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Amphetamines addiction Support for coping with Amphetamine-, Meth- and Ecstasy- addiction and Amphetamine addiction treatment.

 
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  #1  
Old 10-05-2012, 12:29
Fem_anonn Fem_anonn is offline
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I feel like I'm losing myself.

It's been like.. three weeks or so since My petrock has done anything and she is well overdue.. It's like every little thing that she did .. while high .. reminds her now of how much she wants to do it.. like every song,place or even words.. It's like eating her alive.. She doesn't know what to do.She feels trapped, cuz her other petrock friends called her up at like 2am offering to do it.. and she simply couldn't because she was short of monopoly money...I don't know if she should do it again.. but its like the feeling overwhelms her and she can't stop craving untill she goes to bed.. but also a lot is at stake for if she does it again, but she really couldn't give give two f's about that...
Anyways has anyone ever felt like this before?
My petrock would really like to know.
  #2  
Old 10-05-2012, 15:22
zgoat65 zgoat65 is offline
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Re: I feel like I'm losing myself.

SWIM'S thoughts don't even stop when he goes to bed. Thats when it REALLY gets him, and he wakes up wanting to do what he loves. You are not alone. I don't think of it so much as "losing myself" as I found something that I enjoy and want to do it. perception is 9/10 of reality.
  #3  
Old 10-05-2012, 15:34
Fem_anonn Fem_anonn is offline
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Re: I feel like I'm losing myself.

Quote:
Originally Posted by zgoat65 View Post
SWIM'S thoughts don't even stop when he goes to bed. Thats when it REALLY gets him, and he wakes up wanting to do what he loves. You are not alone. I don't think of it so much as "losing myself" as I found something that I enjoy and want to do it. perception is 9/10 of reality.

It is like getting too much I don't know if i should give in or not.
  #4  
Old 10-05-2012, 16:47
baba_yaga baba_yaga is offline
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Re: I feel like I'm losing myself.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fem_anonn View Post
It is like getting too much I don't know if i should give in or not.
Seriously think about the costs. Seriously think about the benefits. Try and be completely objective, maybe make a list "pros and cons".

Then make a decision based on that and not on how you feel and if it is different to how you feel, don't let your feelings bully you, if you have to find someone irl to talk things through with if it's possible.

Not that I listen to my own advice...

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Excellent advice! Pros & cons list is a great idea; people tend to forget that we do drugs because they DO have some benefits - they just don't often out-weigh the risks. ;)
  #5  
Old 10-05-2012, 16:57
zgoat65 zgoat65 is offline
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Re: I feel like I'm losing myself.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fem_anonn View Post
It is like getting too much I don't know if i should give in or not.
Like was said before, weight the pros and cons. If its something you love doing, I, personally, don't think you should be denied. If it will be detrimental to you, and you KNOW if it will or not, then don't do it. you know, better than anyone else, how you get when yer high. Make an educated decision based on the FACTS that you know about yerself, not what yer monkey tells you. monkeys tend to lie.
  #6  
Old 10-05-2012, 18:25
AboveDaInfluence AboveDaInfluence is offline
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Re: I feel like I'm losing myself.

You know what helps with cravings, working out! Trust me on this just run til you can't run anymore, sweat all that craving out. Also I found that the more bored you are the more you crave.
  #7  
Old 10-05-2012, 18:54
Fem_anonn Fem_anonn is offline
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Re: I feel like I'm losing myself.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AboveDaInfluence View Post
You know what helps with cravings, working out! Trust me on this just run til you can't run anymore, sweat all that craving out. Also I found that the more bored you are the more you crave.
true that, I might give in.. to be honest.. I don't feel any support really from loved ones or family because I cant tell them and stuffing my face with food isn't help I can't work out cuz I'll have breathing problems
  #8  
Old 10-05-2012, 20:01
TheBigBadWolf TheBigBadWolf is nu online
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Re: I feel like I'm losing myself.

Fem Anonn,

Sorry i can't help you with your cravings other than telling you that i have good experiences with getting busy. What truely helps me is to get on a certain internet forum where I have found other people in similar situations who are able to relate to my situation and give advice, partly from experience, partly from professionaly and privately achieved education. Congratulations you found this site.
And congratulations to communicate about it, this makes sure you have deeply understood that there is an issue with you and stims.

Whether you want to use or not is secondary, in this case.

I suppose you should better have this thread moved to the Recovery&Addiction Subforum to get your thread the greatest chance to be read by people who specialise in this topic, rather than having it here in the methamphetamine substance forum. I think your thread should get the biggest attraction possible.

(Not saying in any way that people on methamphetamine forum are not helpful, just to get biggest possible attraction!!)

To get the thread moved, do the following:

Look to the upper right edge of the blue frame of your post. There you will find a small red exclamation mark to click on. having done so, you will have a dialogue window open where you can ask the moderator(s) of this subforum to move it to R&A Section.

Back on topic:
To have something to fill your time. When you should be bored sitting in front of your computer talking to virtual people on an internet board get a pair of shoes on your feet and take a walk. Choose a direction, then walk for exactly 27 minutes, turn around and go back home. This will lead you to not using for another 54 minutes. This monkeys is only a minor part of your mind and you can master this monkey by boring it to death and not giving in. Give it your middle finger.

Take Care.
TBBW

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Exceptionally helpful reply. Good advice, supportive, & also gives advice on forum use.
  #9  
Old 10-05-2012, 20:08
karma187357 karma187357 is offline
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Re: I feel like I'm losing myself.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fem_anonn View Post
true that, I might give in.. to be honest.. I don't feel any support really from loved ones or family because I cant tell them and stuffing my face with food isn't help I can't work out cuz I'll have breathing problems
AFOAF just told me that she completely understands your situation about not trying to get support from family. But working out isn't that bad of an idea. It doesn't have to be a heavy exhausting work out just something simple to keep your mind occupied.
  #10  
Old 10-05-2012, 20:22
Fem_anonn Fem_anonn is offline
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Re: I feel like I'm losing myself.

yeah, I don't know I think ima just do it. Its whatever, I hate this. but its what i chose lol
  #11  
Old 10-05-2012, 23:15
zgoat65 zgoat65 is offline
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Re: I feel like I'm losing myself.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fem_anonn View Post
yeah, I don't know I think ima just do it. Its whatever, I hate this. but its what i chose lol
I always try to keep things in today (SWIM too). it is not a past choice that is affecting you today, but one you ARE making today. Sure, you chose to use meth a long time ago or whatever, but if you would struggle through these thoughts, you would soon get past them. They will return, but you do this over and over again, and it gets easier. Do not be defined by choices that you have made in the past, and try being ok with the choices you make today. If it bothers you to "give in", then it is probably not wise to do it. Without struggle, there is NO progress.
  #12  
Old 23-05-2012, 04:38
Dexmethylphenidate Dexmethylphenidate is offline
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Re: I feel like I'm losing myself.

Since the last time I did amphetamines (months ago) and all the times before I've felt like this. I did absolutely everything I could on amphetamines because it's really just grand... Hell, I even miss the comedowns. All day I just feel insane, but I usually just push it all away into the deepest part of my mind. It seems to work but I don't suggest you do it, has to be healthier ways. A side effect of bottling it up I've noted is frequently dreaming about doing amphetamines... Not just the usual dream once in a great while, but almost every night. Anyhow yeah your not the only one, just have to live with it until it goes away I guess. Or see a drug counselor, I've heard they work as well. But if your into stimulants then I'm sure you'll want to solve the problem yourself, seems to me a personality thats been introduced into stimulants is one that prefers to do things in solitude.
  #13  
Old 23-05-2012, 05:07
Eya724 Eya724 is offline
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Re: I feel like I'm losing myself.

My monkey has the same problem, pretty much. It landed him in jail a couple of times and in prison once. He found out he writes breathtaking poetry while incarcerated (because of forced sobriety perhaps), mostly about his addiction and the consequences of it. Anyhow, most people feel they are more creative (or produce better art) when they're under the influence, but sometimes, being sober is the perfect inspiration and outlet for one's natural creativity to shine through. Hopefully you won't have to end up locked up to find this out for yourself.

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