- Hey Photo, no worries, long posts are my thing, I actually have a hard time making them shorter, and I don't mind a good read.
- The video
I watched WAS a while ago, right before I went on suboxone
, and it was on their own website. It was a clinical advertisement type of video, and they tried to give info about their product, basically it's a sales pitch, telling you how they are gonna fix you. Ass holes. I know how much RB has lied about their patent, and so I don't really trust anything they say about their own product/racket, however that was the one part of the video that seemed to have some truth to it, at least when I look at how I feel, and have felt, while on this drug
. Also, my sub doctor said that was basically what happens, alluding to the fact that it was a little more complicated, but that was basically what was happening, or at least that was as deeply as I needed to understand it in his opinion.
- Suboxone for me is a VERY mixed blessing.... somehow, the combinations of drugs
I have taken, the ways I have taken them, how long I was on suboxone, and the dose I was on of it, have altered my brain quite a bit. Withdrawls are different for me now than they used to be. I'd like to say they aren't as bad, which is true in the physical sense. Using only about 1-2mg of suboxone, I can go through the worst symptoms of my withdrawls, usually lasting 3 days, sometimes 4, with minimized physical side effects
. Usually I can stop the puking altogether, and use loperamide
for gastrointestinal issues. WDs have always been quick for me, it's one of the reasons I have such a hard time using them to justify kicking anything. I used to get hot and sweaty, then cold and sweaty, I'd take a cool shower to cool down, and then need to take a hot one to warm back up. After suboxone, and in WDs with or without taking any crumbs of a sub that day, my temperature doesn't fluctuate AT ALL, rather it just always feels like I am a little cold, so I wear a sweatshirt and have a lap blanket and I just sit there feeling chilly, but not overly cold, then overly hot like I used to be (I would shiver). I used to have a lot more sleepless nights, usually 2-3 in a row, now I only have one sometimes, more often than not, I just have a restless night now, but still get sleep. The only thing that is still close to the same is the fuzzy feeling I get on my brain, like someone popped the top of my skull off and is slowly dragging a velvet cloth across my brain tissue, however, that only came back recently, and I think is more due to my ROA being IV now, a much stronger ROA than snorting
- That sounds pleasant, like my WDs aren't as bad as they used to be after suboxone... However, on day 4, I now get uncontrollable cravings. I sit there with my fists and teeth clenched, and all I can think about is making it stop, and feeling good. Most days I am in control, but sometimes it's like I'm a schitzo now. some days, I just wake up a an evil, even more drug-addicted version of myself, and will do things without thought to make sure I get what I need.... Of course I've always had cravings, but after suboxone, they are twice as bad, and twice as hard to fight. I don't even know how many times I make it to day 4, and then I somehow end up in the company of an enabler of mine, and I end up throwing away the 4 days of relative shittiness I've already gone through. Also, I used to be able to get through the cravings, now they just STAY after day 4. I've went for 2 weeks, that was in October, and I still had desperate cravings, and my back was in a LOT of pain. I found that after that amount of time, I could shoot up a couple times as long as it was during the same day, and the next day I would actually have an opiate
hangover, like I would get back in the day, and no WDs at all! If I continue for even one more day, my brain shuts back down and puts me in charge of keeping it chemically stable again, which means I am fully addicted again, usually at whatever level I was last at.
- Honestly, it is all very odd, Sometimes I think one thing is happening, and then something contradictory happens and I start to get confused. I have always been very in touch with my body, and what is happening. However, that is not always the case after suboxone. I can still feel all that is going on, but sometimes I am not right anymore.
- One thing though, I think my WDs are slowly starting to creep back towards what they used to be. Now that I have been mostly off of suboxone for many months now, I honestly don't remember how long, I'm noticing flickers of what I used to go through popping back up. The other day, I kinda had a minor hot flash, just for a few seconds, but I haven't felt that in years and I know what it is. Also, I had quit sweating durings WDs, and that has started to come back too. Not at the old levels, but still there making me uncomfortable. The night of sleeplessness is becoming common again, and I know it will turn into 2-3 in a row again if it keeps going the way it is, and I am worried that my brain is now changing BACK to how it was before suboxone. I like how it is now, with less WDs than before, but I am not going back on subs, as tapering off of them before was a REAL pain in the ass.
- I DO have bad back pain, a combination of scholiosis and hypokyphosis(sp?), which basically means my spine goes up my back like a spiral staircase, only without actually twisting around on itself, of course. But I am a case of someone who needs chronic pain management, but is also a terrible addict
with little self control. That makes my case difficult to deal with.
- I have looked alot into brain plasticity, and it turns out our brains are very plastic, and by that I mean malleable. The brain will continue to change as you live your life, depending on what you make it deal with. We see this when someone who is blind can teach themselves to echolocate, like a bat, or when the brain compensates for the loss of any sense by boosting the others. It is the same with drug receptors, and it is probably a lot more complicated than the simple explanation I have heard of receptors just dying off and coming back. However, I think that is BASICALLY what is happening, in laymans terms anyway. I would like to understand it better, I feel like I have a grasp on what is happening to me, but the grasp is tenuous and I would like a much firmer grip. I joined on here to learn a little about poppies for my friend Spotty, he is an expert grower, want's to have something like opium
around instead of suboxone to deal with his addictions. However, I was surprised and glad to see these kinds of discussions on Suboxone, as it effects me directly and I really wish I knew exactly how. Thanks for wanting to have this conversation. We have both been messed up by suboxone, in totally different ways. I've read about others who have still different problems! It actually makes it a little more confusing, but that means I don't understand it as well as I thought and that is knowledge I needed to know.
chemroxx added 2 Minutes and 51 Seconds later...
Also, interesting that suboxone caused you depression... I have depression, but suboxone did not effect it one way or another until I went off, when it got worse as one would normally expect. I feel that perhaps there is no such thing as a typical case when it comes to this drug. Some things are similar, but many symptoms we seem to go through are atypical and specific just to us. That, more than anything, makes it harder to sift through all the BS with this drug.