Injecting - thoughts on ex-heroin IV user moving to IV cocaine

[suninmy_MOUTH]

SWIM might have made a big mistake lately. SWIM almost forgot that back when he was an H addict... part of what he loved was the whole process leading up to the shot. Probably influenced by films like Trainspotting and Pulp Fiction (funny how most who saw those flicks were then repulsed by heroin... but they just romaticized the wanting to try it for SWIM and his friends) but one of SWIM favorite things was to see the thick, dark, slow-moving blood tumble back into the plunger. Even when SWIM ran out of money or sources were dry, he might just cook up some water just to see it. Seem to relieve the withrdrawal symptoms for a little bit too.

The thing for someone like this, who not only was not afraid needles, like a lot of people are, he fetished them. However, with heroin, no matter how big SWIMs habit was, he could take that shot, and be good for at least 6 hours... but usually 12, and sometimes 24.

SWIM cleaned up about 6 years ago, basically from everything except drinking once and while. SWIM has mentioned his story in full elsewhere, but IV'ing coke... with the possibity of shooting up 20x in matter of hours... not good. SWIM might really be after the process that he loved as a heroin addict, well, he knows its true, b/c he wasn't thinking about the craving for coke the next day after IV'ing coke for the first time, he thoughts were of that blood drippiing back into the tube. Whenever that image pops into SWIMs mind... he just wants to do it so badly. The only upside to the whole thing was that SWIM felt pretty good the next day after doing his inital shots. Much better than doing a lot of lines, and certainly better than how heroin can totally, how to say it.... once you are on it, you are on it all the time.. until you get through wtihdrawl. SWIM felt normal in the head the next day and even got some good work done.

Yet with quicker recovery, comes the readiness to buy some more and do it all over again. Good thing there is a holiday tomorrow, as SWIM loaded up again. Just 1 gram. Knowing that he will do it all, and since the contact is not gonna deliver 2x in one day. 1 gram and that will be that. SWIM is just going to have to take a step back... like he did with H, and make an honest effort to quit. Obviously, heroin mainliners will find no solace switching to cocaine.

Oh well, at least nothing too bad happened... as they say, most addicts can't stop till they hit rock-bottom. But being an ex-addict, SWIM knows that might not be too far off... wish SWIM well to stay strong.