Absence from forum...Benzo taper in full effect

[Benzhead]

HI SWIAOY(Someone Who Isn't All Of You),

Upon entering the forums yesterday, SWIM was greeted by the following message:

Hello Benzhead it appears that you have not posted on our forums in several weeks, why not take a few moments to ask a question, help provide a solution or just engage in a conversation with another member in any one of our forums?

Tis true.

The reason for SWIM's delinquency is that he is undergoing a Klonopin(clonazepam) taper. SWIM could turn this into a book very easily.

The short story is that SWIM has gone from 4mg/day to 3mg/day in the span of three weeks. The better part of the story is that SWIM has - thus far - not experienced any of the dreaded benzodiazepine withdrawal symptoms, save for a bit of heightened anxiety that quickly passes.

SWIM and his P-Doc. are monitoring the situation closely, and so far, so good.

The reason that SWIM hasn't been posting, is because he has been fillling his time with healthy activities in order to ease what could be a painful episode in one's life.

That's the short story. For those that have masochistic tendencies, read on.

SWIM should point out that his dependency on clonazepam was iatrogenic, not due to a long-term experiment in self-medication. SWIM has been on varying doses of clonazepam for in excess of 11 years. SWIM thought that he would have a very difficult time weaning himself from his beloved benzo, but very much the opposite has occurred.

A digression if SWIM may.

The reason that SWIM was initially prescribed clonazepam was that it was considered the lesser of two evils, as SWIM was self-medicating(HEAVILY) with ethanol...which by way of a liquor store being in close proximity to SWIM's home, was all too easily acquired. SWIM would binge drink for up to twelve days in a row - with nothing but 80 proof vodka entering his system for the entire time. SWIM went into chemical detoxing on two occasions.

At no time did SWIM experience delerium tremens, or seizures, but did very mildy hallucinate. These hallucinations were limited to 6-12 hours after SWIM's last drink, and consisted of seeing naughty words in the patterning of pillow cases, wallpaper, and carpeting. In the interest of full disclosure, the hallucinations became manifest after a short period of staring at these patterns, and SWIM saw words and phrases such as, 'fuck you' and ' fucking loser.' SWIM knew that these were hallucinations caused by the abrupt cutting-off of alcohol after a long period of ingestion. As such, they were cause for alarm only the first time, as SWIM thought that they were a harbinger of a full-blown alcohol withdrawal syndrome.

End digression.

So, armed with this info. that SWIM had a propensity for abusing GABA agonists, it was - after numerous drug trials with numbers of anti-depressants, and Ambien(zolpidem) - that SWIM's P-Doc. put him on an SSRI(Zoloft), the utterly sedating Desyrel(trazodone) and clonazepam.

SWIM has undergone numerous tests for liver and kidney abnormalities, and remarkably, all these tests show normal function.

This initial round of diagnoses, and drug trials took place circa 1994. Since then, SWIM has had to switch ADs once; Remeron(mirtazepine) for trazodone, and Effexor(venlaxafine) for Zoloft(sertraline) which had slowly become ineffective for treating SWIM's episodic bouts with major depression. Many other trials were performed during the intervening years, with varying degrees of success.

As of today, SWIM is prescribed mirtazapine - 'as required' - and clonazepam. The awful monkey of depression is gone for now.

SWIM vows to post more frequently. Although just when that is, is dependent on how SWIM's taper is going.

Thus far, it is going SWIMmingly.

SWIM should note that given his history of abuse of most everything, that he and his P-Doc. decided against a taper substituting a longer half-life benzodiapine, such as Valium(diazepam), as this might prolong SWIM's GABA dependency issue, and can be modified should SWIM report difficulty in maintaining his tapering schedule.

SWIM knows that the worst may yet be ahead, but has much support for this ordeal. The last taper is something that SWIM looks forward to - both with excitement, and dread.

SWIM will report any variance in condition during his benzo taper in this thread.

One final word. If 'someone who isn't' is considering a benzodiazepine withdrawal, SWIM implores them that they do so with the help of medical professionals that have experience in this area.

SWIM believes that his as yet good experience is due to a confluence of factors, not the least of which is his previous lack of difficulty quitting alcohol with few complications. It is very possible that SWIM's brain physiology is relatively tolerant to the sudden removal of GABA agonists - although the action of the two classes of drugs are NOT the very same. SWIY has been warned!

SWIM discussed this very matter with his P-Doc., and while she would not commit to SWIM's hypothesis, did say that it was possible, if not plausible.

That's all, folks.

(If this is utter nonsense, remember SWIM is on a benzo taper, and his few marbles are likely to be scrambled )