/4 for SWIM, 5-7 for SWIM's wife, 1-3 for son and fiance, kids go to child protective services for placement in foster care with "eventual" return to a family member.

Sounds like a easy decision, doesn't it?

This is the problem. While SWIM has learned many things in his 43 years, he has conducted his life by three simple rules: 1. something his father taught him when he was just a little swimmer-the world will never remember how many times you fell down, but they will ALWAYS remember how many times you got up. 2. something his grandfather taught him-Winston Churchills speach in 1943, which ends-We shall defend our Honor, whatever the cost may be, we shall NEVER surrender. 3. Something his first Special Forces commander taught him (this is the tricky part)-sometimes it is necessary to sacrifice a member of the team in order for the team to survive and achieve the goal. In his 12 years of military service, SWIM has had to make that decision three times. It never got any easier and hurt more and more each time. It leads to second-guessing and the dreaded "what if?"

What if the former captain SWIM said to hell with the odds and fought it out, what if he performed actions differently, what if he had the John Wayne mentality of death before dishonor (thats the Marine Corps creed, but it is just as applicable)?

What if SWIM took on the world and went down, but went down swinging?

As SWIM sat out by the fire, reviewing past actions and memories, the words of both his father and of Sir Winston echoed through his mind, at war with the words of his former commander and respected friend.

SWIM had a good shot, in his mind, at winning this thing but the price of failure would be unimaginable.

SWIM no longer has many friends, due to the inability to re-integrate into society following his giving up his commission and withdrawing from military life. Call it PTSD or what you will, but SWIM saw and did some terrible things and it scarred him to a degree that is unbelievable to those of you who are not vets or those who do not have some experience with vets.

Not many friends, except those of you in this forum. Those of you who have shown SWIM compassion and understanding without even knowing him or his circumstances. Those of you who just say hello, hows it going? (thanks, LuLu!)

So, with the above circumstances regarding his options and the possible ramifications in mind, did SWIM make the right call?