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Amphetamines addiction Support for coping with Amphetamine-, Meth- and Ecstasy- addiction and Amphetamine addiction treatment.

 
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  #1  
Old 24-01-2013, 14:51
synchronous synchronous is offline
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Am I addicted or being destructive?

Hi all,
I've been visiting these forums for quite a while now and absorbing a lot of the information here and for the most part they are great. I then went through the addiction forum and it made me wonder if I am addicted or being destructive with what I am doing.

Here's a little background:

I never did any drugs or drink or any of that stuff. So, junior year of undergrad, I heard about Adderall/Vyvanse and it sounded pretty awesome and me being a pre-med student I wanted my grades to be higher. Long story short, I got a prescription for Vyvanse (Lisdextroamphetamine) 30mg and then stayed at that dose for 2 or 3 months and then upped the script to 50mg which I have been on for the past year.

When I first got my script I was taking them everyday like prescribed. Then maybe after 6 months, I stopped taking them everyday and went down to about 2-3 days a week only (but I felt the withdrawals 3 of the 4 days off and they sucked) because they were not as effective anymore and I did not want to up my script to 70mg, even though the psych offered to.

Here I am now, on my day off from the drug feeling slight withdrawals and a craving to pop a pill and I most likely will not, and also questioning if I am addicted. This wondering lasts for about 3 days, which is about how long the main withdrawals last for me. Then the fourth day, I feel fine and think to myself "There, you are normal, you aren't addicted, you can function without it." and I do but then I think "So since you are fine and can control yourself, whats the harm in popping a pill now? It makes your day a whole lot better and productive and there really isn't a reason to stop."

That's pretty much it. I don't find a reason for the need to stop.
My life hasn't turned upside down, I haven't lost my friends or family or any of that.
My grades have improved.
I haven't upped my script and never took multiple doses in one day. Hell, sometimes I'd split a 50mg into halves and only take 25mg that day.
But something inside me tells me I'm doing something wrong, I don't know how to explain it better than that.

Can I get some input on this please?

Thank you all.
  #2  
Old 24-01-2013, 15:38
SpatialReason SpatialReason is offline
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Re: Am I addicted or being destructive?

This made me smile. You are definitely a very concerned person for your health, and that is good.

Really, this is just classical comedowns/withdrawals from a prescribed stimulant as you're readjusting your body to not having it. If you used it as prescribed without redosing/abusing/binging it, even though it was a medically prescribed dosing schedule, you will definitely have some effects upon ceasing the use of this type of medication. Your brain will start to expect the Lisdextroamphetamine for its additional stimulation. This is almost like someone who is a "coffee junkie" quitting for a week. You will feel tired, lethargic, and wonder why you even quit in the first place while vindicating doing it again. In the case of this level of use, you will try to vindicate returning again.

The nice part is that this is just a normal thing. If you really wanted to assure these issues weren't there, you'd have to do a tapering down cycle for a few weeks. A doctor would have been glad to do that if you suggested it as this is a normal expectation with this type of medication.

Trust me, you are not destructive nor are you addicted. You just have remnant psychological effects from using a medication for an extended period of time where you built tolerances and upped the dosage. That was your brain showing its slight characteristic dependence.

Really, just maintain self control and don't take it if you don't need it. It is easy to become addicted to prescription medications, but you are far from that stage friend. Really, you are lightyears from being "destructive." Yet don't think it is wrong to be overly concerned. We are typically seeing someone labeled as destructive being the kind to melt their normal dextroamphetamine script down in a spoon and shoot the stuff into a vein. So believe me, you are far from deviating from the right path. You are a pre-med student asking all the right questions! You are fine!

If you do not need the medication any more, fight the urge to take it. There is no reason to be taking prescription medications without the proper medical need for it. You are using it as an "enhancer," and while that is fine and dandy, it too can lead to a slippery slope. If you have formal medical diagnosis, use it to just overcome those issues enough to harness normal functioning capabilities.

I say it is fine to take it again, but I'd leave a few months as a sabbatical and return to it slowly on a low dose again. Of course, stop it if you believe I am correct in saying it is not necessary. Medications like this can come with a little bit of dependency, as will all stimulants used daily for over the course of months, but it takes a lot more effort to become formally addicted and begin harming yourself. Most people that stop don't even realize that they are feeling the effects of coming off the medication, and they continue on. You are keenly aware of your body and mental notions, so you at least have a better chance of doing what you want to do.

So to end this: you are fine so as long as you don't ever get the good notion to deviate from prescribed dosages or start moving into harder stimulants. I'd just stop the pills for a bit and let your body and brain functionally readjust to not having it. If you feel it is unnecessary after doing that, just quit taking it entirely and move on from it. If you feel that it can be useful, start off with a low dose again and only use it in short term spurts. Trust me, it takes a bit more than "following doctors orders" to start having a medication take over your life. It sounds like you aren't the kind to abuse medications. I just think you are overly concerned about the feelings that your body & mind give you when coming off of something it was formally becoming used to. This is called "slight withdrawals." It is just a sucky looming feeling, and you really wonder if it is worth losing the magic. In this consideration, I think it is as you will be able to readjust and refocus yourself without the medication. You'd probably be better off without it. Trust me, it is a slippery slope when using it as an academic performance enhancer because the moment you lose that pure notion of prescribed usage of medical prescriptions, you could find yourself moving onto bigger and worse things for that "edge." After that, the "edge" loses all meaning and then you find yourself just using a drug. At least that is how it went with me.

So once again, your best advice is just to stay strong and know this is a normal side-effect of stopping.

Post Quality Evaluations:
Quality post. Great feedback!
for the very caring and supportive statements to OP, thank you.

Last edited by SpatialReason; 24-01-2013 at 16:10.
  #3  
Old 24-01-2013, 16:10
derpahderp derpahderp is offline
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Re: Am I addicted or being destructive?

Id think the above poster has some very valid points especially to get the edge off as they'd stated. It's also due to the fact that your body might need a taper and maybe going down is a choice. There's many things one can attempt to try when you're tired of feeling that way. http://www.drugs-forum.com/forum/sho...d.php?t=195837 phenylalanine was suggested,
Quote:
since the dopamine gets depleted, feedback mechanisms will cause the body to synthesise so the precursors will end up getting depleted too and I don't know how far down the metabolic pathway it goes.
You'd also asked:
Quote:
wondering lasts for about 3 days, which is about how long the main withdrawals last for me. Then the fourth day, I feel fine and think to myself "There, you are normal, you aren't addicted, you can function without it." and I do but then I think "So since you are fine and can control yourself, whats the harm in popping a pill now? It makes your day a whole lot better and productive and there really isn't a reason to stop."
That and or any other source of fatty amino acids in the ways of pill form or from tuna and or most fish, some non-dairy products like soymilk sometimes have omega three's in it, and of course some exercise while you go through ups and downs. The chore in this would be to also remind yourself that the need isnt physical wise. A mental chore in just remembering what's triggering that feeling of, "well, I've been okay and it shouldn't hurt if I pop one."

Im guessing through your doctor, just ask what's the best method for taper would be.. and remember to just get some exercise as the 3rd and 4th day goes by. Or check out what the poster here said, http://www.drugs-forum.com/forum/sho...light=receptor <post.3> and check out effects on your serotonin for more information on trying to get through the weeks of a taper off. Hope that information can help. Take care.

-R

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Right on, Right! This is grade A for a newbie, with good external references, and with that, you earn a fine stake in rep! Keep it up!
  #4  
Old 24-01-2013, 16:17
synchronous synchronous is offline
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Re: Am I addicted or being destructive?

I really appreciate that reply. In fact, I was taken back by how much time you took into writing that. Your reply put a smile on my face as well, not just for the relief but also for the fact that someone would take the time to actually write that well of a thought out reply. A smile for a smile will leave the whole world smiling.

synchronous added 6 Minutes and 16 Seconds later...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Right View Post
Id think the above poster has some very valid points especially to get the edge off as they'd stated. It's also due to the fact that your body might need a taper and maybe going down is a choice. There's many things one can attempt to try when you're tired of feeling that way. http://www.drugs-forum.com/forum/sho...d.php?t=195837 phenylalanine was suggested,

You'd also asked:


That and or any other source of fatty amino acids in the ways of pill form or from tuna and or most fish, some non-dairy products like soymilk sometimes have omega three's in it, and of course some exercise while you go through ups and downs. The chore in this would be to also remind yourself that the need isnt physical wise. A mental chore in just remembering what's triggering that feeling of, "well, I've been okay and it shouldn't hurt if I pop one."

Im guessing through your doctor, just ask what's the best method for taper would be.. and remember to just get some exercise as the 3rd and 4th day goes by. Or check out what the poster here said, http://www.drugs-forum.com/forum/sho...light=receptor <post.3> and check out effects on your serotonin for more information on trying to get through the weeks of a taper off. Hope that information can help. Take care.

-R
The fish oil sounds like a good idea. I used to take some of that and have been neglecting it. And yes, the feeling of "well i've been okay and it shouldn't hurt if I pop one" is so on point. The part I hate the most is sometimes I would get really depressing thoughts but all that goes away after the 3rd or 4th day as if though I'm someone new and then that's when they cycle repeats. I will try and hold out for longer and start out again at smaller doses if even that. I can't say that I don't enjoy the euphoria that gets induced every now and then but the withdrawals really outweigh it for me. Thanks for your input. I really appreciate it.

Last edited by synchronous; 24-01-2013 at 16:17. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
  #5  
Old 08-02-2013, 14:46
flingapoo flingapoo is offline
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Re: Am I addicted or being destructive?

Ive gone through the cycle for a few years. What eventually started happening is I would go through my script early and how fast I went through increased with time. I sometimes would continue to take it even if it had no positives at all.

The more I take the less it does, If I were to take 100MG of adderall IR I'd get really tired and zoned out :/ If I take about 10mg it will help me get going. I have had small binges but never really came out with a good experience. I have tried the harder stims and while they can be a bit more euphoric the same is true for me with them in that if i try to push it ill just get tired. The first time I tried meth I fell asleep four hours later. I guess that shows the adhd in my case is a true diagnosis...
  #6  
Old 04-03-2013, 16:13
elnob elnob is offline
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Re: Am I addicted or being destructive?

Hey buddy. U are ok! It is good to worry but what ur feeling is the comedown I'd crash...... Which explains why u chose to describe as "destructive". Don't worry man, just stay positive and set urself goals for urself. When the drugs start to "use" u its time to stop. Please do not be insulted, but maybe go to school to take up some time; I think u r a smart person and its an easy way to keep yourself moving forward in life

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  #7  
Old 04-03-2013, 18:26
NeuroChi NeuroChi is offline
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Re: Am I addicted or being destructive?

Quote:
Originally Posted by synchronous View Post
made me wonder if I am addicted or being destructive with what I am doing.
Quote:
When I first got my script I was taking them everyday like prescribed. Then maybe after 6 months, I stopped taking them everyday and went down to about 2-3 days a week only (but I felt the withdrawals 3 of the 4 days off and they sucked) because they were not as effective anymore and I did not want to up my script to 70mg, even though the psych offered to.
Technically, you are abusing the medication and if you told your doctor this they'd likely stop giving it to you. Not abusing it like we've grown accustomed to reading here on DF, but abusing it nonetheless.

Quote:
Here I am now, on my day off from the drug feeling slight withdrawals and a craving to pop a pill and I most likely will not, and also questioning if I am addicted.
I'm going to have to disagree with the posters above and say that it sounds like you are developing an addiction.

"We believe, and so suggested a few years ago, that the action of alcohol [or any other drug] is a manifestation of an allergy; that the phenomenon of craving is limited to this class and never occurs in the average temperate drinker [or drug user]. - Alcoholics Anonymous, xxviii (The Doctor's Opinion).

The fact is that drug abuse leads to drug addiction, not invariably but very often. And you consciously chose to reduce your weekly dosage to get more effects from the drug, which is a form of drug abuse. And add to this that non-addicts don't get cravings for drugs, and you're in a risky position.

Quote:
This wondering lasts for about 3 days, which is about how long the main withdrawals last for me. Then the fourth day, I feel fine and think to myself "There, you are normal, you aren't addicted, you can function without it." and I do but then I think "So since you are fine and can control yourself, whats the harm in popping a pill now? It makes your day a whole lot better and productive and there really isn't a reason to stop."
I did something like this off and on for about 5 years. Then I became an addict. Just saying.

Quote:
But something inside me tells me I'm doing something wrong, I don't know how to explain it better than that.
This is the kicker, right here. This is your conscience, which is looking out for you. This is the tiny voice that notices that something isn't right, but can't quite put a finger on it.

Unfortunately this voice often grows weaker with time and drug exposure, so If I were you, I would heed it now.

Post Quality Evaluations:
Spot on to what I was thinking. OP is in the honeymoon phase & tottering on becoming an addict.
  #8  
Old 30-03-2013, 08:17
psykon psykon is offline
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Re: Am I addicted or being destructive?

Smart choice.

I started like that too, and then at some point i found myself sleeping twice a week for more than a year.

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